Tryn2BHopeful

Tryn2BHopeful

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  • Tryn2BHopeful
    I cant go out anymore... I don't do anything. I am scared to go to my kids graduation in a couple of months. Despite some of the positive messages I have received on this site, I just feel like I am spiraling. T is worse then the first time I got it, maybe even catastrophic... I have always tried to avoid labeling it... but IDK. Nothing I do helps, sound is reactivity and silence is humming.
    MindOverMatter
    You need to concentrate on you getting better @Tryn2BHopeful You will be losing out, and you might have to skip graduation day. If it scares you off and stressing you out, you shouldn't attend. It is hard, but its your life. Ive missed out on a lot of stuff myself, for quite some time, but I had to. I had to make space for myself, and not add any stress to my life. As far as possible.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I always considered my T moderate... but I think its severe now...trying to hold a job, raise kids, do everything that one needs to do to live is exhausting wit h T... Nobody seems to notice or care that I am struggling... After almost 2 years you would think I would simply know that. Its the life of someone with T.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Thinking about my future is depressing... Will I make it 1, 2, 5 years? I am still feeling the latest set back more than ever, persistent humming, higher hissing, ear discomfort and sensitivity... Guess I am cooked....
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @adpolandam Almost 2 years for me as well... started after a couple doses of Lexapro... Not sure if that was a the catalyst or what, but it doesn't much matter anymore. My daughter is the only one who seems to empathize with me and offer me some support, otherwise I have been on my own like many people here. Turned away at every ENT/Audiologist again like many people here.
    MindOverMatter
    @Tryn2BHopeful
    Even though you might struggle at the moment, things can shift with time. Ive seen and experienced this so many times myself. Ive had long lasting setbacks that has resolved after 4-6 months ++ several times. You will make it through 🙏
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @MindOverMatter I certainly pray that comes to fruition. I always appreciate your positivity. Especially when I am having trouble seeing it. Trying to stay strong. Hard day today.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Why is T so fricken variable?... one day its ok, the next is pure hell. Ugh... what did we do to deserve this?!
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I hear you, and I know your right. However its just hard to feel that way. I was so close to getting over the hump... and I screwed up. I am tired, stressed and I just don't know how to find my way back again. I need to stop blaming myself and move forward, easier said than done. As always I appreciate your comments.
    MindOverMatter
    I know the feeling @Tryn2BHopeful I came out from a long lasting spike recently. It took about 2 months to normalize again. But once I was to take a step back and shift my focus again, I started afirming to myself that I'll be okay. I've been here so many times before, and I've done it before.
    MindOverMatter
    The storm you are in at the moment won't last you forever. You will rise again. Keep your head up mate - you'll get there. One day at a time.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Well it seems that I recovered some, but not back to where I was prior... I never thought I would find myself wishing for my old T back. I always wondered how I would be able to deal with worse... I guess I am finding out... You just do, because there is no choice. Still hoping it improves with time again.
    BrOKeN_1
    "You Just Do".. I couldn't say it better myself. God knows how we can manage to keep it together with tinnitus that makes onset look laughable. I can only attribute this to time served.. hope your day finds you distracted in more pleasurable activities. :)
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Feb 3rd Texas Roadhouse is donating all profits for Dine In and Out orders to the ATA. I told my wife this, and she said... What is the ATA?... I am thinking where have you been the last almost 2 years. :banghead:
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Sadly I knew I would be back here some day. That it would get worse eventually, but I hoped it wouldn't. A simple thing I thought, a middle school orchestra concert, it shouldn't be to bad, and it wasn't until 4 days later. I still don't know if this is a spike or the new normal. Somewhat milder day yesterday, followed a terrible day, with reactivity and my brain just doesn't want to deal with it.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Well a positive if there is one to pull from this... The distortion or sound when I speak has gone away about 95%. T is still more reactive and piercing than before and its been humming in silence like crazy (that is an ongoing off and on thing), hopefully that's temporary as well... only time will tell. Don't get complacent is all I can say, no matter how well you think your doing it take minutes to undo it all.
    4Grace
    Hey - happy holidays to you and your family. Same thing happened to me yesterday. This disorder is insane. I am mostly isolated. Every time I do anything there is a price. Keep well my friend.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Had a good run and was doing well... but this disorder seems to always get you. Ears are sensitive again and new sound in my right ear when I speak. My fault I got complacent. I hope this is just a spike and will improve.
    4Grace
    Is it possible to not get worse? Is it possible to live being carful around noise all the time. Why do some people have T and can go to concerts. The frustration is insane.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Tbh I was doing better. Sound tolerance was much improved with less bad days and more ok ones. Went to my daughter's orchestra concert and it seemed ok until a couple days later. Having back and forth days every since along with distortion to loud and sharp sounds in my right ear. I am sad to be back but support from non sufferers is impossible
    Tryn2BHopeful
    1 year ago today this started. A journey to hell, hope I can make it back. Wishing everyone the best.
    Thizzle
    Have you had any improvements
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Thizzle some... in terms of sounds sensitivity and mental well being. T is still there, still varies, and still drives me crazy sometimes. I wish it were gone or less, but that doesn't seem to be going happen.
    gameover
    I remember when you joined. Not too long after me. Couple fucking pills did you in. WTF...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Still alive. T still sucks most of the time. Hope everyone is doing as well as they can.
    RunningMan
    Good to hear from you. Yes, it sucks and isn't getting any better, nor sleep or anxiety.
    Higo
    How was the break from this site?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I had a "good" run of days. With some terrible ones like today. I do plan to limit my time here.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    This site is to much. My T sucks but I don't wish to die. I understand the pain here but positivity and hope is all I got going for me.
