Suicidal

[Greg Sacramento]

You have nothing to be sad about, people have it so much worse than you do with tinnitus or not. I have heard this statement far too many times and I think it's time to emphasize just how hurtful and wrong it is.

Let's us take the concept of - people have it worse than you do - and apply it to a pretty graphic situation. A person had to have their complete lower jaw removed because of either cancer or injury.

Technically, someone will always have it worse than you, but this does not mean that you should feel guilty about being upset over your own circumstances.

Society has become too judgmental and, in turn, has created a threatening and intimidating environment for those who need a helping hand.

Some who say - you can live with this - may be detrimental to someone's mental health and focus. Before you go and tell someone they shouldn't be upset, try to remember that you don't know what happens behind closed doors.

Then we have this. Visit a trauma level 1 healthcare facility, I bet you will be able to feel the pain of someone who had their jaw removed and you won't be comparing their pain to yours. >>>> https://scienceblogs.com/neurophilosophy/2009/12/17/feeling-the-pain-of-others

 

[Harley]

Just to mention, a good number of people with missing limbs experience "phantom pain" (another invisible illness). From my understanding, taking pain medication doesn't touch it, as it's "phantom". But it is apparently extraordinarily painful. Different kind of pain than tinnitus/hyperacusis, but from what I can gather, in many cases, just as difficult to deal with.

Yes Lane that is true, I had touched on that one a while ago in a different post, so I will recap just briefly, but the phantom limb pain is mostly intermittent and in most cases it eventually goes away.

If Tinnitus was also intermittent, it would be much easier to deal with, since you get a chance to recover.

 

[Greg Sacramento]

This is how you can tell the true sufferers apart.
I often fantasize about someone offering me a great deal of trading both my legs for Tinnitus to stop.
I'm convinced that most true sufferers would hack them off themselves in exchange for silence.

When someone says stuff like: "at least I still have my legs", it tells me that this person has not yet reached the level of suffering and distress at which this would seem like a great bargain to them.

Yes life with no legs would take lot of adjustments, but there are may advantages over Tinnitus.
First, getting on disability should be a breeze.
The ability to sleep, relax and think are literally the foundations of our well being, as humans are not designed to function without those.
Legs are important too, but that importance is secondary to the above.

I would try to learn to walk again (maybe with prosthetic limbs)
If I was in pain, I could take pain meds and then I could enjoy little things in life, such as reading, relaxing, watching sunset, hanging out with friends, enjoying movies etc, without the screetching loud eeeeeeeeeeeeee destroying all of it.

I have severe somatic high pitched physical tinnitus.

With that from injury I have several extremely painful conditions including cut nerves in my mouth that causes a burning sensation like red hot peppers.

At this point, being recent, I would choose to have my severe physical pain gone over my somatic tinnitus.

 

[Gabriel]

I would say there is always more pain that exist but we can't know before we have experienced it.

If I never had tinnitus I could have not known how painful it was and I would have traded my autoimmune disease for tinnitus.

Now that I have tinnitus, I would trade back my auto immune disease (if I had a choice between the two). Because even if it impacts my life a lot and have spoiled my life a lot, at least I can take medication for it and I never think of it when I am in remission.

But I can't say "I would have that over tinnitus" if I don't know the "that" or experienced it.

There is always worse than we can imagine.

 

[joe e]

The ability to sleep, relax and think are literally the foundations of our well being, as humans are not designed to function without those.

This.

...and to daydream of and plan my future the way i did before tinnitus. Losing this crushed my spirit.

 

[Greg Sacramento]

[

But I can't say "I would have that over tinnitus" if I don't know the "that" or experienced it.

There is always worse than we can imagine.

Agree. The only way for someone to be to honesty judgmental is to also have another severe condition to compare. A condition such as having cut trigeminal nerves or severe trigeminal neuro ear pain. Many with conditions such as this also have tinnitus.

 

[Astro]

This is how you can tell the true sufferers apart.
I often fantasize about someone offering me a great deal of trading both my legs for Tinnitus to stop.
I'm convinced that most true sufferers would hack them off themselves in exchange for silence.

