Suicidal

[dan]

Closing in on 4 years.
Cause unknown.
In a quiet room it is hard to judge, but maybe 40-50dB?
Kind of sounds like an industrial sand blaster overlaid with oscillating hi-pitched metallic screech, but it is hard to pin down.

Without exaggeration, this is the most horrid, alien sound that I ever heard in my life.

I have the same sound.
Also medium hum.
40dB is a quiet library, no?

 

[Harley]

I have the same sound.
Also medium hum.
40dB is a quiet library, no?

Looks like you had also won the tinnitus lottery...
I'm not quite sure to be honest.
All I know is, that it is very high pitched and it almost feels like it's cutting into my brain like a sharp knife.
Enough to prevent sleep.

 

[dan]

Looks like you had also won the tinnitus lottery...
I'm not quite sure to be honest.
All I know is, that it is very high pitched and it almost feels like it's cutting into my brain like a sharp knife.
Enough to prevent sleep.

Yep and I made it worse... we are our worst enemy 90% of the time...
4 years and still no trace of habituation?
No sleep as in no continuous sleep?
I'm assuming you can't use background sounds to help you sleep, right?

 

[Harley]

Yep and I made it worse... we are our worst enemy 90% of the time...
4 years and still no trace of habituation?
No sleep as in no continuous sleep?
I'm assuming you can't use background sounds to help you sleep, right?

Correct on all counts.

This is why the whole "just pretend it's a kitchen appliance" type of intelligence insulting crap doesn't really cut it for me.
And I know I'm not alone.

This is why there is a desperate need for some real treatment options.

 

[Foamearplugssuck]

Today is my one year tinnitus anniversary! How should I celebrate? I was thinking of walking into to traffic or raiding my parents medicine cabinet, but if any of you have better suggestions let me know

 

[ASilverLight]

Correct on all counts.

This is why the whole "just pretend it's a kitchen appliance" type of intelligence insulting crap doesn't really cut it for me.
And I know I'm not alone.

This is why there is a desperate need for some real treatment options.

I really wish people would realise that there are some people who don't naturally tune things out. The way some people say you put on your clothes and forget they're there after a few minutes... what's that like? I've always been hyper aware of sounds, scents, sensations etc. Even if I could pretend my tinnitus was some outside source like an appliance it wouldn't solve anything for me because I've never been able to tune things out.

Anyway. Saw my GP again today. Ears look calm now. There were signs of infection along with a lot of fluid two months ago. I guess I just got super unlucky, and one plugged ear was all it took for me to develop this hell.

I'll hang on for my friends and family, but I genuinely don't know how long I'll be able to. My tinnitus is too intrusive and changes too much. It's hell, and I'm at the end of my rope for real.

 

[Contrast]

The Opioid Epidemic is literally in the process of being replaced by a CBT/ACT paradigm. Biological sciences are not even considered.

 

[Kriszti]

I really wish people would realise that there are some people who don't naturally tune things out. The way some people say you put on your clothes and forget they're there after a few minutes... what's that like? I've always been hyper aware of sounds, scents, sensations etc. Even if I could pretend my tinnitus was some outside source like an appliance it wouldn't solve anything for me because I've never been able to tune things out.

Me neither. I have always been super sensitive to sounds and visual things. Scents don't really bother me. Flies, mosquitos, buzzing of the bulbs before they go out, ticking clock, dripping faucet drive me nuts. And it's considered being a drama queen. I really want to be different, but can't change the fact that these irritate me a great deal. So even my moderate at max tinnitus makes my life a living hell. And because I had a severely loud sound, I'm constantly in absolute terror that it's gonna get worse. I'm trying really hard to rewire my mind to be more optimistic, but haven't had success yet.

