How to Be with Someone Having Tinnitus?
- Thread starter Christophe_85
- Start date
Member
- Jun 6, 2013
- 1,373
- Tinnitus Since
- January 2002
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Dental Surgery
- Mar 1, 2018
- 871
- Tinnitus Since
- birth/ recent spike 2/2018
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Born with ETD, several acoustic traumas, most recently ETD
No that's not. That's not at all an appropriate dystinction to draw at all. I'm extremely introverted. You are a bill-trovert. Happiness for introverts vs extroverts is not a fully designed concept that is agreed upon. Maybe you meant to discuss the feeling of being recharged. But that's not perinent.
I guess this is one of the virtues of poverty. Two broke people can't sue each other. I am divorced and when my ex and I got the divorce, neither of us had a party. It hurt us both.
I am also childless by choice. I always knew that I never wanted to become a mother. This attitude seems to be much more acceptable in men. No one really understands a woman not wanting children.
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
On the contrary @SugarMagnolia Perhaps because I never wanted children I can understand the reasons why a woman wouldn't want them. A good friend of mine is adamant that she never wants children.
I think that is the best way if you both have nothing. There is no way that I want to lose my property that I worked so long and hard for. To have a judge tell me to come out of my own home.
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
- Mar 1, 2018
- 871
- Tinnitus Since
- birth/ recent spike 2/2018
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Born with ETD, several acoustic traumas, most recently ETD
Well for starters they are entirely opposite. My son is pretty much the most amazing person to be around. I have taken him across the world, climbed mountains, we go out to eat. It's truly wonderful. I can do anything with him, that you could do without, and more. Because I'm sharing the experience with the thing I love most in this world.
T is the opposite.
Isn't this obvious? I guess since you don't have children, you can't possibly comment, other than to say "I haven't been there, so I don't know".
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
I had a chance to contemplate T, before I got it, and it (and my reaction to it) ended up being exactly what I had imagined it to be.
- Mar 1, 2018
- 871
- Tinnitus Since
- birth/ recent spike 2/2018
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Born with ETD, several acoustic traumas, most recently ETD
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
I know myself very well, and I don't need to actually experience something (e.g., parenting) to know how it would make me feel.
Emperor-Drax
Member
- Jun 14, 2018
- 332
- 39
- Tinnitus Since
- 10/06/2018
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Loud bang on metal with a mallet
If I was with a woman with tinnitus, I'd be sure to be gentle with her, as I'd mutually hope she'd be gentle with me!
I don't think it makes sense to bar people who haven't experienced something from talking about it: see here.
I also find children awesome, but I'm sure there are some types of people who aren't compatible with them and who would not derive the same joy as me. Not a one size fits all, and clearly there are some I'd rather not see with children. In particular, those who do not want them should not be "convinced to have them": it sounds like a recipe for disaster.
- Jun 6, 2013
- 1,373
- Tinnitus Since
- January 2002
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Dental Surgery
@SugarMagnolia I am the same regarding having children. For some reason it is not a priority for my life. I think it becoming more of the norm now though. But it always seems to be the first question that is asked in social settings.
Sorry about your divorce and financial situation.
- Jun 6, 2013
- 1,373
- Tinnitus Since
- January 2002
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Dental Surgery
@Emperor-Drax that is a great mind set to have. And I am hoping @Christophe_85 will have the same thought.
And yep, it is possible to find that "someone".
As you can read some people are okay with being single and or alone and do not need or want relationships. And that choice is okay also. But you do not have to force yourself to be alone out of fear if you are one who likes relationships.
I agree Suga, women are seen to be more nurturing overall or can be socialised to be from what I've read anyway and therefore should reproduce. If they don't they are seen as "not normal" This doesn't mean they aren't loving, and caring just that they do not wish to have kids and this can be for so many reasons. It's sad that society still sees this as a negative or that you must have something wrong with you. Some people should never reproduce.... like never ever but they still do and the poor children end up paying the consequence from birth.
Ok but once you told me that you don't need any friends or family, and of course any relationships with a woman...
You know that this is not very "normal" as a human being right ?
I got Tinnitus at 27 and now I am 28...I didnt even have a chance to live
I got it at 29 just 2 weeks before my 30 years old birthday... What a gift from life !
Did you have a life full of happinness before getting T ?
Even if this seems to be less "dramatic" nowadays than before, women who don't want to have children are still considered as "strange women" or "women with problems" !
I know bunch of women who don't have kids... But yes there are not the majority for sure !
In fact, I would like not to need relationships in my life... Even before getting T !
But I cannot fight against my desire to share tenderness, sex and other things with women...
Tinnitus made the whole point much more complicated !
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
Surely but I cannot ignore my needs...
I tried and this is worse... Too much frustration going on !
- Mar 1, 2018
- 871
- Tinnitus Since
- birth/ recent spike 2/2018
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Born with ETD, several acoustic traumas, most recently ETD
Sure I agree as a general concept. But I feel there are things that extend beyond the boundaries of our imagination. If I had a dollar for every time some one said "I wish ENTs, and doctors, and researchers experienced T".
I have no doubt that people know they would not enjoy being a parent. And they know that.
However, I guess I feel, with good reason, that our imagination can only capture so much. Also, there is a reason that our gene expression varies (G by E) with lived experience and not imagination.
Of course maybe my imagination is limited.
But, we should all be allowed to express our views, regardless of our lived experience. That is a fundamental right in my opinion.
So, I agree??
I'm rambling and was a little thrown off by bill's psychopathic post saying he would find a way to convince his hypothetical children to kill themselves. That's really, really messed up.
I had an amazingggggg life before this. You know I woke up every morning and thanked god for such a wonderful life. Now it is utter crap. You have to make peace that you will be single and dealing with this life sucking tinnitus. I made peace with the fact that I pissed my life away completely.
Thank you for your message !
Actually I had 2 small relationships since I have T and H and at the beginning (1st month) they try to be cooperative and not too loud. They asked me if the TV was not too loud and if the different places where we went out were ok for me...
But quite fast after this very short period, it is like they lost their patience... And always told me that they didn't hear enough the sound of the TV, or wanted to go in loud places like concerts, loud bars, night clubs and so on...
At my age (31 years old), women want to have fun and party ! Which I totally understand !
Even those who are more quiet like per example going to the Movies, which I cannot do anymore...
Honestly I really don't know how it can be possible without frustration from a woman !
Sorry for my negativity but it seems to be helpless...
People go clubbing at that age? clubbing is for people who are 18-28.....after that its more quiet life. I never liked clubbing or concerts even before T.
In fact, I would like not to need relationships in my life... Even before getting T !
But I cannot fight against my desire to share tenderness, sex and other things with women...
Tinnitus made the whole point much more complicated !
If your gonna do it with her just wear (ear) protection and you will be fine.
Have you really made peace with that ???
Sorry to say it to you but you don't seem to be serene... No offense !
To me, life was already not really ok before getting my T and H...
But clearly this condition doesn't help for having good thoughts for the future !
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