When someone says stuff like: "at least I still have my legs", it tells me that this person has not yet reached the level of suffering and distress at which this would seem like a great bargain to them.

Yes life with no legs would take lot of adjustments, but there are may advantages over Tinnitus.
First, getting on disability should be a breeze.
The ability to sleep, relax and think are literally the foundations of our well being, as humans are not designed to function without those.
Legs are important too, but that importance is secondary to the above.

I would try to learn to walk again (maybe with prosthetic limbs)
If I was in pain, I could take pain meds and then I could enjoy little things in life, such as reading, relaxing, watching sunset, hanging out with friends, enjoying movies etc, without the screetching loud eeeeeeeeeeeeee destroying all of it.

I havent suffered because I can deal with it? And am optimistic? Are you not reading the part where I said I was severely depressed and suicidal for 2 years. I self mutilated and put a gun in my mouth on more than a few occasions. Thats not where I'm at now. It's also kinda of insulting to say because I'm optimistic I havent suffered. The people that are commenting to me are highly toxic. It's all new sufferers.... still in panic mode. Mist people that have had it for years dint come here for a reason, because they are okay. I popped back in to try to support people and a few of your horrible attitudes is making me regret that a lot.

 

[Harley]

I have severe somatic high pitched physical tinnitus.

With that from injury I have several extremely painful conditions including cut nerves in my mouth that causes a burning sensation like red hot peppers.

At this point, being recent, I would choose to have my severe physical pain gone over my somatic tinnitus.

Yes of course there will be exceptions as you have numerous things going on.
But honestly, if you had no other issues and if it was between legs and Tinnitus, would you not give them up for silence?
I would in a heartbeat.

 

[Harley]

I havent suffered because I can deal with it? And am optimistic? Are you not reading the part where I said I was severely depressed and suicidal for 2 years. I self mutilated and put a gun in my mouth on more than a few occasions. Thats not where I'm at now. It's also kinda of insulting to say because I'm optimistic I havent suffered. The people that are commenting to me are highly toxic. It's all new sufferers.... still in panic mode. Mist people that have had it for years dint come here for a reason, because they are okay. I popped back in to try to support people and a few of your horrible attitudes is making me regret that a lot.

First off, you need to honestly calm the fuck down (I'm trying to use your kind of language, so you can better understand me).
I wasn't really calling you out specifically, but for some reason, the "leg over Tinnitus" debate comes up quite a bit.
But that one did give you away as just another garden variety Tinnitus sufferer, who's now acting like he climbed Mount Everest.

Also, a guy who does not hesitate to insult others at a drop of a hat is suddenly insulted?
That is pretty twisted, but so is your attitude towards those who are the most vulnerable such as @PeteJ.

Look, I'm sorry if I failed to recognize your greatness, as you are obviously another Tinnitus super hero in the making.
I know you deserve a metal and a pad on your back, but all you are getting is grief from those who are selfishly in too much distress to aprecciate your wisdom.

 

[Astro]

First off, you need to honestly calm the fuck down (I'm trying to use your kind of language, so you can better understand me).
I wasn't really calling you out specifically, but for some reason, the "leg over Tinnitus" debate comes up quite a bit.
But that one did give you away as just another garden variety Tinnitus sufferer, who's now acting like he climbed Mount Everest.

Also, a guy who does not hesitate to insult others at a drop of a hat is suddenly insulted?
That is pretty twisted, but so is your attitude towards those who are the most vulnerable such as @PeteJ.

Look, I'm sorry if I failed to recognize your greatness, as you are obviously another Tinnitus super hero in the making.
I know you deserve a metal and a pad on your back, but all you are getting is grief from those who are selfishly in too much distress to aprecciate your wisdom.

