Don't See the Point Anymore to Staying

[Cheza]

Still on iv fluids and iv meds and oxygen but starting responding to the new medication so fingers crossed hes on the road of recovery.

You can tell him that your friends on this forum are thinking of him and hoping for the best outcome. Be sure to take care of yourself, too, during this difficult time.

 

[Zora]

@jdjd09 hey.
I just wanted to say that I can understand you. Lets be honest. your situation fucking sucks! a lot of people here want to sugarcoat it. not me.
. it is fucking hard what you are going throuh. Tinnitus AND hearing loss in your 20. Fucking sucks.

Do not listen to those ignorant people saying "how do blind people or peoplein a wheelchair feel" no. this is torture and it is okay to say that. whoever says that you are whining should get your T and Hearing loss, and then see how it is!!!

and what also sucks is that those idiots didnt give you the right treatment at the right time(prednisone). I am really sorry.
But please, give it some more time. there are so many things that you have to try.
Bur please do not end it now <3

 

[jdjd09]

you can easily get a perfect audiogram because the audiogram only covers half of the hearing range lol

I still have hearing loss even though my audiogram is perfect. my hearing loss is above 8K now

i did hyperbaric 4x already. my tinnitus has gone down about 50%, the hiss is gone and hyperacusis is basically gone.

Borrow money from your folks or friends to get hyperbaric treatment

Congrats again on getting proper treatment...wow. Yes, I have such a functional family to turn to that they will loan me money. This is the same family, who when I told them repeatedly daily about fmy ear issues, to get over it.

The same ones who say if I lose my job I currently work, that the only way I can live with them is vet some job. While I'm in this disfunctional state. And no friend is loank g me thousands of dollars for hyoerbalic treatment.

 

[jdjd09]

JD, I am so sorry that you are going through this, truly. I got T and hearing loss in my 20s - 25 I think if I'm remembering correctly. I said and thought all of the things you're saying and thinking. We are not the same, but I also left my job and coursework for months, contemplated (very seriously) suicide, and just could not see any way forward. I also have other health issues for which I will have to take medication for the rest of my life to manage them.

Even if you are in the AM 101 trail and cannot take anti-anxiety or antidepressant medication, I think it would really be worth your time to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Also, are you able to take a leave of absence from work or school? What you are going through is a severe trauma and it's normal that you don't feel able to handle anything, it's normal that you don't see any way out and that this feels like the last straw, it's normal that no matter how bad off others were and still made it, you feel like you just can't make it. You're going through your own difficult time and comparing doesn't really help when you feel you're barely surviving - I know and so many others here know, too. Just having a real person across from you to talk to can make a big difference and if you need time away to take care of yourself - allow that for yourself - it is normal.

It's hard to hear, but you are, at the end of the day, the only one who can pull yourself up. We are all here to lend a helping hand and share our stories, but you have to see a sliver of light and have just a little faith in our stories to hang on. Time will change things for you, without question. I can't, nor can anyone, guarantee that your hearing loss will improve, or your T will become quieter, but your mindset can absolutely improve and likely will, with time. I know the thought of a hearing aid may be upsetting, but it is amazing what we can adjust to.

Many people face hearing loss, it just happens gradually in a way we notice less - the same as wrinkles appearing on the skin or our vision dims. If we went from 20 to 70 in a day - it would be wildly traumatic and it's hard to see parts of our mortal bodies breaking down beyond repair when we're in our 20s and feel it's too early. It's hard to face our own mortality at an age when we fee like we shouldn't have to yet. All your feeling are totally valid and normal, but you can get better.

Please hang in there, and reach out to me via PM if you wish. I'm not sure where you are in the world, but I have a lot of good resources I found while going through the worst of my recovery.

We're all here for you, and it's okay to whine, just don't give up - time will help and you will not feel this way forever.

@awbw8 , I read your entire lost and thanks for your response.

Can I ask how much hearing loss you had? Was it in one ear or both? Did you get treatment for it?

I can't handle this honestly. I'm currently ine the USA. I also asked about hearing aids but one person at a store said if mainly helps those who have 60db loss of greater. Wasn't sure if would help me

What resources do you have that could help me? Feel free to PM me back. I really need help ;/. I can't do this anymore.

 

[jdjd09]

@jdjd09 hey.
I just wanted to say that I can understand you. Lets be honest. your situation fucking sucks! a lot of people here want to sugarcoat it. not me.
. it is fucking hard what you are going throuh. Tinnitus AND hearing loss in your 20. Fucking sucks.

Do not listen to those ignorant people saying "how do blind people or peoplein a wheelchair feel" no. this is torture and it is okay to say that. whoever says that you are whining should get your T and Hearing loss, and then see how it is!!!

and what also sucks is that those idiots didnt give you the right treatment at the right time(prednisone). I am really sorry.
But please, give it some more time. there are so many things that you have to try.
Bur please do not end it now <3

There is not much more I could try besides the steriods and its too late. All other treatments are experimental and only people in USA with lots of time and money can afford them. I have neither.

