Another Option for Me — Suicide

[Flamingo1]

I'm not the person you are asking, but I consider mine to be gone now. It took a couple of years, but it eventually faded over time to where it now seems non existent. Occasionally I might hear it, but only for a few seconds. I'm at the point now where I go days or weeks without even thinking about it. Best advice I have is to get back to life and keep yourself busy. Don't spend so much time on forums talking and worrying about T so much.

-Mike

@Michael2013 Was your tinnitus noise induced? Have you been protecting your ears?

 

[leledany]

Hi when you say improvement after 6 months does that mean the t started to fade or you became more habituated, thanks

For improvement i mean that after 6 months I had one day of T from severe to mild. For me severe is T that you hear evrywhere even in the shower, instead when it is mild you do not hear it in normally loud
Envirorment. Little by little the days good seems to be more.

 

[Paulmanlike]

More suicidal thoughts, just want this to be over now. I want to sleep tight and never wake up. I can't go on living like this, it's not just the tinnitus, it's the anxiety, the depression. I want out and I hope my family and partner will forgive me.

 

[Flamingo1]

More suicidal thoughts, just want this to be over now. I want to sleep tight and never wake up. I can't go on living like this, it's not just the tinnitus, it's the anxiety, the depression. I want out and I hope my family and partner will forgive me.

@Paulmanlike Your tinnitus will probably fade with time and medicine is currently being developed to address all kinds of hearing problems.

Your issue is not tinnitus. Contact the Gateway Institute in Costa Mesa, CA regarding your OCD. http://www.gatewayocd.com/

There IS help for you!! Please message me and let me know what they have to say.

 

[glynis]

@Paulmanlike ,
Ring the mental health crisis line,Got to AnE,
Ring the Samaritans, your doctor so they can get you the help you need and Medication.
Things will get better with help.
Love glynis

 

[Sam Bridge]

Aren't anti depressants known to cause suicidal thoughts?

 

[Paulmanlike]

I've been having these thoughts since March and been in hospital. It doesn't help, there is no mental health care that will get rid of my problems.

They say hope is the last thing that dies with you and I'm all out of hope. Endless research into a cure looks far away, they still can't figure out exactly the mechanisms of tinnitus.

What's the point in living if I'm going to continue to suffer for the rest of my life. Just going to burden those around me.

 

[Lex]

I'm sorry if you feel this way. Looking at your case, I really believe you can overcome this IF you can manage your anxiety and depression. Because based from the way you describe your T, it's something many people have been able to habituate to.

But then again, your anxiety and depression prevent you from doing that. Those mental illnesses can certainly prevent someone from doing so many things. I hope you can get the professional help you need. Just feel free to vent here, if it eases the pain somewhat.

 

[Bobbie7]

More suicidal thoughts, just want this to be over now. I want to sleep tight and never wake up. I can't go on living like this, it's not just the tinnitus, it's the anxiety, the depression. I want out and I hope my family and partner will forgive me.

Dear @Paulmanlike - Once you take the correct antidepressant to manage your depression you will no longer think about suicide. So many have already written to you, explaining they had extremely severe tinnitus, so loud and distrubing but although they may have thought about ending their lives, they ultimately hung in there and went on to habituate and lead happy lives. You have read the most encouraging stories --- from people such as @glynis and @billie48 and @Michael Leigh who have explained how they have triumphed over tinnitus and you will too but you have to hang in there no matter how bleak you feel the situation is now. You are not thinking rationally at this point since you are letting the depression overtake you and believe me... I understand this very well but you must fight against these negative feelings now. It is apparent you do really need an antidepressant now which will manage your depression, lifting the despair you feel rather than having only suicide in your view. I believe if you are given the proper antidepressant you will feel differently. Again, you must think of your family; of course they will be completely devastated without you! What if the situation was reversed @Paulmanlike ..... how would you feel?

Ring the mental health crisis line,Got to AnE,
Ring the Samaritans, your doctor so they can get you the help you need and Medication.
Things will get better with help.
Love glynis

Please do not act rashly. When people go through dark periods in their lives, experiencing depression and anxiety, feeling despair and thinking of suicide as you are... only later do they realize the enormity of what their decision might have resulted in and are very thankful they never gave in. You are stronger than you think. After you have made the necessary appointment(s) and seen a doctor/therapist, please keep us posted.

