Freerunner

Freerunner

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  • Freerunner
    My ENT wants me to he hospitalized for T and H. How zo you think? Is there a point going after 3.5 months...?
    View previous comments…
    Barry098
    @DocTors_94 I actually had that very same thought awhile back. I think that the problem would be muscles quickly atrophying. If only cryonics worked…
    DocTors_94
    @Barry098 I wouldn't mind the muscle atrophy as far as it means no suffering from T... Wouldn't mind at all seriously...
    Barry098
    I hear you @DocTors_94...have hope though, it does get easier with time...I promise. For me 6 months seems to be the magic number. Not sure why, but both times I have had screaming tinnitus, things started to become more manageable right around the 6 month mark. I'm about 7 months in now on my 2nd bout of T and I can feel that it is starting to lose its death grip on my neck...
    Freerunner
    Can I damage my eardrum with foam plugs? I wore them yesterday 30 minutes but inserted them deep. Now left ear hurts and it is muffed a bit
    View previous comments…
    Freerunner
    @Stacken77 usually this is the case with me as well. However yesterday I did feel a little pain when inserting them but thought nothing much of it. But I am paying it now.
    Freerunner
    I am ordering an otoscope so I can check inside. I want to go to my ENT but I cannot afford it due to the severity of the hyperacusis. Bad thing is that tinnitus tones in my left ear are now much higher... May be 30 percent increase ...
    Ela Stefan
    @Stacken77 what kind of earplugs do you use please?
    Freerunner
    I feel like fate did not give me the chance to fight this.I tried all my best really,up to the point where I got crippling H and 7-8 sounds
    guenguer
    Same + quite a lot hearing loss
    Freerunner
    @guenguer , how long did it take you to get so many sounds? I am just 3 months in...
    guenguer
    @Freerunner well it was stable and very mild the first 8 years, but after that just months, still worsening.
    Freerunner
    Please recommend any relatively SAFE anti anxiety drugs that do not affect T and H.I really need something to chill me out since H worsened
    View previous comments…
    guenguer
    @Leila Johanniskraut worsened my VSS though.
    Leila
    @guenguer, thank you very much for pointing that out. I haven't tried St. John's wort myself. A friend of mine, who is neither a T nor H sufferer, uses it to battle his winter depression and reports that it helps him a lot. I guess, as with every new remedy, it's a bit of trial and error.
    guenguer
    @Leila it's definitely an alternative to antidepressants, as usual results may vary :)
    Freerunner
    Another fleeting T episode left me with permanent tonal sound. It is the loudest tone I have.....
    aura
    Maybe it's not permanent!
    Freerunner
    Well I cannot say for certain. It either seems to reduce in volume and merged with my other sounds or it has disappeared.
    Freerunner
    H is 20/10.Sound tolerance dropped to hell levels. Earmuffs at home are not helping at all.What I am going to do? IT got so severe im SCARED
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    Freerunner
    @Vassili Bro I keep on setting new records. I have pain hyperacusis that worsens constantly. I cannot even breathe or chew without this being so loud. Earmuffs do not help. I am so severe. I do not underestimate your case at all. I know what you mean. I was getting better from H but probably re-injured my ears and I am now homebound.
    Barry098
    @Freerunner you need to start desensitizing your ears little by little or your H won't improve. Think about it like a broken bone injury. You have to do PT in order to rehab it properly. I had severe H in 2017 from over protecting, but I very slowly exposed my ears to more sound and over the course of a few months it resolved. Playing a quiet instrument like acoustic guitar or ukelele is a great way to do this.
    AnthonyMcDonald
    I'm sorry @Barry098 but I don't think that Freerunner is going to benefit from this advice. This type of desensitization advice when I was really bad is exactly what made me worsen to catastrophic levels.
    Freerunner
    Cried to my mother for an hour over the phone. I am paying it already with T and H spike. I will better be off this world. It all felt apart
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    ZFire
    Are you able to take a leave of absence from work? If yes, I would take at least 6 months off. If you are still not feeling well(unlikely) by then, then do what you have to do. Your health comes first.
    Freerunner
    I cannot take more than a couple of weeks unfortunately. My parents insist on doing the stem cells however I kept explaining them the severity of H and that I cannot travel now. They so not get it. They said that i will have to endure the pain but try to help myself
    Exit
    Can't blame them.., no one understands this unless you have it.
    Freerunner
    Each spike I get adds new tones and makes the intermittent ones either change in pitch or constant. H is brutal. I will be a goner soon.
    Stacken77
    When I developed bad loudness H again in Feb, I seemingly caught new tones constantly from minor quick noise exposures. This did stabilize after 2-3 months.
    Freerunner
    I just had a dog scream LOUD right beside me, less than meter away. My ear is in pain, I was with earplugs but I know I will suffer tomorrow
    View previous comments…
    Freerunner
    I will loose my job, life because of the severity and I am only getting worse. I mean - it is brutal
    aura
    Speaking of demonic creatures, maybe you should try Clonazepam. It helped me when i was at my lowest point ( both tinnitus and hyperacusis). Take it for 2-3 days, the lowest dose. Don't abuse it. Where are you working? Can't you take some days off?
    Freerunner
    I work 50/50 home office but I still have office duties and I have to be there. I was working from home this whole week, resting my ears and nothing. They are worse every week.
    Freerunner
    H is brutal, T changed sooo much in the wrong direction. Intermittent tones became constant and louder, reactive.... And they are many... :(
    Barry098
    I hear you about the H…in 2017, I thought the T was unbearable until the H kicked in. Then I was praying to just have T.
    Freerunner
    Scheduled an appointment for Dr De Ridder for after a month. I doubt he will surprise me with info I dont know but lets see
    View previous comments…
    G
    • G

