Pinhead

Pinhead

Member From USA
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  • Pinhead
    When you are catastrophically disabled, there is no time for self-improvement or enjoyment. There is only survival.
    Pinhead
    I seem to have more SBUTTs when I eat better, take vitamins, and exercise. What the hell!?!?
    View previous comments…
    Pinhead
    Yes.
    Thizzle
    I had a crazy one the other night in my left ear and had a sensation go to my right ear, my left ear sounded like it went deaf for a couple seconds , definitely hope it never happens again
    Bob3382
    Thankfully, I have only had this a couple of times, and exercise lessens my T.
    Pinhead
    Two temporary tinnitus episodes in two hours. Help!! I don't want it to become permanent! No more tones!
    Cata
    Hi, I'm taking the liberty of writing to you here. I saw one of your posts where you said you had no trouble sleeping. Do you have loud tinnitus with horrible tones? How does your brain manage to ignore this and get a good night's sleep???
    Pinhead
    It is honestly a total mystery. It's almost like I 'black out'. I don't usually remember coming close to sleep.

    I think my brain is just happy to finally turn off. I usually have water noises playing and a very loud air conditioner as well, but neither of those cover the noise in my skull.
    Pinhead
    A friend came to visit today and his laugh peaked at over 100 decibels multiple times. I'm fucked. I'll have hyperacusis by tomorrow.
    Pinhead
    It makes me viscerally angry every time he laughs. It's so loud that my other friends cover their ears.
    It's obnoxious, and deep down I envy his ability to enjoy life. I can no longer feel anything close to that.
    Pinhead
    I honestly feel like I am in a permanent state of psychosis. I can't tell which sounds are real anymore.
    J
    I relate. It's blaring, constant and intrusive. Used to think it was music i missed the most. Now it's silence I miss.
    duck0
    Me too. My dysacusis got really really bad lately, I often cannot differentiate between my tinnitus and distorted external sounds
    Pinhead
    I'm blown away by how my brain can push most noise to the background, seemingly in FAVOR of concentrating on my tinnitus instead. What? Why?
    kingsfan
    I have never been able to push any noise or distraction to the background. This is the crux of the issue with my T.
    Pinhead
    I miss books. I miss reading and being able to talk about what I've read. God, this is so isolating.
    View previous comments…
    Pinhead
    I mean, for most of my life, I sat in quiet and read. Years of philosophical research to work towards my PhD. So many worlds I made in my mind through fantasy and sci-fi literature, and I can't imagine a single image now. It's an empty space between my two ears.
    BrOKeN_1
    I feel very much the same way a good deal of the time if not most. The focus toward the the ringing and obsessive monitoring of this condition seems to paralysis free thought. Weirdly enough I think I do it to myself though. Because even while I find it difficult to concentrate. I can ironically sit here and read threads from tinnitus talk all day.
    Ngo13
    I found the only way I was able to read for awhile was in a hot Epsom salt bath with my violet noise mix playing. Sometimes a candle. Now I still read in the bath best but I'm able to do it in quiet. I read mostly fantasy, so it's my escapism and it's one of the only times I don't "hear" my T.
    Pinhead
    Beyond tired of the "You'll get through this" attitude of people around me. It's been three years-YOU get over it.
    View previous comments…
    Pinhead
    At this point, it's like asking me to get over the fact that I have legs and stop walking everywhere. It's absurd and pretty annoying.
    BrOKeN_1
    I feel ya. Sorry you don't have more sympathetic people around.
    4Grace
    So sorry. So true. 3 years. I can't believe it's been around 15 months for me. Can't wait at 18 months I should be fully habituated. :)
    Pinhead
    The fluctuating squeal in my right ear is really the worst thing. It's just unbearable. I can totally ignore the pure tones.
    Pinhead
    I just found out that a coworker has a friend who is housebound with tinnitus. It became progressively worse.
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    @gameover one guy told me. How loud is going to get. It's not going to make my head explode. He says after 3 years he just lives. Eats and endures the major spikes. They say that it's insuring the spikes that leads to habitation.
