Suicidal

[serendipity1996]

Lack of sleep + early morning video call means my face symptoms have flared up. Face feeling very 'tight' and numb/tense. I barely get ear pain any longer but it feels like my hyperacusis has morphed into some bizarre kind of facial neuralgia. I do have good days though where it barely flares up but it's worrying how a single video call lasting 30 mins can still trigger these peculiar symptoms. Maybe it's just referred pain but idk what if this has somehow become a case of facial nerve damage.

 

[Labyrinthine]

At wits end. Too many problems. Physically and emotionally so exhausted. It's just problem after problem and it doesn't stop... So much pain... So incapacitated. Two neck injuries, extreme H, moderate T, severe anxiety, depression, gut problems, and now a groin injury on top of everything. I can't sleep, eat, walk, relax, whisper, shower, go outside, or any other activity considered to be normal... When will this end? My family is so fucking tired of me. And I'm fucking tired of myself. I just don't have energy left to fight. I just want it to end. Please. Please. Please!!!!

 

[Contrast]

How can we stop the elite psychologist and TRT overlords if free will is an illusion?

We just have to watch them cuck us while knowing they are just particles smashing into each other as well.

Our only hope is that the Universe is fixated on finding a cure ASAP. Everything we could have done to make a difference is particles smashing into each other giving us an illusion of agency. We are doomed.

 

[Contrast]

We are living in a primitive part of human history, that is all there is too it.

The 21sst century is a very primal part of human history and psychologist from even early era's happen to be in charge of medicine.

 

[Contrast]

There are medical journals about people who commit suicide because of horrifying health problems, the journals still suggest "psychological flexibility" as a way to prevent suicide. LMAO

 

[Contrast]

I can't believe I am finding other people on the internet who were denied disability explicitly stating that behavioral therapies are designed to manage their health problem and that their health problem is partially unverifiable.


I am not alone.

 

[Capstan]

There are medical journals about people who commit suicide because of horrifying health problems, the journals still suggest "psychological flexibility" as a way to prevent suicide. LMAO

Yeah I got diagnosed adjustment disorder because I'm not coping to my severe tinnitus. I suppose I should be more flexible to having been screwed over by life.

 

[Contrast]

Yeah I got diagnosed adjustment disorder because I'm not coping to my severe tinnitus. I suppose I should be more flexible to having been screwed over by life.

That's why I dont bother with doctors, I don't want to get clowned on like that.


I didn't even know a "adjustment disorder was a thing.

 

[Contrast]

Adjustment disorders are danger diagnosis. Psychologist have way to much control.

How dare we criticize their authority.

 

[Contrast]

It is obvious that medical literature on tinnitus and nerve pain and other disorders that ruin ones life is far more invested in how to "shut up and move on" then reverse any biological damage.

Any talk about deep biological sciences that reverse disease, perform technical surgery and reprogram the immune system, regenerate tissue is considering a very specialized niche that is far from clinical practice. Or only done on very lucky patients who get to test the cutting edge of biosciences. We are delusional for expecting deep biological sciences to play a crucial role in medicine. We are the problem for expecting "sci-fi" treatments. Most normal people just accept the biological damage and move on.


I will never apologize for criticizing these elite psychologist that pull the strings. If they get criticized they retire. They have no chance against us if we call them out.

 

[Contrast]

I am not afraid of dying I am afraid of a failed suicide attempt leading me to serious permanent injury.

I think most people here agree.

 

[Contrast]

I could have potentially cured my new health problem if I would have eaten tons of asparagus 10 months ago

 

[Contrast]

If you kill yourself because of a painful disease, they write papers in academic journals how psychological resilence can prevent it. If you want to be thought provoking, mention psychological resilience is linked to suicide.


There entire model is wrong,. I believe veteran suicides are linked to all the resilence therapies the VA is shilling on them. They aren't paying attention to how tinnitus and physical health disorders can influence PTSD. They have a fictional model of where behavioral modification can treat anything. Their model doesn't work in the real world, but they just keep forcing it because there is no alternative.

The clinical world has no options but CBT, I don't think it's bad in principle but it's not something to invest advancements in.

 

[Contrast]

All I have to do is make sure I dont end up as a vegetive state..

 

[Contrast]

Only people with mental illnesses have trust in deep biological sciences to reverse disease, normal people who are not mentally ill prefer CBT and ACT. People who are mentally ill should not complain.


The behavioral modification therapies are recommending by revered Ph.D psychologist, you can't oppose their treatment option if you haven't tried it.

 

[Contrast]

my last week is this week.

 

[Contrast]

we are the delusional ones for expecting medical science to reverse biologicla damage, all the normies know you are just a bunch of living cells. The cells start to die and become severely dysfunctional. If this happens in your early 20's then you just shut up and adapt. If you can't adapt pyschologist have to brainwash you.

