Suicidal

[twa]

I know people that live an unhealthy lifestyle and yet they are much more healthy than me. I've got a close friend that smoke 3 packs a day and is healthy as a horse. It's frustrating.

It will catch up to them eventually. Youth is very forgiving, but over time bad habits will come to light.

 

[katri]

It's okay to let it out. Sleep is one of the few things that is extremely treatable -- even maybe just some light sleep aids for a little bit to get back on track.

You think sleep is easily treatable? My tinnitus cuts through nearly everything right now. It feels a bit deafening how loud it is.

 

[katri]

@ajc well how do I cope? At least for now?

 

[Pulsing Ear]

It will catch up to them eventually. Youth is very forgiving, but over time bad habits will come to light.

I'm 51 years old and he is 52! Been smoking since he went to college at age 18. His whole family are smokers. His grandfather smoked like a chimney and died in his 80s.

I think so much in life boils down to genetics.

 

[Drachen]

I think so much in life boils down to genetics.

There's probably a lot to this. It's funny you bring up the mention of the smokers living long, as I read elsewhere on this forum an analogy of how many concertgoers and such don't develop tinnitus as some smokers don't get lung cancer.

While I don't wish either of these conditions on anyway, you've got to admit, life can be inconsistent.

 

[Shizune]

This condition puts you at a crossroads when it comes to finally "pulling the trigger". Do you continue to live through hell, or do you take the chance, risk failing, and end up becoming worse and more disabled in the process.

I slipped up a bit. I could feel my tinnitus getting louder as it happened. I thought "well, maybe not today". It's very cruel. And surviving and being found, being sent away with hyperacusis? You're toast. That's really what's keeping me here.

 

[LukeYoung]

You think sleep is easily treatable? My tinnitus cuts through nearly everything right now. It feels a bit deafening how loud it is.

There are sleeping aids that you may take to get you back on track.

I remember when I was barely sleeping, barely eating, barely living. I just wanted it all to stop.

But getting a good night's sleep was half the battle. Look into some sleeping aids in the short term. Seek some more medical guidance in the form of support groups or something like that might also help. Sound therapy even...

Don't give up the good fight

 

[Zugzug]

My life did a complete 180 and all my old memories are haunting me

Amen to that. I bounce between being thankful that I lived a good life and sad that the quality is simply over.

 

[MBH]

@katri Sleep is a big one.

I achieved a good night's rest by turning on a sound machine, having a small water fountain, wearing an eye mask, taking 2 Tylenol PM, and taking a shower to calm down.

I keep to the same routine. Once you sleep, it will help you a lot.

In the beginning my tinnitus changed, but now not so much.

 

[Daniel Lion]

I'm with you on both fronts. My problem is incurable and progressive. I'm also scared of being all alone after hearing regeneration. Don't get me wrong, I would certainly choose curing others over "misery loves company," but it's an honest and sad realization.

You won't be alone Zugzug, I am not going anywhere.

Lifers.

Wishing you the best and as always everybody who finds themselves here.

 

[Chinmoku]

You think sleep is easily treatable? My tinnitus cuts through nearly everything right now. It feels a bit deafening how loud it is.

I'm sorry you are struggling too. Mine is screaming at me through everything 24/7. I'm also trying to help sleep. There is a new sleep medication called Dayvigo, it is not gabaergic so hopefully it should not affect tinnitus negatively once discontinued. It should be available in the US, it is not yet available in the UK unfortunately. It's probably worth asking your doctor. Failing that, you could try melatonin if you haven't done so already. Some people take anti-histamines. I would say resort to Z-drugs or benzos only as a very last resort as they may create dependence and may worsen tinnitus later on, but talk to your doctor in any case. I hope you can sort this out.

 

[katri]

I'm sorry you are struggling too. Mine is screaming at me through everything 24/7. I'm also trying to help sleep. There is a new sleep medication called Dayvigo, it is not gabaergic so hopefully it should not affect tinnitus negatively once discontinued. It should be available in the US, it is not yet available in the UK unfortunately. It's probably worth asking your doctor. Failing that, you could try melatonin if you haven't done so already. Some people take anti-histamines. I would say resort to Z-drugs or benzos only as a very last resort as they may create dependence and may worsen tinnitus later on, but talk to your doctor in any case. I hope you can sort this out.

