Tryn2BHopeful

Tryn2BHopeful

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  • Tryn2BHopeful
    My wife is scheduling our "vacation" all I can think about is if I can handle the drive...
    kingsfan
    When i drove coast to coast, I swapped between my 1of1 custom earplugs with 26db filters, and foam plugs with Bose QC25 over top depending on the road surface. I-70, east of Denver was incredibly loud for some reason.

    Neither pair of Peltors I have helped with road noise as much as the QC25s.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I don't usually wear plugs to drive, and didn't last time we went. That was one month after T started, I had no idea how far this rabbit hole would go. Also didn't have the hummm after I drive yet.
    4Grace
    @kingsfan - every time I hear about wearing earplugs I get depressed. My T is too loud with them on. Unbearable, painful and was too loud. The sound hurts with them on. So frustrating.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Heard this today - It's like having a cut on your body and helplessly watching yourself bleed to death.
    4Grace
    Don't forget that almost everything you do in attempt to heal that cut only makes it worse. :( Your only hope is to convince yourself to be happy to watch it bleed and hope it does not get worse.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I dedicated a year of my life to fighting diabetes and won... just to get Tinnitus. What luck I have.
    cyberspace
    Similar thing happened with me, was on house arrest for two years for a crime that I never committed, case finally ended, did microsuction the literal next day and this happened
    Marina Moon
    Never forget the battles you fought so hard to win! (i tell myself this whenever i feel down) You conquered one beast and you can another. Hang in here!
    Juliane
    House arrest for two years???
    Tryn2BHopeful
    So if my T is from hearing loss, why did it only show up after I took lexapro?!
    RunningMan
    Lexapro was probably a significant factor in yours as you suspected all along. I think Sertraline followed by Lexapro had some effect on my existing tinnitus with more intermittent chirping sounds (days into Sertraline) in my left ear, which have settled since being off Lexapro
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I went to the largest facility around here, could off me nothing more than a masker. I think I am done for.
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    They didn't even try to offer you TRT?
    4Grace
    I still go see different people for help but deep down I kinda already know. So sorry. Time may be are only hope.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan they didn't have it... I asked for a recommendation... was given ata.org... I mean... thanks? Now I need another referral to see someone else. So an apt to get that
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Left ear hurts today. T is blaring. No end in sight
    Utdmad89
    Do you have Hyperacusis?
    4Grace
    When pain happens together with T it sucks. I really feel for you. Words are getting hard to find. I love you guys. Really.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Utdmad89 I think I have had a mild form of it. Left ear acting up since someone accidentally yelled in my ear. Ibuprofen seemed to get rid of the pain oddly enough
    Tryn2BHopeful
    So I have mild hearing loss starting at 9k and dipping down to moderate at 14k and back to normal at 16k. I guess that's my problem?
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    I remember you mentioning the low frequency. I have LF tinnitus as well going back a few years in my left ear - thought it was real sounds originally. There are periods of days where it's minimal and other times annoyingly distracting. Seems so different than my mid and high freq sounds.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan So yeah, I thought I had beat the low frequency T, but it seems to be back again. It might be all of the noise from these holiday gatherings. My extended high frequency loss doesnt really explain the low frequency T, since the sound is usually where your loss is, unless I have loss less then 250Hz
    RunningMan
    Yeah, my low frequency came on separately and unknown cause. I remember going outside trying to figure out where that sound was coming from. Since it's left ear only, was later able to figure out it was tinnitus as it got more noticeable. Crazy. I had previous thought tinnitus was just ringing, like I already had!
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Holidays are feeling depressing, got my birthday wrapped up in there. I want to fight, I want to die, I want my life back, I want....<sigh>
    4Grace
    It's hard. So hard. This condition has changed us for ever. We just have to hope for a miracle. Maybe in a few years. Who knows.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Never in my life had I thought I would type those words into a forum. :( Anymore I am just Tryn2Survive. Little did I know when I joined this forum the extent of hell I would be subjected to. I look at my kids and wife and just push for another OK day with them. I want for nothing else.
    M
    My birthday is the 30th. I feel your pain.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Ugh, I hate that when I type on a keyboard my left ear flutters... its so strange. Why T, Why!?!?! WTF did we do to deserve this?!?
    RunningMan
    That sounds like TTTS. I've never had it from typing. Left ear fluttering I only seem to ever have from voices, and right ear thumps spontaneously occasionally regardless whether there is a sound. Fortunately, it seems to be minor issue for me compared to T & anxiety. Also still dealing with stomach discomfort after about 7 weeks of unhelpful Lexapro that I stopped a few weeks ago.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan Its slightly better today, bad spike yesterday, livable atm. Lexapro is some evil stuff IMO
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Sitting here with the dog in the dark with just the Christmas tree on drinking coffee. T going, I used to love the quiet in the mornings.
    4Grace
    I get the visual. The simple pleasures. If I got back to silence, I could do that for one week 24/7. Honest to God. Sounds beautiful. I guess, appreciate what we can still do with our new friend. :)
    SarahMLFlemmer
    I know. I'm sorry.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    One day at a time... 14987 to go. Atleast until the government stops paying Social security.
    BB23
    We think alike. Some 1000 days to go until BHV-7000 is out. I have a days counter app counting down the days.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Trying to live a normal life with this abnormal condition... what a cluster we are in. I really wonder how some of you do this every day.
    View previous comments…
    SarahMLFlemmer
    @Tryn2BHopeful I understand all too well. I am so sorry. Keep holding on. We're right here with you.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - that's the problem. Our new normal is not conducive with a wife that does not have a chronic illness. They would have to live as if they had T when you spend time together. They need to compromise a lot when spending time with us. New normal is for the entire family. Difference is we have no choice.
    Juliane
    Every day when I wake up and every night going to bed, I ask myself "How can this be my life?" I still don't get it. Almost one year in, and trauma is as fresh as when this hell began
    Tryn2BHopeful
    "Had I known would it of mattered" constantly enters my thoughts. There is no undo button on life, so might as well try to move forward.
    Juliane
    And most people will never be faced with such horrible regrets. I have lost my sympathy for people with no real problems. I simply no longer care.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Spent all morning preparing food for tomorrow. Barely heard my T. Was nice for a little. Finally stopped and there it is. <shrug>
    MindOverMatter
    Little things @Tryn2BHopeful Remember those. These moments are important with this process imo - as a reminder that, hey, things can be better. If only for a while. Small "wins" are important. You could even write them down in a journal, and look back on days that you struggle more.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Sucks. ❤️
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Omfg my neighbor with his industrial leaf blower all f'ng night.... it's not even his yard!
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Oh I noticed it before...it just annoys me more now
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I have a leaf blower that clocks in a 57db. Amazingly quiet at 190mph. Has a sound insulated inside
    4Grace
    Prior to T I went full electric for all lawn equipment. Blower, trimmer, lawnmower. Now even the electric is too loud for me. Go figure.
    SharonBell
    Is Trazadone an ototoxic drug? My audiologist looked it up and said it wasn't,but someone today told me it was. Please answer if you know.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    No idea, I would be Googling it just like you.
    BrOKeN_1
    Most drugs have a risk of ototoxity. Trazadone is no exception. Regardless I personally take Trazadone 50mg along with 2mg melatonin 3 to 4 times a week to help me.sleep through the day. I have not personally experienced a significant spike or increase in perception due to that drug. But admittedly results may vary.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Sometimes I wonder if I am absolutely sure it was Lexapro that caused my T. The timing lines up... but.... Does it even matter?!!
    View previous comments…
    MindOverMatter
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @MindOverMatter just wanted to thank you for many of your positive post for myself and others. While my future may be uncertain these kinds of post keep me looking forward and not back.
    MindOverMatter
    Thanks for your kind words @Tryn2BHopeful We are all in this together - one way or another. Its challenging to live this every day, but I try not to fight it. Personally Ive accepted the situation, and I adapt as best possible, and find joy in everyday life. Nothing is certain, as you say, but I choose to look forward. This doesn't mean some days are dimmed, but I do my best not to stay too long in "dark places"
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Referral denied by Neurology... I guess because I wanted to talk to them before perusing imaging of my head. Amazing.
    DeanD
    The one thing I learned when seeing 15 plus consultants this year, NHS and Private, is that NOONE wants to talk. Test and result is all anyone wants to do. Churn and burn with no time for chit chat.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Had an audiologist apt today... They even knew it was pointless, they didn't even charge me. Told me to listen to white noise all the time.
    View previous comments…
    kingsfan
    @Tryn2BHopeful probably for the best. My audiologist didn't have the equipment for extended high freq audiograms, so I went to another audiologist who did.

