Suicidal

[PeteJ]

I see that your tinnitus was caused by acoustic trauma. It seems to be only a month or so old, so here are some important facts:

Most tinnitus caused by acoustic trauma fades over time, typically within 6 to 18 months. In many cases, it fades completely. No matter how loud it seems today or how overwhelming the ear pain, fullness, and sensitivity to noise may feel, it will improve over time. Trust me—I've been there. It will get better, and you will regain your life.

This will likely be one of the toughest journeys of your life, but what you're experiencing now will not be the same in 6, 12, or 18 months. Healing is slow, but it will happen. Be patient, give yourself plenty of time, and make ear protection a lifelong priority.

I think this is false information that is spread here, for some reason.

 

[jjflyman]

I think this is false information that is spread here, for some reason.

@PeteJ, what part do you believe to be false?

 

[jim.wilson.169]

I want to repeat my advice to you: stop trying to find a cure, supplement, surgery, pill, or anything else to fix this. Just stop and do nothing for now. Instead, try to grit your teeth and bear it. Your wife and kids need you to be strong.

It will be tough for a while, no doubt, but things might eventually get better. If you give up, you will never know. Fight to stay alive. You are stronger than you think.

My family is my temple, helping me through this. I've had very dark thoughts, but their presence and support give me strength. I know they're always there for me, no matter what.

 

[PeteJ]

@PeteJ, what part do you believe to be false?

1. "Most tinnitus caused by acoustic trauma fades over time, typically within 6 to 18 months. In many cases, it fades completely."
2. "No matter how loud it seems today or how overwhelming the ear pain, fullness, and sensitivity to noise may feel, it will improve over time."

Those statements lack scientific or statistical evidence, and the rest is entirely opinion or subjective (100%).

Even if some people post and claim that "they improved," it remains subjective and often doesn't make sense. If it's acoustic trauma specifically, our ears might "heal" to some extent, but the degree of healing depends on the severity of the internal damage. The "healing" can only go so far.

My statement that tinnitus doesn't "fade" is subjective, sure—but I know a few people in real life who have tinnitus. At least four people have shared their experiences with me, and none of them have told me it "faded" or improved. In fact, two of them said it got worse. One person mentioned it got somewhat worse, while another—a friend—said it got significantly worse. That friend has since told me, "What you said was true." They were initially skeptical, or maybe just reserved, but they eventually acknowledged my perspective. However, I don't say "I told you so," because my intention was only to help.

It just doesn't make sense to me that tinnitus would "fade." Why would it? There's some kind of damage there. The only "positive" aspect for some people is that it fluctuates. Mine fluctuated too, but ultimately, it got worse.

 

[jjflyman]

1. "Most tinnitus caused by acoustic trauma fades over time, typically within 6 to 18 months. In many cases, it fades completely."
2. "No matter how loud it seems today or how overwhelming the ear pain, fullness, and sensitivity to noise may feel, it will improve over time."

Those statements lack scientific or statistical evidence, and the rest is entirely opinion or subjective (100%).

Even if some people post and claim that "they improved," it remains subjective and often doesn't make sense. If it's acoustic trauma specifically, our ears might "heal" to some extent, but the degree of healing depends on the severity of the internal damage. The "healing" can only go so far.

My statement that tinnitus doesn't "fade" is subjective, sure—but I know a few people in real life who have tinnitus. At least four people have shared their experiences with me, and none of them have told me it "faded" or improved. In fact, two of them said it got worse. One person mentioned it got somewhat worse, while another—a friend—said it got significantly worse. That friend has since told me, "What you said was true." They were initially skeptical, or maybe just reserved, but they eventually acknowledged my perspective. However, I don't say "I told you so," because my intention was only to help.

It just doesn't make sense to me that tinnitus would "fade." Why would it? There's some kind of damage there. The only "positive" aspect for some people is that it fluctuates. Mine fluctuated too, but ultimately, it got worse.

I'm sorry your tinnitus has not improved over time.

Tinnitus caused by acoustic trauma often has a good chance of fading with time, which is easily confirmed through a quick search online. Twenty years ago, I experienced severe acoustic trauma for about 45 minutes. My tinnitus was at a 10/10, accompanied by pain, fullness, and sensitivity to sound.

Over two years, my tinnitus gradually faded to nearly zero.

I hope you also see improvement with time. Tinnitus is a very challenging condition to live with, and I wish you relief soon.

 

[From9to<1]

1. "Most tinnitus caused by acoustic trauma fades over time, typically within 6 to 18 months. In many cases, it fades completely."
2. "No matter how loud it seems today or how overwhelming the ear pain, fullness, and sensitivity to noise may feel, it will improve over time."

