SarahMLFlemmer

SarahMLFlemmer

Member 37 From Central California
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  • SarahMLFlemmer
    Suffering.
    View previous comments…
    SarahMLFlemmer
    @4Grace somewhat comforting to know I'm not alone, I guess. So sorry @4Grace, so so sorry.
    4Grace
    @SarahMLFlemmer - no I'm the one that's sorry. Hard to find the words. I'm sorry for not being more of a positive source. Deep deep down I always have a little hope in me. Honest. No matter how dark it gets. If I have that in me…. You're going to be okay one day. You will.
    L along the way
    Sorryy.. same here... frgn t in the evening and morning.. 3 things... I do.. healthy lifestyle (incl. finding more purpose, structure, inspiration, and trying to find relaxation etc).. enjoying distractions (gaming for me).. and having faith that time is a healer.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    My birthday is tomorrow, not really up to celebrating.
    Forever hopeful
    Hey there. Mine was a week and a half ago. Friends took me to a super loud restaurant. I had what I thought was ample ear protection. My custom earplugs w/25 dB filters. Apparently not enough for 3 1/2 hour meal. Been in a spike since. Tinnitus reactive now So my sound therapy no longer works. I should've put my solid inserts into my earplugs Try to have a good birthday. I know it's tough.
    cyberspace
    SharonBell
    Well if you have to put things in your ears I'm probably screwed. If anything is stopping my ears up it makes the buzzing worse.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Noise makes my T worse too, but I'm up for giving it a try.
    SharonBell
    The audiologist from Treble Health said, I might have some hyperacusis because I was telling her about our sink, my husband talking and the self checkout at grocery store, riding in my car and just a bunch of different sounds that really hurt my ears, noise has been bothering me for a while now.
    SharonBell
    4GRace have you ever looked up Treble Health? They help people with Tinnitus and hypercausis. You should look them up. They have lots of videos too.
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    @SarahMLFlemmer - lol - me too. Early on I did call them but they cannot take clients from Canada. For me personally I believe that going to doctors to search for a cure is no longer productive. I already checked everything. I should do an MRI but figure what's the point. My T is so integrated with all the nerves in my head plus from noise trauma. I am only hopeful by some miracle it gets better. Eating healthy.
    SharonBell
    Sarah you talking about Ben .
    SarahMLFlemmer
    @SharonBell Yeah, Ben Thompson. IDK why. It's just *my opinion.*
    SharonBell
    4Grace I think I have some hyperacusis also. A lot of noises bother me.I think about mine all the time also and the future, not wanting to go anywhere because my anxiety is so bad all the time. How long have you had it? I don't do annything either. I havnt worked in months. It hard for me just to take my daughter to school and pick her up. This noise in my head is going to drive me insane.
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    @SharonBell - I wish they would let me be sad and understand more. My brother also looks at me as if I am immature in dealing with this. He has been though a lot and did a good job of it. However, I do think this is different. They think me being protective of every day sounds is stupid. They think it's because I am on the internet too much. Sorry, I can talk up a storm.
    4Grace
    @SharonBell - sadly I think about holidays and vacations with family. That I will never be able to participate as my old self again. I think about not being able to have a drink and nice dinner followed by desert again. I think about not being able to go with my friends for Christmas dinner a tradition we have been doing for over 25 years. We rent a bus.:(
    4Grace
    @SharonBell - most of all I miss being around my wife and daughter. She has a condition that causes her to have a melt down where she is screaming a the top of her lungs multiple times a day. I tried to stay active in their life but it was destroying my ears. My life has become the perfect storm. I have hope but not sure why… I look at happy people and miss being normal. Have not had a moment of happy for a year.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    It would be nice if this thing could be masked by something other than the shower, I can't just shower all day long.
    4Grace
    I have a portable sound machine. It's small. I always have it with me. Sometimes playing in my pocket. Even when I go for walks outside. It does not mask but it helps a lot. Crickets is the sound of choice.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I have no luck masking either. Everything makes it louder... whitenoise at 4 then T is at 5. Atleast it seems that way. That or this frequency cuts through everything.
    SharonBell
    Slept some after taking that 1/2 flexeril this morning actually didn't want to get up and take daughter to school. I know I probably shouldn't and I don't sleep during the day, but I think when I get back I'm going to see if I can sleep a few more hours. Anybody up yet?
