Chit Chat and All That...

[Tanni]

I'm 40 going on 60

What's your secret?? I thought 30, max!

Hope your leg gets better soon.

 

[Exit]

Oh, yeah, the balloon thing is so last season!

I've never been better!

You should see me using the walking frame... savage!

Grandma would be so proud

I'm 40 going on 60

Honey... you should go a little light on the Oxy you've got... we don't want another "accident"

Good you're feeling better!
Women and cats always landing on their feet / ankles...

That reminds me of a fascinating documentary last week, apparently when cats fly trough the air with their feet first, their bellies turn into a mini parachute so their falling speed reduces and makes them invincible!

One cat in NY fell from 15th floor and only chipped her corner tooth

Now that you're officially an invalid you'll got good times in front of you catching up on documentaries

I've discovered they rerun every other week

 

[Zugzug]

Before I died, this was me 10000000000000000%, from The Onion.

 

[aura]

Honey... you should go a little light on the Oxy you've got... we don't want another "accident"

Good you're feeling better!
Women and cats always landing on their feet / ankles...

That reminds me of a fascinating documentary last week, apparently when cats fly trough the air with their feet first, their bellies turn into a mini parachute so their falling speed reduces and makes them invincible!

One cat in NY fell from 15th floor and only chipped her corner tooth

Now that you're officially an invalid you'll got good times in front of you catching up on documentaries

I've discovered they rerun every other week

Well my belly sure didn't help.

I ate all those crispy strips and cookies in vain.

Netflix & chill it is.
Minus the chilling part.

I lost my sex appeal on those stairs

 

[Exit]

I won't run away!

I'm starting to believe you

 

[Elmer B Fuddled]

Honey... you should go a little light on the Oxy you've got... we don't want another "accident"

Good you're feeling better!
Women and cats always landing on their feet / ankles...

That reminds me of a fascinating documentary last week, apparently when cats fly trough the air with their feet first, their bellies turn into a mini parachute so their falling speed reduces and makes them invincible!

One cat in NY fell from 15th floor and only chipped her corner tooth

Now that you're officially an invalid you'll got good times in front of you catching up on documentaries

I've discovered they rerun every other week

Some years back after we moved into a house a cat showed up wanting to be fed. The wife put some tuna out and the cat moved in. So after a week or so we took her in to have her neutered. We set up a spot in the bathroom which was quite large. One morning I went in to shower and opened the window, now we are on the second floor which puts the bathroom 20 feet off the ground. I turned just in time to see this cat with stitches jump out the window, flying through the air, landing safely and heading for the bushes.

"Uh oh, Marion, the cat just jumped out the window."

So with that we named her Jumper.

 

[aura]

I'm starting to believe you

Dark jokes. Love them.

Guess I'm stuck with you guys.

 

[Exit]

Dark jokes. Love them.

Guess I'm stuck with you guys.

Just wait until I tell the good folks here what really happened to your foot

Meanwhile check out @Steph1710's new kittens in the cat madness thread!

Perhaps she'll let you borrow them so you kittens can practice free falls together

 

[Elmer B Fuddled]

Dark jokes. Love them.

Guess I'm stuck with you guys.

Yeah yer stuck with a dysfunctional family of tinnitus sufferers, but one thing I know for sure and that is "I'm ok and so am I."

 

[Exit]

Some years back after we moved into a house a cat showed up wanting to be fed. The wife put some tuna out and the cat moved in. So after a week or so we took her in to have her neutered. We set up a spot in the bathroom which was quite large. One morning I went in to shower and opened the window, now we are on the second floor which puts the bathroom 20 feet off the ground. I turned just in time to see this cat with stitches jump out the window, flying through the air, landing safely and heading for the bushes.

"Uh oh, Marion, the cat just jumped out the window."

So with that we named her Jumper.

Crazy cats!

If we could se what goes on inside their heads... scary thought.

And why is it that women and cats seem to share a bond. Spooks me...
After all cats are just tigers in a size XS.

I'm actually a dog person
Or I used to be before my ear issues...
Guess I'm stuck with cat women from now on... :O

Hopefully my cat woman has got a quiet house in the middle of nowhere

 

[aura]

I had a cat... for a couple of weeks.

Didn't quite work out for us...

 

[Exit]

I had a cat... for a couple of weeks.

Didn't quite work out for us...

View attachment 45587

Why? What happened...?

So cute...

 

[aura]

Just wait until I tell the good folks here what really happened to your foot

Meanwhile check out @Steph1710's new kittens in the cat madness thread!

Perhaps she'll let you borrow them so you kittens can practice free falls together

Enough falls for this summer.

Maybe she'll borrow me her glasses so I can see where I'm walking.

Just wait until I tell the good folks here what really happened to your foot

I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

[aura]

Just wait until I tell the good folks here what really happened to your foot

Good folks?
I don't know about that.

In case you forgot, we're all dysfunctional!

 

[aura]

Why? What happened...?

So cute...

Long story short, she liked to play in the litter and all the s**t was everywhere but the cat box. I found it on the floor and in my bed, including my pillow...

Plus, I couldn't sleep because she was crying at the door. Sleeping with her wasn't an option since she was waking me up and play biting and scratching me all the time.