Mine refused to stabilize. It's getting louder and louder by the hour. It's reaching new heights and scaring the hell out of me.

 

[Daniel Lion]

Mine refused to stabilize. It's getting louder and louder by the hour. It's reaching new heights and scaring the hell out of me.

Hi Katri,

I know you're freaking out and for good reason. It's scary as hell.
Having been there myself... the first thing to do is calm down your Nervous System which is in overdrive.

How to calm down, how to sleep?

When this shit first stuck me down I leaned on drugs to help me calm down and sleep.
I no longer take medications or vitamins but am not adverse to them in the future and many of my friends and family do take medications, for their heart, prostate, and mental well being. I am in a different place and have some holistic tools I use. I understand your father's attitude about drugs but he has not experienced what you're going through.

If I were you, I would go to your doctor or the ER if necessary and explain your hearing trauma and subsequent loud intrusive tinnitus. I definitely would try and get a Benzo, Valium, Clonazepam etc. Just leaning on them for a few weeks or months is fine. You can taper off. Trazodone is an antipsychotic I took 1 pill for ten days after going to an ER, it knocked me out for 4 hours a night. Never taken it since.

From my personal experience I can honestly say that the drugs helped me until I could do it on my own.

Regardless if you decide to get some help from medications these are things that helped and help me...

Communicating with my loved ones.
Eating well.
Exercise.
Heat e.g. hot baths, saunas, steam baths, compresses
Massage
Comfortable bed with heavy blanket... not sleeping on the bathroom floor.
Background noise that you like... guided meditations and sleep, free from YouTube.

According to this forum Magnesium, NAC, Garlic and Turmeric have helped some people.

I don't usually pray in the conventional sense, but I heard your call and prayed for you last night.
I am praying for you now hoping that when you slowly calm down this spike will calm down as well.

Sincerely,
Daniel

 

[Pulsing Ear]

Exercise helps me a lot!

 

[katri]

Has anyone else dealt with constant increases in the sound of their tinnitus the way I have? In any way at all? Did it stabilize at any point?

This is the 3rd day of it doing this and I'm not sure what to do. My ears will go back to how loud they used to be before I feel a sensation in my ear and it increases dramatically in volume. It happens on both sides and it's causing me so much grief as of this moment. I keep telling myself I'll get better but my ears go from better to worse, better to worse. The good periods only last a few minutes but I try not to over check when this happens because that can be bad for my mental health as well.

 

[Chinmoku]

Mine refused to stabilize. It's getting louder and louder by the hour. It's reaching new heights and scaring the hell out of me.

I sympathise, mine has been worsening from day one. It will have to stop and finally start reverting for both of us at some point, hopefully. Otherwise I don't know what I'll do. I'm already in an extremely dark place. Let's hope it changes. In any case sleep is important

 

[Zugzug]

You won't be alone Zugzug, I am not going anywhere.

Lifers.

Wishing you the best and as always everybody who finds themselves here.

Thank you, D. I am sorry I said that in a moment of despair. I hope everyone gets better and gets the f*ck off the forum. I hope I can get better and, for the most part, get the f*ck off the forum. Then I can get a job and donate money and become an advocate.

 

[Pulsing Ear]

Has anyone else dealt with constant increases in the sound of their tinnitus the way I have? In any way at all? Did it stabilize at any point?

This is the 3rd day of it doing this and I'm not sure what to do. My ears will go back to how loud they used to be before I feel a sensation in my ear and it increases dramatically in volume. It happens on both sides and it's causing me so much grief as of this moment. I keep telling myself I'll get better but my ears go from better to worse, better to worse. The good periods only last a few minutes but I try not to over check when this happens because that can be bad for my mental health as well.