Those statements lack scientific or statistical evidence, and the rest is entirely opinion or subjective (100%).

Even if some people post and claim that "they improved," it remains subjective and often doesn't make sense. If it's acoustic trauma specifically, our ears might "heal" to some extent, but the degree of healing depends on the severity of the internal damage. The "healing" can only go so far.

My statement that tinnitus doesn't "fade" is subjective, sure—but I know a few people in real life who have tinnitus. At least four people have shared their experiences with me, and none of them have told me it "faded" or improved. In fact, two of them said it got worse. One person mentioned it got somewhat worse, while another—a friend—said it got significantly worse. That friend has since told me, "What you said was true." They were initially skeptical, or maybe just reserved, but they eventually acknowledged my perspective. However, I don't say "I told you so," because my intention was only to help.

It just doesn't make sense to me that tinnitus would "fade." Why would it? There's some kind of damage there. The only "positive" aspect for some people is that it fluctuates. Mine fluctuated too, but ultimately, it got worse.

Mine faded. It's completely gone.

 

[Daniel Lion]

I'm having a hard time concentrating. I'm supposed to describe how my condition affects my daily life, what a typical day is like, and why I can't work. I try to write it down, but when I share it with someone, they tell me it's not good enough or lacks detail. Huh?! What exactly am I supposed to write? I thought I had already done that—haven't my posts here over the years illustrated it enough?

I live in a loud area, and I'm pretty sure that's made things worse. If you remember my initial posts here from years ago, my tinnitus used to fluctuate. Now, it never does—it's constant. Isn't that from further hearing damage, or is this just a typical worsening for some people?

As far as I know, disability in most countries—at least in Western countries—doesn't recognize tinnitus as a disability. I've read discussions and reports suggesting that it might be considered in some cases, like for military veterans. But even then, it seems like tinnitus is accepted as part of broader mental health issues, such as PTSD, rather than being recognized on its own. Veterans seem to get more weight in these cases, but obviously, I'm not one of them.

I currently receive disability for depression and anxiety. I've been focusing on how those conditions, along with my tinnitus and ear pain, affect me. The ear pain is both from loud noises and an unexplained cause—it often accompanies tinnitus spikes. The ringing in my ears has always been loud, but now that it no longer fluctuates, I have no good days. I used to have brief periods of relief when it first started years ago, but those are completely gone.

I've been writing about how I constantly feel suicidal—or have suicidal ideation, as it's called. It's this thought that death would be the only escape from the ringing, the only way to not "hear" it or even be aware of it. Sleep is my only refuge, but I've even had dreams where I'm aware of my tinnitus, and that was so awful I can't bear the thought of experiencing it again.

I wear earplugs constantly, keep the TV on low volume with subtitles, and isolate myself in my apartment. I rarely go out. Even though I want to socialize, I can't. When I do leave the house, I use my car to muffle sounds somewhat. Walking around with traffic and other noises everywhere makes me feel paranoid and scared. If I have to go out for appointments or shopping, it's overwhelming.

Isn't that enough to describe my typical day? My days are boring and dreadful—nothing happens except trying to avoid noise, which is impossible. Why are people saying I'm not describing a typical day?

Anyway, I just wanted to say you've had some good ideas for me before, but I'm struggling to write what I need for my report—my self-report or medical review.

Bro,

Write everything down here and keep it simple.

Wwe have brain damage caused by inner ear damage.

Make a list and review the posts you just made. Talk about your inability to go out, the physical pain from sound, and anything else relevant.

Does your doctor even know what hyperacusis is?

Be honest, but do not hesitate to bend the truth if necessary to get what you deserve.

DL

 

[slc]

Trigger Warning: Benzodiazepines and Mental Health Struggles

I haven't posted in a long time, and unfortunately, I only have the worst news to share. I think I really need some support right now.

Last year, I failed to taper off Clonazepam (0.5 mg). It was a very slow taper, reducing by 5% per month. I managed to get down to 0.3 mg, but that is when everything spiraled out of control. The tinnitus became so unbearable at 0.3 mg that I paused the taper, hoping things would stabilize. But instead, it just kept worsening. I waited it out for two agonizing months, convincing myself it had to get better eventually. When it became clear that it would not, I went to the emergency room and reinstated 0.5 mg of Clonazepam.

Reinstating did not help the way I had hoped. In fact, I ended up much worse off than before I started the taper. That broke me completely—but things got even worse afterward.

