Juliane

Juliane

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  • Juliane
    Maybe I should just accept that my life will never really be joyful again but maybe it will be tolerable at best?
    View previous comments…
    gameover
    @Wolfka Back to silence does not seem to work for me, I tried few times, though maybe not diligently enough. My T (and H) are just too severe it seems.
    gameover
    @Juliane. I do not know how but I started to sleep better with T. It is not like before (I never had sleep problems), but way better than in month 2-3. By month 4 it became much better. I tend to sleep too much again because it allow me to escape the torture. And then it messes up my sleep schedule, so not really helpful.
    Wolfka
    @Juliane I'm really Active during day, so in the evening I'm tired. Also during college I learned how to sleep even if there was a party in next room. This is kinda similar, but party is in my ear. Only noise in room is air cleaner which makes silent white noise. But its not running every night
    Juliane
    Why are we going through this? I don't understand it. It seems pointless. Suffering does not make me a better person. Not at all.
    gameover
    Not at all. I was angry. My anger is mostly gone, I am too weak for it anymore.
    Juliane
    2/3 I did it to myself would it be easier? No. I just don't think there is anyway to accept what T has reduced my life to. I just can't.
    Juliane
    1/3 That old annoying "acceptance". I don't think I can ever accept that my tinnitus worsened due to other people's thoughtlessness. If
    4Grace
    Hi Julian - how are you doing?
    Juliane
    @4Grace Thanks for asking. Thought I was doing a bit better but long meetings at work spiked my tinnitus. You know the kind of people who just keep on talking and talking.. I don't know what to do, I can't not take part in meetings. How are you doing?
    4Grace
    Sorry to hear. That's what happened to me at work. T was predominantly in my right ear. It has spread to my left ear. The worsening has me in a panic. Trying to stay calm.
    Juliane
    Has anyone here tried CoQ10?
    RunningMan
    I've been taking 100mg CoQ10 Ubiquinol (enhanced bioavailability and absorption) every evening for a a few years but sometimes had gaps where I didn't take it. I missed some doses recently. I can't say that I've noticed any change in my tinnitus. I started taking it because I had read it was recommended when taking a statin, which I started years back when my tinnitus was more mild.
    kingsfan
    yep. doesn't do anything.
    4alien2
    For 20 years I was surprised to see that you have had this, it really gives me strength to see people who have had this for years. That's a very long time and you are a very strong person and I admire you <3
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    My tinnitus started over 20 years ago also, and just slowly got worse over the years where white noise and fans no longer masked it, but it suddenly intensified to a new level in Feb 2022, which quickly become distressing causing anxiety, depression, and greater insomnia. Not much change in tinnitus since, but now TTTS and hyperacusis. I would take the previous 20 years of tinnitus over the last 18 months tinnitus.
    Juliane
    4Grace
    @RunningMan - wow. My heart goes out to you soooo much. Honest to God I am worsening daily. I am always staying in places where my T is at least partially masked and i think its making me worse.
    Juliane
    3/3 accepting. I am more a neurotic perfectionist. A wrong color or smell puts me off. This is the worst condition I could have gotten....
    View previous comments…
    Lurius
    I am the same. I've been trying to change and become more accepting, but there is just no way in hell I'm in accepting this. I actually look down on people who accept this.
    gameover
    Same.
    4Grace
    Interesting. We all have some sort of OCD. At the moment once again I don't see what coming out of this storm looks like .I went out to eat yesterday no protection had desert. I have a new angry T today. T is Angry as hell!
    Juliane
    2/3 to fix it. BAD combo with tinnitus that cannot be fixed and requires patience and acceptance. I am highly impatient and not very
    Juliane
    1/3 I feel that my own personality type might prevent my healing. I am a problem solver at heart, always looking for what's wrong and how
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    @Juliane I will go over the impossible for ever until I find a solution. What scares me is even if this sound was not too loud, it might still drive me crazy…. and it's loud… and getting worse
    Juliane
    4Grace
    I feel very tired of pretending things are going to be okay. Sorry I am just being honest. I wish I could say my truth here. I can't … I see older people in peace walking around and making plans and get depressed. I feel like anyone that does not have T is blessed.
    Juliane
    If one is living a reasonable healthy and balanced life with no excesses, I strongly believe that only time can improve or even heal T
    Juliane
    I have this feeling that my life energy has diminished, even before T worsening. I am definitely not the same vibrant person
    4Grace
    Same ): maybe it will take a long time (sucks I know) but we might get better. You never know. Keep the hope for a better day :)
    brixenbrixen
    I changed too in a more sober person
    Juliane
    If the ego was dead, would T still be a problem?