I go insane if I can't sleep, so... I had to give her back to her former owner.

 

[Exit]

Enough falls for this summer.

Maybe she'll borrow me her glasses so I can see where I'm walking.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

That's because you hit your head a little bit, lost conscious and only woke up in the stairs!

Actually we were swinging in leather ropes up in the ceiling with some swingers, one of them an ENT...

He started licking your ears and you got "excited" and slipped because of all the lube...

We just heard a schwup and a thump when you missed @Steph1710 on the bed and fell in the "dogs basket"!

So that's how it happened babe

The ENT felt really bad afterwards and offered you a microsuction in both ears for free!

He assured us it's a very safe procedure albeit a little loud!

 

[aura]

That's because you hit your head a little bit, lost conscious and only woke up in the stairs!

Actually we were swinging in leather ropes up in the ceiling with some swingers, one of them an ENT...

He started licking your ears and you got "excited" and slipped because of all the lube...

We just heard a schwup and a thump when you missed @Steph1710 on the bed and fell in the "dogs basket"!

So that's how it happened babe

The ENT felt really bad afterwards and offered you a microsuction in both ears for free!

He assured us it's a very safe procedure albeit a little loud!

Wow!!
What's this?

50 Shades of "Tell Me More"?

 

[aura]

Actually we were swinging in leather ropes up in the ceiling with some swingers, one of them an ENT...

That totally explains the leather panties I don't remember putting on that morning!

He assured us it's a very safe procedure albeit a little loud!

...and the tinnitus spike afterwards...

 

[aura]

Yeah yer stuck with a dysfunctional family of tinnitus sufferers, but one thing I know for sure and that is "I'm ok and so am I."

And what's wrong with that?

Remember our motto?

We're the ones that put the "fun" in dysfunctional!

 

[Exit]

Wow!!
What's this?

50 Shades of "Tell Me More"?

Next chapter will be @aura at the ENTs office. Co-starring @Steph1710 as flirty secretary, @Diesel of course as the experimental ENT with fancy ideas and @Zugzug as the hearing device promoting audiologist in his new bearish manners.

You might want to establish a safe word before you "get there"

 

[Steph1710]

God guys, @aura & @Exit!

You two are going full force. I, on the other hand, am working to a ridiculous deadline. I have an assessment for work tomorrow and so far I've done fuck all work for it, so I'm now up at midnight frantically uploading documents.

On the subject of cats, I'm not really a fan. I'm a dog lover, BUT these two newbies are super cute. They're very cuddly, and trained already, even though they're just babies.

What's this about @aura falling over me in bed?
What nobody knows is that I pushed her over for stealing my underwear - that's what really happened!

 

[Steph1710]

Next chapter will be @aura at the ENTs office. Co-starring @Steph1710 as flirty secretary, @Diesel of course as the experimental ENT with fancy ideas and @Zugzug as the hearing device promoting audiologist in his new bearish manners.

You might want to establish a safe word before you "get there"

Look - I'm sexually frustrated as it is. I don't need you putting any other fantasies into my already smutty little brain.

I AM TRYING TO WORK!

*finger now hovering over 'private browser' mode*

 

[aura]

Next chapter will be @aura at the ENTs office. Co-starring @Steph1710 as flirty secretary, @Diesel of course as the experimental ENT with fancy ideas and @Zugzug as the hearing device promoting audiologist in his new bearish manners.

You might want to establish a safe word before you "get there"

I'm not really good with passwords and safe words, I keep forgetting them.

How about Worcestershire?
Sounds pretty safe for me.

...not for our tongues though...

 

[Steph1710]

Maybe she'll borrow me her glasses so I can see where I'm walking.

They're all yours! Just please don't break them.

 

[Exit]

Look - I'm sexually frustrated as it is. I don't need you putting any other fantasies into my already smutty little brain.

I AM TRYING TO WORK!

*finger now hovering over 'private browser' mode*

So sorry @Steph1710!

If it makes you feel any better we're frustrated as well

Get on with your work and good luck tomorrow! <3

 

[aot]

I am shocked, shocked!, at all the deliquncy going on in this thread.

...Well, not that shocked.

 

[Steph1710]

So sorry @Steph1710!

If it makes you feel any better we're frustrated as well

Get on with your work and good luck tomorrow! <3

Well it's now 2:30 am here in England. I've just had a shower and sorted my breakfast and clothes out. I have to be up at 7:30am. It's gunna be a fun day at work running on 5 hours sleep... God help me!

Goodnight @Exit.
Thank you for being entertaining as always. I need it atm. Life is stressful. This thread is some nice escapism.

<3

 

[Steph1710]

I am shocked, shocked!, at all the deliquncy going on in this thread.

...Well, not that shocked.

You're definitely not shocked. You know us lot. We're a bunch of filthy animals!! You included!

 

[Tweedleman]

Before I died, this was me 10000000000000000%, from The Onion.

View attachment 45585

Jesus, that gave me a good laugh. I am that stunned oaf basically everywhere I go, lol. Fuck I haven't laughed like that in years.

 

[Elmer B Fuddled]

@aura, It's all true, I was hiding in the closet, watched the whole thing and the leather panties actually belonged to the ENT.