      Guest5401

    @Freerunner wow that is faster than me and I requested the appointment 3 weeks ago, mine it is at 21th February.
    Barry098
    @Sizi @Freerunner Will you both share what you learn from Dr. De Ridder? I would be interested in seeing him too if you find him helpful.
    Freerunner
    Of course @Barry098 , no worries. As I understood from previous visits of tinnitus talk members, he prescribes a weak SSRI alongside with another medication. But lets jut wait and see.
    Freerunner
    New tone in right ear. It remained after I experienced a fleeting tinnitus. The fleeting tinnitus subsided but not the tone itself.
    View previous comments…
    Steph1710
    Sometimes it still becomes loud, but other times, I have to check that it's even still there. I still have hyperacusis, and occasionally I have reactive T. Recently, I walked past a cat scarer which made this beeping sound, and I heard that beep for two weeks after. So, my ears still do weird things, but mainly they behave.
    T
    Hey dude, I experienced the same exact thing, it's been 3-4 days for me. Has yours gone away?
    Freerunner
    Hey @ThatGuyBenny, I think this has subsided back then. I have had more episodes like this but they are lasting hours for me tops. I am sorry you have it for days but it might still go down or diminish to the extend you don't notice it.
    Freerunner
    Literally monsterous 20/10 tinnitus now keeping me awake. I hear it like this for the first time. Nothing can mask it.
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    aura
    You have to sleep. When i don't sleep, my tinnitus is horrendous. It will just keep getting worse.
    Stacken77
    I second @aura, sleep is paramount. I know that yours is very loud, @Freerunner, and that obviously impacts one's ability to sleep. What impacts my sleep a lot is anxiety; if the slightest anxiety is present, I will have a very hard time sleeping. So getting it under control is always a good call if the tinnitus causes anxiety.
    Barry098
    My initial bout of T and H lasted about 18 months. When it initially came on, it worsened everyday for about the first 4-6 months. It was catastrophic level T and severe H. But, it eventually resolved 100%. I'm back here again because I got a little complacent…a mistake a deeply regret!
    Freerunner
    Yet another new tone in left ear. No noise exposure. Unfortunately, TT will remember me like one of the fastest worsening members
    View previous comments…
    Freerunner
    I have 7-8 tones, spiking from talking. This is not life guys... No o e can help me and I feel totally lost. I am loosing the battle. The constant worsening is finishing me
    danielthor
    You'll be surprised at how quickly it can turn around. I think you need to get to a place of silence, where you can rest your ears. That's what helped me. I used to not be able to socialize even with plugs due to pain and reactivity. I can safely socialize again with plugs and I'm getting to the point now where I can socialize without
    Freerunner
    @danielthor , the thing is that if staying alone, I am going crazy. I go out for walks but I paid the price now I have a massive spike in both T and H, even though I am not going to loud places. I cant go for silence, I have to go to work as well so I wonder how I can manage.
    Freerunner
    H does not let go. It was a bit better yesterday but today is hell. I cant tolerate any noise. I did cry a lot to my mother on the phone...
    Vassili
    It can be a long ride. In my case first 1,5 years were absolute hell. Have faith in better days, @Freerunner.
    Freerunner
    @Vassili , how bar was your hyperacusis? Was your t8nnitus reactive as well?

