Juliane
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  • This whole planet is toxic! No wonder we are all suffering. 8 billion people on earth, still so many are lonely. Why?
    Another day of Surviving. What happened to living?
    BB23
    The old me died 8 months ago. Doctors with their miracle pills killed him.
    4Grace
    Who could have ever imagined such a condition exists. We are seem to be in a similar boat.
    Never thought I could be this heart-broken. And at the same time I am aware that things can always get worse. What a horrible horrible life
    L along the way
    Pfffuh.. i feel you.. i find this all an absolute nightmare too... hope it may get better with time to have some peace & quiet again some day... telling myself daily, it is possible to recover with time
    cjbhab
    This is the worst part of T.. knowing it can get permanently worse at any moment for any or no reason.
    Is this the real life? Does feel fake
    crescentsky
    I'm still hoping maybe I'll wake up tomorrow lol
    Tryn2BHopeful
    It does doesn't it. I keep thinking 6 months ago I was perfectly fine. Took the meds I was prescribed to help and woke up, literally at 3am to a never ending nightmare. Some shit isn't it.
    Juliane
    @Tryn2BHopeful It is just horrible and I am so sorry for us. I don't think I can ever learn to live with this
    Might sound stupid but considering starting smoking again after 10+ years. I mean why not? Does it make T worse? Any experiences?
    gameover
    Just don't. It's awful, poisoning your body will not make T better.
    4Grace
    @Juliane - I smoked a long time ago too and was thinking the same. No question it will make you feel worse. Don't do it. I am so sorry to hear you are not doing better. I really am because I know how you feel. ❤️
    What is awaiting me when I leave this world. Have I been good enough? What is good enough? Can't go on, not strong enough
    Juliane
    @cjbhab That is good enough for me
    cjbhab
    imagine if heaven is real and when you get there you still have tinnitus haha.
    Juliane
    @cjbhab I find that unlikely since tinnitus exists in our brain and ears, aka the body. Fortunately, the body, and all its stupid degeneration, dies when we do :-) But what do I know
    At this lowest point in my life, my heart is overflooded with love for all I was given, the good days shine brighter than the bad
    I feel so alone and I can't bear the thought of leaving my boyfriend all alone. I just can't. But how can we live for other people?
    I honestly don't want to be in this world anymore. It is too much, too much evil, too much torture. I just wanted a peaceful life
    I am approaching some kind of limit for what I can endure. Value you all so much. You have helped me emotionally and I am forever grateful
    Cmspgran
    Where are you up to with it all?
    Juliane
    @Cmspgran Just not coping at all at the moment. Wish I had better news. How are you?
    So Juliane since yours is noise induced do you have hair cell damage? I have sensorineural hearing loss and tinnitus and hair cell damage in extenddd high frequency. I think that's my mine is buzzing-static, electricity which now it is so much louder and I don't know why but there's no way I can deal if it gets worse, it hard to deal now as it is.
    Can yall wear earplugs? I asked my audiologist how come my tinnitus is so different that I can't wear earplugs and everybody else I have talked to with tinnitus can. They close my ears up so the high frequency in my ears the Buzzing-static and my head gets so much louder.
    SharonBell
    Tryn28Hopeful yeah I know it's not gonna make the T less, but I understand what you say about it being louder. How do ear plugs do your T? Does it make yours louder to?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @SharonBell I rarely wear ear plugs TBH. Honestly I would have to say its pretty neutral, on one hand its louder because I am isolating other sounds, on the other its not being as reactive from the sounds around me.
    4Grace
    Honest, ear plugs or muffs are now painful. It makes my already unbearable T super loud. I wish someone could hear it. Honest to God I feel like I'm a solid 11 out of 10. SOLID. With ear muffs I feel like the sound of my T is spiking me. It hurts. Feels like a lazed is cutting the inside of my ear. Man.,, I'm trying so hard. Make progress but it's getting worse,
    Don't turn on your TVs. It is crazy out there. Seems the whole world is suffering
    TheCapybara
    There's really no avoiding the bad news anywhere. Social media, it's just all negativity.
    Robster
    Main reason why I stopped watching the news. It's beyond depressing.
    Same thing everyday this noise in my ears and head I'm so sick of it. If I could get a break but it never stops. Noises make it worse. I hate to go anywhere why can't this buzzing-static in my head be a different noise. I hate it!! Don't know what to do.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    There is no getting away from it. It sucks. Your best option at this moment in time is learning to accept it and practice cbt. Fighting it will get you no where.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - I have honestly become better and not fighting it. A small amount of progress. The confidence has me going out but I'm getting worse. Feeling better is making my T worse. :(
    Juliane do you know what your tinnitus is caused from? They said, mine was noise induced. I have hair cell damage. I have SNHL. I thought you said, you had hyperacusis.
    Dream of "soft exit": me on a beach in the Carribean, a few cocktails and then 20 sleeping pills before swimming out in moonlit ocean....
    object16
    not supposed to provide any advice regarding your last idea. I've done a lot of reading on the internet how to go.
    object16
    But obviously I've already had similar thoughts (for years); my preference is either leave the funds to my kids or make charitable donation rather than waste on airfare.
    object16
    I actually can't even tolerate air travel, so I would still hang on if I were you. There may still be hope.
    Dear T & H community. How do you handle social life? Do you cancel everything or still see people? I find this so hard.
    Might have overdone b6 vitamin... had no idea it was neurotoxic! Is that why I have new sounds? Just can't win with this condition, can we?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I stopped taking supplements of any kind and try to eat decent and let my body balance itself out... has that done anything... no idea... but I don't worry about a supplement causing problems... so that's a win I guess.
    meds like mirtazapine, clonazepam, Seroquel can help with sleep issues, I find that if I manage to sleep, my brain does a bit of recovery and recuperation. Meds are Band-Aid, I know, but can help cope and promote sleep.
    Hi Juliane, I often feel the same way. I'm not sure what keeps me going either. All I can offer is tomorrow might be a better day. So many times I'm so devastated, and then tomorrow ends up a better day. I've had days where I just cry and cry and cry, finally I've run out of tears, nothing much has been accomplished.
    Sorry for rambling. Despairing fast and badly. I am not strong enough for torture without end. Why would I be? Hating life
    4Grace
    Please ramble all you want if it helps you. That's why we are here. I am so sorry this happened to you. You were wearing muffs. You should be okay. Some of the spike may have been caused because of the anxiety.
    Juliane
    But not the peltors, less heavy muffs only silencing with 26db. Thanks for answering ❤️
    I no longer believe that this universe wants me to stay alive. I feel hated by it, abused and tortured
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