 

[BenzoMom]

@grate_biff PLEASE do not end your life. I beg of you. I am 100% confident that a lot of this is from benzo withdrawal. I am in several support groups and the tinnitus and hyperacusis is extremely common for those of us in tolerance, tapering, etc. As someone who relentlessly experienced these things for months, I know how torturous it all is. BUT, I know MANY on the other side of this thing (including @Star64) and they have gotten their lives back. I am on an extremely slow liquid microtaper myself, using pills and a liquid pharmacy rx - I crossed over to Valium and I know you are already on it. I do not joke when I say that it's going to take me 650 days to get off of 6.5mg of Valium and there are many who do it this slow. I don't know what the future holds for me but I'm holding on to hope that in the end, this extremely slow taper will help me. Feel free to DM me if you want more information on how to do this. There is hope. Please hang on to it.

 

[Daniel Lion]

At wits end. Too many problems. Physically and emotionally so exhausted. It's just problem after problem and it doesn't stop... So much pain... So incapacitated. Two neck injuries, extreme H, moderate T, severe anxiety, depression, gut problems, and now a groin injury on top of everything. I can't sleep, eat, walk, relax, whisper, shower, go outside, or any other activity considered to be normal... When will this end? My family is so fucking tired of me. And I'm fucking tired of myself. I just don't have energy left to fight. I just want it to end. Please. Please. Please!!!!

So sorry my friend.
Sending you love and support.
No pep talks now... just love and understanding
We feel you.
We are here for you.

Your friend in Laos, Daniel

 

[Contrast]

This is a scary part of human history to be alive as a disabled person.

 

[PeteJ]

Is there lists on here of possible things to reduce tinnitus volume? E.g. drugs like benzos etc.?

I feel suicidal every day because of this. It doesn't fluctuate or reduce so I am in fucking hell. I try to nap at least once a day for an escape but it's loud when I wake up. My ear pain is on and off and I had a good stretch of days where it wasn't too painful. But, recently, I had pretty bad ear pain that lasted a day or two. But, at least it wasn't for consecutive days of severe ear pain like before. Then, I was applying ice and heat to the lower part of my ear (all day!) to no relief.

The tinnitus intensity and loud volume is the worst part. I can't function.

 

[Contrast]

There are very cruel people in this world who want me to stay alive when I am in a horrible state, they want me to stay alive so they can discipline and reform me.

They want to force their behavioral model on me.

 

[Gerbit]

Hang in there. Tinnitus can be a very anxiety inducing condition. Heck everyone on this site knows that, me included! But there is ALWAYS hope! Im still getting over it but I have good days now! Please continue living- even one good moment each month is worth it. Having a crappy life is SO much better than not having one. Even if 10 or 20 years down the line you have ONE good/happy moment, it is all worth it. Please trust me on this.

 

[martin81]

Can't. Too hard. Got worse.

Hang in there.

 

[Harley]

We are living in a primitive part of human history, that is all there is too it.

As far as horrid invisible conditions such as Tinnitus are concerned, we are deep in the barbaric dark ages.
The psycho-babble, self deception selling practitioners are essentially no different than the blood letting practitioners from the medieval era.

Tinnitus is a physical problem (something is physically wrong inside the hearing mechanism), therefore it needs to be addressed as such.
No amount of someone's talking is going to reduce the volume of tinnitus, same as no amount of talking is going to reduce someone's wall climbing toothache.
Real treatment is desperately needed.

We need to collectively reject these intelligence insulting psycho-charlatans and their "just pretend it's the kitchen appliance" types of ideas, on which they base their so called "treatments".

 

[Kriszti]

As far as horrid invisible conditions such as Tinnitus are concerned, we are deep in the barbaric dark ages.
The psycho-babble, self deception selling practitioners are essentially no different than the blood letting practitioners from the medieval era.

Tinnitus is a physical problem (something is physically wrong inside the hearing mechanism), therefore it needs to be addressed as such.
No amount of someone's talking is going to reduce the volume of tinnitus, same as no amount of talking is going to reduce someone's wall climbing toothache.
Real treatment is desperately needed.

We need to collectively reject these intelligence insulting psycho-charlatans and their "just pretend it's the kitchen appliance" types of ideas, on which they base their so called "treatments".

Wait, you haven't got the memo, that we just have adjustment disorder?

 

[Harley]

Wait, you haven't got the memo, that we just have adjustment disorder?

I must have fallen through the cracks somehow.
But I do know that the last person who tried to convince me it's "all in my head" will never make that same mistake again...

 

[serendipity1996]

As far as horrid invisible conditions such as Tinnitus are concerned, we are deep in the barbaric dark ages.
The psycho-babble, self deception selling practitioners are essentially no different than the blood letting practitioners from the medieval era.