    4Grace
    @gameover I find it hard to accept that my friends are that much different when I know that they are .. they are not impacted by food or clenching or touching the side of your head. I feel like I'm wrong but I at the same time that I need to learn to eat and go out and let it do what it is going to do…
    4Grace
    @gameover / I just don't have a life that will make me think or live different. This is a problem for me. I cut everything out of my life. I cannot reinvent my life. This is FN crazy. The stupidity that got me here drives me insane. Sorry for all the typos and grammar errors. I waiting to see an ENT. Another waist of time!!
    Pinhead
    It's such a terrible thing. It's like waking up to find yourself weak and naked again about to be enveloped in a cocoon of cold steel nails.
    Pinhead
    Woke up today to find my sleeping sounds had turned off overnight. I listened as, slowly, my mind was invaded by hissing and screeching.
    BlueMoon86
    I know this feeling well. One day in December I woke up and it was so quiet I thought it had gone. I had to listen for several minutes to find it. Those days are well and truly gone, it's 10/10 24/7 now.
    Pinhead
    Three years ago today, my life shifted catastrophically. Nothing will ever be the same.
    4Grace
    This is so true. I feel like an Alien on this planet. I was so happy. I try so hard not to give a shit about this noise. It consumes me beyond words. It's just to loud and worsens. I have not been able to enjoy anything. The last few days 24/7 stress. Trying so hard.
    Pinhead
    I get fleeting moments where I remember how deeply happy I felt before tinnitus. They vanish just as quickly, replaced by noise.
    Pinhead
    Get up and prepare for another day in hell without a single moment of happiness or relief. I am in hell.
    Pinhead
    I'm really struggling today. I can't keep myself focused. I feel like leaving work and never coming back. My brain won't shut up.
    4Grace
    I was a manger for 23 years. Had to step away. Try all you. Can not to leave work. Besides the money work is a good and needed distraction. Not to say I did not feel like you do everyday when I was working.
    Pinhead
    The auditory nerve is capable of feeling pain. I may not have hyperacusis but, instead, nerve damage. That can be treated.
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    How do you treat that nerve damage. I think I have nerve damage too due to high bilirubin in blood. Gilbert Syndrome.
    Pinhead
    This is just my conclusion after reading some things. I don't have pain specifically in response to sound.
    cjbhab
    @Pinhead i think i have nerve pain / damage too but im not sure what to do about it. i thought tinnitus was just supposed to be a sound. id be managing better if it was but some days the pain and pressure is insane.
    Pinhead
    Looking for a single sign of improvement. I've tried to be so positive, but it never pans out. It's just pure, uncut, false hope.
    4Grace
    I hate to agree with you here. I had have tried everything too. Volume and reactivity is everything. I want so bad not to give a shit!!
    Juliane
    That is why it is the worst kind of gaslighting when "tinnitus therapists" tell us that our mindset and mood define our T volume. Utter BS. It has nothing to do with it. If your T fades, and I sure hope it will, it can do so while you are thinking happy thoughts or wishing you had never been born. T is indifferent to our feelings, as are facts.
    Pinhead
    Absolutely terrible today. Both ears ache and my right is blaring. Wondering if it's infected. It's unbearable.
    Pinhead
    Next Sunday is my three-year tinnitus anniversary. I plan on getting completely wasted. Things will worsen on MY terms, goddammit!
    SamRosemary
    My 2 year is May 1st.
    Jammer
    Sounds like a good time; I wish I could join you.
    eldudebro
    May 14th is my two year worsening anniversary. Well done on reaching three.
    Pinhead
    My friend decided to go for a walk with me. I think he quickly realized that it wouldn't be relaxing, more like A to B as fast as possible.
    Pinhead
    I recall how hopeful I was maybe a year after this started. It's only worsened and hope for improvement is gone.
    Pinhead
    The reactivity is the worst part. Not being able to withstand traveling in cars, trains, and buses has left me totally stranded. Not living.
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