I began psychiatric and psychological home treatment, hoping that my worsening tinnitus would slow down or stabilize at some point. It never did. Over the past six months, the longest period of relative stability lasted only two to three weeks. In November last year, it worsened four separate times in one month, for no apparent reason. I cannot make sense of what is happening to me.

My tinnitus is now four years old. I have been on benzodiazepines for two years, and for about a year now, I have been living in hell. I have suffered so much, and I feel I am at my absolute limit. This feels like the end for me.

One of the worst parts of this suffering is that there is hardly anything left to enjoy or distract me. I wake up to the sound of the tinnitus, and the suffering begins immediately, continuing until I go to bed. It completely consumes me. I cannot watch or focus on television. I cannot play games, draw, or engage in sound therapy. I am too stressed to even go for walks in the forest, something I used to love.

I cannot think or talk about anything else anymore. My mind obsesses over all the mistakes I made that led me to this point. I cannot forgive myself for starting Clonazepam daily two years ago. I was always so careful about medications and supplements, researching everything, but that one time I messed up because it helped so much at first. Now I feel like I am losing this fight, and there is nothing left to try. No one seems able to help me. It feels like I am a freak medical case with no answers, no solutions, and no hope. I feel destined to end my life.

I am also living with schizophrenia and take Clozapine. I know how medications can affect the brain, and I wonder if the constant worsening is related to brain plasticity issues, the anticholinergic burden of these meds, or some pre-existing brain damage. Maybe it is the way these medications interact with each other. I do not know, and neither do the doctors from the home treatment team. I even saw a specialist in Berlin, but all she said was that other people take Clonazepam too. She is not a psychiatrist and could not help me with the issue.

When my tinnitus was bad during the first two years, I would cry occasionally but always managed to get back up and keep going. Now, when I cry, it is like someone dying—absolutely hopeless and desperate. I find myself crawling on the floor, begging for mercy for what feels like hours, thinking only of my family and my cruel fate.

Is this it? Is this how it ends?

I cannot provide a full answer, but I was using 1.5 mg of clonazepam once daily at 9 PM before bed. Over time, I tapered down to zero. About two months after tapering to zero, my tinnitus worsened, likely going from moderate to severe, though it is hard to remember exactly. I then went back up to 1 mg, which is what I am taking now.

At this point, my tinnitus ranges from moderate to severe, depending on the day. I think a more significant factor than the clonazepam was being exposed to a very loud alarm about two years ago. That caused a spike that still has not fully resolved.

If possible, I would recommend finding an ENT who is experienced with clonazepam. In my case, I found that a neurologist was much more attentive than my ENT. She would meet with me for up to an hour every six months and was willing to add gabapentin to the clonazepam I was already taking.

I have a few suggestions for coping:

1. The sound of running water as background noise can be very helpful.
   
   
2. If your tinnitus is not too reactive and you can afford it, consider getting hearing aids that play pink noise or have Bluetooth functionality so you can play soothing sounds. Alternatively, there are earbuds that do not completely block the ear, allowing you to play background sounds that might help.
   
   
3. Get a massage if possible. The sensation of being massaged is calming and helps relax tense muscles. You can also massage your own neck and back using a good massage oil. In Ayurveda, Vata oil is used as it contains herbs specifically meant to calm the nervous system.
   
   
4. After a massage, take a warm shower. If your ears are reactive to the sound of the shower, consider using silicone swimmer's earplugs.
   
   
5. Eat warm, soothing foods, especially if you live in a cold area. Soups or hot milk with turmeric can be comforting. Avoid dry and crunchy foods.
   
   
6. Acupuncture may help. Out of the seven acupuncturists I tried, one was able to reduce my symptoms. While not every acupuncturist will be effective, it may be worth trying.
   
   
7. Consider a craniosacral therapist, but they need to be highly trained. You can search the Upledger Institute website to find someone with extensive experience.

Good luck,
Stephan

 

[streifzug]

I cannot provide a full answer, but I was using 1.5 mg of clonazepam once daily at 9 PM before bed. Over time, I tapered down to zero. About two months after tapering to zero, my tinnitus worsened, likely going from moderate to severe, though it is hard to remember exactly. I then went back up to 1 mg, which is what I am taking now.

At this point, my tinnitus ranges from moderate to severe, depending on the day. I think a more significant factor than the clonazepam was being exposed to a very loud alarm about two years ago. That caused a spike that still has not fully resolved.

If possible, I would recommend finding an ENT who is experienced with clonazepam. In my case, I found that a neurologist was much more attentive than my ENT. She would meet with me for up to an hour every six months and was willing to add gabapentin to the clonazepam I was already taking.

