Juliane
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Sep 15, 2024 at 10:51 AM
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Juliane

Member, Female

If I have said in the past that I'd rather have cancer than tinnitus, I did not mean that. Tinnitus is horrible but I do not want cancer Sep 14, 2024 at 11:45 PM

Juliane was last seen:
Sep 15, 2024 at 10:51 AM
    1. Juliane
      Juliane
      I have always been an anxious person, but T sends me into fullblown paranoia. It's the loss of coping strategies
      1. BrOKeN_1, ECP and PennyCat like this.
      2. BrOKeN_1
        BrOKeN_1
        I also have generalized anxiety as well. I get it. Finally accepting t as an annoyance not a threat is what gradually stopped the fight or flight symptoms. I've been on the endurance wagon since.
        Aug 25, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
      3. SarahMLFlemmer
        SarahMLFlemmer
        I know. ❤️ Hang in there!
        Aug 25, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
    2. Juliane
      Juliane
      One day my log will have something to say about all this.
      1. ECP and SarahMLFlemmer like this.
      2. ECP
        ECP
        I like your reference to The Log Lady from "Twin Peaks." : ) Also, I've been to Snoqualmie, Washington, where they filmed the show, and I can vouch for how quiet and peaceful it is.
        Aug 23, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
      3. Juliane
        Juliane
        @ECP Sounds amazing. Would love to go there myself :-)
        Aug 24, 2023
        ECP likes this.
    3. Juliane
      Juliane
      I want to live in the woods with owls as my closest neighbors and the wind rustling in the trees being the loudest sound around.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Juliane
        Juliane
        @ECP OMG I absolutely LOVE this! So cute. And right about the wind, not that relaxing at all :-) Thanks for sharing
        Aug 24, 2023
        ECP likes this.
      3. brixenbrixen
        brixenbrixen
        I think I will do it next year - keep you updated !
        Aug 29, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
      4. Juliane
        Juliane
        @brixenbrixen Please do keep me updated! Sounds very interesting :-)
        Aug 29, 2023
        brixenbrixen likes this.
    4. Juliane
      Juliane
      Was considering trying milk thistle to detox, then found TT post saying it made T worse. Thank God for this life saver community!
      1. aab, SarahMLFlemmer and Ryan Scott like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. 4Grace
        4Grace
        @Juliane Thank you once again for your kind words. How are you doing day to day? Were you able to continue at the new job? Sleep? It sounds like you were able to secure a new job while suffering from T. That’s something you should be proud of.. not easy. So much kindness in your posts. I regret that I think I became a little sour :) If you can believe it, I once was the opposite.lol- We will get back one day.
        Aug 25, 2023
      4. Juliane
        Juliane
        @4Grace Thank you too for your kindness! I have had two nights of decent sleep which felt like a miracle. But last night was horrible again. Yesterday was a stressful day so might be a connection there. I am just so tired of how life has become. As for my new job I am trying to hang on but must admit that it's very challenging
        Aug 25, 2023
        4Grace likes this.
      5. Juliane
        Juliane
        So much kindness in your posts too! Hope you find relief now and then? Was so happy to read that you are sleeping again
        Aug 25, 2023
        4Grace likes this.
    5. Juliane
      Juliane
      If I were a business, I'd be out of business by now.
      1. kingsfan, Ryan Scott and 4Grace like this.
    6. Juliane
      Juliane
      God please help me sleep. I am putting my faith in you.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. 4Grace
        4Grace
        @Juliane I am not sure why I have never seen your question. Sorry! Yes. I took that for 4 days. It did not help with me with sleep and it really aggregated my tinnitus. I think I am a unique case. I tried 3 sleep meds and nothing worked. I had insomnia for 5 months. The only thing that worked for me was Mirtazapine. It’s used off label for sleep.
        Aug 23, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
      3. 4Grace
        4Grace
        @Juliane - I believe it is the most prescribed AD for patients with Tinnitus. As you may already know most meds are not good for tinnitus. I spoke with the president of Tinnitus Canada and a doctor from the leading organization for tinnitus in the US a few months ago. Organization in Canada is fairly inactive.
        Aug 23, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
      4. 4Grace
        4Grace
        The organization in Canada advised me to take Mirt. 2 doctors also prescribed me the same. If nothing else works and you are stuck between a rock and a hard place I think this med is your best bet. As always ask your doctor. The lower the dose the better for sleep. I took it for 6 weeks. This included me getting on it and tapering off slowly.
        Aug 23, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
    7. Juliane
      Juliane
      I should have told them I loved them every day instead of being proud. I have always been alone. I am doomed. Help me please, I am breaking
      1. Ngo13 and 4alien2 like this.
      2. 4Grace
        4Grace
        You are not alone. Stay strong. I should follow my own advice. Therefore I know it’s not easy. I am praying for you now. I wish I could do more for the people on here. We are here for you.
        Aug 21, 2023
      3. Ngo13
        Ngo13