My tinnitus seems to fluctuate in volume some during the day. I'm having another problem in my ear in addition to tinnitus. I now have stapedial myoclonus in my left ear, and when it flares up it seems to make my tinnitus a lot louder in that one ear. It is louder all day now too, and loud enough that I can no longer hear my right ear ring. The doctor told me that the myoclonus in most cases resolves on its own and I am hoping that my tinnitus will decrease back to the level it was before. I think a lot of us have the same experience as you. You are not alone. Try not to stress out too much over it. It can be really hard. Last night I was feeling like shit because mine was so loud and thumping in my head. I had trouble even eating dinner. Now today the myoclonus is gone and the ringing level is lower.

How long have you been suffering from tinnitus? Do you know what brought yours on? Try exercise if you haven't already. It makes my tinnitus decrease in volume and helps to stop my other problem. Doing things like listen to music and watch tv helps me to forget about the tinnitus because it drowns out the ringing.

 

[__nico__]

I just want to live a normal life

 

[katri]

I sympathise, mine has been worsening from day one. It will have to stop and finally start reverting for both of us at some point, hopefully. Otherwise I don't know what I'll do. I'm already in an extremely dark place. Let's hope it changes. In any case sleep is important

How loud is your tinnitus? How does it feel? How often does it get worse? Just a few questions.

Mine is loud to the point where I feel like someone is screaming at me if I lie my head down or as if there's this thing that engulfs everything around me. My ears feel raw and stuffy every time it increases more. It probably gets worse every 30 mins to an hour for me.

 

[Zugzug]

How loud is your tinnitus? How does it feel? How often does it get worse? Just a few questions.

Mine is loud to the point where I feel like someone is screaming at me if I lie my head down or as if there's this thing that engulfs everything around me. My ears feel raw and stuffy every time it increases more. It probably gets worse every 30 mins to an hour for me.

This may have been mentioned, but I'm going to double down, as I see so many things for you to consider trying:

• Anything to get good sleep for a week. Magnesium glycinate and Melatonin help a surprising amount. Mirtazapine and Trazodone also knock people out. If you want an easy over-the-counter, there are plenty, like Zzzquil.
• A week or two of Prednisone.
• A few weeks of things like NAC, Curcumin, Green tea, etc.
• A few weeks of benzos (which may be able to replace some of the sleep aids mentioned above). This can help you sleep and calm down.
• Meditation, deep breathing, yoga.

There are so many options, and most likely, it will at least be improved within a few weeks to months.

 

[Chinmoku]

How loud is your tinnitus? How does it feel? How often does it get worse? Just a few questions.

Mine is loud to the point where I feel like someone is screaming at me if I lie my head down or as if there's this thing that engulfs everything around me. My ears feel raw and stuffy every time it increases more. It probably gets worse every 30 mins to an hour for me.

I stopped measuring it. I can hear it everywhere, inside an aircraft, on a busy road, loud restaurant, shower. It's a super-high pitched needle of sound with some static. It kept worsening steadily but not by the hour.

Are you on any medication? I remember one member on a medication whose tinnitus started increasing all the time.

 

[katri]

I stopped measuring it. I can hear it everywhere, inside an aircraft, on a busy road, loud restaurant, shower. It's a super-high pitched needle of sound with some static. It kept worsening steadily but not by the hour.

Are you on any medication? I remember one member on a medication whose tinnitus started increasing all the time.

Just taking a load of Melatonin and an allergy pill every night. I've never had spikes before from anything so I'm not sure. But I will take excessive amounts of Melatonin just to sleep because the increases literally tear me up. I'm mostly a zombie during the day but my family doesn't make me feel ashamed of crying.

My sound changes a lot and constantly. It's been head tinnitus, tonal tinnitus, etc. It sounds like glass is repeatedly being broken but I can find ways to distract me during the day. I'm not sure why my body waited weeks to go through this but I'll have to deal. I'm going to write a long list of healthy obsessions I can turn to. Right now it's like a loud power drill that's offering me absolutely no landline.

 

[Kriszti]

Just taking a load of Melatonin and an allergy pill every night. I've never had spikes before from anything so I'm not sure. But I will take excessive amounts of Melatonin just to sleep because the increases literally tear me up.

