Marina Moon

Marina Moon

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  • Marina Moon
    My morning routine is waking up to an existensial crisis, then I make tea.
    L along the way
    Hahah.. high five... it's not funny.. but i've gotten cynical too.. what a.. stuff... going day by day. Cheers with a cup of tea
    SarahMLFlemmer
    I know it.
    Juliane
    You and me both! Waking up, realizing what my life has been reduced to, feeling the instant dread and heaviness of existence, then a cup of Joe and the first fake smile of many.
    Marina Moon
    I feel so guilty; begging for help, throwing tantrums, am easily irritable, etc. i'm a whole different person now...
    Marina Moon
    I honestly doubt that I clench. I cry, that's for certain, but not clench.
    Marina Moon
    When i'm laying in bed, i clench(?) when i yawn but is that enough cumulative damage to hurt anyone? Also when i was sleeping, i noticed my teeth lightly tapping, it's probably because the muscles are spasming...
    Marina Moon
    Due to a cancellation, I was able to see a neurologist. (more in the comments)
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Atleast you got to see neuro... they denied my referral. I could be brain dead tomorrow but that's not their problem. Maybe it was for the best anyway.
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful I guess i can take a few positives away this from experience, and i'm learning more about the healthcare system then I am in class or in textbooks. I was going to take the MCAT but postponed it because this happened.
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful I'm sorry, given all you've been experencing, i can't imagine they'd deny you a referral....My pcp gave me a referal to neuro because she thought i had trigeminal neuralgia, and my neuro put me down for MS because he said an MRI wouldn't be authorized otherwise. It's a guessing game to them, what they think we do or do not have, but they can also be wrong in their judgement.
    Marina Moon
    I went to the dentist today! [details in the comments] I have good news, sort of?
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    Treatment options he mentioned inluded injections, plates, muscle relaxers, but i need to get an MRI first to know what the tissues look like in my jaw point, and how to proceed foward. Surgery terrrfies me and something i really, really don't want and can potentially leave me in a worse condition.
    Marina Moon
    My condition could have also started in my back and then slowly affected my jaw joints, as everything is connected, and i was having lower back pain for a while before all these other symptoms manifested.
    Marina Moon
    I still regret eating that burger in september of last year because on that day that's when my bad headaches manifested. Maybe it wouldn't have mattered if i ate the burger, or eaten something else a day later, my TMJ was probably already weakened (?) and then the burger was just the last straw, the catalyst for everyhting else inevitably to happen.
    Marina Moon
    "don't drag me into this insanity," my sister said as she's asked to come along with me to my dentist appointment. She has no empathy.
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    @SarahMLFlemmer Since the onset of my condition, i'm starting to re-evaluate the dynamics of my family...and how dysfunctional it is....
    4Grace
    I am so sorry you are going through this. It's incredible how similar all of our experiences are… I can relate to everyone of your sentiments. I'm not a fan of those life affirming quotes but one stuck with me. We need to be strong, endure and accept because the reality is that every other choice is worse. Every other option is not better. I wish you only better days. You are so strong and very smart.
    Marina Moon
    @4Grace Thank you for your kindness, i needed to hear this <3
    Marina Moon
    If i'm cured, then i'll never want for anything else ever again....
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Right?!
    Juliane
    Same! And to think I had that little over a year ago (I had mild T, which for me would be the same as cured) and did not thank my Lucky stars EVERY DAY! Just mindblowing... Sure don't know what we got till it's gone
    Marina Moon
    It's easier to make a reservation at a restaurant then it is with a neurologist....5 months is the closest appointment. Fuck me.
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    It's crazy how long it can take. I had to wait several weeks when I made an appt. with an ENT. Then it took another two to three weeks to get into the university for a hearing test upon the ENT's referral. Fortunately, I got into my PCP within a week the last two times I scheduled appts. But, I never attempted to see a neurologist, psych, therapist, or sleep doctor.
    Marina Moon
    @RunningMan That's rough, i'm sorry. It's insane how hard it is to just get help.
    4Grace
    In Canada one guy - 12 month wait. MRI - 6 months. Health care went to crap after Covid
    Marina Moon
    i noticed that my last molar on my left side is elevated and hurts, which makes me wonder if i have an impacted wisdom tooth.
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    @SarahMLFlemmer I'm researching and making appointments with dentists, regardless of what my parents think! I'M TAKING BACK MY LIFE!
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful I always wanted straighter teeth, but I never had teeth problems, but then again, i never noticed that last molar was raised until recently. Maybe if i went to a dentist sooner, my situation now could have been entirely prevented, perhaps...May I ask if your son had impacted wisdom teeth and were they painful?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    They were not impacted. We had his removed before they became an issue. I had impacted wisdom teeth when I was younger and I had jaw pain. After they were removed that went away.