        We are here for you!
        Aug 21, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
    8. Juliane
      Juliane
      I love my family so much. I am so so sad. I have wasted my life being proud and ignorant of what matters. Forgive me. Please
    9. Juliane
      Juliane
      You are all in my prayers and thoughts. Wish we will all be healed! God please help us heal. Please forgive our sins. We are human
      1. SarahMLFlemmer
        Aug 21, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
    10. Juliane
      Juliane
      I am so so sorry for everything I've done wrong in this life. I could have done better. I know I am a bad person. I am so sorry
      1. 4alien2 likes this.
      2. 4Grace
        4Grace
        You do not sound like a bad person at all. I feel the exact same way. At one time it consumed me. Every sin no matter how small came back to haunt me big time. All of them. Even the ones from many years ago. I am talking mostly about when I was not kind to people. Even though I thought of myself as a good person.
        Aug 21, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
      3. AnthonyMcDonald
        AnthonyMcDonald
        If it makes you feel any better, there's no plan, everything that happens to people is random, it doesn't matter if they are good or bad.
        Aug 21, 2023
        tpj and Juliane like this.
      4. Juliane
        Juliane
        Aug 21, 2023
    11. Juliane
      Juliane
      I know I have done bad things in my life. I have hurt people who loved me. I have been unkind, had unkind thoughts. Am I being punished?
      1. 4Grace likes this.
    12. Juliane
      Juliane
      I need to quit working or call in sick long term can't believe any of this
    13. Juliane
      Juliane
      Mad loud tinnitus. Back in hell
      1. tpj and 4Grace like this.
    14. Juliane
      Juliane
      My tinnitus has only increased after starting my new job. I am thinking of quitting. Could it be stress driving it?
      1. View previous comments...
      2. 4Grace
        4Grace
        Stress is not good for T but so are many other things . I am not sure of your financial situation or if it’s loud where you work. What I can say for sure is that work is a great distraction. I stay home now and going a little stir crazy. If you can keep the job I would stay busy. It will help with the stress better then staying at home,
        Aug 21, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
      3. Juliane
        Juliane
        Thanks both. Working from home and I do feel the distraction is nice but why then is the T getting worse?
        Aug 21, 2023
      4. 4Grace
        4Grace
        @Juliane I know. It seems no matter what I do mine gets worse. This is the hardest part. I think stable tinnitus can be a little easier. I hope things improve for you.
        Aug 23, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
    15. Juliane
      Juliane
      If my T ever decreases and becomes stable, I'll never complain about anything again!!
      1. 4Grace
        4Grace
        I say this all the time
        Aug 21, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
    16. Juliane
      Juliane
      If not for Tinnitus Talk I would have been so depressed. I still am, but TT makes me feel less alone. SO glad I found all of you!!
      1. Mo8409
        Mo8409
        ❤️❤️
        Aug 20, 2023
        jimvee and Juliane like this.
      2. 4Grace
        4Grace
        I feel the same way. My family says why are you on that forum all the time. I tell them they are the only people that understand me… and they are all so kind!
        Aug 21, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
    17. Juliane
      Juliane
      Because of T, I have no defense against old trauma left. Sorrow and pain overwhelm me at the moment. Anyone else feel this way?
      1. gameover and Ryan Scott like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Juliane
        Juliane
        So sorry to hear that @Christiaan. Good that it got better! How is your T today?
        Aug 20, 2023
        Christiaan likes this.
      4. Christiaan
        Christiaan
        Thank you, Juliane. It's way better now. Around a 3-4 atm. Still longing for silence though:)
        Aug 20, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
      5. Juliane
        Juliane
        @Christiaan That is wonderful! Although I understand silence is the ultimate dream. Mine too!
        Aug 20, 2023
    18. Juliane
      Juliane
      4/4 highest peak. I want to make heroes of those who honor their limitations. Be a new, quieter kind of hero. Leyla Ailyn.
      1. tpj and DeanD like this.
    19. Juliane
      Juliane
      3/4 speed. I want to make heroes of those who slow down and sit with the ache in their hearts. A task many find harder than summiting the
      1. tpj likes this.
    20. Juliane
      Juliane
      2/4 your body said "enough". How bold, how rebellious - you, out there - honoring your own natural rhythm, going against the culture's
      1. tpj likes this.
    21. Juliane
      Juliane
      1/4 How brave you are for slowing down. For not finishing that to-do list. How courageous you are for not crossing that finish line because
      1. tpj likes this.
    22. Juliane
      Juliane
      When I was young I had a feeling nothing really bad could ever happen to me. Perhaps a belief in God? Now I feel cursed by dark forces.
      1. gameover and SilverFox like this.
    23. SilverFox
      SilverFox
      Have you managed to get any sleep?
      1. tpj and Juliane like this.
      2. Juliane
        Juliane
        @SilverFox I managed to get some hours of coherent sleep this night, which is all I am hoping for. Thanks for asking.