Sending good wishes,
Barbara

 

[GregCA]

Aren't anti depressants known to cause suicidal thoughts?

They are. It's a bit ironic, isn't it?

They say hope is the last thing that dies with you and I'm all out of hope.

I don't follow that reasoning: as far as I know you haven't run out of things to try to address your T. Sure, it's possible that none of them would do anything for you, but until you've gotten to that point, it's not rational to be out of hope.
There is no cure that works on 100% of the people, but some treatments do work on some people. You could try them one by one. What do you have to lose?

 

[Paulmanlike]

Sorry for being so negative, I would hate for a new sufferer or anybody else to feel depressed by this thread. Please remember I have other issues...

I don't know Greg, I've become cynical of the whole T treatment world. Seems like a lot of snake oil for people to get money out of you that will do absolutely nothing for you. I'm starting to think the whole ENT "learn to live with it" is the only way out of this. Saw many research papers, read lots, T is an absolute phenomenon.

The mornings are the worst with my depression, I hope I find strength like you guys...

 

[Bobbie7]

Sorry for being so negative, I would hate for a new sufferer or anybody else to feel depressed by this thread. Please remember I have other issues...

Many people also have other issues so generally.. in everyone's life, there is more than one issue with which to deal. Life is complicated and if you can successfully learn to manage both your depression, tinnitus and whatever additional issues you have... you will, ultimately, become stronger. I personally can attest to the fact that as one overcomes each issue in his/her life, one by one, it does make one a stronger, more compassionate individual. I look at it this way: if one has adversity to deal with when they are younger, they are "armed" to better cope with anything else which may arise in the future. When a person surmounts their difficulties/issues (no matter what they are) one by one as they arise, each victory enables you to become stronger. For me personally, this is not merely some "nietzschean" philosophy but truth.

I'm starting to think the whole ENT "learn to live with it" is the only way out of this.

It's called: habituation. Think about asking for an antidepressant for depression, have patience and continue reading all the Success Stories.

Continued best wishes,
Barbara

 

[Mkc28]

@Paulmanlike, you need to find a benzo/ad that doesn't cause you to have horrific nightmares!! Years ago way before my T, I took the antidepressant Paxil for general anxiety and wow it gave me terrible nightmares so bad that I got panic attacks and insomnia because I was afraid to go to sleep. Then came tremors and the suicide thoughts. All of that just because of a little general anxiety. My physician took me off of them asap. No weaning! Now having T I know you need to sleep all thru the night to feel good and lower T. And the benzo clonazepam helped with that the 1st month of my T. And no nightmares! I think you said you are on 3 different pills and one of them could be causing your problems. How long have you been on them? Did they help you at all? If you don't lack serotonin you don't need antidepressants. At least that's what I was told. To much can give you some of the same things you are trying to get rid of. I've tried 2 and can't tolerate them. But I know they help so many people. The one that Glynis suggested sounds like a good one. My doctor gave me mirtazapine but I haven't tried it yet. My T is so quiet now I don't need it. Actually an antihistamine has lowered mine(knock on wood). But anyway, how did you deal with your T for so many years? Was it mild?

 

[GregCA]

Seems like a lot of snake oil for people to get money out of you that will do absolutely nothing for you.

There is definitely a lot of snake oil out there for Tinnitus, and unfortunately the onus is on you to weed that out. The way I do it is by perusing clinical trial results and scientific studies (you can find the reports for free online). If it's not diligently tested by an independent party, I am skeptical. Double blind tests with independent researchers are pretty good: once you find a couple of these that seem to indicate a moderately good success rate, I'd say put it in the "to try" list.

Also it sounds like your ADs may not be a great fit for you, so that could be one of the first things to focus on (talk to your docs about it - they should be able to swap them for something else that could work much better). It can totally change your outlook.

Good luck!