Life shut down from all this. All I can get in response from anyone is sorry. That is it. No one can help me.

I appreciate your response but I'm more depressed than ever honestly. I'm just counting down the days until I die at this point. I find no happiness in life, music, talking anymore to others, etc.. Life's over for me.

 

[Aussie Lea]

Life shut down from all this. All I can get in response from anyone is sorry. That is it. No one can help me.

What do you expect? Tinnitus is incurable. You either learn to live with it, or you don't.

Constantly crying about how you can no longer deal with it is not going to help you. You have to stop visiting this site and start doing something else.

Right now you are in a max self-pity mode. I've been there too.

 

[Nick Pyzik]

There is not much more I could try besides the steriods and its too late. All other treatments are experimental and only people in USA with lots of time and money can afford them. I have neither.

Life shut down from all this. All I can get in response from anyone is sorry. That is it. No one can help me.

I appreciate your response but I'm more depressed than ever honestly. I'm just counting down the days until I die at this point. I find no happiness in life, music, talking anymore to others, etc.. Life's over for me.

I've done a little more than say "sorry". I'm having the same exact issues as you and probably even worse besides actually losing hair cells.....but the point is you need to appreciate life no matter what happens and just keep moving forward no matter how you feel. You never know what the future holds for you even if you see nothing in it.

I could easily end my life right now because nothing I'm experiencing now can compare to what things were before. I've literally had to reorganize my lifestyle. I'm not understood by a lot of people on here, I'm not understood by Medical Doctors, I'm not understood by my friends, and even my parents barely understand me. They at least support me somewhat. I'm seriously alone in my life even though I'm surrounded by people. I'm alone because no one understands what I have to deal with everyday now and how great my life was before all this happened.

All I see you looking for are answers and sympathy from people on here. Man up and keep moving forward in life. There's no reason to end your life. I really don't think you were happy even before this all happened. I know what happiness is and it's my goal in life now to try and get back to that point no matter what happens.

 

[Zora]

yup. the USA sucks. worst 1st world country to live in. disfunctional like you said. here in Germany the state cares for us.
americans are so fucking stupid. obama could have helped you but no....no...you rather keep ur guns and watch children killing each other.

 

[Telis]

yup. the USA sucks. worst 1st world country to live in. disfunctional like you said. here in Germany the state cares for us.
americans are so fucking stupid. obama could have helped you but no....no...you rather keep ur guns and watch children killing each other.

Why don't you take your gun control agenda and political views somewhere else. This is a tinnitus support forum.

 

[Bobby B]

Guns don't kill people do ...

This being said guns certainly give Tinnitus and hearing loss so maybe that would be added to the no gun agenda

 

[Sebastians]

An idiot with a gun gave me T, i'm more of a sword-fighting guy myself

 

[Bobby B]

All Guns should be fitted with silencers ! That's the agenda

 

[Bobby B]

 

[Gavs]

Hello,
I feel the same as you i have hearing loss and tinituses in both ears. I loved movies music, I have back problems now. I loved gym and working out. I loved my life and now I'm different. My life has changed and gone from a person who had everything and now have nothing. Keep fighting. I'm going to get hearing aids today and cbt for my depression and anxiety. Look at my pic and you can tell I was vain and healthy. I'm still not married and have no kids are 40. Only the strong survive and you have to have hope. I cry everyday day but believe things have to get better.

 

[Bobby B]

Look at the bright side though - escaping kids and marriage isn't necessarily a bad thing

 

[jdjd09]

What do you expect? Tinnitus is incurable. You either learn to live with it, or you don't.

Constantly crying about how you can no longer deal with it is not going to help you. You have to stop visiting this site and start doing something else.

Right now you are in a max self-pity mode. I've been there too.

Do you have the severe version of tinnitus with hearing loss? I don't think many of you understand how insane tinnitus is with hearing loss. Not saying some on here don't, but from reading many posts on here I DINT think the majority are experiencing the severe disabling version of it.

And yes, that sounds arrogant. But unfortunately I think it needs to be said.

 

[jdjd09]

yup. the USA sucks. worst 1st world country to live in. disfunctional like you said. here in Germany the state cares for us.
americans are so fucking stupid. obama could have helped you but no....no...you rather keep ur guns and watch children killing each other.

Can we seriously keep politics out of this thread? Is it going to take the crazy person in the thread to really say that?

 

[jdjd09]

Hello,
I feel the same as you i have hearing loss and tinituses in both ears. I loved movies music, I have back problems now. I loved gym and working out. I loved my life and now I'm different. My life has changed and gone from a person who had everything and now have nothing. Keep fighting. I'm going to get hearing aids today and cbt for my depression and anxiety. Look at my pic and you can tell I was vain and healthy. I'm still not married and have no kids are 40. Only the strong survive and you have to have hope. I cry everyday day but believe things have to get better.

