Suicidal

I'm having a very bad day after having a very bad night. Lately I've been sleeping much better, but tonight I went to bad with an awful headache, got woken up an hour later by my dog barking really loudly (she's outside of the house), took a painkiller, but the ringing and the headache are still awful. Every time I get a bit better, it's always getting worse. I just can't shake off the feeling that my life is stolen by tinnitus. I'm never gonna be a productive member of society, can't enjoy anything, never gonna have a family. I have a lingering feeling that eventually I won't make it, and will have to kill myself. It's just a matter of time. And every time I try to talk about this to my family, they just say, that the problem is that I don't have faith and I just don't want to get better enough. My father has chronic, awful pain from a car accident 30 years ago, has a number of health conditions, and dealing with it, he's successful and all, and I'm weak not being able to cope with my moderate tinnitus. (My words, not theirs. They are supportive, just don't understand this, even though my mom has very mild tinnitus.) I'm just so ashamed of myself. Can't even cry because that exacerbates the fucking ringing.
Moderate to severe tinnitus is unique and different than most conditions. Also, health professionals don't care about people with this. There isn't any real treatment for it. So, even though someone who has debilitating chronic pain, a doctor is still more likely to prescribe pain medication until the patient gets some relief. I have severe ear pain in addition to severe loud tinnitus and doctors have not helped me at all.
 
Moderate to severe tinnitus is unique and different than most conditions. Also, health professionals don't care about people with this. There isn't any real treatment for it. So, even though someone who has debilitating chronic pain, a doctor is still more likely to prescribe pain medication until the patient gets some relief. I have severe ear pain in addition to severe loud tinnitus and doctors have not helped me at all.
Your ear pain sounds like Geniculate neuralgia. You really should try to see a neurologist and try treating this with Carbamazepine.
 
I had carpal tunnel or tendinitis years ago. I am not 100% which but my pain in my right wrist was so bad I couldn't use a computer for very long (using a mouse was even difficult). I used someone else's Percocet prescription (I was given a few pills to use sometimes when the pain was excruciating). It was a relief and really helped until it wore off.

I stopped doing the job that caused or contributed to the pain. I think there is damage as I feel pain there occasionally but it rarely happens. I guess that might indicate carpel tunnel rather than tendonitis. If so, that would be nerve pain/damage?
The part about me being unsure of the use of opioids for nerve pain wasn't me questioning it or arguing, I'm genuinely unsure! It does seem like nerve pain does sometimes not respond to opioids and you need an anticonvulsant or anti-depressant (first line of treatment for nerve pain)
 
I can't get opioids for pain - I have severe ear pain and I think that's related. Yet, my doctor would rather I suffer in pain. I don't give a shit about addiction - which is what they're worried about (I assume). When suicide is what is mainly considered, I think addiction should be the last thing they should worry about.
You buy some bitcoin from the convenience store near you. Register on a dark web market and buy anything you need if docs cant help you. You help yourself.
 
You buy some bitcoin from the convenience store near you. Register on a dark web market and buy anything you need if docs cant help you. You help yourself.
Opiod markups on the DNM are absurdly high, 20 bucks a pill wont take him very far. The benzos on the other hand are a lot more reasonable.

It's too bad Pete's Dr. is such a merciless prick and wont prescribe anything. Really demonstrates a lack of regard for the seriousness of debilitating tinnitus. I realize these medications aren't something anybody wants to be on, but when it comes to suicide... and you can't even write the guy a measily script for a benzo? Your Dr. sucks Pete.
 
Got it.

Do they consider hyperacusis as a legit reason to exit? And that for a young person, in their twenties?

Sadly, Pegasus is not going to help anyone in their twenties to obtain a VAD. Tinnitus is not accepted as a reason to be accepted for a VAD if you are young. I have seen it in a forum specialized in these topics...
 
Sadly, Pegasus is not going to help anyone in their twenties to obtain a VAD. Tinnitus is not accepted as a reason to be accepted for a VAD if you are young. I have seen it in a forum specialized in these topics...
But I don't have tinnitus as a reason to VAD. I have severe hyperacusis, due to which I can't even leave my room. If that's not life altering, really don't know what else would.
 
But I don't have tinnitus as a reason to VAD. I have severe hyperacusis, due to which I can't even leave my room. If that's not life altering, really don't know what else would.

I understand you and I am completely agree with you.

I think that tinnitus and hyperacusis should be considered more than enough reasons to be accepted for a VAD. But if you are under 40 I don't think they will take you into account. I say this from what I have read in other forums.