I have a few suggestions for coping:

1. The sound of running water as background noise can be very helpful.
   
   
2. If your tinnitus is not too reactive and you can afford it, consider getting hearing aids that play pink noise or have Bluetooth functionality so you can play soothing sounds. Alternatively, there are earbuds that do not completely block the ear, allowing you to play background sounds that might help.
   
   
3. Get a massage if possible. The sensation of being massaged is calming and helps relax tense muscles. You can also massage your own neck and back using a good massage oil. In Ayurveda, Vata oil is used as it contains herbs specifically meant to calm the nervous system.
   
   
4. After a massage, take a warm shower. If your ears are reactive to the sound of the shower, consider using silicone swimmer's earplugs.
   
   
5. Eat warm, soothing foods, especially if you live in a cold area. Soups or hot milk with turmeric can be comforting. Avoid dry and crunchy foods.
   
   
6. Acupuncture may help. Out of the seven acupuncturists I tried, one was able to reduce my symptoms. While not every acupuncturist will be effective, it may be worth trying.
   
   
7. Consider a craniosacral therapist, but they need to be highly trained. You can search the Upledger Institute website to find someone with extensive experience.

Good luck,
Stephan

Thank you for your reply, Stephan. It means so much to me! I will try using hearing aids and massage, and I'll ask about Gabapentin.

 

[slc]

Thank you for your reply, Stephan. It means so much to me! I will try using hearing aids and massage, and I'll ask about Gabapentin.

You are very welcome! I hope you find some relief. I forgot to mention that if you massage your back and neck, be sure to pay extra attention to your scalp. The scalp has many nerve endings, and Vata oil can be particularly beneficial when used with a good scalp massage.

I've read at least one study suggesting a synergistic effect between Clonazepam and Gabapentin that may help with tinnitus. I believe there's already a discussion thread on this site about the combination of Clonazepam and Gabapentin.

 

[gracepixie]

Unfortunately, when I took a combination of NAC, Taurine, and Advil last week, something changed in my head. It triggered somatic and reactive tinnitus. Sounds that used to comfort me now spike my tinnitus, making life feel like a new kind of hell—one that I'm learning can actually get worse. While I'm not feeling suicidal, I just don't have any hope for tomorrow.

The tone in my right ear changed after the recent NAC and noise exposure. It's now a little less high-pitched, but the bigger challenge is that I can't seem to mask it properly anymore.

When my tinnitus spikes, it feels like central tinnitus with a rattling sensation. Additionally, my left ear has been noticeably different since my last dose of NAC.

I'm praying this passes because it's severely degrading my quality of life. I would gladly return to the tinnitus I had 1.5 weeks ago over this new evolution.

Have you considered Paxil? It's an antidepressant that leans more toward anti-anxiety effects than stimulating effects, making it more calming overall. It's an SSRI with an anticholinergic component, which can help reduce essential tremor and may also calm tinnitus. I've been gradually increasing my dose and just started 10 mg yesterday. So far, my body seems to like this medication.

I tried Effexor first, but it was way too activating for me—I experienced panic attacks and constant shaking. Paxil, on the other hand, has had a very calming effect so far.

I agree that it makes sense to stop searching for an immediate fix for your tinnitus and instead focus on calming your brain and finding peace with it. Once you're in a better place mentally, you can begin exploring ways to reduce it further.

Here's a paper by Dr. Djalilian from UCI discussing the use of Paxil in tinnitus treatment. He combines it with Verapamil, though I'm only using Paxil for now since I prefer to stick with as few medications as possible. (Let me know if the article is paywalled—I can send you screen grabs.)

Also, keep in mind that most treatments for anxiety and depression take at least two months to fully take effect, so it might be a while before you find relief. Gather your strength for your family and keep pushing forward. You've got this.

Efficacy of Nortriptyline-Topiramate and Verapamil-Paroxetine in Tinnitus Management: A Randomized Placebo-Controlled Trial

 

[PDodge]

I just want to share my experience for anyone who is suffering.

I am only here because my tinnitus spiked for the first time since 2022. I had severe tinnitus from 2017 until around 2019, though I cannot remember exactly when it improved.

At its worst, it was a multi-tonal, ultra-high-frequency (15 kHz) buzzing and oscillating, scratching noise. Over time, it faded into a hiss that I could only hear in the quietest places.

It took time and struggle, but it can get better.

 

[Queenie12]

I just want to share my experience for anyone who is suffering.

