Suicidal

[Bimmerboy]

I'm so bad today, I went a good month without thinking about turning off, but it's become more and more enticing today. I hate that I'm posting this again but I feel so shit. I woke up with so much pain and the worst is I can't put a reason to it. Was it the birds? Was it the rubbish truck? Was it my fan? Was it my dirtbag neighbour calling for me loudly through windows while I sleep? My dog coughing loud? Pressure from earplugs? All that playing through my mind. Knowing that there ain't no one who can help me. Makes it 10 times worse.

Fuck ENTs. Hell, fuck medical school and its useless ideologies. My whole life is fucked and ruined. I went from social to a bitch stuck inside, lost my childhood girl, most of leisure activities and hell, I've not mentioned it on here because I was trying to hide my identity, but damn I was en route to being a pro fighter.

Not only that, I had so many business ventures. In the UK we don't have wrestling or it's not popular here. But I was well on my way to changing that, my grandfather and father opened a wrestling gym here. I was the one to carry forward the legacy.

The worst part of it is the community where I live also began to follow the gym and had high hopes to push people towards wrestling. I'm trying to paint a picture without giving away much because I'll be known otherwise. Like I was a very popular person, to now becoming a no one. Making less than minimum wage and most importantly feeling out of touch with society. Everyday I think of all the potential lost, all the years I spent training, money I spent going to get a degree --- all down the drain. Every day I'm reminded of my past athleticism, which shows this can happen to anyone, even if they healthy.

I don't know about everyone else but I also feel embarrassed to have this condition. Because I think there's a stigma attached to having a chronic illness. I'm ashamed as it shows I'm ill or whatever. I don't like to tell people about my condition.

But the worst thing for me is, seeing my mum having to work late night to make the house run. I used to be the man of the house --- the breadwinner. Spending everything on my family. I'm now the bitch of the house.

If I'm honest I don't know what the next step is for me going forward.

But I want to say everyone on Tinnitus Talk has been helpful and supportive. I wish this website didn't exist and the conditions we have didn't exist.

But hell, Tinnitus Talk has given me some sanity over these last months.

If I'm honest I've given up now. I've been patient enough but cannot see my life improving. Therefore I've taken the decision to end it all and I'm damn serious.

A few hours with my family tonight and then I'll be gone.

It's been a shit life. I HOPE GOD BLESS YOU ALL and takes your pain away. I've lost this battle but you guys can win the war.

 

[Exit]

I'm so bad today, I went a good month without thinking about turning off, but it's become more and more enticing today. I hate that I'm posting this again but I feel so shit. I woke up with so much pain and the worst is I can't put a reason to it. Was it the birds? Was it the rubbish truck? Was it my fan? Was it my dirtbag neighbour calling for me loudly through windows while I sleep? My dog coughing loud? Pressure from earplugs? All that playing through my mind. Knowing that there ain't no one who can help me. Makes it 10 times worse.

Fuck ENTs. Hell, fuck medical school and its useless ideologies. My whole life is fucked and ruined. I went from social to a bitch stuck inside, lost my childhood girl, most of leisure activities and hell, I've not mentioned it on here because I was trying to hide my identity, but damn I was en route to being a pro fighter.

Not only that, I had so many business ventures. In the UK we don't have wrestling or it's not popular here. But I was well on my way to changing that, my grandfather and father opened a wrestling gym here. I was the one to carry forward the legacy.

The worst part of it is the community where I live also began to follow the gym and had high hopes to push people towards wrestling. I'm trying to paint a picture without giving away much because I'll be known otherwise. Like I was a very popular person, to now becoming a no one. Making less than minimum wage and most importantly feeling out of touch with society. Everyday I think of all the potential lost, all the years I spent training, money I spent going to get a degree --- all down the drain. Every day I'm reminded of my past athleticism, which shows this can happen to anyone, even if they healthy.

I don't know about everyone else but I also feel embarrassed to have this condition. Because I think there's a stigma attached to having a chronic illness. I'm ashamed as it shows I'm ill or whatever. I don't like to tell people about my condition.

But the worst thing for me is, seeing my mum having to work late night to make the house run. I used to be the man of the house --- the breadwinner. Spending everything on my family. I'm now the bitch of the house.

If I'm honest I don't know what the next step is for me going forward.