Just my experience and I have nothing scientific to back this up, but I have been struggling with sleep for more than a year and experienced that upping the dose of Melatonin actually affected my sleep badly. I slept better with one pill than with 3.

 

[katri]

Just my experience and I have nothing scientific to back this up, but I have been struggling with sleep for more than a year and experienced that upping the dose of Melatonin actually affected my sleep badly. I slept better with one pill than with 3.

Can you sleep now? How bad is your tinnitus? I wake up with tremors sometimes. I don't know what that means. I also don't know what my ear sensations mean.

 

[Daniel Lion]

Thank you, D. I am sorry I said that in a moment of despair. I hope everyone gets better and gets the f*ck off the forum. I hope I can get better and, for the most part, get the f*ck off the forum. Then I can get a job and donate money and become an advocate.

Who knows... of course I hope this... I want to be better too.

I was not speaking from a place of despair, I was being honest about my situation and lack of hope. Blah.

Changing subject now.

My advocacy plan - When I am ready, I will show my face. I am going to take a few photos of me, my art, and of course my family around me. In a few photos I will have my clunky earmuffs on in contrast to everyone else and will have a hand-painted sign that says tinnitus and hyperacusis sufferer. That's the plan, but of course my vanity wants me to look my best and lose a bit of weight. i.e. C cup to a B.

 

[GBB]

Just my experience and I have nothing scientific to back this up, but I have been struggling with sleep for more than a year and experienced that upping the dose of Melatonin actually affected my sleep badly. I slept better with one pill than with 3.

Melatonin also disrupts my sleep. I have stuck with Mirtazapine which seems better than Melatonin alone or the combination of both.

 

[Zugzug]

My advocacy plan - When I am ready, I will show my face. I am going to take a few photos of me, my art, and of course my family around me. In a few photos I will have my clunky earmuffs on in contrast to everyone else and will have a hand-painted sign that says tinnitus and hyperacusis sufferer. That's the plan, but of course my vanity wants me to look my best and lose a bit of weight. i.e. C cup to a B.

At the risk of sounding like a narcissist, my problem is so rare and disabling (more common problems, like noise trauma, can be just as severe and disabling, but the cause is more straightforward) that I feel like on the advocacy end, once I'm in, I'm in. I want to have a very firm diagnosis before I go public -- this way the doubting is minimized.

Going public now would not be the end of the world or anything, but just with less benefit at this point. Part of my goal for advocacy is to describe all of the precautions and life changes that I take. Saying that I changed out my mouse for a quieter one or that I get symptoms from the muscle contractions of typing -- well that's the kind of thing that goes over better with the backing of medical evidence. I am close, but not there yet.

 

[wwtsai]

Melatonin also disrupts my sleep. I have stuck with Mirtazapine which seems better than Melatonin alone or the combination of both.

I will also chime in on Melatonin not being that helpful for sleep. I took a bunch of it and sleep aids when I first got my spike since I couldn't sleep at all. It didn't help and threw my Circadian rhythm out of whack.

My doctor prescribed a low dose of Trazodone at 25 mg which, while it took a few weeks to kick in, allows me to fall asleep within minutes with no residual side effects the next day.

 

[Kriszti]

Can you sleep now? How bad is your tinnitus? I wake up with tremors sometimes. I don't know what that means. I also don't know what my ear sensations mean.

I still cannot sleep properly, but it has improved a lot from being awake 23 hours a day to being able to sleep 4 hours, sometimes even 5 hours. Not uninterrupted, I wake up a lot, but I hope I will get there. Still have nights with only 2 hours of sleep, but overall it got better. Tremors could be from being severely exhausted and sleep deprived.

My sounds are currently behaving, don't know why, because the last couple of weeks were horrible when 2 of my 3 tones were raging, one of them got over-the-shower loud.

I know that medication can be dangerous, but if insomnia and tinnitus makes you suicidal, they still are the better option, just be cautious with them. You said that your parents don't believe in this kind of medicine, but you really need something to sleep.

And please, don't do anything rushed.