Tinnitus is a physical problem (something is physically wrong inside the hearing mechanism), therefore it needs to be addressed as such.
No amount of someone's talking is going to reduce the volume of tinnitus, same as no amount of talking is going to reduce someone's wall climbing toothache.
Real treatment is desperately needed.

We need to collectively reject these intelligence insulting psycho-charlatans and their "just pretend it's the kitchen appliance" types of ideas, on which they base their so called "treatments".

Yes, it's so aggravating. I also really dislike the way that hyperacusis, real painful hyperacusis seems to be conflated with fear of sound by some practitioners like you just need to get over your 'fear and anxiety around sounds' when actually the evidence is increasingly pointing to hyperacusis being a very real injury to the ear. I can't believe that the director of the Tinnitus and Hyperacuis Centre in London, Jonathan Hazell states this on his website:
http://tinnitus.org/hyperacusis-etc/?LMCL=pu5P1m

"Hyperacusis is due to an alteration in the central processing of sound in the auditory pathways where there is an abnormally strong reaction from exposure to moderate sound levels. The cochlea is often completely normal, although patients frequently wrongly believe it is irreversibly damaged. Traditional teaching involved only an understanding of 'recruitment' , the result of cochlea damage. Since all people with hyperacusis can be helped by a behavioural approach with 'sound' therapy, it has become clear that the symptoms cannot be the result of irreversible ear damage."

Most of the recent research, e.g. the finding of pain fibers in the cochlea and potential up-regulation of them after damage goes against this notion.

 

[grate_biff]

@grate_biff PLEASE do not end your life. I beg of you. I am 100% confident that a lot of this is from benzo withdrawal. I am in several support groups and the tinnitus and hyperacusis is extremely common for those of us in tolerance, tapering, etc. As someone who relentlessly experienced these things for months, I know how torturous it all is. BUT, I know MANY on the other side of this thing (including @Star64) and they have gotten their lives back. I am on an extremely slow liquid microtaper myself, using pills and a liquid pharmacy rx - I crossed over to Valium and I know you are already on it. I do not joke when I say that it's going to take me 650 days to get off of 6.5mg of Valium and there are many who do it this slow. I don't know what the future holds for me but I'm holding on to hope that in the end, this extremely slow taper will help me. Feel free to DM me if you want more information on how to do this. There is hope. Please hang on to it.

Thank you @BenzoMom.

I´ll try and hold on for now. It's just plain torture, but the only way to know at what extent benzo is the culprit for my noxacusis is to try and ride it out. Been off since 1st of January. I tapered too fast, but I can´t reinstate now. I also struggle with polydrugging. Too many medications to taper off. Everything just wears me down so much. Feel tied up in all ends.

How is your noxacusis these days? Any better as you taper?

 

[Harley]

Yes, it's so aggravating. I also really dislike the way that hyperacusis, real painful hyperacusis seems to be conflated with fear of sound by some practitioners like you just need to get over your 'fear and anxiety around sounds' when actually the evidence is increasingly pointing to hyperacusis being a very real injury to the ear. I can't believe that the director of the Tinnitus and Hyperacuis Centre in London, Jonathan Hazell states this on his website:
http://tinnitus.org/hyperacusis-etc/?LMCL=pu5P1m

"Hyperacusis is due to an alteration in the central processing of sound in the auditory pathways where there is an abnormally strong reaction from exposure to moderate sound levels. The cochlea is often completely normal, although patients frequently wrongly believe it is irreversibly damaged. Traditional teaching involved only an understanding of 'recruitment' , the result of cochlea damage. Since all people with hyperacusis can be helped by a behavioural approach with 'sound' therapy, it has become clear that the symptoms cannot be the result of irreversible ear damage."

Most of the recent research, e.g. the finding of pain fibers in the cochlea and potential up-regulation of them after damage goes against this notion.

I would pay good money to witness the following experiment:

1) Mr Jonathan Hazell recieves a well placed kick in the groin with a steel toed work boot.
2) The following statement is recited back to Mr Hazell, as he is lying on the ground in fetal position, while making various high-pitched squeeling sounds:

"The feeling of pain you are experiencing is due to the alteration of the central processing of sensory pathways, where there is an abnormally strong reaction from your scrotum being exposed to the hardened tip of your assistant's shoe.
Your scrotum is completely normal, although you might wrongfully believe it is damaged.
The best course of action for you to take, is to immagine you are lying on a beach with the sound of seagulls and calm waves in the distance".

This should of course be immediatelly followed up with a kick in the teeth and a similar statement, but this time pertaining to his oral cavity.

For better outcome, I would propose an alteration between the two for at least couple of hours.