Suicidal

Answered all these questions before. NEXT...
oh?

what, exactly, have you done to address your TMJ specifically?

if you still have ear pain and you haven't put at least 3-4 weeks into 20 mins day of proper self treatment after proper self education... well, occasionally animals die of thirst right next to an oasis, one supposes
 
I feel extremely guilty for first of all attempting suicide and it making my issues 5 times worse and now I'm just stuck and hopeless and suffering for the rest of my life. I really think everyone here who's still fighting and hasn't given up is a huge hero and a warrior. I wish I could've been one too.

After my suicide attempt I got many more issues, worst being PT. It's absolute hell to deal with on top of my tinnitus & hyperacusis. It has affected all aspects of my life so negatively. I have severe hyperacusis so I can't try to fix it, probably ever!

My ears need complete silence and now they make an actual sound 24/7 so bad that using protection too long hurts my ears. I can't sleep or concentrate and I'm on the brink of panic for most of the time. I know this all can still be much more difficult in the future so I'm trying to be grateful and enjoy this level of suffering before I'm worse again.

I'd be amazing right now if I hadn't done it. If anything, getting these new issues made me more suicidal but now I can't ever do it. Yet it's the only thing I can think of. I'm young and totally stupid and keep digging myself even deeper. All this could've been avoided so easily, but the past won't change no matter how much I think about it.

I'm not telling this story to garner sympathy - I just want to warn you. Don't act on your impulses, you might pay very hard from them. Please, learn from my mistakes.
 
oh?

what, exactly, have you done to address your TMJ specifically?

if you still have ear pain and you haven't put at least 3-4 weeks into 20 mins day of proper self treatment after proper self education... well, occasionally animals die of thirst right next to an oasis, one supposes
I don't want to give out my personal info.

No one knows 100% of what is causing the ear pain is TMJ. I can buy the book now, though. $22? I sold something so I have a little money. I want to buy the items I need. The ear pain is so bad, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I want to be dead.

My tinnitus went really low early this evening. I think it was low for about 2 hours. I had a couple of noise exposure incidents but I don't think it did anything. The pattern every day is that the tinnitus becomes loudest in the late evening and the ear pain happens or increases at any time.

I don't think this TMJ related. The only symptoms that applies is ear pain, occasional ear clicking or popping and bruxism but I have been grinding for a while. I wonder if I am doing it less though? Because my teeth and jaw haven't been sore lately. Just excruciating ear pain in my left ear 90% of the time and occasionally I have right ear pain.

I don't see how this is TMJ. I haven't read of anyone here who has TMJ having similar symptoms.
 
Thank you Lab, and to Nate and Kris and Fishbone. Everyone on this forum is so kind...kind of tears me up but I'm a crier haha and it warms my heart how we all seem to genuinely care about each other's well being.

Lab, your words especially have struck a very deep cord inside of me. I will try to forgive myself and move forward, little by little. I spend a lot of time in the research threads and it's like I know the light is there. For me, and for all of us.

Until then, I will try to make strides every day as best I can. You're right, we need all the strength we can.
I'm really glad to hear that. You got this ;)
 
Having a really bad day today. It's days like these where I feel like I can't go on. I wake up crying, I go to sleep crying. I just want the distortion to stop. I want to stop hearing loud dial tones inside of fans and planes and air conditioners. I want to stop hearing crickets and white noise and Morse code beeps inside of the car, and from water, and from passing traffic - from practically everything. I just...just want sounds to be normal. I crave the ocean and the wind, and I fear I will never hear them like I did ever again.

I want my ears to be normal. I want my old life back. Even my life from 3 months ago would be okay. It was severe tinnitus but I could cope...not well, but I suppose well enough...

I'll never forgive myself for letting that acoustic trauma happen. Every day I blame myself. Every second I blame myself. I count down the minutes until I can fall asleep. It's the only part of the day I look forward to anymore, and that is just no way to live a life.

I keep trying to say, "hang in there. One of these upcoming treatments will help you. It will help all of us." But then I think what if not. I can do 5 years of this, maybe 10. But I can't do a lifetime. My brain can't even process 60 years of suffering like this.
Stay strong and remember that most of us are in the same situation...

"Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune."

William James
 
I don't want to give out my personal info.
No one asked you to.

No one knows 100% of what is causing the ear pain is TMJ. I can buy the book now, though. $22? I sold something so I have a little money.
Offered to buy you the book, dude. I also offered to take pictures / scans of the important 10-20 pages and just send them to you. No money. No personal info.
I don't see how this is TMJ. I haven't read of anyone here who has TMJ having similar symptoms.
I've linked you to a ton of TMJ resources which list many more (but not all) of your symptoms as TMJ related.