On a positive note, I hope it may help you. My bilateral tinnitus fluctuated a lot. Changed ears, pitch, characteristics, volume. Sometimes it sounded like an electrical buzzing, a pure tone, sizzling, screeching, crickets, screaming, whistle, you name it. After 4-5 month, it settled to a grinding machine/dentist drill sound around 12kHz. (I gained an other sound too.) Still fluctuates in volume, but it's easier to deal with than with the constant changes.

 

[Zugzug]

Two days ago, I created a Jastreboff cognitive dissonance recipe. I listened to music at 40 decibels for a few hours in a good mood and by the end of the night, my hyperacusis worsened. Two days later, it is still worsening. But I thought it's impossible for sounds under 85 db to cause harm, and that only a bad attitude was holding me back?

 

[dan]

I have lost the count of my tones. I have tried to concentrate and distinguish them, yet I can't do it. High pitch whistlings, hissing, electrical buzzing, fluctuating old modem/router sound, morse beeps, wine glass humming... you name it! I have EVERYTHING! It was 2016 when I woke up in that stupid morning and my right ear was faintly whistling. I never had imagined that my tinnitus would have evolved to that monster that is today, nor I can imagine how will it be next year, and in two years and so on...

In addition to my tinnitus more and more sounds make my ears produce this resonance sounds, like when you approach a microphone close to a speaker and it is horrible.

I lost my peace. I am experienced enough now to know that it won't get better. It doesn't get better after 3 years of constant worsening. There's not even one case reporting remission of SUCH severe symptoms. So what do I do? Sitting like a naive idiot and praising hope? When I hear the word hope, I get angry. I don't want to continue. It's pointless. Really.

Hi Vermillion, was your worsening due to any noise exposure(s)?

You described exactly my tinnitus since my worsening... same sounds, I can't count them anymore they blend into this loud cacophony of noises... basically in a quiet room it is like putting on headphones and listening to music at mid volume, except its not music, but this feedback sound.
Outdoors I hear the high pitch component very clearly over anything.

You should try and wait for RL-81 and/or FX-322.

Your T twin,
Dan

 

[dan]

I live without being able to sleep. I spend almost no sleep a whole night, the next night I sleep a little more because of how tired and exhausted I feel. But the next night it is impossible to sleep again. Its like this all the time. This fucking sounds are so loud.

Trust me, it will get easier to sleep.

It takes time... 1 year often isn't enough for severe tinnitus with people type A personality.
I would say in 3 more years, you will sleep 6 hours straight, I promise!
But it's gonna happen in stages, you will notice you slept 2-3 hours, then 4-5 and finally 6+ in the 3rd year.
Your first year was the ' OMG I cant believe this sh!t really happened to me and it's not getting better...
Now begins your recovery years.

This crap is a real cluster mindfu@k.
It's a f'ing bully, that will beat the sh!t out of you, but you will get up and say
FU@K YOU TINNITUS I beat you.

 

[Contrast]

I have something positive to say.

Considering all these psychological resilience based therapies are new for chronic pain, it's possible they will die young. They arose out of the chaos of the opiod epidemic coming to an end. Maybe they will get excessive negative feed back also and the Academic world will give up.

 

[pinklights98]

I have insane noise distortion. Everything sounds broken, fans, running water, the AC. I feel like clawing my ears out. I am at such a low. I should have graduated this semester but tinnitus took that away from me. I need help so bad. I hope all of us can be free one day. I am desperately trying to hold on.

 

[GlennS]

I've had tinnitus for 28 years (with extreme worsening 2 years ago) and nothing has ever improved it.

Lenire has been the only treatment to have a positive impact.
So to call it a scam is a bit excessive.

We really need Tinnitus Talk to release that official report, stat.

 

[vermillion]

Hi Vermillion, was your worsening due to any noise exposure(s)?