    I was doing really well with my tinnitus, but was just curious. Worst thing I could have done. They did more than what I had asked for, and being new to this at the time, didn't know any better.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @kingsfan If I may ask, which part of the "Extended" testing caused your worsening?
    kingsfan
    SharonBell
    I still have to listen to sound therapy all day and at night fan on low tv black screen playing rain or something and my phone on the bed because my head is so loud.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I do the same even though it doesn't seem to help much
    4Grace
    @SharonBell - sound therapy all the time. Me too. Noise traumas are unavoidable if you try and live. It's so loud I can't believe it. It never improves only worsens.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Sure is a bitch ain't it...
    SharonBell
    My husband and I went to grocery store earlier I don't like going any where by myself now and just riding in the car and all the noise in the grocery store makes mine louder.which my ears and head Buzzes-static 25/7, but it gets worse with noise.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I never realized how loud the grocery store was until this. I go now without earplugs and I am ok. It took a few trips to get used to it.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    F*ck. Habituation seems like a dream if its even possible at this level. ;-(
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Ugh, I want to give up, but I know I cant. I have to keep going not matter what hell I am experiencing. Ears feel warm inside, a first...
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    Reactive T is hard. It's much different. I wonder, how does T become reactive vs stable. For me personally I think it's a physically damaged ear that makes mine reactive.
    4Grace
    I have had the war ears. Sometimes they burn. I attribute to anxiety. My ear plugs also cause that sensation. It should go away.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    I got that the other day too but only in one ear.
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