Suicidal

I am going to buy a rope at the hardware store tomorrow. The tinnitus pitch is just too high. It is shocking to me how this is possible. I don't know how to describe it anymore. It is almost "aggressive." I think I am supposed to commit suicide. I don't want to die but if the tinnitus is like this, I would rather die than listen to this 24/7. I cannot mask it. I want support to commit suicide as there is no other choice.

I hate this life so much and the only relief is suicide.
Canada aka another shithole country which neglects and ignores tinnitus sufferers including severe ones.
@PeteJ maybe chat to @billie48 who I believe is Canadian? He's very knowledgable and helpful x
 
@PeteJ, try to get good sleep. I notice I'm so much better today after taking Zolpidem last night. I also used sleep appliance for sleep apnea and TMJ disorder. Bad sleep = bad tinnitus. Sleep disorders can raise havoc with tinnitus it seems.
 
Did he not help in anyway?
Tried his headcap with electrodes. As I remember it, it just gave me a center head based tinnitus for a few weeks until it vanished. My tinnitus clearly ordinates form my inner ear. My best guess would be broken nerve synapses. He also prescribed Gabapentin. Benzos and Escitalopram did a much better job for me.
 
I woke up this morning and it's so awful. Words can't describe.
Several layered tones but the pitch is piercing and it's at too loud a volume.

I am buying the rope tomorrow for sure. Tired of talking about it. I want to die and that's it.
 
Hi Pete,

My tinnitus is 7-8/10. It spiked to 9 and 10/10 before and I couldn't handle it. I have other health problems to adding to my tinnitus and my life is messed up, but suicidal before but not anymore.

I just want you to try this, coming from a previously non-believer.

I am from Lebanon, and we have a saint called Saint Charbel.
There are literally thousands of testimonies about him curing people from incurable illnesses.
Most of the stories are along the lines of: I saw St Charbel in my dreams and he talked to me and i was cured suddenly the next day.

Even The Economist wrote an article about him:
https://www.economist.com/middle-east-and-africa/2018/12/15/miracles-are-on-the-rise-in-lebanon

Search him on YouTube: Saint Charbel Miracles English
Some are actually subtitled English

The Lebanese Church has recorded over 30,000 miracles for him since he began his intercession in 1950s. The miracle record process is rigid and requires detailed medical reports and evidences to prove that medical community couldn't do anything and the illness is incurable and that the healing happened miraculously

I have been praying for his intercession for the past year. He has not responded to me but he had responded to other people quickly. I have no clue how he chooses to respond.

Please try praying his Novena.

http://stsharbel.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Novena-St.Sharbel-.pdf

I will include you in my prayer.

Best wishes
Amazing, I didn't know about this great saint. So many miracles. He cured also a blind woman who had tinnitus and other conditions, Dafne Gutierrez.
 
I woke up this morning and it's so awful. Words can't describe.
Several layered tones but the pitch is piercing and it's at too loud a volume.

I am buying the rope tomorrow for sure. Tired of talking about it. I want to die and that's it.
Sorry to hear that. Do you exclude a trip to the ER to get some immediate help? Benzos, sleeping pills, Scopolamine patches, urgent referrals.
 
I woke up this morning and it's so awful. Words can't describe.
I know what you mean. Mine seemed okay last night but I awakened to static. Going to call my TMJ Dr. and see what he says. I do have some clicking on my left TMJ. Noise in your ears/head is so frustrating.
 
No, it isn't.
Any reasonably experienced family doctor should be able to recognise when a person is in a desperate situation where benzodiazepines - I also recommend zolpidem or zopiclone for sleeping - can be an essential help.

What does the family doctor say? I don't prescribe benzos for you, but I can prescribe a rope for you?
 
Sorry to hear that. Do you exclude a trip to the ER to get some immediate help? Benzos, sleeping pills, Scopolamine patches, urgent referrals.
I tried ER. I went before my tinnitus worsened. It was really loud there. Medical beeps all throughout the time there. Over three hours wait to be told to go home.
 
Any reasonably experienced family doctor should be able to recognise when a person is in a desperate situation where benzodiazepines - I also recommend zolpidem or zopiclone for sleeping - can be an essential help.

What does the family doctor say? I don't prescribe benzos for you, but I can prescribe a rope for you?
He doesn't like benzos for reasons that others here don't like them.

Ironically, he prescribed Ativan when I had a panic attack years ago. Before I had tinnitus.

Does any med such as benzos reduce tinnitus at all? It's not clear to me. Or is it only going to help with anxiety?
 
Does any med such as benzos reduce tinnitus at all? It's not clear to me. Or is it only going to help with anxiety?
For me it reduced my tinnitus by 80% for a few hours and afforded me sleep.

Pete have you told your doctor you are suicidal?
 
I tried ER. I went before my tinnitus worsened. It was really loud there. Medical beeps all throughout the time there. Over three hours wait to be told to go home.
Had you made it clear you were suicidal?
 
He doesn't like benzos for reasons that others here don't like them.
90 clonazepam for $10 has to be cheaper than a rope. Talking to Dr. Shulman is the right thing to do on his preferred number. He will work with your doctors to get the right prescriptions when you are in a panic mode. Or maybe he just works with people in the US, not sure.