Honestly the what is the point? Also how much hearing loss do you have? What frequencies and decibels?

My life is shutting down, I'm sitting on doctor attempting to gets meds that the er won't prescribe. I probably need to leave the drug trial as anxiety is through the roof.

 

[jdjd09]

Look at the bright side though - escaping kids and marriage isn't necessarily a bad thing

Everyone says this. I can go on a cancer support thread. They will do the same thing. "At least you don't have this cancer". Or at least your still this or that.

I just can't buy this. My life is over and no one will help me. I went to the doctor to get meds because I need to drop out of trials. I can't take this anymore. But they won't prescribe a strong anti anxiety med. They say that I have to see psychiatrist. Multiple doctors said this, I can't get help.

No one will help me.

 

[Carlos1]

Everyone says this. I can go on a cancer support thread. They will do the same thing. "At least you don't have this cancer". Or at least your still this or that.

I just can't buy this. My life is over and no one will help me. I went to the doctor to get meds because I need to drop out of trials. I can't take this anymore. But they won't prescribe a strong anti anxiety med. They say that I have to see psychiatrist. Multiple doctors said this, I can't get help.

No one will help me.

@jdjd09 jd trying taking some time even tho you are at your wits end and help someone else on this forum.
Take the time read other posters posts and help them and in turn you just might be helping yourself in the advice you give to others.
Hang in there

 

[awbw8]

Everyone says this. I can go on a cancer support thread. They will do the same thing. "At least you don't have this cancer". Or at least your still this or that.

I just can't buy this. My life is over and no one will help me. I went to the doctor to get meds because I need to drop out of trials. I can't take this anymore. But they won't prescribe a strong anti anxiety med. They say that I have to see psychiatrist. Multiple doctors said this, I can't get help.

No one will help me.

Hi JD,

I pm'd you, so we can chat there as well - but you should go see a psychiatrist - they are MD doctors and they will spend at least 45 mintues talking with you along with being able to prescribe the appropriate medication. My psychiatrist absolutely saved me - he helped me manage the anxiety and sleeplessness. They can be wonderful, especially when you find the right one.

 

[Sailboardman]

yup. the USA sucks. worst 1st world country to live in. disfunctional like you said. here in Germany the state cares for us.
americans are so fucking stupid. obama could have helped you but no....no...you rather keep ur guns and watch children killing each other.

I live in the US and I'm certainly not stupid! Your generalizations about people here, are way off. I hope you're not naive enough, to think no one in Germany has a gun and no one has been killed by a gun in your country.

You should visit the US, meet some people here and then make your judgements, based on facts and experiences. We really don't wear gunbelts and walk into saloons, shooting the place up. We don't live in a "Wild West" movie.

There will always be lunatics with guns, in every country doing devious things. You can't stop it. Just as much as, you can't stop terrorism. The world is filled with bad people. However, that doesn't make us all bad.

I have never been to Germany, therefore, would never make such an insolent and unfounded statement about it's people, as you have, about the people in the US. Shame on you Zora!

 

[Nick Pyzik]

Everyone says this. I can go on a cancer support thread. They will do the same thing. "At least you don't have this cancer". Or at least your still this or that.

I just can't buy this. My life is over and no one will help me. I went to the doctor to get meds because I need to drop out of trials. I can't take this anymore. But they won't prescribe a strong anti anxiety med. They say that I have to see psychiatrist. Multiple doctors said this, I can't get help.

No one will help me.

Let me ask you this, what do you want to get out of this site that will satisfy you?

 

[Zora]

@Sailboardman I have been to the US. I made my experience. i Do NOT think all americans are lunatics with guns. Not at all. Actually a lot of my friends are american. I was talking about the government. NOT a generalizatiin about us citizens.
I meant disfunctional concerning the health system, if it cannot help people like @jdjd09 . Germany does help.
I didnt want to start a political discussion. It just makes me angry and frustrated to see that other people are suffering. when he would be living in my country, due to our health system, they would have helped him.
Thats all. And by the way I wasnt the one who said USA is disfunctional.
I am sorry it was too aggressive, like I said I just wish they would have helped him, and would also help him now.

 

[jdjd09]

Hi JD,

I pm'd you, so we can chat there as well - but you should go see a psychiatrist - they are MD doctors and they will spend at least 45 mintues talking with you along with being able to prescribe the appropriate medication. My psychiatrist absolutely saved me - he helped me manage the anxiety and sleeplessness. They can be wonderful, especially when you find the right one.

Ok I will read over it. I may be delayed in responding though because I'm somehow working...not sure how long.

 

[jdjd09]

Let me ask you this, what do you want to get out of this site that will satisfy you?

