Or trying Rivotril made by Roche. Can be ordered online, but i think you need a prescription. Way easier to obtain and way safer than Trobalt, which gives visual snow/visual floaters for life and other problems, and i heard from people that took trobalt that it only gives you a break: T resumes after you stop it, and you cannot take it forever. Rivotril can be taken for years.
Problem with Rivotril is that, being a benzo, if you do not withdraw from it carefully, using Diazepam, the withdrawal itself can give you T. But after a course of Rivotril, which will lower your T and even give you times with zero T, if you are very careful and respect the protocol of withdrawing for it, when you consider that time for this came, you may get away with witdrawing from it without consequences.
Better beginning Roche Rivotril (2mg, the most, at night time, because it may make you sleepy) than having such bad T and considering suicide, that's my opinion.
God help you!
PS i tried two other brands of Clonazepam, the active substance in Rivotril , from Poland and Cyprus, and they were such crap, made me sick, no benefits, just terrible side effects.
I have not tried the Klonopin brand of Clonazepam, available in US. May be good or bad, i do not know.
But as long as there is Clonazepam made by Roche (known as Rivotril), nobody should suffer like that and think about suicide. Only problem with Rivotril is that is forbidden for people with liver problems. I had liver problems before T, still took Rivotril, and prolonged my life with 8 years. I do not even want to talk about how bad i was with my T before learning about Rivotril (from 2 ENTs) (it was getting worse and worse, without any exposure to "loud sounds", pure hell, not to mention the few periods of times when i went through another hell, named "hyperacusis").
Good luck!