It is torture. I want to die. I never will be happy when it continues. Taking silence from me was just too much. I want it to end.
I want to offer a bit of support in saying that things can improve. In my case, the first year was absolutely brutal and I didn't know how I would make it through catastrophic hyperacusis and tinnitus. I lost tons of weight, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep more than a couple of hours at a time, couldn't drive, closed the storm windows in the summer even though I didn't have air conditioning because even crickets and other people's air conditioners sounded like Boeing 747s.
It's 12 years later and I still have tinnitus, ranging from moderate to severe, worsened by acoustic trauma that spiked things a year ago. But it is MUCH better than the first year. The hyperacusis is gone, although I'm still sensitive to really loud sounds like power tools (and always wear protection if I am using the blender or vacuuming).
One game changer during the first year was getting maskers. They are idiotically expensive but being able to blend in sound to take the edge off the tinnitus was huge for me.
I also own hearing aids / maskers to play ocean waves or other soothing sounds through Bluetooth. This is even more soothing. The pair I have is made by Phonak. I got them through Treble Health which is online. They do have a crew of audiologists who are compassionate and may be able to offer useful tips for coping. (Their advertising is overstated in my view, but sometimes having a professional, in this case an audiologist, with whom one can talk can be helpful.) I don't mean to sound like an ad for them, but getting some kind of support system going was important for me and this is an online option.
Other options might be a craniosacral therapist, acupuncture (I only found 1 out of about 8 I tried who was able to help, but they can calm down the nervous system), massage for self-care and relaxation, warm soothing foods like soups in the winter, anything that you find comforting, although best to avoid ice cream, too many sweets, and too much caffeine that gets one wired.
A compassionate ENT (also not easy to find) might be able to help. The drug Gabapentin has been shown by some studies to reduce tinnitus. There is a thread on Tinnitus Talk about Gabapentin and Lidocaine with useful info. You would need a doctor's prescription and the treatment dose in one study was quite high, but it could be worth exploring given how difficult things sound for you right now. A neurologist or knowledgeable GP might be willing to prescribe it, if the ENT won't.
I found playing acoustic guitar for hours a day was useful. It almost put me in a trance type state just so I could make it through the day.
Good luck.
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