You are insufferable holy shit. But you sound exactly like I sounded a few months in. And you will sound alot like I do now in a few years. If you wanna compare t like everrryyyyy fucking one here to obsess if you'll be able to adjust as well... You are acting and sound exactly how I was so I guess I should have more compassion for you. My ears hurt probably 5 days out of the week sometimes weeks without letting up. They feel full and like I'm listening to people slightly under water. My ears ring ALWAYS. Unmaskable. I can hear it no matter what. I actually listen to my t at night and have it sadistically lull me to sleep. My cup of give a fuck is just empty.

 

[Astro]

I wish you would see that I'm posting this because of how distressed I remember being and I want people to know that worst case if it doesnt get better or if it gets worse. The amount it bothers you becomes bearable.

 

[PeteJ]

First off, you need to honestly calm the fuck down (I'm trying to use your kind of language, so you can better understand me).
I wasn't really calling you out specifically, but for some reason, the "leg over Tinnitus" debate comes up quite a bit.
But that one did give you away as just another garden variety Tinnitus sufferer, who's now acting like he climbed Mount Everest.

Also, a guy who does not hesitate to insult others at a drop of a hat is suddenly insulted?
That is pretty twisted, but so is your attitude towards those who are the most vulnerable such as @PeteJ.

Look, I'm sorry if I failed to recognize your greatness, as you are obviously another Tinnitus super hero in the making.
I know you deserve a metal and a pad on your back, but all you are getting is grief from those who are selfishly in too much distress to aprecciate your wisdom.

He claims he suffers as bad as we do or was feeling suicidal at one time but he seems hostile and negative in all of his replies. If anything, shouldn't the attitude be supportive no matter what we say, at least?

For the record, I don't want to feel this way. I find death scary especially intentional death. I can promise to anyone that I wouldn't think about this if the tinnitus tones weren't so loud. I am in shock every day that it is. I have talked to people in real life who have mild tinnitus. I know that one can live that and work. But, I also know that mine isn't typical or usual.

Some people here get angry when I describe it like that. Well, I cannot hear yours. But, the "electrical noises' in my head of several tones doesn't seem similar to what people here described to me. It sounds like electrical saws but just a higher pitch and just loud enough that it is too intrusive. Again, I reiterate that it worsened since last April and doesn't vary like before. So little to no fluctuation. No relief.

I don't know how one lives with something like this. People tell me I am still here, posting. Yes, but I am not "living." I don't enjoy life. I don't sleep properly and I haven't worked since the onset. People talk about losing limbs but I don't like comparing disabilities. But, I know what people mean. At least, people can see that you are disabled. That's another reason you can't compare this to other conditions. It's the invisible disability that impacts your brain and ears. Specialists in the field can't do anything about it and current treatments are ineffective.

People are generally unsympathetic as they can't see anything wrong so they have no clue. I am frustrated that the science is so behind. We are hoping we miraculously improve without explanation. People from doctors to people here say "you need to get used to it." I don't know how to respond to that except say it is very frustrating to be told that.

I don't find life worth it and the 'firing neurons in my malfunctioning brain" makes it difficult to do anything complicated including planning something like suicide.

 

[Autumnly]

The people that are commenting to me are highly toxic. It's all new sufferers.... still in panic mode. Mist people that have had it for years dint come here for a reason, because they are okay. I popped back in to try to support people and a few of your horrible attitudes is making me regret that a lot.

I've had tinnitus for six years, longer than you do and I was also one of the people that commented on your posts.

I wish you would see that I'm posting this because of how distressed I remember being and I want people to know that worst case if it doesnt get better or if it gets worse. The amount it bothers you becomes bearable.

That's not true for every person with tinnitus. Otherwise, we wouldn't have millions of people worldwide that aren't even able to work anymore or people that even after years opt for euthanasia. It's awesome that you want to share hope and encouragement but we can do this without ignoring the very severe side of tinnitus where things don't get any easier or more bearable.

But I hope you're right and that things will only get better for Harley and PeteJ.

 

[vermillion]

It is pointless to argue on tinnitus severity. Each person talks out of their own perspective, which is expected and inevitable. One thing we can all agree though it's that T is a bitch.