    Marina Moon
    In a perfect, idealized, utopian world we all have groups of doctors dedicated to our individualized causes.
    Marina Moon
    I went to the doctor today [will discuss what happened in the comments] Living is just suffering now, isn't it?
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    @4Grace I'm sorry, i know the feeling all too well. Thank you. Things are looking up a little better after i visited the dentist today!
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful I'll keep moving forward, it's hard but better days are coming, hopefully. Thank you <3
    Marina Moon
    @SarahMLFlemmer I still love them, it's just getting hard these days to function, and i still feel guilty that this condition happened to me because it is affecting my family too. I just want to go on vacations again, watch movies, and have fun like we used to. I feel like i disrupted all that was good...
    Marina Moon
    Sorry for all my posts of vents/rants. I just need to let it out. I also want to scream like a pterodactyl, but this is way healthier.
    Marina Moon
    Part of me (the delusional bit) thinks that moving into a cottage in a little village in the English countryside will solve all my problems
    Kain
    I think that too LOL
    Pinhead
    I think this way sometimes- but who will pay for it, and the ringing will follow me there, too. Wherever you go, there you are.
    Marina Moon
    I went to the ENT today [will discuss what happened in the comments]
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    My dentist confirmed it was TMD and knew what is exactly happening to me. My left cartilage disc is out of place and is stuck, preventing my jaw from opening wide, and all the pain that is associated with that. He talked to me and my parents and showed what is anatomically happening (via animation). It clicked with my parents and now i feel like they finally believe me.
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful This dentist (the same guy who did my sister's braces) said my bite is normal and wouldn't be causing me issues, nor would invisalign help, so he told me to see an oral surgeon he recommended and get an MRI of the jaw. TBH i already knew waht he was going to say, but i needed a doctor to explain it to my parents T_T
    Tryn2BHopeful
    While I am not happy you had to suffer this I am glad you have come to a diagnosis and hopefully the support of your parents! I truly believe your on the road to recovery and better things are coming. Now for you to get better and leave this forum and do what teenager's do!
    Marina Moon
    Has anyone here ever had a clicking tmj before? How long did it click and did it hurt? I need advise T_T
    Marina Moon
    I feel like writing again. I haven't in a while and don't know if I can, but this is a nice feeling. I'd like to keep it.
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    @Juliane Thank you! I'll definitely post something here when I get the chance :3 T and pain make it hard, but it's my dream to write a book and I really, really want to make it happen. Over the past few days I was writing down notes and that felt like an accomplishment XD
    Juliane
    @Marina Moon Sounds great! Please do! I am working on a book too but haven't written anything since my tinnitus worsened
    Marina Moon
    @Juliane I'm sorry :( but don't worry or put pressure on yourself, your stories will always be waiting for you to come back to them. We're still writers, regardless of our conditions.
    Marina Moon
    I don't care if they think I'm crazy, for crying, begging, screaming. I want help. I want to be cured. I want to be free of this pain.
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    when i was telling my mom when i first had T and all the sounds there were, she laughed at me and asked If I was hearing voices in my head.........i might die in this house is2g.
    Marina Moon
    don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset don't get upset
    Marina Moon
    I wish i wasn't going through this
    Marina Moon
    My parents don't take me seriously, not even when the burning was so bad i threatened to call the police. There's so much hate in my heart.
    Juliane
    I am sorry to hear that. There is so much hate in my heart too - towards the people who worsened me on New Year's Eve. It's a horrible feeling but it's genuine. I cannot help hating them for ruining my life. I hope hate with time fades for both of us.
    Marina Moon
    @Juliane I'm so sorry, and i understand. It's cruel to have more pain toppled on more pain. It's so unfair. I hate holding this feeling of hatred, but i feel like i'm going to hold this grudge over my parents for the rest of my life for condemning me to suffer like this. I hope it fades too, we deserve to be happy and thrive.
    Marina Moon
    I remember a while ago when I had imapcted earwax in my ear and could not hear. It didn't ring then and didn't after the ENT visit.
    View previous comments…
    Marina Moon
    but not i'm remembering i would listen to loud music in the car with headphones last summer....maybe i did muck up my hearing then...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I wish I could tell you. I don't even have a good answer for myself. Try not to blame yourself, you didn't know this was going to happen. It might of been unavoidable. Try to focus on the present and improving the situation. Advice I should take myself!
    Marina Moon
    @Tryn2BHopeful I'll try to be kinder to myself, because I must be an advocate for the betterment of my own health. I still wonder if my back and abdominal pain was a warning sign and if i did something THEN i wouldn't be suffering now.. I'm trying to keep it together mentally, i have an ENT visit next week!
    Marina Moon
    Everyone here is so strong for enduring, and i hope we all find peace and happiness and resulotion to our conditions.
    Marina Moon
    I was doing shoulder exercises and I had a shooting pain in my right shoulder, right side of throat, and right ear.
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