Marina Moon

Marina Moon

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  • Marina Moon
    I went to my first physical therapy lesson today! I am sore, but not in any more pain. I need to strenghten my pelvic floor and core.
    Marina Moon
    I hate to say this, but i cried this morning, hard. I give myself full permission to cry on april 1st, until then stay positive and just think about what i need to do to get through this.
    Marina Moon
    If you're suffering from a TMJ problem then please read "The TMJ Healing Plan" by Cynthia Peterson. It's the best TMD book out there. Truly.
    Marina Moon
    Had an evaluation with the physical therapist today (details in the comments)
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    I told the PT that i have scioliosis and he said i probably had it for 15 years without noticing it. Also that i have foward head posture to which he responded 'don't we all' I wonder how many people he has seen with forward head posture and were fine with it, because mine is just mild, how could mild forward head be so bad? Nobody's posture is perfect!
    Marina Moon
    TMD is very overwhelming and makes me want to scream in horror.
    Marina Moon
    I already knew that doctors are on a time crunch when seeing patients. I don't like that, but what i didn't know is that the computer will lock the doctor out, of whatever program they're using, when they go beyond their alotted time with a patient. Forcing them to keep things short. i don't like the system anymore, it's wrong, messed up, and evil T_T
    Marina Moon
    Because my pain hasn't gotten better, I will be starting physical therapy next month. I really hope this helps me...
    View previous comments…
    cullenbohannon
    Its hard when family doesn't take you seriously, a mental health professional may help you to process what you're experiencing in a more manageable way, and can allow you to better heal your body in the long run.
    Marina Moon
    @cullenbohannon Thank you for reaching out. It's just a really hard time with so many factors at play. All i pray for is better days and healing. It's the most loneliest experience I have ever faced in my life. Sometimes my parents mistake me being less vocal as healing, but I'm just getting so tired of speaking, and i'm crying more.
    Marina Moon
    @cullenbohannon There are definitely benefits in bettering one's mental health with professionals, and necessary when life becomes so turbulent, something i may consider in the future. But now i really need to get the pain down first. Though venting online is sometimes a good outlet, i can just let out my thoughts and then forget about them for a while. Thank you again!
    Marina Moon
    In the book i'm reading the main character gets tinnitus and she wonders if its ever going to fade. I felt that.
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    Just seeing the above / brilliant. Tinnitus should be learned in schools. Kids scream at the top of their lungs in playgrounds. It's insane.
    Marina Moon
    @4Grace It's scary how even basic life skills aren't taught in schools. It would be great if cooking, nutrition, and health were taught in schools!
    4Grace
    @Marina Moon - so correct. I don't think you can learn this type of suffering. I would have felt like it would not happen to me.
    Marina Moon
    My left arm is hurting more, shoulder blade to hand. Now to left leg. Always hurting. Getting exhausted. Tired of pain. Why am i trying
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    @xLuchiaaa I have tingling sensations too, mainly in my ankles and feet, and occasionally down my arms. I went to a physioptherapist and she ordered an MRI of my cervical spine, i'm getting it done on monday. she perscribed me muscle relaxers but they don't help, but neither does advil. I really feel so clueless who to go to, even my physiotherapist wants imaging done before she sends me to anyone else.
    xLuchiaaa
    I have that too! Is it only Tingling or sometimes also hurting?

    How did it go? @Marina Moon
    Marina Moon
    @xLuchiaaa Just tingling, I don't have pain in my ankles/feet. The results of my MRI were normal, expect i have a 'very minimal disc bulge' between C5-6. I guess that explains why my neck was crackling so much in the summer...it still cracks but now as much. I have a follow up appoitment next month with my physiotherapist to discuss it. My T is still the same, the MRI didn't worsen it!
    Marina Moon
    rant ahead...
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    I honestly feel like i'm being punished. Like i'm being left alone to slowly whither away and die.
    Marina Moon
    i really just need to shut up and chill. There is NO GAIN from me getting upset, but I can't help it, i feel myself already walking by the edge of the cliff. WHO CAN LIVE WITH DAILY PAIN AND STILL BE ALRIGHT!? I'm so done. I'm angry, fustrated, miserable. The old me is lost.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I feel that. Some days the old me manages to peak through.
