Tryn2BHopeful

Tryn2BHopeful

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  • Tryn2BHopeful
    Sadly I knew I would be back here some day. That it would get worse eventually, but I hoped it wouldn't. A simple thing I thought, a middle school orchestra concert, it shouldn't be to bad, and it wasn't until 4 days later. I still don't know if this is a spike or the new normal. Somewhat milder day yesterday, followed a terrible day, with reactivity and my brain just doesn't want to deal with it.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Well a positive if there is one to pull from this... The distortion or sound when I speak has gone away about 95%. T is still more reactive and piercing than before and its been humming in silence like crazy (that is an ongoing off and on thing), hopefully that's temporary as well... only time will tell. Don't get complacent is all I can say, no matter how well you think your doing it take minutes to undo it all.
    4Grace
    Hey - happy holidays to you and your family. Same thing happened to me yesterday. This disorder is insane. I am mostly isolated. Every time I do anything there is a price. Keep well my friend.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Had a good run and was doing well... but this disorder seems to always get you. Ears are sensitive again and new sound in my right ear when I speak. My fault I got complacent. I hope this is just a spike and will improve.
    4Grace
    Is it possible to not get worse? Is it possible to live being carful around noise all the time. Why do some people have T and can go to concerts. The frustration is insane.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Tbh I was doing better. Sound tolerance was much improved with less bad days and more ok ones. Went to my daughter's orchestra concert and it seemed ok until a couple days later. Having back and forth days every since along with distortion to loud and sharp sounds in my right ear. I am sad to be back but support from non sufferers is impossible
    Tryn2BHopeful
    1 year ago today this started. A journey to hell, hope I can make it back. Wishing everyone the best.
    Thizzle
    Have you had any improvements
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Thizzle some... in terms of sounds sensitivity and mental well being. T is still there, still varies, and still drives me crazy sometimes. I wish it were gone or less, but that doesn't seem to be going happen.
    gameover
    I remember when you joined. Not too long after me. Couple fucking pills did you in. WTF...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Still alive. T still sucks most of the time. Hope everyone is doing as well as they can.
    RunningMan
    Good to hear from you. Yes, it sucks and isn't getting any better, nor sleep or anxiety.
    Higo
    How was the break from this site?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I had a "good" run of days. With some terrible ones like today. I do plan to limit my time here.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    This site is to much. My T sucks but I don't wish to die. I understand the pain here but positivity and hope is all I got going for me.
    View previous comments…
    weehiru
    It might be for the best that you take some breaks from this site if it is negatively affecting you. Do whatever you need to help yourself heal with this. Rooting for you @Tryn2BHopeful :)
    4Grace
    So sorry. I keep deleting my profile for that reason. Not to have it linger. Please do not be discouraged about my posts. It's only my story. Love you. I'm sorry.
    RunningMan
    @4Grace Yes, I was responding to your profile post to me a little while ago (about reading), and when I submitted, it said the post no longer existed, and all your posts were gone. I was going to ask if you used Mirt before and mention SSRI's didn't work out for me since you had mentioned those as well. I was hoping for a wonderful retirement also.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Need to exercise again, but I am so beaten down by T most days of the week I just cant get motivated to do it.
    RunningMan
    I do better in nicer weather, but the bad part is that my tinnitus intensity spikes during and after exercise for hours.
    4Grace
    You're posting less which is a good improvement. Maybe start with some nice walks. They are good in so many ways.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @4Grace I dont much see the point in posting much anymore. Mostly when I have a really bad day. T still sucks, I have had some improvements here or there. It tends to go back and forth.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful hello long time. Sorry to bother you. Are you still on low Mirt? I was thinking of taking 3.5 mg tonight. I remember it helped my T but may have worsened my H. If you are still on it do you find it helps. I remember you were having a hard time getting off of a low dose.Any reason. Thank you
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    Thank you what happens when you try to get off?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I cant sleep and become more anxious. Takes about 3 days. Of course it might just be part of my normal cycle of T.
    RunningMan
