I'm having a very bad day after having a very bad night. Lately I've been sleeping much better, but tonight I went to bad with an awful headache, got woken up an hour later by my dog barking really loudly (she's outside of the house), took a painkiller, but the ringing and the headache are still awful. Every time I get a bit better, it's always getting worse. I just can't shake off the feeling that my life is stolen by tinnitus. I'm never gonna be a productive member of society, can't enjoy anything, never gonna have a family. I have a lingering feeling that eventually I won't make it, and will have to kill myself. It's just a matter of time. And every time I try to talk about this to my family, they just say, that the problem is that I don't have faith and I just don't want to get better enough. My father has chronic, awful pain from a car accident 30 years ago, has a number of health conditions, and dealing with it, he's successful and all, and I'm weak not being able to cope with my moderate tinnitus. (My words, not theirs. They are supportive, just don't understand this, even though my mom has very mild tinnitus.) I'm just so ashamed of myself. Can't even cry because that exacerbates the fucking ringing.