Juliane

Juliane

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  • Juliane
    Can't work. Can't sleep. Close to giving up.
    Juliane
    Waking up and being able to experience silence however shortlived proves to me that T is very physical and not related to state of mind.
    View previous comments…
    Juliane
    @Jupiterman Exactly and it delays the development of real treatments as I see it.
    S
    @Juliane Agreed - psychiatrist told me I was "fatalistic" when describing my fears of the future. Audiologist said my symptoms were mostly from anxiety after my ears were destroyed by a 100+ db mri. It's upsetting.
    Juliane
    @scared8 OMG! So sorry to hear that :-( No wonder so many of us feel horrible when this is the "help" we get! Pure gaslighting to cover up their own incompetence when it comes to this illness!
    Juliane
    Woke up at 5.30 with no tinnitus. I lied still for about 10-15 mins. No sound of it! Fell asleep and woke at 8.30 and it was back :-(
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Joe Cuber I dont know that I would want to go back to bed! I have had moments as well where I was kinda asleep but not quite that I have thought Mr. T quieted down. It always comes back though as soon as I wake up.
    Juliane
    @Joe Cuber Thanks for clarifying. That is so advanced! Great to hear that you primarily have quiet and mild days. Wonder what "type" of tinnitus that is...
    Juliane
    @Joe Cuber Arh stress... how do we avoid it. I wish I knew.
    Juliane
    "An end does not have to be THE end. I must turn the page and start a new." (from "The Book of Healing" by Najwa Zebian)
    Juliane
    I could live with my high frequency crickets, I would not even complain about those. It is the low humming drone sound that destroys me.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Juliane I will say that when I am stressed more I have heard that sound, almost motor like... I didn't hear it one bit on vacation.
    MindOverMatter
    @Juliane Yes, it can be anxiety induced (typically the low, humming drone type of t).
    Juliane
    @MindOverMatter I have been terribly stressed for years and I guess the nervous system does not know how to tell stress from anxiety... So could definitely be it. I am working on calming my nervous system but finding it hard.
    Anthony2019
    Hearing aids have substantially reduced the ringing in my ears. If your hearing loss is severe, they may help. You will know within the first 10 minutes of trying them.
    Juliane
    Feeling so god damn sorry for myself. I am not a risk taker. On the contrary, I am super careful. This is pure black luck. Again. Cursed.
    View previous comments…
    Juliane
    @Tryn2BHopeful I am so sorry to hear that :-( Has your T improved at all?
    Juliane
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Juliane I would like to think that it has... but tbh I don't know. I seem to have lost the breaking up static hiss and have maybe a slightly lower volume hiss that is constant. Reactivity seems better but not 100%. I am fortunate that I am still able to do most of the things I need to, albeit with ear plugs at times. I try to stay positive, but it doesn't always work.
    Juliane
    My tinnitus is getting worse. Not better. I have no more hope.
    Mo8409
    Keep having hope. It will get better. Sometimes you'll have bad spikes for no reason that can last weeks.
    Juliane
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Amazing, and to think 38 years later you get the same answer from an ENT that you did then. Hopefully this Shore Device is effective!
    Juliane
    I of course have no clue but seems she is not too bothered by her T. Perhaps it is mild.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Well... if she had it since she was 9 she might of more easily habituated to it. I have known 43 years of normal hearing and suddenly I have this issue, my brain isn't having it!
    Juliane
    ...several flights in a short period of time, local anesthesia as I had a mole removed... My GOD have I put my body under stress.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Me too.
    Juliane
    So frustrating to think about what might have caused this hell... when it is too late to change...
    Juliane
    Constantly going over the events that came before worsening of my T: STRESS, COVID, dental surgery, firecracker trauma, loud party...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Unfortunately there is nothing you can do that will undo any of those things.... You can only move forward in some way.
    Juliane
    I know... but what I would give for a time machine right now
    Juliane
    I cant do this. There is no pattern or logic to this. My life is worthless. I have nothing to look forward to. I am done.
    MindOverMatter
    @Juliane Yes, you can do this. Although there often isn't any logic of pattern to t/h, there is great chance of you feeling better down the road. Acceptance comes with time when your brain is able to shift focus. When this happens, t will fade more into the background. Little by little. However, it will take time and patience. You are worthy, and there is still hope.