But I want to say everyone on Tinnitus Talk has been helpful and supportive. I wish this website didn't exist and the conditions we have didn't exist.

But hell, Tinnitus Talk has given me some sanity over these last months.

If I'm honest I've given up now. I've been patient enough but cannot see my life improving. Therefore I've taken the decision to end it all and I'm damn serious.

A few hours with my family tonight and then I'll be gone.

It's been a shit life. I HOPE GOD BLESS YOU ALL and takes your pain away. I've lost this battle but you guys can win the war.

My friend, I've had a shit life almost since you were born

Don't give up hope during the first year.

 

[Sleaford Mod]

I'm so bad today, I went a good month without thinking about turning off, but it's become more and more enticing today. I hate that I'm posting this again but I feel so shit. I woke up with so much pain and the worst is I can't put a reason to it. Was it the birds? Was it the rubbish truck? Was it my fan? Was it my dirtbag neighbour calling for me loudly through windows while I sleep? My dog coughing loud? Pressure from earplugs? All that playing through my mind. Knowing that there ain't no one who can help me. Makes it 10 times worse.

Fuck ENTs. Hell, fuck medical school and its useless ideologies. My whole life is fucked and ruined. I went from social to a bitch stuck inside, lost my childhood girl, most of leisure activities and hell, I've not mentioned it on here because I was trying to hide my identity, but damn I was en route to being a pro fighter.

Not only that, I had so many business ventures. In the UK we don't have wrestling or it's not popular here. But I was well on my way to changing that, my grandfather and father opened a wrestling gym here. I was the one to carry forward the legacy.

The worst part of it is the community where I live also began to follow the gym and had high hopes to push people towards wrestling. I'm trying to paint a picture without giving away much because I'll be known otherwise. Like I was a very popular person, to now becoming a no one. Making less than minimum wage and most importantly feeling out of touch with society. Everyday I think of all the potential lost, all the years I spent training, money I spent going to get a degree --- all down the drain. Every day I'm reminded of my past athleticism, which shows this can happen to anyone, even if they healthy.

I don't know about everyone else but I also feel embarrassed to have this condition. Because I think there's a stigma attached to having a chronic illness. I'm ashamed as it shows I'm ill or whatever. I don't like to tell people about my condition.

But the worst thing for me is, seeing my mum having to work late night to make the house run. I used to be the man of the house --- the breadwinner. Spending everything on my family. I'm now the bitch of the house.

If I'm honest I don't know what the next step is for me going forward.

But I want to say everyone on Tinnitus Talk has been helpful and supportive. I wish this website didn't exist and the conditions we have didn't exist.

But hell, Tinnitus Talk has given me some sanity over these last months.

If I'm honest I've given up now. I've been patient enough but cannot see my life improving. Therefore I've taken the decision to end it all and I'm damn serious.

A few hours with my family tonight and then I'll be gone.

It's been a shit life. I HOPE GOD BLESS YOU ALL and takes your pain away. I've lost this battle but you guys can win the war.

This is me writing several years ago:

"I certainly have profound suicidal ideations. Now my tinnitus fluctuates between being extremely loud and off the scale. It's just day after day of searing, squealing, hissing madness. Basically, I just don't understand what people are going on about when they use the word 'habituation'. How can one become less aware of sounds that are so loud, incessant, harsh and grating? CBT doesn't impress me either because it deals with cognitive distortions and not the primal emotions of fear, loathing and utter frustration/desperation that are so much a part of one's reaction to tinnitus. Sorry to sound so gloomy. But I see my situation as almost utterly bereft of hope."

"Much as I applaud the courage and tenacity of many of the contributors to this thread, there has to be a place here for people like myself who have struggled with very severe tinnitus for so long and simply do not wish to continue with that struggle any longer. We deserve the option of assisted suicide."​

I made this post when I was getting nowhere.

To cut a long story short (and even though I am still an advocate for doctor-assisted suicide/euthanasia), several years further down the road, I eventually habituated to a point where I found my tinnitus occasionally annoying and distracting.

Been having a wobble recently due to tinnitus getting combined with other chronic health issues because of my age but it is really just a case of retracing old steps and applying lessons previously learned.

You may draw whatever conclusions you like after reading this. Maybe you will think. 'Ah, this guy's tinnitus couldn't have been all that loud in the first place'. And that's fair enough. Tinnitus is a subjective experience that makes comparisons difficult.