Hi @dan I will try to sum it up:

a. First onset: I woke up one morning during 2016 and my right ear was faintly whistling (I knew I was in trouble at that very moment). Extreme anxiety. Possible reason: ototoxicity by fluconazole

b. After 1 week things seemed to get better, but after around 2 weeks tinnitus spread. It became bilateral. Tones added in the repertory. Extreme anxiety. Cause of worsening: not sure. Everyday noise?

c. The following months I was getting panic attacks etc. A neuro tried to treat me but believe me this was a bad decision. That doctor was an imposter (he got arrested). His drug cocktail possibly made me worse or it was just random. A high pitch part of my tinnitus started fluctuating like: eeeeAAAeeeAAA. Dysacusis followed later on.

d. I started protecting my ears even more. However I ended up with all these sounds. That was during the first 2 years. 3rd year I quit my job completely. But I started to cope better. If I could get rid of the hearing protection I could feel almost ok. But my tinnitus is reactive. Even with protection I could not reduce the reactivity. Anyway.

e. 1.5 month ago I experienced an improvement in regards to reactivity. I was very happy about it. I also traveled in a place that was not noisy, so I could use my muffs less in appropriate instances. No acoustic traumas etc. I felt that I could do this.

g. Around that time I started applying tioconazole laque on an infected nail (similar to fluconazole drug), tinnitus after several weeks (3 weeks ago) spiked like crazy (my father also died which was added stress but I don't believe I worsened from that). Distortions went worse. Reactivity returned and on top of that hyperacusis (if it is hyperacusis) worsened a lot. I am back to square one, or even worse.

Outdoors I hear the high pitch component very clearly over anything.

this feedback sound

Your T twin

Yeap I hear you! That's me. When tinnitus is at its full power I cannot distinguish the tones. Too many and too complicated.

I would say in 3 more years, you will sleep 6 hours straight, I promise!

True. I never masked and I manage to sleep.

You should try and wait for RL-81 and/or FX-322.

I would give that a try, given that I was in my usual state. However this new hypercusis thing, no I can't deal with that. I can't wait in a room for the next 10-15 years for RL-81. FX-322 for me is out of the question. Too vague, too good to be true. I don't consider it as a possible option, because I believe that it's not gonna make it. RL-81 seems to me more "real", yet it's not sure that Thanos will manage to get it out in the market. We are so used to witness failed trials in this forum.

I did manage to get a lot of Trobalt to go on a full treatment. Second pill gave me weird visuals. I stopped.

 

[ASilverLight]

Me neither. I have always been super sensitive to sounds and visual things. Scents don't really bother me. Flies, mosquitos, buzzing of the bulbs before they go out, ticking clock, dripping faucet drive me nuts. And it's considered being a drama queen. I really want to be different, but can't change the fact that these irritate me a great deal. So even my moderate at max tinnitus makes my life a living hell. And because I had a severely loud sound, I'm constantly in absolute terror that it's gonna get worse. I'm trying really hard to rewire my mind to be more optimistic, but haven't had success yet.

On a positive note, I hope it may help you. My bilateral tinnitus fluctuated a lot. Changed ears, pitch, characteristics, volume. Sometimes it sounded like an electrical buzzing, a pure tone, sizzling, screeching, crickets, screaming, whistle, you name it. After 4-5 month, it settled to a grinding machine/dentist drill sound around 12kHz. (I gained an other sound too.) Still fluctuates in volume, but it's easier to deal with than with the constant changes.

Thank you. I hope mine settles soon. While not having silence is horrible it's the way it fluctuates so much that gets to me, along with its intrusiveness. I'm having a bunch of testing done soon including blood work because I've had a lot of other symptoms since the onset of my tinnitus, all started more or less around the same time.

I hope there's a relation between them and that we can find a cause.

 

[dan]

There is no reason, you couldn't repeat a treatment later. Especially with FX-322 which doesn't deplete support cells.

Also, if the Hough pill (aka "bomb blast pill") works as well as reported and is as completely safe as reported, I think it's something you could take after every unwanted noise exposure.

Is the Hough pill just NAC extract?

 

[dan]

Absolutely.

Hey you are around my age...