I am not suggesting that treating your TMJ will solve your problems, but if you're anything like me and the rest of us "trigger points and pain around the ear and jaw" crew, then I think properly treating your TMJ will reduce some of your symptoms. I'd also be concerned that TMJ tends to be progressive if not treated and this can certainly lead to worse tinnitus, ischemic events, and eventually the destruction of the jaw joint.

I've said all I have to say on this; if you want the book pages let me know, if you'd rather just assume that none of this applies to you without actually trying it, welp, good luck with that.
 
My ear is in more pain again.

It's so frustrating. How does both my tinnitus and ear pain dramatically reduce for a short period of time (approximately 2 hours) only to worsen and increase? I don't know what it was or what caused it.

I can't wear muffs all the time. :(

That two hours was a relief and I don't consider the t mild then so maybe moderate but it was a significant and welcome change. At this moment of this post, the t is screaming. I bet it's at least 70 dB. I don't want to live when it's like this and if it's like this most of the time, I want to do whatever I need to stop it even if it means I am not alive anymore.
 
My ear is in more pain again.

It's so frustrating. How does both my tinnitus and ear pain dramatically reduce for a short period of time (approximately 2 hours) only to worsen and increase? I don't know what it was or what caused it.

I can't wear muffs all the time. :(

That two hours was a relief and I don't consider the t mild then so maybe moderate but it was a significant and welcome change. At this moment of this post, the t is screaming. I bet it's at least 70 dB. I don't want to live when it's like this and if it's like this most of the time, I want to do whatever I need to stop it even if it means I am not alive anymore.
Try a short course of prednisone maybe?

methylprednisone.jpg
 
I have 70 decibel tinnitus and constant ear pain that often becomes severe.

I don't want to hang on. It is frustrating that the intrusiveness hinders concentration which I think is needed for a suicide. No one wants to be in an even worse state.
 
I feel extremely guilty for first of all attempting suicide and it making my issues 5 times worse and now I'm just stuck and hopeless and suffering for the rest of my life. I really think everyone here who's still fighting and hasn't given up is a huge hero and a warrior. I wish I could've been one too.

After my suicide attempt I got many more issues, worst being PT. It's absolute hell to deal with on top of my tinnitus & hyperacusis. It has affected all aspects of my life so negatively. I have severe hyperacusis so I can't try to fix it, probably ever!

My ears need complete silence and now they make an actual sound 24/7 so bad that using protection too long hurts my ears. I can't sleep or concentrate and I'm on the brink of panic for most of the time. I know this all can still be much more difficult in the future so I'm trying to be grateful and enjoy this level of suffering before I'm worse again.

I'd be amazing right now if I hadn't done it. If anything, getting these new issues made me more suicidal but now I can't ever do it. Yet it's the only thing I can think of. I'm young and totally stupid and keep digging myself even deeper. All this could've been avoided so easily, but the past won't change no matter how much I think about it.

I'm not telling this story to garner sympathy - I just want to warn you. Don't act on your impulses, you might pay very hard from them. Please, learn from my mistakes.

I couldn't read this and not post. I know you say that you don't write this to garner sympathy and I can respect that. I know I'm just a stranger on the internet, but I'm glad you're still alive, and you ARE still fighting T as we speak.
 
Thank you Lab, and to Nate and Kris and Fishbone. Everyone on this forum is so kind...kind of tears me up but I'm a crier haha and it warms my heart how we all seem to genuinely care about each other's well being.

Lab, your words especially have struck a very deep cord inside of me. I will try to forgive myself and move forward, little by little. I spend a lot of time in the research threads and it's like I know the light is there. For me, and for all of us.

Until then, I will try to make strides every day as best I can. You're right, we need all the strength we can.
I feel you exactly. I've been coping just fine with my tinnitus but recently started with the distortions. It's been devastating. The shower used to be my safe space where I couldn't hear my tinnitus. Now it's a whistling screeching hellhole. I'm worried eventually all frequencies will be distorted and then I'll be deaf. Isolated. Unable to communicate. What a life, I'm only 19 and it's already nearing the end. I can feel it.
 
I'll never forgive myself for letting that acoustic trauma happen. Every day I blame myself. Every second I blame myself.
I literally caused my own T by listening to stupid loud music. It was very hard for me to forgive myself for ruining my life. I was finally able to forgive myself when I came to the understanding that there was no way in hell I could have known what the consequences would be for playing that loud music. Once I truly forgave myself, my mental healing process could begin.

I can do 5 years of this, maybe 10. But I can't do a lifetime. My brain can't even process 60 years of suffering like this.
. I use to think this same way. No way could I deal with this torture for the next 40 years. I payed a lot of money to a very good Psychiatrist who told me not to futurize my thoughts. In other words why worry about 40 years from now? I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Why suffer all that worrying and anxiety for nothing? The only thing that matters is right here and now. No one is guaranteed tomorrow much less 40, 50, 60 years from now.