Plus, although my tinnitus is 'reactive' and fluctuates, I don't have accompanying ear pain or hyperacusis. But I gather that there is a method for dealing with that too that involves slowly and gently acclimatising oneself to greater levels of sound tolerance. Presumably there is a more accurate description of that approach somewhere on here.

Anyway, all that I am saying is that I was in a very bad place for a very long time and yet I still got through it. The logic of habituation (that if you decouple the infernal racket from the profoundly aversive reaction it provokes it will slip below the level of conscious awareness) did, in the long run, proved to be valid in my case.

In spite of the criticisms of TRT that I have read on here this evening, this approach worked for Dr Nagler, who by his own description has tinnitus that is like a cross between a screaming tea kettle and a jet turbine, and that he claimed could be heard over the sound of the Niagara Falls when he sailed close to this tourist attraction in the Maid of Orleans boat. So this method seems to have borne fruit for some.

The extensive literature on chronic pain/illness management may also be of relevance. Here I am thinking of authors like John Kabat-Zinn, Vidyamala Burch, Darlene Cohen, Toni Bernhard and others. Googling for information on them may get you somewhere. I also see you as possibly being overly self-critical in the above post. If a friend of yours was in the same position, would you be as hard on them?

In closing, I should add that I only occasionally swing by here these days and so do not respond to replies in threads or PM'.

Given that the disagreements between advocates of TRT, CBT, MBCT/MBSR and their detractors are also pretty much the same as they were 15 years ago, I prefer to stay out of these disputes as they just tend to go round in circles. But maybe something I have typed in this reply might turn out to be of some use.

 

[Bimmerboy]

@Exit, I'm not strong like you brother. Like they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. Athletic guy like me shouldn't fall ill. Instead I've been struck down with ear issues and put on 40 kg in 6 months. I'm far from what I used to be. Sad looking at what I've become.

 

[dan]

Anybody have an insanely loud tinnitus? Like 60 decibels, in your face tinnitus? Like 50 mosquitos buzzing at the same time in your ears?

 

[dan]

@Exit, I'm not strong like you brother. Like they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. Athletic guy like me shouldn't fall ill. Instead I've been struck down with ear issues and put on 40 kg in 6 months. I'm far from what I used to be. Sad looking at what I've become.

Hang in there fighter! 6 months is nothing in the intrusive tinnitus world. Give it 3 years, it will quiet down and you will acclimate to whatever is left. Granted you must accept your soccer stadium and wrestling career are over, but it's not the end of the world by any means.

 

[Daniel Lion]

Doctors know shit about tapering, so I'm on my own, but I'm very informed about it. Still, one can't avoid hell going through this shit.

The problem with my ADs is I've been on them far too long, so tolerance towards them has also become part of my problems.(Venlafaxine since 2002 and Mirtazapine since 2011)

Hope you are feeling OK today, and thank you @Daniel Lion for thinking of me/us

Thinking of you brother, everyday.

I'm losing my mind completely. I feel out of control over my own actions. Possesed by a dark force. I have constant thoughts of destroying myself. I'm so afraid. I don't want to die, but it is out of my control at this point and it's the most frightening scenario I could ever imagine. I'm gonna get killed. Some force will kill me.

I want to say to everybody in case I am meeting my demise soon. I send my love to all you fellow sufferers and this community.

A person can only take so much. Sorry I couldn't make it, I gave it my best and hope you all will succeed in finding some form of peace where I could not. Not one person deserves this. Maybe well meet again, in some form...

Hi Sister TDG,

Is there anybody you can lean on? You need looking after, gotta bring the nervous system down many notches.

I want to smother you hugs and warmth my friend.

Inhale and say deep and exhale say er... deeper... Do for 10 minutes at a time.

Dark forces have no business visiting an angel like yourself.

Ww love you.

Sometimes the nervous system needs to be sledgehammered with Benzos until we can walk again. I can attest to that.

Praying for you XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

[Exit]

Anybody have an insanely loud tinnitus? Like 60 decibels, in your face tinnitus? Like 50 mosquitos buzzing at the same time in your ears?

Getting there... except no nice buzzer sounds.

 

[PeteJ]

I would trade my pain hyperacusis anytime with a severe tinnitus (I have mild tinnitus). The constant sharpening pain from hyperacusis in the ears is excruciating, I cannot even speak because it hurts.