I do not understand that criteria either and of course I think it's unfair. Just because we are young they don't accept us.

One more time, the conditions we suffer from are not taken seriously and are reduced to nothing. Our suffering is also not taken seriously because it's invisible.

And there is still a lot of morality and pressure on the part of governments to limit the number of VADs.
 
Opiod markups on the DNM are absurdly high, 20 bucks a pill wont take him very far. The benzos on the other hand are a lot more reasonable.

It's too bad Pete's Dr. is such a merciless prick and wont prescribe anything. Really demonstrates a lack of regard for the seriousness of debilitating tinnitus. I realize these medications aren't something anybody wants to be on, but when it comes to suicide... and you can't even write the guy a measily script for a benzo? Your Dr. sucks Pete.
I know but I suspect getting another doctor won't help.
 
I know but I suspect getting another doctor won't help.
Well your current doc doesn't seem to be doing much for you so switching might be worth the hassle. Finding a more sympathetic doc is a good plan A. before turning to the DNM.
It's an interesting idea but a) it will be horribly overpriced
The benzos on there aren't nearly as overpriced as the opioids, they're under $2 a pill. You could cut a 4mg Xanax bar into at least 4 doses.
how do I know it's authentic?
You couldn't know for sure. But the sellers all have their own trustedness ratings and customer reviews to consider.
 
I pray there is afterlife and that God would provide forgiveness
You are making three separate claims about the nature of reality.

The existence of a God or God-like entity(deism)

The existence of a Personal God that you can interact with in complex ways (religious beliefs)

The existence of an afterlife, without mentioning possibilities, heaven, hell, astral plane, disney land ect...

Where is the evidence for this?
 
You are making three separate claims about the nature of reality.

The existence of a God or God-like entity(deism)

The existence of a Personal God that you can interact with in complex ways (religious beliefs)

The existence of an afterlife, without mentioning possibilities, heaven, hell, astral plane, disney land ect...

Where is the evidence for this?
Where is the evidence this is not there?
 
Where is the evidence this is not there?
Which God are we talking about? I can help you falsify the worlds major religions but I unfortunately cannot falsify the other two claims. Though I urge you to be very skeptical.

Normies are not really good at questioning the nature of reality.

They always ask about Religion vs Mechanistic Materialism without even considering other possible models of how the Universe could work. They are stuck in a black and white choice when I think both are wrong.
 
If a God don't exist, does that automatically make mechanistic materialism true?

If you are okay to believe infinite copies of you exist in parrerel universes and free will being an illusion hop right in the boat with them.
 
If a God don't exist, does that automatically make mechanistic materialism true?

If you are okay to believe infinite copies of you exist in parrerel universes and free will being an illusion hop right in the boat with them.
Hi Contrast. I know your hypercusis faded, do you still suffer from tinnitus or has that faded too? Can you experience silence now?
 
Hi Contrast. I know your hypercusis faded, do you still suffer from tinnitus or has that faded too? Can you experience silence now?
I have mild tinnitus, and every now and then jaw pain and facial tightness from noise.

But now I have other health problems that are much worse, 100% unrelated.
 
If free will doesn't exist, how can we stop Jasterboff's empire?
 
I should be out soon, I am already 100% done with everything I need to do.
 
Which God are we talking about? I can help you falsify the worlds major religions but I unfortunately cannot falsify the other two claims. Though I urge you to be very skeptical.

Normies are not really good at questioning the nature of reality.

They always ask about Religion vs Mechanistic Materialism without even considering other possible models of how the Universe could work. They are stuck in a black and white choice when I think both are wrong.
Okay. So what do you think happens when we die?

Is there a difference where you'll end up after dying naturally or when you take your own life?

My religion teaches me that suicide is a sin. Change my view that god/universe won't punish me if I take my own life. Do you have an answer to that?
 
Okay. So what do you think happens when we die?

Is there a difference where you'll end up after dying naturally or when you take your own life?

My religion teaches me that suicide is a sin. Change my view that god/universe won't punish me if I take my own life. Do you have an answer to that?

I am not looking at religion for divine answers. I am look at the Universe like a detective.

Many ex disgruntled christians that jump on the mechanistic materialism boat without even questioning it, or they just believe the school text books without giving it a second thought.

The funny thing is back in 2014 at work one day I remember thinking about the mechanistic laws of the Universe I was taught and wondering how humans have free will if the Universe is mechanistic? I thought maybe at some high level property free will emerges. But even at that time I remember thinking "How"? I later forgot about it, only for the thought to come back six years later.
 

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