    Marina Moon
    McDonalds fries used to be golden, cripsy, and DELICIOUS, but now they're just bland, cold, and taste like cardboard.
    Marina Moon
    i think i'm delulu. I just need to be calm, even if i'm in pain (which is always fu-) then i have to be chill about it. Just chill.
    Marina Moon
    Since the past 2 weeks i have been having a 'breakdown' at least once a day, so it's really important that i remain level headed and calm, in an effort to control my pain and my mental health.
    Marina Moon
    I managed to do some productive things, like organizing all my meds/and everything that goes in my 'tmj kit.' i need to organize my medical files so they're not just lying around scattered on my desk.
    Marina Moon
    I was able to open my mouth wide after eating dinner, but then i started hearing a rubber type sound in my right tmj. Fuck.
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful Looking back feels dizzying, overwhelming, and is making me obsessive over finding out what's WRONG. Which is only making me more stressed out. Yet my first instinct is to go foward, keep living. The ability for humans to endure is both powerful and scary, no matter how dire people want to keep going. idk, that realization just hit me this past year. Same, I hope we get relief this year.
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful I think there is some comfort in looking back, like i feel that if i find the source of the problem, and find solutions to address it then i have more control over my situation, my future, which gives me some peace. That's how my brain rationalizes it lol
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Whatever helps!
    Marina Moon
    2023 taught me not to believe in love anymore.
    gameover
    Love truly exists, I can assure you of that. Hope you will heal and find love and happiness. You're young kid, you have better chance to heal that some of us, like me closing on five decades on this earth.
    Marina Moon
    So my dad pretended to be me and made fun of my pain. I can't stop crying. Why is it like this why is this happening, I can't anymore
    View previous comments…
    gameover
    What a stinking pile of shit. Hope you will get better, move out and move on. Never talk to that POS ever.
    Lurius
    @Marina Moon If it helps you, writing novels is what I was going to do as well and I haven't written much since onset. I was able to write a few xmas cards and some synopsises but getting back to what I was doing is difficult with the kind of concentration I require.
    Lurius
    Your dad sounds like a psychopath. Best case scenario, his empathy is very low.
    Marina Moon
    "You're getting better!" No, i just don't have the strength to complain like i used to lol
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    What's worse is that I laugh at all her prodding jokes at me, i hate myself for it.
    Marina Moon
    Every Christmas, I have to nodge her a little to make me a christmas card. I'd always make her one. I didn't this year because i'm so tired and in pain. She didn't make me anything. Not that i care, because it would have felt cruel if she did. She writes in her cards that i'm her best friend and she will always have my back and never abandon me. Those are all lies, I see that now.
    Marina Moon
    i tried telling my mom that when the TMJ is inflamed it can affect the eustachian tubes. I thought she was actually going to listen to me, instead she just rolled her eyes.

    We were packing my lunch and she handed me a whole apple. I can't bite into apples. I can't open my mouth wide, i'd just slobber all over it.
    Marina Moon
    Lord, give me strength like Harry and Marv after surviving Christmas with Kevin.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Amen!
    Juliane
    I just watched that movie with literally no sound on my pc. Thank God for subtitles. If I could just be deaf with NO T at all, I'd take it gladly. People can get by with sign language
    Marina Moon
    @Juliane watch it in whatever way that makes you the most comfortable. tbh home alone is loud with all the screaming from harry and marv and just about every death trap Kevin sets up! I was thinking of learning sign language so I don't have to speak.
    Marina Moon
    T update (details in comments)
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    i wish i can rip this part of myself away from me, because I'm not me anymore, not really.
    Juliane
    My T also changes with my body position - standing up / lying down. So weird. What does that mean?
    Marina Moon
    @Juliane i also noticed that when I lay down flat and swallow T gets briefly louder during that action. Literally swallowing…. I have no idea why, but there has to be a muscle component to this, something is tense, out of alignment, something!!
    Marina Moon
    Everytime i lay down flat there is a horrible crack from my teeth or my jaw joints idk but it freaks me out every time without fail.
    Marina Moon
    "Point to where it hurts." ENDLESS DAYS OF THIS STUPID QUESTION YOU KNOW WHERE IT HURTS, ask me one more time & i'll start throwing punches.