So beware what you wish for.

You have MILD tinnitus. At least, there are OPTIONS for pain medications. The ones who agreed with you have mild tinnitus too.

I have both severe tinnitus and hyperacusis (it's mild most of the time but can be pretty severe at times).

I think severe tinnitus is worse because there's absolutely nothing that can be done or even tried.

 

[PeteJ]

Getting there... except no nice buzzer sounds.

Mine is insanely loud. I think I know what he means. Mosquito sounds, cicadas... people often describe it as buzzing sounds from insects. Fucking terrible. I think that should be recorded and played over headphones for every human. Then they have to walk around with it for several days. Start with politicians who make up the government.

 

[PeteJ]

Severity is everything, my friends. It's really not that hard to picture other hearing disorders, in severe forms, being excruciating. Everyone's favorite "grass is greener" is loudness hyperacusis, and yet 99% of these people describe something that isn't loudness hyperacusis at all. It's always some vague concept like aural fullness or reactivity.

Yes, with severe loudness hyperacusis, the actual volume of noises is literally 5 times louder and the brain spazzes out trying to interpret the signal.

I can picture them all. I can picture no hyperacusis (pain or loudness), but with a million tones that can't be masked and has no escape.

Of course, I can also picture noxacusis, where sounds cause lasting burning pain. Sounds stunningly torturous.

Then there's distortions, where life is like an alternate reality.

Or clarity issues.

Or intense vertigo attacks where you could be at work and know you could have to be hospitalized at any given second.

Fuck guys, let's be open-minded. Severe is severe. Mild is mild. It should really be that simple.

I put a washcloth filled with ice cubes after a loud noise causes excruciating pain to one of my ears. I alternate with making it as hot as I can stand. It doesn't help much at all because I can't 'reach' the site or source where it's happening (obviously). But, it's *something*. I don't know if opioids will reach the ear but there's several paid medications one can try.

There's nothing you can do or try for severe tinnitus except suicide which is the only way to not "feel/hear" it anymore.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

Whenever I want to demonstrate to someone what severe tinnitus is like, I play YouTube's "Tinnitus Nightmare", which was posted by an older gentleman on 06/12/12 (and I wonder where he is now). Everyone who I have played this for cannot stand it for more than two minutes, and has confessed that he/she had no idea that the hearing organs/brain could malfunction in such an atrocious fashion.

I would like to attend one of Jastreboff's (or Julian Cowan Hill's) seminars and play this as loudly as this older gentleman hears it; let's see how long they would still insist that the intensity and character of the sound was not important, only your reaction to it.

 

[Johan001]

Anybody have an insanely loud tinnitus? Like 60 decibels, in your face tinnitus? Like 50 mosquitos buzzing at the same time in your ears?

How do you measure the 60 dB? If I mask on the same frequency (8000 Hz) and measure it with dB meter, it may be around 40 - 50 dB. When I try to mask it with regular sounds, like, radio for example, then I hear it well clear over 60 dB and even at 70 dB ambient noise level.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

Hi Sister TDG,

Is there anybody you can lean on? You need looking after, gotta bring the nervous system down many notches.

I want to smother you hugs and warmth my friend.

Inhale and say deep and exhale say er... deeper... Do for 10 minutes at a time.

Dark forces have no business visiting an angel like yourself.

Ww love you.

Sometimes the nervous system needs to be sledgehammered with Benzos until we can walk again. I can attest to that.

Praying for you XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thank you Daniel. You're so sweet. I've tried but nothing works at this point. I do breathing exercises and meditation but the anxiety and deep deep sorrow won't let go, even a tiny bit. It just gets worse. Benzos I can't take as I've been hooked on them before and had to go through a 3 year withdrawal. I don't know what to do...

I think it's the Mirtazapine that has destroyed my body and mind, but nothing I can do about that, because I can't taper off it. The withdrawals are hell and I can't take more pain than I'm already in.

 

[grate_biff]

Thank you Daniel. You're so sweet. I've tried but nothing works at this point. I do breathing exercises and meditation but the anxiety and deep deep sorrow won't let go, even a tiny bit. It just gets worse. Benzos I can't take as I've been hooked on them before and had to go through a 3 year withdrawal. I don't know what to do...