        Have you been able to sleep some? I think we are in the same boat as we both prefer staying away from sleeping medication. If it continues to be bad, I might have to take a pill but as you I really prefer not to. But sleep deprivation makes T so much worse.
        Aug 20, 2023
        tpj and SilverFox like this.
      3. SilverFox
        SilverFox
        @Juliane Thank you. I slept for about two hours. Previously it was somewhat better on most nights, but this week my T changed somehow and is even more bothersome.
        Aug 20, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
      4. Juliane
        Juliane
        @SilverFox So sorry! I think I got 2 hours max this night as well. Still working today but feel I am about to go mad.
        Aug 21, 2023
    24. Juliane
      Juliane
      The silence, ignorance and lack of understanding from my so called closest is fueling my suicidal ideation.
      1. SarahMLFlemmer
        Aug 20, 2023
    25. Juliane
      Juliane
      HELP!!!!!
      1. 4Grace
        4Grace
        @Juliane my God we are all in the same place. I hear your cry for help. All I can say is you ARE NOT alone. You are such a kind person. I am sending a virtual hug.
        Aug 19, 2023
      2. 4Grace
        4Grace
        One day at a time. One breath at a time. One step at a time.
        Aug 19, 2023
      3. Juliane
        Juliane
        @4Grace Thank you so much. You are too kind.
        Aug 20, 2023
        4Grace likes this.
    26. Juliane
      Juliane
      This is no way to live. I wanted to try and get through without sleeping pills, but not sleeping is making me severely suicidal
      1. tpj likes this.
      2. MadeleineHope
        MadeleineHope
        What natural supplements have you tried so far? Maybe I can suggest something
        Aug 19, 2023
        tpj likes this.
      3. Juliane
        Juliane
        Thank you, you are so kind. Magnesium and chamomile only
        Aug 19, 2023
    27. Juliane
      Juliane
      Another horrible sleepless night. How did it become so bad? So so terrified.
      1. 4Grace and SilverFox like this.
    28. Juliane
      Juliane
      Scared I messed up my GABA regulation by zopiclone use in spring and drinks during summer... All is lost
      1. 4Grace and RunningMan like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @Juliane Have you taken any of your zoplicone (is that the right med?)? If it helps your tinnitus, it might be good for you to take a little break and decompress.
        Aug 19, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
      4. RunningMan
        RunningMan
        @Juliane I have not noticed any effect on my T based on zolpidem, CBD, THC, or anything I've consumed ( haven't had alcohol). It just seems to have its own variable cycle for sounds, although exercise ramps it up for a while.
        Aug 19, 2023
        Juliane likes this.
      5. Juliane
        Juliane
        @kingsfan Actually no. I am trying to power through without meds as I am scared of messing up my GABA further. Which means I'm not sleeping..
        Aug 19, 2023
        gameover likes this.
    29. Juliane
      Juliane
      2/2 Could my recent alcohol induced spike therefore be compared to a "benzo withdrawal" spike?
    30. Juliane
      Juliane
      1/2 I'm reading on Benzo Buddies that zopiclone works in a similar manner to benzos and, incidentally, alcohol does as well.
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  • About

    Gender:
    Female
    Birthday:
    February 28
    Tinnitus Since:
    2003
    Cause of Tinnitus:
    Noise /acoustic trauma
    Tinnitus and hearing loss. New damage made my "old" T so much worse. Life is forever changed. I am still struggling with the trauma of it all. I have become indifferent to so many things. And for that I feel guilty. I don't see a possible happy future anymore. I am sorry.