 

[Harley]

You are insufferable holy shit. But you sound exactly like I sounded a few months in. And you will sound alot like I do now in a few years. If you wanna compare t like everrryyyyy fucking one here to obsess if you'll be able to adjust as well... You are acting and sound exactly how I was so I guess I should have more compassion for you. My ears hurt probably 5 days out of the week sometimes weeks without letting up. They feel full and like I'm listening to people slightly under water. My ears ring ALWAYS. Unmaskable. I can hear it no matter what. I actually listen to my t at night and have it sadistically lull me to sleep. My cup of give a fuck is just empty.

Give it up bud.
I'm not asking for your compassion or your great words of wisdom.
Sorry if I hit a nerve, but I had to expose you for what you are.

 

[Greg Sacramento]

Yes of course there will be exceptions as you have numerous things going on.
But honestly, if you had no other issues and if it was between legs and Tinnitus, would you not give them up for silence?
I would in a heartbeat.

Thank you @Harley for your compassion.
I worked in healthcare - body and mind and found it unethical to draw comparisons between the two. I question the idea of dualism, the view that the mind and body function separately.

From my experience, doctors don't first try to determine how real someone's complaints is either by exam testing or physical inspection. I found that physical diagnosis coding isn't first of interest to them when seeing a new patient.

With any complaint of pain and that would include tinnitus, they study body language for emotional aspects. They feel that they need to determine if such things as obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is present. I feel that this is wrong as some may have a part of their brain smaller. They also may have been exposed to either emotional or physical pain at a young age. They feel that many with OCD can not deal with anything but total perfection, have extreme thinking and are complainers.

I find concern with those that say if I can live with it, you can too or that it will get better as a generalization to all.
Healthcare and procedures can cause harm. There are some treatment for the physical nature of tinnitus, but doctors must work as teams and be up to date on the best care.

 

[Astro]

Give it up bud.
I'm not asking for your compassion or your great words of wisdom.
Sorry if I hit a nerve, but I had to expose you for what you are.

And what exactly did you expose of me? You made assumptions that's about it. You are a miserable mf and I never said I had great words of wisdom. Just that I've been through it but honestly you sound like a piece of shit and all your distress might very well be karma. I'm done responding to you.

 

[Harley]

And what exactly did you expose of me? You made assumptions that's about it. You are a miserable mf and I never said I had great words of wisdom. Just that I've been through it but honestly you sound like a piece of shit and all your distress might very well be karma. I'm done responding to you.

I exposed you for the mouthy, arrogant asshole, who comes here to stroke his ego under the pretense of trying to help others.
But you already know that.

 

[Astro]

I exposed you for the mouthy, arrogant asshole, who comes here to stroke his ego under the pretense of trying to help others.
But you already know that.

How would one have a ego about tinnitus? You're projecting your thoughts onto me. Sorry for telling you that it will be easier to deal with down the road. Do you act like this to people in your day to day life? Peoples true colors come out when they're suffering and you are a shitty person

 

[TheDanishGirl]

How would one have a ego about tinnitus? You're projecting your thoughts onto me. Sorry for telling you that it will be easier to deal with down the road. Do you act like this to people in your day to day life? Peoples true colors come out when they're suffering and you are a shitty person

But why do you keep making false claims?? It is not guaranteed to get easier down the road: look at @vermillion and @IAmCalifornia - it certainly hasn't gotten any easier for them over time.

And go read about Gaby Olthuis (a lady who was granted euthanasia due to tinnitus and hyperacusis - she had had tinnitus for 13 years at the time of her death)

Educate yourself, and stop burying your head in the sand and denying the FACTS : that some unlucky few never get used to this.

 

[Astro]

But why do you keep making false claims?? It is not guaranteed to get easier down the road: look at @vermillion and @IAmCalifornia - it certainly hasn't gotten any easier for them over time.

And go read about Gaby Olthuis (a lady who was granted euthanasia due to tinnitus and hyperacusis - she had had tinnitus for 13 years at the time of her death)

Educate yourself, and stop burying your head in the sand and denying the FACTS : that some unlucky few never get used to this.

