Suicidal

Wow Daniel, your story was fascinating to say the least. Once again I am sorry to hear that you lost such a close friend. My family all went to St Petersburg in May, I was meant to travel with them but I was too unwell. They said it was an amazing city and they all enjoyed there time there. I purchased the book a few months back Peter the great by Robert Massie, I have started reading this now, so hopefully this book will give me the inspiration to eventually book another holiday so I can finally step foot on the grounds of Peterhof palace. I did go to Warsaw and Krakow last year, I absolutely loved Poland.

I know you are planning on returning to the US in the future, Have you ever thought about coming to Australia? I am sure many of us here would love to see your art work...
If and when I come, I will be sure to look you up. That's a promise.
 
My beard is over 25 years old... :)

It will be interesting whether you will notice a big change (for the worse) when you come back after being absent for several years...
25 years... freaking awesome, like my family... I love it... I am speechless, that takes me home to the kitchen where I spent all my time with my loved ones. Everybody had long beautiful beards.
I am gonna refrain from commenting on the sad state of our country now... another time.
 
Went to the ent and while friendly utterly useless... Nose spray for my sinuses due to cold and a pill to take for a month. Asked about veins throbbing in right ear and possible vascular causes, how it seems much worse when and after lying down but told me to go back to gp and need to book appointment with other specialist. Asked for help with the anxiety, lack of sleep,... but again.... Mentioned panic attack and being ready to faint all day but again...Yes she agrees stress might be part or the whole cause but helping.... Seems I'm left to drown...
 
and a pill to take for a month.

@Gwyndion -- Just a suggestion: Do an online search on this pill and tinnitus to see what you can find out. Most doctors do not consider side effects when prescribing drugs, and don't seem to much care if it might actually exacerbate the condition a person comes in with. -- Not trying to complain; those are just the facts as I see them. Pill taker beware.
 
I thought the following seemed pertinent to this thread:

Creative people who cherish the gift of life often slip into the secret chambers of the creative mind. Their solutions are well-rounded, more sensible than those of people who rely solely upon reason as their mainstay. Gratitude unseals fountains of creativity, because a grateful person is relaxed. This allows him to take stock of his circumstances with an objective mind. A creative person often gets three-dimensional answers to his problems.
 
I want to off myself to end the tinnitus tones. Someone created a thread asking whether you enjoy life. I don't. Every day is the same daily torture event and I am done with it. It is just so intrusive that a suicide plan is difficult. I have to find the right tree and hope the knot is properly tight and so on.

Nothing is lowering the volume and the sheer number of tones is insane. My ear pain comes and goes in severity. I am done.
 
I want to off myself to end the tinnitus tones. Someone created a thread asking whether you enjoy life. I don't. Every day is the same daily torture event and I am done with it. It is just so intrusive that a suicide plan is difficult. I have to find the right tree and hope the knot is properly tight and so on.

Nothing is lowering the volume and the sheer number of tones is insane. My ear pain comes and goes in severity. I am done.
Meanwhile, as you contemplate your demise, you have talked about for a year here like the broken record you are, could you take up underwater basket weaving and find a forum to tell everybody you are thinking about weaving your baskets without a scuba tank because you have had enough?:ROFL:
 
I thought the following seemed pertinent to this thread:

Creative people who cherish the gift of life often slip into the secret chambers of the creative mind. Their solutions are well-rounded, more sensible than those of people who rely solely upon reason as their mainstay. Gratitude unseals fountains of creativity, because a grateful person is relaxed. This allows him to take stock of his circumstances with an objective mind. A creative person often gets three-dimensional answers to his problems.
Possibly. I am creative and think I do ok with my often obtrusive tinnitus. I accept it on some level.
I think its more about mental health in terms of ability to cope.

Lane, I sought Mohamed on the mountain to find wisdom about tinnitus. I have tried to seek consultation with the smartest doctors from Audiologists to brain surgeons to glean more insight.