Maybe gabapentin plus clonazepam?
 
I thought if anyone would understand, it would be people who have tinnitus. Maybe only a few, a small fraction have even a small part of understanding?
I don't want to live with this anymore and I don't know how. The tinnitus noise is so loud that I can't even do the simplest of things without great struggle.
 
I thought if anyone would understand, it would be people who have tinnitus. Maybe only a few, a small fraction have even a small part of understanding?
I don't want to live with this anymore and I don't know how. The tinnitus noise is so loud that I can't even do the simplest of things without great struggle.
You do not take advice from anyone it seems so what's the point in asking?
 
I thought if anyone would understand, it would be people who have tinnitus. Maybe only a few, a small fraction have even a small part of understanding?
I don't want to live with this anymore and I don't know how. The tinnitus noise is so loud that I can't even do the simplest of things without great struggle.

Why do you think we do not understand? My tinnitus is blasting 9/10 right now. I MUST GO ON.... Yesterday, It was 2/10. I MUST GO ON... Tomorrow, my tinnitus will be whatever it wants to be. My life is not what I wanted and it has been forever changed by tinnitus. I MUST GO ON.....
 
You do not take advice from anyone it seems so what's the point in asking?
No point in living.

No one understands. I don't see how one can function with tinnitus this loud. Sleep? How? This is insane. How can the brain and ears become like this?

If I had known, I would have taken precautions. I don't want to live like this. Euthanasia should be allowed.
 
Tried his headcap with electrodes. As I remember it, it just gave me a center head based tinnitus for a few weeks until it vanished. My tinnitus clearly ordinates form my inner ear. My best guess would be broken nerve synapses. He also prescribed Gabapentin. Benzos and Escitalopram did a much better job for me.
My tinnitus noise I describe as an electrical noise like a large power line buzzing.

I don't know why it's like this or why it changed. It's just a bunch of tones layered together? Why? Why did it worsen and increase in volume? Did I incur or suffer further hearing loss or something else? :-(

Earplugs will make me hear this noise and nothing else. I'm up past midnight since it's so loud.

How do you take a hearing test when it's so loud? These questions do nothing...for me. I just don't know what to say in general anymore.
 
My tinnitus noise I describe as an electrical noise like a large power line buzzing.
I can relate to this but mine is more like a high pitched dental drill. It can easily be heard over any everyday activity. Talking to people, listing to music, being in my office, riding with my car or even when on a normal flight. The only thing that kind of masks it is the shower.

How do you perceive it? In the ear or the head?

Earplugs will make me hear this noise and nothing else. I'm up past midnight since it's so loud.
I can assure you that it is quite easy to learn how to sleep with severe tinnitus. In fact you will soon see it as a blessing after a day with tinnitus. The reason you can´t sleep is that your body is pumped up with adrenaline from severe stress mode.

How do you take a hearing test when it's so loud? These questions do nothing...for me. I just don't know what to say in general anymore.
I would not bother with a hearing test in you situation. It will most likely show that you lost some high frequency hearing. Most do not test above 8 kHz anyway. There is noting more that could be done with that information on hand.

You need a decent dose of benzo to slowly get you body out of panic mode. Also a good sleeping pill like Zopiclone. I used it for almost 2 years and had no problems at all to get off of it once I had my tinnitus under control. After that I used it for a month in a row without any problems to stop. Just go over to your doctor and don´t leave until he really understands how serous this is. Bring someone to support you. Ask him to call
@just1morething's recommended doctor. It could not be a big thing for your doc to do?

Do not worry for a second about the addictive aspect of this. You do not need that on top of all the other shit you are going through. If I could turn back time I would have used much more benzos in my early days. The meds exist for a reason.
 
Maybe stop asking why and how and actually start doing something to make your experience bearable?
So many people here give you advice, but you don't take them.
Some people here have 9 or 10/10 tinnitus, unmaskable, piercing through everything (this is my case) and we are still here living our lives the best we can and try to advise people.

Saying "I want to die" "I'm gonna commit suicide " "I'm buying a rope" won't help your nervous system calm down. The stress level DOES have impact on your tinnitus. There's an amazing post somewhere in the forum that explains why stress doesn't only impact your tinnitus acceptance, but also your tinnitus level itself. There's a deep correlation between how you perceive the threat and how loud the sound gets.

Are you working? Do you have house activities? Do you go out or do you spend your whole day on the forum reading horrible stories?
Seriously, start and do something positive for your happiness, even though you don't fee like it. Your body will thank your for it, and your tinnitus will too at some point.

Go get a beer at the local bar. Go take a walk somewhere you've never been before. Talk to random people in the street. Ride a bicycle. Smoke a cigarette. Play video games. Try something you've never done before. I dunno, go to a dating site maybe? (this will be way funnier than Tinnitus Talk and you need some fun)
Basically: DO STUFF. The only way I could overcome my unbearable tinnitus levels and frequencies was by doing things, not sitting on my couch reading a forum.

Try medications too. Benzos help. You need help = try benzos. Your doctor won't prescribe it? Book an appointment with another who will.
 

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