I know about gaby.
And I'm well educated on t
And gaby was mentally Ill. That's why she wanted to die. Obviously the.mental illness was caused or intensified by her t but her mind couldn't take it... tinnitus can cause you to be depressed and then in turn suicidal. So you can either try to not let it bother you or let it eat away at you until you die. I choose the first. You act like I'm promising butterflies and rainbows... I'm not saying you wint be suffering down the road. But you'll be more accustomed to the suffering and it should be easier. Unless you are mentally Ill

 

[Astro]

Would you like to see a photo of my arm? My multiple suicide attempts are very apparent. Long vertical deep cuts. so regardless what you think I have been in the same exact mind state as you and I am now not. I never thought that possible and my t is honestly screaming at me right now from these hate filled conversations and I'm still not distressed... still happy. Never thought it was possible.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

I know about gaby.
And I'm well educated on t
And gaby was mentally Ill. That's why she wanted to die. Obviously the.mental illness was caused or intensified by her t but her mind couldn't take it... tinnitus can cause you to be depressed and then in turn suicidal. So you can either try to not let it bother you or let it eat away at you until you die. I choose the first. You act like I'm promising butterflies and rainbows... I'm not saying you wint be suffering down the road. But you'll be more accustomed to the suffering and it should be easier. Unless you are mentally Ill

Damn. The ignorance is strong with this one......

You keep living in your delusional world. You have A LOT to learn still.

(btw I am not suicidal myself. Even though I HATE my tinnitus with all my soul, I am sorta coping well with it - but unlike you I will never bury my head in the sand and deny that this condition in itself takes lifes in the worst/severe cases)

 

[Harley]

Do you act like this to people in your day to day life? Peoples true colors come out when they're suffering and you are a shitty person

Are you fucking kidding me?
This coming from a guy who's idea of support is to unleash a string of profanities, that would make a sailer blush.
Do you even read the shit that you post??

By the way I thought you said you will stop talking to me and yet here you are still lingering like a bad smell, looking for my attention.
I don't care for your reasoning or explanations, so save yourself the time.
Just shut your mouth already.

Can you now please fuck off for real as you promised earlier, or do I need to act it out through hand puppets for you?

 

[Harley]

Damn. The ignorance is strong with this one......

You keep living in your delusional world. You have A LOT to learn still.

(btw I am not suicidal myself. Even though I HATE my tinnitus with all my soul, I am sorta coping well with it - but unlike you I will never bury my head in the sand and deny that this condition in itself takes lifes in the worst/severe cases)

You might need a restraining order against this idiot, as he is simply unable to comprehend that some people actually dare to have a different opinion.

 

[fishbone]

Would you like to see a photo of my arm? My multiple suicide attempts are very apparent. Long vertical deep cuts. so regardless what you think I have been in the same exact mind state as you and I am now not. I never thought that possible and my t is honestly screaming at me right now from these hate filled conversations and I'm still not distressed... still happy. Never thought it was possible.

Be very proud of yourself for overcoming such a horrible ordeal and managing to remain positive even though you faced hell. It takes lots of courage to overcome such hellish ordeals. You cannot change how people think at times, so move on with your conversations.....

 

[Astro]

Did I once say to not have your own opinion? I was just trying to say I've felt the same and I'm okay now. Tinnitus really brings out the worst in people. I acted how you are now and I finally understand why my wife left me. The energy here is horrible.

 

[dayma]

Honestly these posts do not seem to be helping the OP....

 

[Astro]

Sorry I swore at you that's how I speak, sorry me trying to tell people to stay strong minded offended you. I'm done.

 

[GSC]

And what exactly did you expose of me? You made assumptions that's about it. You are a miserable mf and I never said I had great words of wisdom. Just that I've been through it but honestly you sound like a piece of shit and all your distress might very well be karma. I'm done responding to you.

For someone who came here to help new sufferers and offer support, you are doing the exact opposite. What was your point of being on here again?