Every SBUTT is a literal traumatic experience. I start to shake and my adrenaline shoots up. I panic. Two or three a day is actual torture.
Profile posts Latest activity Postings About
-
One of the most unbearable parts of being disabled is the unfathomable weight of no longer being able to create. It's just pure hell.
I've noticed that things like brakes squealing are much more abrasive to me now. I must be getting hyperacusis, or I'm just more sensitive.
Took a 5 day vacation to NYC/Philly. Every day was just too much. It's all just too much.
I slept in silence last night but woke up with hissing, highly reactive ears. Why?
A strong feeling to no longer engage with the world. A resignation.
Self-help or motivational content no longer applies to you once you're disabled like this. Those things lose their importance. Just survive.
SBUTTs are like my brain reminding me: "This is my life. Not yours. Don't forget that. I can make this worse for you."
No break. I still have to work. I experience SBUTTs at least twice a day. My family and friends expect me to act normal. I am in hell.
We hope the Shore device will help us... what's on
what do you say?
What should I do in remembrance of myself on the three-year anniversary of my death? It's coming soon.
I miss being active so, so much. I just want to be back in the gym. I want to be outside.
Bought my first bottle of bourbon whiskey today...at age 33. I turn 34 next week. I've never been one to drink.
None of my many emotional traumas prepared me for the physical trauma of this hell. There will be no recovery.
I wish I could at least read a book or enjoy a walk.
Having a master's in philosophy may seem pointless to some, but there are moments now where what I've learned is all that gets me through.
If someone asked you is tinnitus just a sound in the brain or is tinnitus the burning sensation and sound in the inner ear probably caused by inflammated auditory nerves. What would you choose?
"Sometimes, carrying on, just carrying on, is the superhuman achievement." - Albert Camus
Most of these treatments that seem to offer a 7-10 point THI improvement would be meaningless for me, stuck at a 95+ THI. I feel no hope.
Tried to go with my girlfriend for coffee. What a joke. I sat across from her and couldn't hear her over the horror of noise in my brain.
I was always a reader. I sat in silence and read. Walls of books in my bedroom. Every genre, but mostly literature and philosophy or sci-fi.
My birthday is this month, and my girlfriend bought me a PS5. I love her. The thing is, I'm not a huge gamer. I only use it as a distraction
It seems now that the world is too much. I am no longer introspective. My other senses seem muted. I feel less inclined to speak.
I don't even feel compelled to eat anymore. If someone didn't remind me to eat, I'd probably just waste away. I've lost 20 lbs. already.
Going to see Dune tomorrow, but my friend didn't tell me the theater was IMAX. Now I'm not sure what to do.
The restaurant wasn't even that loud. This is just unbearable torture. I'll never live the life I want.
Tried to act normal today. Went to a restaurant with some friends. Could barely hear them speak over my ringing when we left. This is hell.
I had one take place as I was standing in my boss's office today during a big meeting. I had to excuse myself before I had a panic attack.
I average two temporary tapering tinnitus episodes a day. So that means twice a day I'm gripped in anxiety wondering if a new tone will stay
I look back at my life and at the lives of others, and can't help but notice how powerful tinnitus' ability to trivialize other problems is. -
Loading…
-
Loading…
-
Loading…