    Mine became super reactive and now spiked 10/10 after making a quiet walk outside. It will be another sleepless night, nothing can mask it.
    Vassili
    @Freerunner, I had everything on suicide levels. I had every symptom out there and wanted to kill myself. Now after 2 years and 2 months things are much better, almost no hyperacusis and quiet tinnitus, I'm almost down to a faint ring/hiss. Take all your will in your fist and fight. Things will very slowly get better.
    Freerunner
    I'm crying my eyes out. I am alone on my birthday because of T and H. It is more than sad what my life has become. I do not deserve all this
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    aura
    Happy birthday! You must have hope that better days will come! Is there any friend you can talk to these days? From my experience, socializing is what helps the most. But it is very difficult with hyperacusis...
    Barry098
    My dog got run over by a car on my 17th birthday...my Dad died on my 34th birthday and I got screaming tinnitus on my 40th birthday which by the way is groundhogs day (the irony was not lost on me). So, while I wish you a Happy birthday, the truth is that I now avoid everyone and hide out in a 6' deep concrete bunker when my birthday rolls around! Who needs birthdays anyway?
    Barry098
    Keep going Freerunner...your suffering is only temporary...you will reach a place of acceptance with it. Believe me, I have had all of the same thoughts as you. But, I habituated once before after 6 horrendous months and I feel it starting to happen again after the last 6 months of being in a very deep dark hole. It's possible to let go of the pain...it just takes time.
    Freerunner
    That's it. I have pain hyperacusis. My life is officially over. Its such a pitty - I had so much potential and I was smart enough to succeed
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    Wrfortiscue
    Hang in there @Freerunner…
    Stacken77
    Hey @Barry098. Hope you're doing alright. I'm just curious; you said that your T were reactive in your bout with bad hyperacusis in 2017. How did the reactivity manifest? Did you experience tinnitus spikes that could last minutes/hours?
    Barry098
    @Stacken77 I still have some issues with reactive T and it reacts just like it did in 2017. Both times my spikes pretty much would always continue until I could get a good night's sleep. Sometimes when they are bad (like after getting COVID) they can last for several days.
    Freerunner
    Morse code returned with a vengeance in left ear. IT is louder than ever ... Right ear also has some new sound which I cannot describe. FUCK
    Freerunner
    God is obviously punishing me.This is pure torture - nothing more or less.I am constantly worsening and it's becoming unbearable.Please help
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    Freerunner
    @aura I take Atarax and some liquid magnesium basically. But none of this work since T has been so severe from yesterday. I cannot stand it. It is something much louder than I could bear. I hear it over everything.
    aura
    When i was feeling very bad i used the mirtazapine-clonazepam combo. You have to sleep no matter what.
    dan
    When you just begin to hear it over everything, that is still considered moderate tinnitus.
    Freerunner
    No morning reset this time. Woke up to a screaming T. Wondering if it is the 100ml whiskey I had or the first ginkobiloba pill I consumed
    View previous comments…
    Freerunner
    Fuck my life man... Immediate spike in tinnitus and afraid of H as well. I barely slept last night. I think I am going out of this world... Fucking doctors ruined my life and I have not accomplished anything. Pitty that's my life. And these fuckers will live happily and sleep tight even though they destroyed a young man health and future. There is no justice in our world.
    Freerunner
    15/10 spike now. I just hope it will subside again.... How do you guys deal with this torture and the loneliness and limits it brings?
    Freerunner
    God have mercy on me, please.... 15/10 spike continues and I barely slept one hour with 50mg Atarax and two Valerian pills
    Freerunner
    Still experiencing H setback from the bomb. As soon as I woke up - my ears are fatigued and sensitivity dropped. My voice hurts again
    View previous comments…
    danielthor
    I was constantly getting worse until it turned around all of a sudden. I think you're in a setback right now from the bomb and as soon as you get to a place of no further trauma then it will start turning around for you too
    Nadia231
    Wow, those are massive steps @danielthor I feel so happy for you, as I said a couple of days ago, reading your posts was so heartbreaking. I know it might be too soon, but would you say that improving your anxiety and overall mental health has contributed to your H and T getting better? Keep it up mate!
    danielthor
    @Nadia231 Thanks friend! - I wish it was as simple as that. I think these are important parts of any recovery, but what I think has done the most for my improvements with regards to T & H has been simply; staying in silence for an incredible amount of time and avoiding further trauma. I guess that is pretty simple too, but maybe not so attainable for some
    Freerunner
    The best morning reset I had so far. I woke up to 1/10 tinnitus but I know it is not going to last.
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    AbeS
    @Stacken77 Mine also became reactive out of nowhere a couple of months back so there may be a relation there.
    Stacken77
    @AbeS Mine became reactive in Feb last year during two weeks where I either: took an anti-anxiety med (Atarax/Hydroxyzine), or began depriving myself of sound 24/7. I personally believe the deprivation was the culprit. After 2 weeks, a toilet flush was too loud for my loudness H. The spikes always went to baseline though. Then, after a 2 hour conversation, tolerance dropped further, and my spikes could be permanent.
    AbeS
    @Stacken77 I agree about the deprivation, same here.
    Keeping it between overprotection and underprotection sometimes seems like an impossible task.
    Freerunner
    I will have to be alone on New Year's Eve for the first time in my life. I can't be around noise anymore.It is sad and I am feeling terrible
    Freerunner
    Decided to take the 2 hour train trip to my parents house. I am spending quiet evening with them although I spiked bad from the trip. Trains in Eastern Europe are not quiet at all. Wearing ear plugs and noice cancelling headphones.
    AbeS
    Same here.. but I went to my parents in the early evening to have food and then we took a car ride to spend some time together.
    J
    The same here man hold on there there is no other.Maybe this coming year hopefully brings everyone a cure or relief for this tinnitus trash at last.
    Freerunner
    I would like to go back in time and just refuse the goddamn caloric test.It ruined my ears, future and desire to go forward. Keeps worsening
    View previous comments…
    Freerunner
    I have to live a solitary live when I needed socializing the most - after my gf left me and I had ocd. I needed distractions but no. Life had to screw me even bigger time.
    Damocles
    So much what @Stacken77 said.