    2 mg is the lowest dose I've seen mentioned. Does it still seem to increase your appetite?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Woke up from a dream where I was suddenly using a drill, to realize it was the sound in my head...Its going to be a day...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Surviving...The idea of getting better is long lost. I have moments of joy and moments of despair, its a ride I just cant get off of.
    4Grace
    Surviving. Moments of joy are good. That's a win. If you're not worsening I believe you can be okay in time.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I remember when I used to try to post uplifting quotes on this page. T just beats the shit out you. Cant give up though, even if I wanted to
    gameover
    Uplifting does not work when T rages in your head.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @gameover I had more hope then. I had hope in habituation, sound therapy, supplements, that someone would help me, and somehow I would be the "exception" and get better. The fact that they say it gets easier with time. I cant say that it has, I can hide my distress better, if that's improvement then I guess I have gotten "better". I simply hold onto my life with everything I got, but its exhausting.
    gameover
    It would be easier with time if it wasn't worsening.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Ugh... Why does T have to be a different experience every day?! I mean wtf. The constant changing makes it hard to habituate.
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    Starting with mild T for many years didn't seem to help me because the sudden increase to severe T suddenly in Feb 2022 was like a totally new and horrible experience. I never thought T could be like that despite having had it for many years.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - I know what you mean. I feel the same. Don't know how. The volume makes all the difference in the world. The volume and reactivity is what is killing me. This is unimaginable suffering. Go figure I learned to sleep with this beast. If it was not progressing I know I would be much better by now.
    RunningMan
    I wish I could sleep more than 5 to 5 1/2 hours, which is about what I get with medication. Too many issues as if the T isn't bad enough.
    SharonBell
    The only thing that helps my T is sound all day and night and flexeril when needed, it helps me sleep it's great it just makes me very sleepy the next day, but I think I always take it to late. I need to start taking it earlier.. Do any of you take it?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Low hum is more prevalent than ever for some reason. My normal methods for getting it to stop are not working. Its doesnt seem like TTTS.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Seems I either have reactivity with noise or humming in silence. Masking or no masking I am SOL. What fun.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan The fan does kill the sound for me, as does most things, but seems I have to use a bit of a higher volume than before. Also it seems like after I go for a walk I am good for a couple of hours. Maybe blood pressure related? I dont know I take Losartan for BP, and taurine I think can lower BP as well. To answer your question No, but I have used Space Station
    RunningMan
    I take a lot of walks, even yesterday, and bike rides in the summer. My T ramps up some after exercise, although it's usually the high frequency that's got my focus, so I'm not sure about the low freq T, in left ear only, although it's definitely variable.
    Yosemite
    Are you still on Mirtazapine? If not, for how long did you take it? Was it easy to stop taking it?
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan sleep seems to suffer which ultimately leads me into a more depressed state and worse T
    RunningMan
    @BB23, I have never taken Mirtazapine, but I still have stomach pains over 3 1/2 months after weaning off Lexapro (that I used only 7 weeks). But I'm not sure that's protracted withdrawal because I had it while taking it - it's why I stopped. Maybe it brought out underlying issue. Looks like there's 2 of the neurotoxicity (1 education, 1 support).
    RunningMan
    @Tryn2BHopeful Well I hope you can keep your dose of Mirtazapine really low at 2mg and not have to increase it as I've read of others having to do.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Funny how sites about tinnitus tell you that you should seek treatment for it, yet everywhere you go they cant/wont treat it.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    My new PCP tried... Flonase, allergy meds... but that wasn't it.
    RunningMan
    My PCP first just said he wasn't going to talk about it because nothing can be done about it, and he just ignores his. But then he did refer me to an ENT, where I got the lipoflavanoids and melatonin suggestions and referral to audiology, where hearing loss was confirmed, which I already knew.
    BB23
    @Marina Moon they are clueless even within their specialties. No exceptions.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Damn I had a good life and didn't even realize how good it was. Doomed to live this existence or worse until I die. Last week gave me hope..
    View previous comments…
