What's a "light eather" ?
How do I change my mentality, and how do you know that I'm even capable of doing so?
A light eater is a person who live by not eating anything just getting the needed elements from the sun (of course this is impossible) But if you keep telling that one day you will run out of money then you should think about this. Or travel to Thailand and join Jon Jandai. He say that the "civilized" society is unfair, because it makes life more harder instead of making it easier. So he lives in his own created society. No taxes, no nothing, but everyone has a house and food to eat. They are a self-sufficient society it`s a peaceful little place to live.
How do I know that if you are capable to change or not? It`s simple...because everyone is capable to do so. The problem with your mentality is that you fitfully want to cure yourself (I know everybody wants a cure) but there is a very dark spot in this way of thinking, because you wake up every day that "okay...I need to cure this or my live will be over" and you hit bed at the same day that "I failed, my life is over" next day again, and again and again with a never ending cycle. Days, weeks, months just pass with this way of thinking, but because you have failed in every day, and you just hit bed with the same sentence in your head that "I failed, my life oi over" your mood will be darker and darker with every single day, until a point where you will jump from a cliff if you have the bravery to do it.
The very hard part is to forget this way of thinking, this really bad habit and change it to something else. If you keep searching for a cure you will never ever accept your let`s say state or your condition. A step to habituate to things is to accept that this is the new "normal". I know this is really really hard...but it can be done, believe me. There is no universally accepted method for this, you need to find your own way that fits you the most. But if you are keep telling that my life is over, my life is over...then you just call up fate and one day he will find you and that will be my friend the point where your life will be truly over and not today. Today you can change the world, tomorrow who knows if you will have the chance or not. Live in the presence and don`t go such distances like what will happen when my parents will be no more etc. It`s just unnecessary stress what is really bad in your current condition.
What you should do is to stop taking meds, no pills to let your body habituates to a certain feeling. Ohooo it will be though, but you must do it, because every single day when you take on pill it`s like a footnote for you what reminds you every day that "I`m not normal".
It`s a huuuuge cliché, but it`s true...
No pain, no gain.
PS. No, you are not a shaolin monk, but they started also from the bottom...they didn`t born like shaolin monks.
PS2. You have to much spare time to think about stupid and unnecessary things. Do something...so your mind could focus on something else.
For example. yesterday I went to bowling with my colleagues. Even though I have H, I was so focused on the game that when we finished I`ve just realized that I barely felt any pain, but when this thought ran into my mind about my H after the next hit I felt immediate pain, because I started to fear and think about H constantly.
PS3. It`s a very very weird example, but let`s take those terrorist guys out there (it`s a common topic nowdays) or the japan kamikazes. They are believe and believed in something so strong that they easily took their own life in the name of that belief. Just imagine if you could reach this state of belief that you are normal and life is good...and actually they are the examples that humans could reach very high states in this field.