How can you be so sure?
I mean if Frequency fails (if that's even possible) then what?
You say absolutely? No more severe tinnitus? Retire in peace and quiet?

 

[FGG]

Is the Hough pill just NAC extract?

No, but for some reason it needs to be given with one.

 

[vermillion]

I am suicidal. Is this thread dedicated to that regard?
I really can't do this.

 

[FGG]

How can you be so sure?
I mean if Frequency fails (if that's even possible) then what?
You say absolutely? No more severe tinnitus? Retire in peace and quiet?

I don't think Frequency will fail for those who have support cells left (i.e. those without profound loss), especially for noise induced. They have shown their drug works in two different explanted cochlea studies now. The issue of penetrance will be solved a bit later than version 1.0 as well.

It won't help for non-cochlear causes, those with profound loss or synaptopathy without hair cell loss. But synaptopathy drugs are coming, too. Noise induced folks will have peace and quiet for sure.

I'm not so sure about my case because of the complete dead zones i have. Or at least, I may be waiting longer if I have it in me to.

 

[dan]

I don't think Frequency will fail for those who have support cells left (i.e. those without profound loss), especially for noise induced. They have shown their drug works in two different explanted cochlea studies now. The issue of penetrance will be solved a bit later than version 1.0 as well.

It won't help for non-cochlear causes, those with profound loss or synaptopathy without hair cell loss. But synaptopathy drugs are coming, too. Noise induced folks will have peace and quiet for sure.

I'm not so sure about my case because of the complete dead zones i have. Or at least, I may be waiting longer if I have it in me to.

You're a beautiful person.
And yes, you have it in you.
XOXO

 

[PeteJ]

I am suicidal. Is this thread dedicated to that regard?
I really can't do this.

Me too. And yes, to this topic and feelings. My tinnitus is screaming right now. I am so tired of it.

 

[PeteJ]

I don't think Frequency will fail for those who have support cells left (i.e. those without profound loss), especially for noise induced. They have shown their drug works in two different explanted cochlea studies now. The issue of penetrance will be solved a bit later than version 1.0 as well.

It won't help for non-cochlear causes, those with profound loss or synaptopathy without hair cell loss. But synaptopathy drugs are coming, too. Noise induced folks will have peace and quiet for sure.

I'm not so sure about my case because of the complete dead zones i have. Or at least, I may be waiting longer if I have it in me to.

What does profound loss mean?

 

[PeteJ]

Well said my friend well said.
I'm just trying to help my friend Pete.
You can't leave any stone unturned with this shit.

Why do you think you can help me?

Only a physical change to my tinnitus will help. Lowering the volume and repairing my inner ear (I assume that might treat the tinnitus).

I also have ear pain and I don't know if that will be helped too.

My tinnitus is so high pitched and loud that I don't think anything will help. That's why I want suicide. I don't want to keep enduring this way. I wish assisted suicide and euthanasia was allowed for severe tinnitus sufferers. No one should have to live with this.

I shouldn't be here. I hate life because of this.

 

[PeteJ]

So you dont hear it inside your ears, correct?

Inside my ears and head. It's so loud, it seems external too.

I don't know whether to describe it as ringing or buzzing. Probably both.

It's ringing but a buzzing electrical noise too. It's a multiple number of tones and the pitch is high but I don't know what frequency it is. I guess this doesn't matter because no one knows what I am talking about or has any idea what it sounds like.

 

[FGG]

What does profound loss mean?

Greater than 90dB on an audiogram.

 

[dan]

What does profound loss mean?

IIRC it's hearing loss more than 90dB.
FGG provided a graph.

 

[Kriszti]

What does profound loss mean?

Hearing loss greater than 90 dB.

 

[ASilverLight]

I'm at the end of my rope. Life at home is horrible and I'm in no position to move out. I've lost so much because of these damn loud intrusive noises and there's just no end to it. In a few days it's my 5 month mark. I haven't had ANY improvement and it's getting worse.

I'm just not strong enough for this.