Both of these mindset changes helped me a lot in my healing journey.
 
My ear pain reduced a lot in the past couple of days and was really good today until now.

I went into a Walmart and I didn't have to. What I was looking for, they didn't have it and later, I discovered I don't need it yet. So I went in for NOTHING.

What is the point of this story? When I walked through the sliding doors, some person was pulling out a cart and it made a loud screeching noise.

Am I fucked now?!? :( My left ear has some pain now. The event was 3 to 4 hours ago. I am told that there can be a delay in ear pain. But, that makes no sense to me!!! :-( Is that true? A delay of hours after a particular loud noise and then ear pain?!? I don't know when a loud noise will happen!!! Am I supposed to wear ear plugs in stores?!? The last time I wore plugs a lot, I think the pressure from the foam on my ear canal caused pain.

I just feel like it's hopeless. If my ear pain was from TMJ, how can it be today?!? I didn't do anything that would be from a jaw problem!!! I am just tired of this cycle. All I do is suffer from this and think about how I can kill myself. I want the eat pain to end and then I don't have to endure the loud tinnitus either.
 
My ear pain is really bad in the muscle? Is it a muscle? Right near the bottom of the ear in the joint area at the bone. What is that? Is it equally likely TMJ or hyperacusis or more likely one rather than the other?

I should hope it's TMJ? That is easier to treat or can noise induced pain ever go away? My ear pain seems very frequent and the main problem is when I get it, it persists indefinitely.

It can also appear randomly at a moderate or severe level but almost always ends up at a severe level for days or even weeks. :(
 
My ear pain is really bad in the muscle? Is it a muscle? Right near the bottom of the ear in the joint area at the bone. What is that? Is it equally likely TMJ or hyperacusis or more likely one rather than the other?

I should hope it's TMJ? That is easier to treat or can noise induced pain ever go away? My ear pain seems very frequent and the main problem is when I get it, it persists indefinitely.

It can also appear randomly at a moderate or severe level but almost always ends up at a severe level for days or even weeks. :(
You might want to see a jaw and facial pain doctor to check your jaw to see where the pain is coming from.
 
What is the point of this story? When I walked through the sliding doors, some person was pulling out a cart and it made a loud screeching noise.
Did you go to the store without earplugs? You have to protect yourself from people.

I really have sympathy for you since I was 50 yards from the carts... this store has plastic carts... but then someone pulled out a... plastic... cart and slammed the child seat down and I winced.

Bathrooms... those stupid vortex hand dryers that are loud as hell, people slamming the toilet lids down, squeaky doors... if the tinnitus seems worse with ear plugs, cut some foam ones in half just to knock down the shock.
 
I thought the following 60 Minutes segment was interesting, and seemed to connect with some of the thoughts and feelingss expressed on this thread:

Scientists are using MRI scans to reveal the physical makeup of our thoughts and feelings
Ten years ago, 60 Minutes met a team of scientists at Carnegie Mellon University who had begun to decode simple thoughts inside the brain. Now they've moved on to identifying complex thoughts from spirituality to suicide
 
Did you go to the store without earplugs? You have to protect yourself from people.

I really have sympathy for you since I was 50 yards from the carts... this store has plastic carts... but then someone pulled out a... plastic... cart and slammed the child seat down and I winced.

Bathrooms... those stupid vortex hand dryers that are loud as hell, people slamming the toilet lids down, squeaky doors... if the tinnitus seems worse with ear plugs, cut some foam ones in half just to knock down the shock.
I said I wasn't wearing any. I stopped wearing plugs because the ringing is so loud and before, plugs were causing pain from pressure on the ear canal - I assume.

I am scared because getting any worse is too much. I sometimes think I might do something brash like jumping off a building.

Can scraping carts make tinnitus worse or just cause a spike?

I will wear plugs from now on when entering stores and hope that they don't make my ears hurt. The sliding doors sometimes make a screeching sound and people have caused carts to make that screeching and scraping sound before but yesterday was pretty bad. I am scared now. I hate being fucked no matter what I do. This is no life.
 
I thought the following 60 Minutes segment was interesting, and seemed to connect with some of the thoughts and feelingss expressed on this thread:

Scientists are using MRI scans to reveal the physical makeup of our thoughts and feelings
Ten years ago, 60 Minutes met a team of scientists at Carnegie Mellon University who had begun to decode simple thoughts inside the brain. Now they've moved on to identifying complex thoughts from spirituality to suicide
Useless.

I also think that the researchers for tinnitus and hearing loss are useless.
 

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