The brain surgeon said, the critical thinker...guys like him and me, analytical people will struggle the most because of our hard wiring. He said he would too but he doesn't have tinnitus.
He said, you know who does best? The guy that takes life as it comes...the C student who is ok being at the back of the line. Not the type A personality. We like to fix things and are always trying to seek perfection....or find it in the universe.

I think he's right. But if a person struggles with mental health, they are going to struggle with tinnitus just like they struggled with life before tinnitus only tinnitus for some is the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
 
This John Mahan troll should be blocked from this thread. I don't care if he participates in any other threads. Imho. I have him on ignore starting now. Just saying. This is a serious topic and most people are seriously trying to help others here.

I, personally, might think it's hopeless but appreciate if people try.
 
We should meet to make the suicide plan together. It's pathetic but surely we will reach better conclusions together. Personally, I would make sure everyone knew my suicide was because of Tinnitus. Nothing more nothing less.
 
If you have nothing to lose you could try bioenergy/pranotherapy I'm not sure what it's called in your countries. I know more less what some could say now but whatever, I'm not forcing anyone else to go. If you have nothing to lose, try it, it cannot make you feel worse. I'm not saying you will go to a session and hear silence. I'm just saying it can make people feel better and relaxed.
 
@PeteJ It is damn hard to reach out sometimes. You have to balance your words. Give hope but not promise something that likely is not going to happen.

We are a lot of severe cases here that managed to turn this around. I really do not see why you could not be one of us. We have been exactly were you are now. You just have to trust us on this. I am not going to lie. You have 6-18 months of rough road ahead but then you will slowly get adjusted. Day by day. You will probably never have exact the same life back but your life will be good again. A life very much worth fighting for.

What sometimes helped me was just lay down and surrender. I was just saying to myself that i was ready to go. You took my life so why not take the rest of me... I know I hit bottom.

Whatever happens I want you to know that I am not giving up on you. I am here any day, any time unconditionally.

... David
 
I am planning to commit suicide on Saturday. I would do it sooner but I need to ensure my dog is cared for.
Can you try to mask a portion of your tinnitus by using the below
1. https://www.generalfuzz.net/acrn/ - put it on 8000 and raise the volume
2. also put pink noise from YouTube in the background.
They should mask 80% of your tinnitus.

Stay in bed, do nothing, be lazy, and watch TV and play games all day. You have the right not to be productive without feeling any guilt.

This is me too. I also have chronic dizziness over my severe tinnitus. My life is shit, but

You have a few options before you consider suicide.
1. Trobalt: people with severe tinnitus got it reduced to mild with Trobalt though it has severe side effects but what do you have to lose/ I don't know where Trobalt is available, but its still available i think in Mexico. Go try it
2. Lenire: You can be lucky and be one of those who got miraculous results. even small results can get you back satisfied

You need to understand that tinnitus is this illness that if you have it severe, you hate your life and if it's mild, its as if its non-existent.
Believe me you will instantly feel great about life again, if tinnitus calms down. You now think you are very far from happiness because tinnitus is so bad.
You instantly instantly change when tinnitus quietens a bit.

Also, other treatments are on the horizon; Frequency Therapeutics, Regain/Audio, and Michigan Device .

Just wait man and push to survive. Many people here live on "survival mode". It sucks, but once you change your attitude to that "I just want to survive" and not necessarily enjoy life, it will become different and realistic. If you are still thinking that you are not happy and you are missing out on life, you will want to commit suicide. Transfer yourself to Survival mode.
 
We should meet to make the suicide plan together. It's pathetic but surely we will reach better conclusions together. Personally, I would make sure everyone knew my suicide was because of Tinnitus. Nothing more nothing less.
Why aren't you trying Lenire?
 
I am planning to commit suicide on Saturday. I would do it sooner but I need to ensure my dog is cared for.
Dogs are wonderful creatures. Have you seen the statue of Hachiko in Tokyo and read the dog's story?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hachikō

I understand the pain can be overwhelming, I understand you feel your pain exceeds your coping resources, and I understand you are super frustrated with lack of understanding from the medical profession and fellow humans, but just consider the possibility it might not be always like this. Why not give it a little more time or try lenire? You keep rejecting this but there are people with super severe tinnitus who are going on and are even happy at times. billie48, Ed209, brownbear and many others. Perhaps you could get to that state too if you gave it time. If you have to die, waiting a little longer shouldn't make a big difference, and Lenire is worth a shot. Just a thought.
 