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful I understand how you feel and I feel like i developed the same sentiment about 'lesser' issues, it makes me feel less empathetic, like i'm a grinch all the time. It's only because we're suffering so much, not because we're inherently like this. We're good people, but we're just in pain.
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful I got into an argument with my sister about the heater in our room, she gets angry that i turn it off (because the sound makes my T go up, so i prefer it off at night), but i just tell her to either freeze or use another blanket, so i'm indifferent to either of us becoming popsicles come winter.
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful The wierd thing about my T is that it got better while my pain got worse. No one has explained to me why that is the case. Pretty much all my focus goes to my pain. I feel selfish, because i should be grateful in one way because T made me cry and go insane so many days, but now it's pain which has the same effects. I still don't like my T tho.
    Marina Moon
    Feeling like crap, life is miserable, living is exhausting, i'm a shell of my former self, but I want dunkin donuts munchkins...
    T
    Yum, sounds good... sorry you're feeling so miserable.
    Marina Moon
    @tpj I'm praying for better days to come, but I did eat an apple turnover and it was delicious!
    Marina Moon
    I had my MRI on monday and T is fine/the usual. My pain is the same, i guess. Subluxations in both my TMJs and i hate my life and want to d-
    Tryn2BHopeful
    :(
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful I just want to be okay again. My days are all the same now, and i'm a loss for what to do. My fam is always too slow to act, and now it infuriates me, but now i wonder if any help would really do me good. Pain goes up when i speak, so i'm trying not to say anything, it feels like basic things are all being taken away from me lol
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Maybe it would maybe it wouldn't. It's not my decision but it seems like there are treatment options for you. You are so young and would likely respond well to them earlier rather than later. Try to stay strong!
    Marina Moon
    My MRI is next week & my mom said that unless I have a tumor, I won't be receiving treatment. Do I pray for something terrible or go insane
    View previous comments…
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Marina Moon
    @SarahMLFlemmer My neurologist ordered the MRI of my jaw, and brain (I haven't done that one yet) but i need an oral surgeon or the radiologist to explain the results better to me and if i need some oral appliance like a splint, and to meet a physiatrist who specfically treats TMD. My dad wants to me try chondroitin glycosaminoglycan for a month because it's supposed to help the joints.
    Marina Moon
    @SarahMLFlemmer My parents don't want to put me on an orthotic that can structurally change my bite when the bite is not the root of the problem but something else, like my neck/back/weak muscles etc. Because an orthotic could make my problems worse. When I went to a consultation with a dentist (he did my sister's braces, I never had braces) he admitted without admitting that braces are one cause of TMD .
    xLuchiaaa
    May I ask what you first symptoms were because I was reading that you also have jaw symptoms ?
    View previous comments…
    xLuchiaaa
    @Marina Moon That last part I have the same ! Like my drums are moving
    Marina Moon
    @xLuchiaaa I really hate this symptom, sometimes it's better and other times it's worse. I read that when the TMJ is inflamed it can inflame the eustachian tubes and the squishy sounds is mucus and when there is alot it changes the pressure in the middle ear, so that's why sound is reverberating off our eardrums. I hope i explained it well!
    xLuchiaaa
    Sometimes it's also very loud, It scares me like that my drum is going to burst it feels like then :( I understand you, How did they diagnosed TMJ by you ? Today I have my second appointment with the physiotherapist. The first appointment was just talking and looking and she tried to gentle massage the sides of my skull around my ears but that was hurting so much over my head like someone was pressing needles
    Marina Moon
    It's been 8 months since the onset of my condition. So much change in T, pain, symptoms, and mental wellbeing. Everyday is survival mode.
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    @TheCapybara The past few days have been better painwise. I started taking Advil and am using hot compresses more, while stopping the exercises i was doing because i think it was putting too much strain on my body. I'm still in this mild state of tension/soreness, and careful not to laugh or talk too much to relax my facial muscles, but it's better than before!
    Marina Moon
    @SarahMLFlemmer I'm trying <3 The pain has gotten a little better, only because i stopped exercises and am taking Advil.
    Marina Moon
    @4Grace Hoping things get better for all of us too.
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