    View previous comments…
    weehiru
    It might be for the best that you take some breaks from this site if it is negatively affecting you. Do whatever you need to help yourself heal with this. Rooting for you @Tryn2BHopeful :)
    4Grace
    So sorry. I keep deleting my profile for that reason. Not to have it linger. Please do not be discouraged about my posts. It's only my story. Love you. I'm sorry.
    RunningMan
    @4Grace Yes, I was responding to your profile post to me a little while ago (about reading), and when I submitted, it said the post no longer existed, and all your posts were gone. I was going to ask if you used Mirt before and mention SSRI's didn't work out for me since you had mentioned those as well. I was hoping for a wonderful retirement also.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Need to exercise again, but I am so beaten down by T most days of the week I just cant get motivated to do it.
    RunningMan
    I do better in nicer weather, but the bad part is that my tinnitus intensity spikes during and after exercise for hours.
    4Grace
    You're posting less which is a good improvement. Maybe start with some nice walks. They are good in so many ways.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @4Grace I dont much see the point in posting much anymore. Mostly when I have a really bad day. T still sucks, I have had some improvements here or there. It tends to go back and forth.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful hello long time. Sorry to bother you. Are you still on low Mirt? I was thinking of taking 3.5 mg tonight. I remember it helped my T but may have worsened my H. If you are still on it do you find it helps. I remember you were having a hard time getting off of a low dose.Any reason. Thank you
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    Thank you what happens when you try to get off?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I cant sleep and become more anxious. Takes about 3 days. Of course it might just be part of my normal cycle of T.
    RunningMan
    2 mg is the lowest dose I've seen mentioned. Does it still seem to increase your appetite?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Woke up from a dream where I was suddenly using a drill, to realize it was the sound in my head...Its going to be a day...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Surviving...The idea of getting better is long lost. I have moments of joy and moments of despair, its a ride I just cant get off of.
    4Grace
    Surviving. Moments of joy are good. That's a win. If you're not worsening I believe you can be okay in time.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I remember when I used to try to post uplifting quotes on this page. T just beats the shit out you. Cant give up though, even if I wanted to
    gameover
    Uplifting does not work when T rages in your head.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @gameover I had more hope then. I had hope in habituation, sound therapy, supplements, that someone would help me, and somehow I would be the "exception" and get better. The fact that they say it gets easier with time. I cant say that it has, I can hide my distress better, if that's improvement then I guess I have gotten "better". I simply hold onto my life with everything I got, but its exhausting.
    gameover
    It would be easier with time if it wasn't worsening.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Ugh... Why does T have to be a different experience every day?! I mean wtf. The constant changing makes it hard to habituate.
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    Starting with mild T for many years didn't seem to help me because the sudden increase to severe T suddenly in Feb 2022 was like a totally new and horrible experience. I never thought T could be like that despite having had it for many years.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - I know what you mean. I feel the same. Don't know how. The volume makes all the difference in the world. The volume and reactivity is what is killing me. This is unimaginable suffering. Go figure I learned to sleep with this beast. If it was not progressing I know I would be much better by now.
    RunningMan
    I wish I could sleep more than 5 to 5 1/2 hours, which is about what I get with medication. Too many issues as if the T isn't bad enough.
    SharonBell
    The only thing that helps my T is sound all day and night and flexeril when needed, it helps me sleep it's great it just makes me very sleepy the next day, but I think I always take it to late. I need to start taking it earlier.. Do any of you take it?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Low hum is more prevalent than ever for some reason. My normal methods for getting it to stop are not working. Its doesnt seem like TTTS.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Seems I either have reactivity with noise or humming in silence. Masking or no masking I am SOL. What fun.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan The fan does kill the sound for me, as does most things, but seems I have to use a bit of a higher volume than before. Also it seems like after I go for a walk I am good for a couple of hours. Maybe blood pressure related? I dont know I take Losartan for BP, and taurine I think can lower BP as well. To answer your question No, but I have used Space Station
    RunningMan
    I take a lot of walks, even yesterday, and bike rides in the summer. My T ramps up some after exercise, although it's usually the high frequency that's got my focus, so I'm not sure about the low freq T, in left ear only, although it's definitely variable.
    Yosemite
    Are you still on Mirtazapine? If not, for how long did you take it? Was it easy to stop taking it?
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan sleep seems to suffer which ultimately leads me into a more depressed state and worse T
    RunningMan
    @BB23, I have never taken Mirtazapine, but I still have stomach pains over 3 1/2 months after weaning off Lexapro (that I used only 7 weeks). But I'm not sure that's protracted withdrawal because I had it while taking it - it's why I stopped. Maybe it brought out underlying issue. Looks like there's 2 of the neurotoxicity (1 education, 1 support).
    RunningMan
    @Tryn2BHopeful Well I hope you can keep your dose of Mirtazapine really low at 2mg and not have to increase it as I've read of others having to do.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Funny how sites about tinnitus tell you that you should seek treatment for it, yet everywhere you go they cant/wont treat it.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    My new PCP tried... Flonase, allergy meds... but that wasn't it.
    RunningMan
    My PCP first just said he wasn't going to talk about it because nothing can be done about it, and he just ignores his. But then he did refer me to an ENT, where I got the lipoflavanoids and melatonin suggestions and referral to audiology, where hearing loss was confirmed, which I already knew.
    BB23
    @Marina Moon they are clueless even within their specialties. No exceptions.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Damn I had a good life and didn't even realize how good it was. Doomed to live this existence or worse until I die. Last week gave me hope..
    View previous comments…
    Yosemite
    For no apparent reason, I guess?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Yeah like usual.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - life pre T was awesome. All the hardships I had I know now were nothing in comparison. Life is grand. It is beautiful. I was always so happy. I never thought this existence existed. Pure torment for me. Incredible chronic pain in ears and neck. T blasting. I pray for a day that it's better than the day before. Just one.
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