 

[Paulmanlike]

@Paulmanlike, you need to find a benzo/ad that doesn't cause you to have horrific nightmares!! Years ago way before my T, I took the antidepressant Paxil for general anxiety and wow it gave me terrible nightmares so bad that I got panic attacks and insomnia because I was afraid to go to sleep. Then came tremors and the suicide thoughts. All of that just because of a little general anxiety. My physician took me off of them asap. No weaning! Now having T I know you need to sleep all thru the night to feel good and lower T. And the benzo clonazepam helped with that the 1st month of my T. And no nightmares! I think you said you are on 3 different pills and one of them could be causing your problems. How long have you been on them? Did they help you at all? If you don't lack serotonin you don't need antidepressants. At least that's what I was told. To much can give you some of the same things you are trying to get rid of. I've tried 2 and can't tolerate them. But I know they help so many people. The one that Glynis suggested sounds like a good one. My doctor gave me mirtazapine but I haven't tried it yet. My T is so quiet now I don't need it. Actually an antihistamine has lowered mine(knock on wood). But anyway, how did you deal with your T for so many years? Was it mild?

Mild in he beginning then this year has become like a piercing noise, I have it one side only and if I sleep with the t side up the whole room appears to piercing with sound, it's horrible. If I turn on the other side the t doesn't appear as bad then and the volume perception seems to reduce, its bizarre.

Been on all the SSRI's, I hate it and these nightmares. I feel I haven't rested properly in months, hence why I wanna go to sleep and never wake up :-(

 

[Bobbie7]

Been on all the SSRI's, I hate it and these nightmares. I feel I haven't rested properly in months, hence why I wanna go to sleep and never wake up :-(

Hi @Paulmanlike - I am sorry you are continuing to have nightmares. This might sound like a silly question but I would like to know if you eat prior to your going to sleep or if you do any exercise? Have you at least examined what your activity is before retiring to bed? I know at times when we are heavily emotionally burdened, dark thoughts can invade our sleep and nightmares are the result. I assume you are not on an antidepressant currently since everyone is urging you take one. I am wondering if drinking some herbal which is known to encourage sleep may help you sleep without having nightmares. You mentioned you have tried all the SSRI's but I doubt you have tried each and every one.

When I was experiencing major clinical depression many years ago, the mornings were the worst for me as well and nightfall was far easier; then when morning rolled around the cycle of gloom enveloped me once again so I completely understand what you are saying. I was placed on one or two antidepressants which were not appropriate and then switched another which helped me to function again. This is why at times it is a matter of trial and error. There has to be something to break this cycle and I wish I knew what would work for you @Paulmanlike. Have you discussed your nightmare issue with your psychiatrist?

You mention you have other issues so are any of these factoring in somehow? You must have hope that eventually you will find something to help. Remain strong @Paulmanlike and banish the thought of suicide.

Sending positive thoughts,
Barbara

 

[Paulmanlike]

Hi @Paulmanlike - I am sorry you are continuing to have nightmares. This might sound like a silly question but I would like to know if you eat prior to your going to sleep or if you do any exercise? Have you at least examined what your activity is before retiring to bed? I know at times when we are heavily emotionally burdened, dark thoughts can invade our sleep and nightmares are the result. I assume you are not on an antidepressant currently since everyone is urging you take one. I am wondering if drinking some herbal which is known to encourage sleep may help you sleep without having nightmares. You mentioned you have tried all the SSRI's but I doubt you have tried each and every one.

When I was experiencing major clinical depression many years ago, the mornings were the worst for me as well and nightfall was far easier; then when morning rolled around the cycle of gloom enveloped me once again so I completely understand what you are saying. I was placed on one or two antidepressants which were not appropriate and then switched another which helped me to function again. This is why at times it is a matter of trial and error. There has to be something to break this cycle and I wish I knew what would work for you @Paulmanlike. Have you discussed your nightmare issue with your psychiatrist?

You mention you have other issues so are any of these factoring in somehow? You must have hope that eventually you will find something to help. Remain strong @Paulmanlike and banish the thought of suicide.

Sending positive thoughts,
Barbara

Hello Barbara

Yeah you got that right - the mornings are absolute agony with the evening being somewhat easier. But then morning comes and the cycle starts over again. My appetite is not the best and exercise has gone out of the window since post-depression mode.

I am on an SSRI anti depressant and been most of the SSRI class anti depressants over the years, although this was usually to treat anxiety and obsessive thoughts.

Sleep is difficult with waking throughout the night, the piercing T sound in my left ear, depression and anxiety attacks.