I think it's the Mirtazapine that has destroyed my body and mind, but nothing I can do about that, because I can't taper off it. The withdrawals are hell and I can't take more pain than I'm already in.

Wow. We are in the exact same situation. I'm on 45 mg of Mirtazapine. I think it might cause my severe pain hyperacusis?

We still have a shot at benzo though. Just up-dose as we go on and never look back.
It would at least prolong our lifes, right?

But I also wonder if death is better, than ultimately reach tolerance withdrawals and then have to kill ourselves in total despair.

 

[Zugzug]

Whenever I want to demonstrate to someone what severe tinnitus is like, I play YouTube's "Tinnitus Nightmare", which was posted by an older gentleman on 06/12/12 (and I wonder where he is now). Everyone who I have played this for cannot stand it for more than two minutes, and has confessed that he/she had no idea that the hearing organs/brain could malfunction in such an atrocious fashion.

I would like to attend one of Jastreboff's (or Julian Cowan Hill's) seminars and play this as loudly as this older gentleman hears it; let's see how long they would still insist that the intensity and character of the sound was not important, only your reaction to it.

Even then though, it could never be the real experience. The truly torturous part is the knowledge of where the medical community stands on it. Like tinnitus (and other hearing conditions) would be super manageable if there was a big light at the end of the tunnel. The lack of light kills me more than anything else. So to get the full experience, the person needs the fear and hopelessness. They need to have gone to the top ENT in the area and watch them look puzzled and tell you to deal with it. They need to see that look on the otologist's face when they see normal audiograms, as you complain about hyperacusis.

 

[Zugzug]

@Daniel Lion you have permission to hold me. I will hold you back. The same goes for others in this thread who want to call the quits.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

Even then though, it could never be the real experience. The truly torturous part is the knowledge of where the medical community stands on it. Like tinnitus (and other hearing conditions) would be super manageable if there was a big light at the end of the tunnel. The lack of light kills me more than anything else. So to get the full experience, the person needs the fear and hopelessness. They need to have gone to the top ENT in the area and watch them look puzzled and tell you to deal with it. They need to see that look on the otologist's face when they see normal audiograms, as you complain about hyperacusis.

Yep. Plus the knowledge that you can't turn it off. That it's STUCK in your brain and out of your control. Having headphones on with tinnitus noise won't give that claustrophobic feeling, because they know they have the option of just turning it off.

 

[grate_biff]

Hey @grate_biff, have you considered contacting the Ketamine clinic in Oslo? I see from your information that you live in Moss, Norway. Here is a clinic, Axonklinikken. According to Google Maps, it should be a 50 minute drive or so. Love you, friend.

Thanks for the tip!

I have thought about it.

There was an "ambulant team" one of them being a psychiatrist at my bed (where I live my life) the other day. We talked a little about Ketamine. I'm mostly interested in finding a NMDA-receptor antagonist to take with benzo in order to avoid tolerance and make it more sustainable.

Anyway, he promised to talk to other medical experts and see if they could find a way to help me. I'm not holding my breath as I feel I've tried everything.

Edit: I followed your link and saw that Ketamine is also used for chronic pain. I did not know that. Thanks again. Hopefully this is a new option for me/us.

I think severe tinnitus is worse because there's absolutely nothing that can be done or even tried.

I suffer with both.

Nothing, except benzo helps my noxacusis (a little bit), and as I've said I have tried it all (Gabapentin, Lyrica, Ambroxol, Oxycontin and different nerve blockades (Lidocaine, Botox). I've even cut my TT tendon for god's sake).

When it comes to tinnitus there are several different meds that help me and are worth trying:

Benzo
Baclofen
Flupentixol
Beta blockers

Not even Oxycontin alleviates noxacusis.

 

[dan]

How do you measure the 60 dB? If I mask on the same frequency (8000 Hz) and measure it with dB meter, it may be around 40 - 50 dB. When I try to mask it with regular sounds, like, radio for example, then I hear it well clear over 60 dB and even at 70 dB ambient noise level.

I guess just by what you tried and with self approximation with real noise.
I guess anything over 50 dB is loud.

Like in my case it's as if I am perpetually in a factory with machinery drilling and whirring... it's surreal.

 

[dan]

You have MILD tinnitus. At least, there are OPTIONS for pain medications. The ones who agreed with you have mild tinnitus too.