Neuromod will probably not offer the treatment to persons who are suicidal. Their trials also didn't include much severe cases. If you want to try Lenire you should not tell them the truth about your mental condition. It will not help you and Neuromod either.

At the Brai3n Clinic in Belgium (Gent) they still propose the combination of Rivotril & Deanxit to achieve a reduction in tinnitus. Did you ever visit them?

They will prescribe you the drugs and if it works, perhaps you can get an recommendation for your GP in your country.

To find out if this drug combination works you need to take it for 10 days (only) to see if it works. If yes, you might be lucky and should continue for 3 months and then slowly decrease again. This is their advice.
 
I am planning to commit suicide on Saturday. I would do it sooner but I need to ensure my dog is cared for.
Pete, death is a permanent solution to what could still be a temporary problem, sure your tinnitus might not disappear but that does not mean it will not reduce in volume or you will not eventually learn coping skills to deal with it... Dig a bit deeper for that fighting spirit, dogs truly are man's best friend, like I said my dog was by my side the whole time when I thought my life was over... I am so glad I kept fighting, Please just consider giving it more time...
 
Like the proverbial broken record, same thing, over and over.
 
I am not ok. I couldn't do it. I wanted to and still do. I thought of two methods. But, it is difficult. I don't want to be crippled or brain dead but still alive.

I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't mean psychiatrists. I just mean people who have tinnitus. I am also being called names and I am insulted.

The people replying here are nice though. The only kind people are here.
 
I am not ok. I couldn't do it. I wanted to and still do. I thought of two methods. But, it is difficult. I don't want to be crippled or brain dead but still alive.

I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't mean psychiatrists. I just mean people who have tinnitus. I am also being called names and I am insulted.

The people replying here are nice though. The only kind people are here.
Glad you checked in PeteJ...

This illness is brutal... stay strong... pick and choose some advice that appealed to you and try. Don't give up... so glad you checked in...
Say what you want, express yourself... no worries.
Don't do anything drastic, as I said before you really need to give it a couple years and then make the decision after trying everything.

Take care... glad you posted... we, I, are here for you... 100 percent.
 
I am not ok. I couldn't do it. I wanted to and still do. I thought of two methods. But, it is difficult. I don't want to be crippled or brain dead but still alive.

I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't mean psychiatrists. I just mean people who have tinnitus. I am also being called names and I am insulted.

The people replying here are nice though. The only kind people are here.

Isn't there anyone from here that lives near you? I'm sure you can find someone to talk to.

No organization like the BTA in the UK or something like that? I don't know in which country or city you are.

Hang in there, please.
 
I'm very happy that you are happy to talk to someone, Petej. I spend a lot of time on this forum, because I read posts from people and I can relate to their experiences. Every day, I take small manageable steps, to become stronger and happier. All of this, really makes a big difference, in a time-frame of weeks or months.

I hope that there are some small comfort zones, that you can stay in, during the course of the day. For example, you can stay inside your house with your dog, and maybe you can pet the dog a little bit. If you stay within your comfort zones, you may start feeling a little better as the days go by.

Maybe, avoid doing the things that you don't like. You don't like washing the dishes? Then don't do it. You don't like going to early to sleep? Then stay awake and do whatever you want, in the middle of the night. No one is going to tell you, that you have to do anything.

No matter how bad or good I feel, I always try to get at least 8 hours of constant sleep. I do that with help of over-the-counter sleep aids. Every morning or mid-day that I wake up, I drink a rather strong coffee with milk, then I also add 250 mg of L-Theanine and I eat something nice like Kinder Chocolate - About 20 minutes after doing this ritual, I feel better than I felt after I woke up
 

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