As I've been having suicidal thoughts, a lot of morbid thinking has been going through my mind. I've also made a methodology of how to do it, where to do it and pre things I need to sort (WILL, letters etc).

As bizzarre as it sounds, once I have the equipment and methodology sorted, it gives me some comfort that I have a clear exit plan should I choose not to live anymore.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in the next week however I do not expect much.

Wish you well Barbara thank you for your continued support.

 

[leledany]

Resist for at least 5 years and save money, we will be all cured for that date

 

[vermillion]

Resist for at least 5 years and save money, we will be all cured for that date

Resist yes. But not in the hopes of a cure that soon. I admire your optimistic point of view, but unfortunately this is wishful thinking. There are many realistic reasons for that. Let's just don't throw false hopes.

 

[Christophe_85]

Resist yes. But not in the hopes of a cure that soon. I admire your optimistic point of view, but unfortunately this is wishful thinking. There are many realistic reasons for that. Let's just don't throw false hopes.

We need to keep hope in a corner of our heads for a possible cure...

But meanwhile we can work on other things to get better globaly...

 

[vermillion]

We need to keep hope in a corner of our heads for a possible cure...
But meanwhile we can work on other things to get better globaly...

I prefer not to keep hopes for miracles. Cures for complexed neurological conditions such as tinnitus are unlikely to happen in the near; not to say even in the far future. Let's just hope for at least an effective treatment that would give significant and true relief. We probably won't see that in the next 20 years for various reasons, but that's just my opinion/conclusion after much reading on the issue. However if I prove wrong, it would be a pleasant surprise. Unfortunately we don't live in an ideal world where progress is being guided by the general well-being as the main factor.

 

[Christophe_85]

I prefer not to keep hopes for miracles. Cures for complexed neurological conditions such as tinnitus are unlikely to happen in the near; not to say even in the far future. Let's just hope for at least an effective treatment that would give significant and true relief. We probably won't see that in the next 20 years for various reasons, but that's just my opinion/conclusion after much reading on the issue. However if I prove wrong, it would be a pleasant surprise. Unfortunately we don't live in an ideal world where progress is being guided by the general well-being as the main factor.

I agree in some ways...

But everything is possible and as you said, this is not an ideal world BUT with all the people having T, they have reasons to keep trying to find a cure or at least some ways to relief...

Because they could get A LOT of money with it !!!

 

[leledany]

I am not optimistic, i am realistic! You know the progress in compiter science and medical is exponential. Consider the progress that have been made from 2012 until now regarding ear studing and extend exponentially for 5 years. The first cure will be within 5 years maybe it will not be as effective as the following but we can have some improvement of our condition. They started the race recently it is only a question of time

 

[InfiniteLoop]

@leledany

The amount of money in T research is very small, and the amount of failures just grows continuously. It will help if all the money that T sufferers spend in scams, and sure not to work cures, will be routed to T research.

 

[Paulmanlike]

It's true, there isn't going to be a cure anytime soon. I too have researched. The hope has died in me.

 

[leledany]

@Paulmanlike you cannot see bec you are depressed but I can assure you they started now a new approach, hair cell regrow and regeneration. How can you be so sure they will fail? Until now all the treatments they searched are to diminuish the simptoms now they are tring real cure

 

[Paulmanlike]

@Paulmanlike you cannot see bec you are depressed but I can assure you they started now a new approach, hair cell regrow and regeneration. How can you be so sure they will fail? Until now all the treatments they searched are to diminuish the simptoms now they are tring real cure

Hair cell regeneration is to fix hearing loss. I am in the group of no hearing loss with tinnitus. It might help someone with a big hearing loss by improving their hearing and masking some of their T sound. Like in the same way hearing aids do. It is not a direct cure for tinnitus.

 

[Sam Bridge]

Hair cell regeneration is to fix hearing loss. I am in the group of no hearing loss with tinnitus. It might help someone with a big hearing loss by improving their hearing and masking some of their T sound. Like in the same way hearing aids do. It is not a direct cure for tinnitus.

Have you been tested up to 20khz?

 

[Paulmanlike]

Have you been tested up to 20khz?

No just 8Khz, a change above that would be unreliable anyway

 

[Pomme]

Have you been tested up to 20khz?

Pretty sure you won't if you're relying on the NHS. Probably need to go private to get this done.