I have both severe tinnitus and hyperacusis (it's mild most of the time but can be pretty severe at times).

I think severe tinnitus is worse because there's absolutely nothing that can be done or even tried.

I tend to agree, one still has their sanity with mild tinnitus. I'm not saying severe hyperacusis is fun. Catastrophic hyperacusis is basically unliveable - that's when you can't even chew food so you basically starve to death.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

Wow. We are in the exact same situation. I'm on 45 mg of Mirtazapine. I think it might cause my severe pain hyperacusis?

We still have a shot at benzo though. Just up-dose as we go on and never look back.
It would at least prolong our lifes, right?

But I also wonder if death is better, than ultimately reach tolerance withdrawals and then have to kill ourselves in total despair.

I have read your posts and I feel so deeply sad for you. I can relate to your feeling so lively.

I have had the exact same thought, of simply buying more time by staying on benzos and just upping the dose as I reach tolerance again and again, but I can't bring myself to it. The memories of those HORRIBLE withdrawal times have scared me off them for life I think.

 

[Chinmoku]

We still have a shot at benzo though. Just up-dose as we go on and never look back.
It would at least prolong our lifes, right?

But I also wonder if death is better, than ultimately reach tolerance withdrawals and then have to kill ourselves in total despair.

It worked for some people. @birdy stabilised at 4mg Clonazepam. She had to updose a few times to get there. Those are epilepsy doses. I need 10-12 years to put my kids to safety. I live in daily agony. I'm tapering but I'm suffering too much. If I were sure that updosing works I'd try it but once I updosed from 0.5 to 1 mg for one week and the tinnitus didn't improve. So I went back to 0.5 mg which is doing nothing as I worsen.

Perhaps I should have gone up to 2 mg who knows, but finding doctors who accept to prescribe doses above 1 mg has been impossible for me.

 

[Exit]

What benzo doses and use period do you usually get withdrawal effects from?

I experienced with a benzo for a month's time to see if it would lower my tinnitus.

No effects other than feeling numb and dead...?

I was up to 25 mg a day in the end.

 

[Lurius]

Hey @grate_biff, have you considered contacting the Ketamine clinic in Oslo? I see from your information that you live in Moss, Norway. Here is a clinic, Axonklinikken. According to Google Maps, it should be a 50 minute drive or so. Love you, friend.

There's a Ketamine clinic in Oslo!?! Holy shit, I did not know that! I live in Oslo! I'm calling these people on Monday!

 

[Johan001]

I guess just by what you tried and with self approximation with real noise.
I guess anything over 50 dB is loud.

Like in my case it's as if I am perpetually in a factory with machinery drilling and whirring... it's surreal.

Yeah, I'm in the severe category as well.

 

[Chinmoku]

What benzo doses and use period do you usually get withdrawal effects from?

I experienced with a benzo for a month's time to see if it would lower my tinnitus.

No effects other than feeling numb and dead...?

I was up to 25 mg a day in the end.

For tinnitus usually they recommend Clonazepam. Sometimes Xanax, but Clonazepam has a longer half-life. I was given a dose between 0.5 and 1 mg. It doesn't lower my tinnitus.

25 mg a day must have been Valium?

 

[Exit]

25 mg a day must have been Valium?

Yes I tried Valium since I had used it a couple of times before. Would there be any point of another round with Xanax or cConazepam, to lower tinnitus permanently after 2 years?

I guess not but had to ask... :/

 

[Chinmoku]

Would there be any point of another round with Xanax or cConazepam, to lower tinnitus permanently after 2 years?

I guess not but had to ask... :/

It's risky because any time the benzo may get you into tolerance and then it's hell, as your tinnitus would become louder and more intrusive and you would get other symptoms too. It's highly individual. There are both horror stories and success stories. You need to be lucky.

 

[Zugzug]

Yes I tried Valium since I had used it a couple of times before. Would there be any point of another round with Xanax or cConazepam, to lower tinnitus permanently after 2 years?

I guess not but had to ask... :/

Clonazepam helps me, particularly at 1 mg. It definitely helps the tinnitus and helps the loudness hyperacusis a hair, but ultimately makes me care about all of it less.

Unfortunately, I have to take 2 week breaks or so to avoid addiction risk. I would love to take this almost daily.