What would I want? A good time frame when to expect a cure for the hearing loss. Otherwise some hope that I haven't found yet. Some people have helped though so far.

Everyday is hell. No doctor will help me. I've never seen so many doctors in two months in my life. None helped me when I needed it. I was misguided and now I'm left with MEASURABLE hearing loss. I realize people on here want to say they have hearing loss but doesn't register on hearing loss audiograms.

While I'm sure the higher hearing loss can effect people, I had no clue how bad hearing loss could get until recently. Even before I got my audiogram done.

I'm sorry, but life with ringing and can't enjoy balanced music anymore. Screw this. The 5 senses is how people experience the world. You can correct vision. Sure tasting or smell loss may not get corrected , by one can move on with that somewhat. Hearing is the one thing most everyone requires to communicate at work or listen to music or movies etc. This isn't living anymore. I'm not experiencing the world anymore.

We can point to extremes like deaf and blind people loving happy lives and good for them. Bit don't kid yourself that they don't want one of those senses if given the chance. I can't take this frankly anymore. Life is miserable at this point.

 

[Blackbird26]

@jdjd09 I brought up the drafted boys for a reason...You completely miss my point and why I posted specifically about Vietnam Vets. Again, watch the docu and maybe you will find some inspiration.

You have no control what is gonna happen to you in life but it's how you decide to proceed that counts. (and you can) Just like I've had to and my situation is extremely difficult! !!!!, and all the others here. At this point what else is there to say? I wish you peace.

 

[Blackbird26]

I can't qoute single sentences with ny damn phone and its annoying. I have a deaf friend BOTH ears, has T and leads a VERY happy & fufilling life. Would he like his hearing back? Yea sure! but it isnt gonna happen and he still leads a great life, in fact 100% better than mine! He feels bad for MY situation! You can move on, or not..but it is possible!

 

[Nick Pyzik]

What would I want? A good time frame when to expect a cure for the hearing loss. Otherwise some hope that I haven't found yet. Some people have helped though so far.

Everyday is hell. No doctor will help me. I've never seen so many doctors in two months in my life. None helped me when I needed it. I was misguided and now I'm left with MEASURABLE hearing loss. I realize people on here want to say they have hearing loss but doesn't register on hearing loss audiograms.

While I'm sure the higher hearing loss can effect people, I had no clue how bad hearing loss could get until recently. Even before I got my audiogram done.

I'm sorry, but life with ringing and can't enjoy balanced music anymore. Screw this. The 5 senses is how people experience the world. You can correct vision. Sure tasting or smell loss may not get corrected , by one can move on with that somewhat. Hearing is the one thing most everyone requires to communicate at work or listen to music or movies etc. This isn't living anymore. I'm not experiencing the world anymore.

We can point to extremes like deaf and blind people loving happy lives and good for them. Bit don't kid yourself that they don't want one of those senses if given the chance. I can't take this frankly anymore. Life is miserable at this point.

I understand your pain completely. I'm going through as much trouble as you are in life right now. But sooner or later you have to accept what's going on and continue on in life with what is available for you. It was extremely difficult for me to accept what happened. Things will not be as enjoyable now as they were before everything changed for, but it's now your job in life to do what you can to somehow get you back to that level of enjoyment and satisfaction.

A diet change, exercise, supplementation, positive thinking, new hobbies, and in the end if needed antidepressants will all allow you to continue on in life and help you with your patience until a treatment for your hair cell or auditory nerve fiber damage comes out.

But trust me on my word. Life is not going to be easy anymore. If you appreciate your life you will accept what happened and try your best to move on. If you want to try and speed up the process of a cure being developed for hearing, I'd advise you to do whatever you can to support what's being done or research what you can on your own.
You're going to be okay!

Could you summarize or make bullet points of all the issues/symptoms that are now stemming from your hearing loss?

 

[jdjd09]

-Ringing that is heard over EVERYTHING. Not just when it's semi quiet like many have hear. I hear it over everything. There is zero maskjng.
-The uneven hearing that I truly don't think people without measurable hearing loss in one ear and ok hearing in the other can appreciate. It'd screws with everything. It's one thing for many on hear to complain about some lower quality in sound as before. It's another to where you have to literally offset you car or headset radio to hear some balance, but it'd not the same.
-I can't focus at all. At my work or studying. I literally just stare at screen at work and just hope to be somewhat productive.
-I dont listen to music or Tv shows anymore like I always did. I have zero idea what is going on around me anymore.
-no one is helping me. I went to multiple doctors and they won't prescribe me a strong anti anxiety pill until I see a psychiatrist. Which won't be for another month.
-I prob got kicked out of am101 trials at this point because missed appointment last week cause I shut down and don't even know what to do anymore. Prob should just take meds and get out of trial at this point . but no one will prescribe any real medication at this point.