    Yosemite
    For no apparent reason, I guess?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Yeah like usual.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - life pre T was awesome. All the hardships I had I know now were nothing in comparison. Life is grand. It is beautiful. I was always so happy. I never thought this existence existed. Pure torment for me. Incredible chronic pain in ears and neck. T blasting. I pray for a day that it's better than the day before. Just one.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I keep wondering if its worth getting Clonazepam... just for some relief. I keep trying to avoid given my cause and that of others. Tired...
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I did try melatonin 3mg extended release didn't do much except give me crazy dreams
    RunningMan
    I've tried different doses of melatonin <1mg to 5 mg, time release, sublingual, and taking it earlier in evening, near bedtime, at bedime. I can't say it has any effect on me, sleep or dreams.
    MadeleineHope
    @Tryn2BHopeful Drats. Maybe try smaller doses? I've read that smaller doses can actually be more effective.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    It seems crazy to me that 2 Lexapro caused all this. From 0 to 100 in 2 days.I keep wondering if something happened during the prior surgery
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    2023 destroyed me and I got nobody that even cares in my life, no matter how many times I try to explain it. One of the first things that was said to me after I got T was "Sorry but we are kinda sick of your issues". I try to put that statement aside but sometimes it still resonates in my mind.
    Yosemite
    Do you remember which antibiotics they gave you for the surgery? Were they ototoxic?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I have no idea and I can't find it on any of the paperwork for the surgery. I do remember them saying they didn't remember if they gave them to me during surgery and did it.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Oh its gonna be a day! Had a pretty ok week, but T wants to be angrier than normal for the end of it.
    Jammer
    4 out of 7 ain't bad
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - take the wins my friend. I pretty okay week sounds awesome. I know it might be hard at the moment… but .., a pretty okay week! Sounds like you are going forward.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Oh I agree, I am certainly happy about that. I almost felt like a person again. With T though nothing is absolute and can change in a second. Just gonna keep plugging away.
    SharonBell
    We have cats and have had a couple dogs before. My daughter wants a puppy. A lady at my husbands work has one. We are going to go look at him tomorrow. I'm so scared though because of the barking when he gets bigger. What do y'all think. Do any of you have dogs?
    View previous comments…
    SharonBell
    @Tryn2BHopeful Yeah I wouldn't ever do that I miss our dogs LuLu and Tobbie. The next door neighbor has a lab also. Ok I will try to not be right beside him and learn his triggers as he grows up. Thank you that makes me feel better.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @SharonBell by your profile pic it looks like you got the puppy?
    SharonBell
    @Tryn2BHopeful we did get the puppy, but we actually took him back, we was very little and we thought he was to young to be away from his mom. My husband also saw that when we got there the dad looked like he had Pitt on him and in the picture he looked different. So we are going to get her a full blooded lab puppy instead.
    Yosemite
    Your story is quite similar to mine. I took three doses of Lexapro. On the third day I woke up with catastrophic T.

    The difference is that I had already had noise-induced T for three years. It was moderate. Now it has been severe for two weeks (and counting).

    It's very hard.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @4Grace Somedays are ok and others suck. Just keep truckin along hoping for something to give.
    Yosemite
    @Tryn2BHopeful

    Do you also have sound sensitivity / loudness H / pain H?

    I'm almost 4 weeks in, and today I've been having the worst T so far (in terms of loudness). I'm starting to lose hope. :-(
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Yosemite I had sound sensitivity for the first couple of months. I still have reactivity but not as bad as I did in the beginning. Its a slow process.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Volume or perception is exceptionally shitty today, reactive as hell. Guess I am just screwed in this life.
    View previous comments…
    kingsfan
    Yea I hear you. Mine was certainly cumulative, but it all hit at once with little to no warning signs. Just woke up with it one morning. No recent big acoustic trauma or anything beforehand.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    T is just a finicky beast... ZERO reason for a spike that I know of... but hell it could just be the rain.
    4Grace
    We are so strong. The reality, like you said, T is a BEAST. No way anyone without it could understand. I agree with what you said.
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