I am only here because my tinnitus spiked for the first time since 2022. I had severe tinnitus from 2017 until around 2019, though I cannot remember exactly when it improved.

At its worst, it was a multi-tonal, ultra-high-frequency (15 kHz) buzzing and oscillating, scratching noise. Over time, it faded into a hiss that I could only hear in the quietest places.

It took time and struggle, but it can get better.

Did your spike go away? I hope it did.

When it was at its worst, did you do anything specific to help improve it? For example, did you follow a restrictive diet or avoid caffeine and alcohol?

 

[PDodge]

Did your spike go away? I hope it did.

When it was at its worst, did you do anything specific to help improve it? For example, did you follow a restrictive diet or avoid caffeine and alcohol?

Thanks! The spike is still here. It's been about seven weeks now, but in the last two weeks, I've had five or six baseline days and even one day where I could barely hear it over my girlfriend's breathing while she was sleeping!

After the onset, I stopped drinking alcohol for almost a year, but I didn't change my diet or anything. However, I did avoid loud events for a long time.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'm sure I'll be around.

 

[Fazdoll]

@PeteJ, what part do you believe to be false?

The false part is when you say things like, "often has a good chance of fading with time." What kind of overall statistic is that? 20%? Those are terrible odds.

I'm right at the six-month mark. I think I'm past the panic stage, and the aural fullness has settled to a baseline. But in terms of tone, I haven't seen or heard anything to indicate any improvement—not in volume, and not in habituation. In fact, two new tones appeared at the three-month mark, one of which spiked when I woke up from a nap.

I have no way of knowing whether I'll be one of the lucky ones or if this is just going to get worse for the next 30+ years.

 

[Nick47]

though I'm only using Paxil for now since I prefer to stick with as few medications as possible. (Let me know if the article is paywalled—I can send you screen grabs.)

The current rationale is that using multiple medications at low doses is better than relying on a single high-dose medication, at least for tinnitus. The brain has a complex network of neurotransmitters, which is why multimodal treatment studies are becoming more common.

 

[PeteJ]

Bro,

Write everything down here and keep it simple.

We have brain damage caused by inner ear damage.

Make a list and review the posts you just made. Talk about your inability to go out, the physical pain from sound, and anything else relevant.

Does your doctor even know what hyperacusis is?

Be honest, but do not hesitate to bend the truth if necessary to get what you deserve.

DL

Sorry, I did not realize you had replied. Honestly, I did not expect any more responses.

I was really stressed out, but I managed to get an extension. I am trying to finish my portion this week, though I am not sure if I will manage, but I do not want to delay it much longer. I still have six months.

I doubt my doctor even knows what hyperacusis is. I will ask him on Thursday when I have my appointment.

The false part is when you say things like, "often has a good chance of fading with time." What kind of overall statistic is that? 20%? Those are terrible odds.

I'm right at the six-month mark. I think I'm past the panic stage, and the aural fullness has settled to a baseline. But in terms of tone, I haven't seen or heard anything to indicate any improvement—not in volume, and not in habituation. In fact, two new tones appeared at the three-month mark, one of which spiked when I woke up from a nap.

I have no way of knowing whether I'll be one of the lucky ones or if this is just going to get worse for the next 30+ years.

Oh, okay, I see. I share your sentiments. I have not experienced any improvements or any of this "fading over time" that some people here claim.

Does my ear pain subside after a loud noise triggers hyperacusis or noxacusis? Usually, yes. But for all I know, after a really bad spell or severe pain following noise exposure, my ears might be becoming more fragile or sensitive. That definitely seems to be the pattern.

The tinnitus spikes keep happening, and the gap between the spikes and my baseline is shrinking. It feels like each spike just becomes the new baseline, and that baseline keeps getting worse. At the very least, the intensity and unpredictability of the ringing are unbearable. I never get a moment's peace. It is incredibly difficult to rest, sleep, or relax because my brain and ears are constantly ringing at a loud volume.

It is hard to describe, but I would call it a steady worsening. If you plotted it on a graph, it would be an increasing arc—no dips, nothing to suggest fading. I have no idea what those people are talking about.

I'm sorry your tinnitus has not improved over time.

Tinnitus caused by acoustic trauma often has a good chance of fading with time, which is easily confirmed through a quick search online. Twenty years ago, I experienced severe acoustic trauma for about 45 minutes. My tinnitus was at a 10/10, accompanied by pain, fullness, and sensitivity to sound.

Over two years, my tinnitus gradually faded to nearly zero.

I hope you also see improvement with time. Tinnitus is a very challenging condition to live with, and I wish you relief soon.

Nah, it doesn't happen.