    4Grace
    Great question. T probably forces you to have to let go of your ego to some degree. I think we would be better off if we could let of the ego with or without tinnitus. If I had to be honest, it would probably help a lot, but unfortunately, still an uphill battle.
    4Grace
    Was doing some reading regarding the ego. Someone said something like this. Every religion, i some way, teaches we must die before we are afraid to die. Suffering can be the only thing that destabilizes any ignorance and or arrogance. Suffering defined as anything that is not in our control. This hits home for me. I have noticed here that so many here feel bad for times when they were not kind. Incredible.
    Juliane
    MindOverMatter
    Yes, in many ways @Juliane . Everything worsens with stress and anxiety, and those are obstacles needed to bypass in order to accept (for now) and look forward. To "heal", to habituate, or whatever you may call it. This is my experience too. Its not the key to everything, but being calm within (no matter the buzzing) is vital.
    Juliane
    @MindOverMatter I just don't know if I can do it. It is too difficult, and I am too old and tired to go through such a challenge again. Would you say you have found that inner calm?
    MindOverMatter
    I've had tinnitus for just about 20 yrs. Relapse in 2019 after being fully habituated. I have more and more days where I am able to find back to inner calm again. But this is an ever ongoing process. Feeling blessed when I have good days, and can find peace within. It is never too late @Juliane and always hope. No matter age and how you feel today. Today is not tomorrow.
    Juliane
    Had a few decent nights in a row and now a horrible one again. T lets you think things are improving just to crush you again. The fun!
    cjbhab
    This is exactly how it is for me too. Sorry you are going through this.
    Juliane
    @cjbhab Thank you! This condition really pushes us to the edge.... :-( Sorry you are struggling too.
    Juliane
    I have always been an anxious person, but T sends me into fullblown paranoia. It's the loss of coping strategies
    BrOKeN_1
    I also have generalized anxiety as well. I get it. Finally accepting t as an annoyance not a threat is what gradually stopped the fight or flight symptoms. I've been on the endurance wagon since.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    I know. ❤️ Hang in there!
    Juliane
    One day my log will have something to say about all this.
    ECP
    I like your reference to The Log Lady from "Twin Peaks." : ) Also, I've been to Snoqualmie, Washington, where they filmed the show, and I can vouch for how quiet and peaceful it is.
    Juliane
    @ECP Sounds amazing. Would love to go there myself :-)
    Juliane
    Was considering trying milk thistle to detox, then found TT post saying it made T worse. Thank God for this life saver community!
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    @Juliane Thank you once again for your kind words. How are you doing day to day? Were you able to continue at the new job? Sleep? It sounds like you were able to secure a new job while suffering from T. That's something you should be proud of.. not easy. So much kindness in your posts. I regret that I think I became a little sour :) If you can believe it, I once was the opposite.lol- We will get back one day.
    Juliane
    @4Grace Thank you too for your kindness! I have had two nights of decent sleep which felt like a miracle. But last night was horrible again. Yesterday was a stressful day so might be a connection there. I am just so tired of how life has become. As for my new job I am trying to hang on but must admit that it's very challenging
    Juliane
    So much kindness in your posts too! Hope you find relief now and then? Was so happy to read that you are sleeping again
    Juliane
    God please help me sleep. I am putting my faith in you.
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    @Juliane I am not sure why I have never seen your question. Sorry! Yes. I took that for 4 days. It did not help with me with sleep and it really aggregated my tinnitus. I think I am a unique case. I tried 3 sleep meds and nothing worked. I had insomnia for 5 months. The only thing that worked for me was Mirtazapine. It's used off label for sleep.
    4Grace
    @Juliane - I believe it is the most prescribed AD for patients with Tinnitus. As you may already know most meds are not good for tinnitus. I spoke with the president of Tinnitus Canada and a doctor from the leading organization for tinnitus in the US a few months ago. Organization in Canada is fairly inactive.
    4Grace
    The organization in Canada advised me to take Mirt. 2 doctors also prescribed me the same. If nothing else works and you are stuck between a rock and a hard place I think this med is your best bet. As always ask your doctor. The lower the dose the better for sleep. I took it for 6 weeks. This included me getting on it and tapering off slowly.
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