    Ngo13
    Better days will be ahead.
    Juliane
    WHY did my tinnitus develop from high frequent squeal in my right ear to adding a humming sound sounding like it is more in the head???
    tpj
    Because tinnitus is a vile creature that does whatever the hell it wants. Sorry l couldn't be more helpful.
    Mo8409
    Mine can change location and tune depending on the day. Typically it goes back after a day or 2. I hope yours does.
    Juliane
    Having a friend over tonight. It is Friday night. Should I open that bottle of wine when it might spike my tinnitus? We need to live too
    Juliane
    Everything I have worked so hard for was a waste of time. My life is a cruel joke. I cannot go on. What is the point?
    View previous comments…
    twa
    Hey Juliane, have you been dealing with T/H very long?
    Juliane
    @twa Yes for twenty tears! However I now consider my prior tinnitus mild. It worsened in January 2023 and I am really struggling....
    Juliane
    @Mo8409 I guess you are right... But to be worth it life also needs to be joyful... would you not say?
    Juliane
    I cannot live like this. This is too much. Had I known my life would turn out like this I would have thought it was a bad joke. I am done.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    ;( ugh. We're gonna get through this!
    Juliane
    @SarahMLFlemmer I so hope that 6-12 months from now we can both look back at this period of our lives with T as something that is behind us and no longer important....
    Juliane
    Horrible night with very little sleep. I should not be drinking coffee but without it I am not gonna make it through the day... :-(
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Green tea might work as well. I love my coffee though. Hope things get better
    Juliane
    Love my Coffee too!
    Juliane
    Watched a music documentary on low volume and even so my tinnitus started spiking and coming up with new sounds. What's happening to me??
    Juliane
    Am I the only one who can't stand when people complain about non-issues? T does that to me. I have less patience with first world problems..
    View previous comments…
    Juliane
    @Leila I understand. I also care much less about what people think about me being weird. E.g. when I refuse to enter noisy cafés etc. I don't even want to explain myself. I am the one with a health problem so I call the shots. Is how I see it. :-))
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Its all relative I suppose, but things that seemed to matter before seem more trivial now.
    gameover
    Right on.
    Juliane
    My depression feels like a black hole of pain. I can't take it anymore. I know other people have it worse. But I am not strong enough.
    Going Nuts
    They did put me on Ativan but I only use them when I have a panic/anxiety attacks and I usually just throw a few under my tongue and let them dissolve and it usually does the trick. I haven't had any problems with the Ativan affecting my T in a negative way. Hope this helps...might not be for you.
    Going Nuts
    My doctor tried to medicate me with Duloxetine but I refused when they said it changed my brain chemistry. I went to see them about a year ago because the T caught up with me and I was having panic attacks and hyperventilating and just wanted it away from me(as we all do).
    Going Nuts
    As bad as I hate to Welcome you here I guess your like the rest of us and are desperate to find relief...That being said, Hi, and Welcome to the house of pain. I too am having a bad day (when I dwell on the T) and my mind over matter isn't working today(MOM= mind over matter...if you don't mind it don't matter...LOL). i couldnt post my whole message about the medication thing. Will follow up
    Juliane
    Thank you for the welcome. Much appreciated.
    Juliane
    Do all of us T sufferers share some kind of cosmic bond or is everything in this world random, meaningless coincidences? Bad day today
    View previous comments…
    Ryan Scott
    I do, have been working remote since my onset. But they want me to go back in the office soon, so I am currently looking for a new job working remote. The long drives to the office and all the unknowns are just too much for me. Will you be in office or remote?
    Juliane
    @Ryan Scott I know exactly what you mean. I have been allowed to start the new job working remotely "for now". Like you, I cannot bear going to the office, so I need to find a way to make the remote option permanent. Or find another job that allows it. It just sucks so much having to deal with this on top of everything. I hope you find your remote dream job :-)
    Juliane
    Juliane
    Need a walk but get exhausted by the thought of busy noisy streets and ear plugs :-( Should however get some exercise
    kingsfan
    You have any hiking trails near you?
    Juliane
    @kingsfan Not really. But there is a forest nearby I sometimes go to. Might try that again.
    kingsfan
    I enjoy hiking, especially in the early morning when no other humans are on the trail.. just me and the mountain lions. I get the opportunity to take out my earplugs and enjoy the world as intended.
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