    I've dreamed of going back in time and not going to that concert in 2009, or not taking that job in a music venue in 2007, on so many occasions.

    But as he said, it's an irrelevance. Simple fact is, I was susceptible to tinnitus, and would likely have developed it somewhere down the line, whatever I did.
    Damocles
    Changing events in the past, I'm sure, would only have delayed the inevitable outcome.
    Freerunner
    Please stop the torture. Please... It has become so intrusive, so loud, so many different reactive tones. H is bad. Let the torture cease...
    Freerunner
    Spent whole day at home wearing earplugs.T is 15/10 spiked and morphing its way into something extraterrestrial.Two months in-10 times worse
    View previous comments…
    Freerunner
    Thank you for the encouragement guys. I do appreciate the support. My tinnitus is bad. I mean - I was really awarded with one of the worsts Ts out there. Started with a mere hiss that I would have habituated fairly quickly with. However, it is super reactive, I spiked many times for no reason, I have Hyperacusis which complicated matters.
    Freerunner
    I was constantly getting worse for no apparent reason. I kept adding new tones every 1-2 weeks. Now after 30 minutes cafe stay and 2 hour Family Christmas gathering - it is the worst. I cannot even count how many sounds I have and they are all intrusive and reactive , except 1-2. I have not achieved anything in life yet, but I doubt I am going to achieve it with this torture.
    Freerunner
    I have been tortured by so many health problems this ear and this is the worst . I am a human being after all - I do not know how much time I will endure this.

    I am really sorry you have to struggle as well guys. I hope at least for you things do get better so you can live normal lives.
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