Hi PeteJ. I felt the need to give you some much needed words of encouragement. I know how you feel. Frankly, I'm in no position to help anyone as it feels like I'm really dangling above the abyss and the rope is about to snap. I'm currently in a dire situation, much like yourself. But I wanted to tell you that there's hope for tinnitus sufferers, for most of you. I guess that this post, in a way, is also directed at myself as I feel utterly hopeless and desperate for relief. Life can be horrendous; it can corner you and break you, take away everything and everyone you've ever loved... I never thought I'd have the "right" to say how hard life can be at the age of 24. I have loud tinnitus as well, which was just recently exacerbated by a severe neck injury. It is really tragic cause I've had chronic neck pain for years (it feels as if my neck is on fire for years), only to re injure it once more. Now it has a somatic element to it, which gives me such incredibly loud tinnitus spikes that at times it may feel as if my head is about to explode. But that's not even the worst part... The worst part is the ruthless, brutal chronic ear pain/hyperacusis. I cannot leave my home, hell I cannot even leave my own room! Even with earplugs and headphones permanently glued to my head, I can barely tolerate a shower of 2 minutes. Every move I make, I have to do in slow-mo so as to not make a wrong move and make too much sound. I haven't heard my own, or my mother's voice for months. I am completely dependent on my family to take care of me, as I can barely wipe my own ass without hurting myself. I'm scared to death and in pain every, single day. Not a day goes by that I don't question the meaning of all of this and how I can make this stop. Suicide comes to mind every, single day. I'm lonely and I long for death on a daily basis.
Still, I'm trying to make the best of it. Am I happy? No, not in the slightest. I'm not even sure whether I know what that means anymore. However, I do force myself to keep reading and learning everyday. I refuse to believe that everything I have ever done is and will be in vain. After all, we've come this far... It's not over until it's over.
There are various universities and pharmaceutical companies working on treatments for tinnitus, and I believe that they're closer than they have ever been. I've seen some really promising results and I have high hopes for FX-322, Lenire, Susan Shore's device, and many other upcoming treatments. Can't you see that there's more hope for tinnitus than ever before? Please hold on and don't give up. I know it is torture, but you can do this. I believe in you and you have to believe in your own strength.
Unlike potential treatments for tinnitus, there's far less hope for my horrid affliction. There are currently no clinical trials in progress for hyperacusis (apart from a sound limiting device) that might give me any sense of relief. I've tried everything for my hyperacusis, but unfortunately the options are very limited, if not non-existent. A proper treatment might be another 20 years away, taking into account the amount of time needed to conduct clinical trials. And yet... I refuse to give up. Everyday I will hope for the best and wish for a better tomorrow and it will only get better if we do everything within our power to make it better. I really hope you can do the same. It's not over until it's over!
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