    SharonBell
    Didn't sleep again. Been up for a little bit. I slept probably 4 hours and something. I took 1/2 flexerill about 30 minutes ago I should have taken it last night before I went to bed. I wear my Fitbit to bed to try and keep up with my sleep.
    SharonBell
    4Grace Do you have to watch what you eat and drink and caffeine. I can't sit in my house and relax at all. I know I stay on my phone and computer alot. Are you able to work. I can't sleep during the day and my body just feels like I'm wide awake all the time, I guess because I can't relax. Do you use a sound machine during the day and at night? I know what you mean about zero life. I don't like going anywhere.
    SharonBell
    4Grace yes that sounds horrible especially when you said, it's in your head I know you said, not all the time. So yours isn't all the time? Or just not in your head all the time and in your ears all the time. When is all the time. I have to watch what I eat, drink, have a set bedtime schedule, no caffeine, I wear my blue light glasses at night if I'm watching tv or looking at my phone.
    View previous comments…
    SharonBell
    4Grace why can't you watch tv?
    4Grace
    @SharonBell - I am disinterested. My T is so loud. To be honest I am scrambling all the time thinking of the impact of T and H on my life. I have lost the ability to go out to any functions. My T is progressive, daily. Especially with noise exposure. I have not made peace with that….. I don't know how to make peace with that …
    4Grace
    @SharonBell - if my T was not so reactive. If my ear did not hurt every time a fork dropped on a plate I believe I would be okay. I think the only road out for me is to just go out and live. Every time I do that I get a lot worse. I need to go and live a more quite life and my life with big family is the opposite of that..
    SharonBell
    Sarah do you use sound at night? I use my fan, sound machine and tv with black screen with the ocean that's how loud mine is. Oh and I use my phone by my head.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    I do all of that and my T still cannot be masked. =(
    SharonBell
    I know it's hard to mask mine also.
    SharonBell
    Sarah how are you doing? I'm not doing so good. So many things going through my mind today about not working, Christmas, not being able to do what I use to do. I can't go somewhere and use ear plugs they make my head buzz so much worse. I'm sorry how bad your T is too. My anxiety is so bad.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Not so good day. Thank you for checking in. ❤️ There will be better days for us, I promise. Gotta work hard for them, but better.
    SharonBell
    Awful day didn't sleep good last night either. Glad you are home ok. I sure hope you are right about better days. Oh is your anxiety bad? I was wondering if you take anxiety medicine?
    SarahMLFlemmer
    @SharonBell my anxiety was really bad, it's better now. I take medication for sleep only, yes (Amitriptyline 25mg). I take lowest dose Xanax for really bad days where I need to rest, but only occasionally.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Having a mental breakdown. No strength left. Love you all.
    BrOKeN_1
    Hang In There. I know it's tough. I know it's miserable. You are stronger then you know.
    Juliane
    Hang in there Sarah. Things can and will turn around for you again. Breaking down is natural when the reality of this condition becomes too much. Healing thoughts your way! <3
    cjbhab
    Sorry Sarah. It really really sucks. Hope you feel better soon. The other night I was literally pacing around at 1 am wondering what the hell im going to do. I know how you feel. Covid definitely spiked me good.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Gotta be strong, I have littles who need me. My Husband misses me but I only have so much strength to cope everyday.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    I can't keep up anymore and I don't even work outside the home. I homeschool two littles. I can deal with my other ailments, just not this.
    SharonBell
    Sarah I haven't worked in months ever since this Tinnitus started. It seems like loud noises make it worse. I was looking at CBT stuff last night with Dr. Hubbard. How can someone habituate when it's so loud and never stops is 24/7. Homeschooling must be hard especially when you don't sleep. I didn't sleep good either. I go to bed with ears and head buzzing-static and get up the same way every day.
    SharonBell
    Sarah have you heard that your tinnitus is normally as loud as it was diagnosed. Something like that. I read that somewhere last night. So mine is extended high frequency.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    I went to bed at 8:30 before all this mess. I can't sleep anymore at all unless I take a med, & tonight I can't stop crying. It's 12:40am.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    I think I have a high pain tolerance but I can't hang today. My perceived 7/10 is actually still pretty high in volume in reality. =|
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Extra loud today, making my head shake and ear pain. =[ Ready for a meltdown.
    View previous comments…
    Juliane
    Sorry Sarah ❤️ Remember you have been able to get through 100 percent of your worst days so far. Thinking of you
    4Grace
    My heart sits side by side with yours today. We are feeling the same :(
    SarahMLFlemmer
    @MaxRabbit it is not easily masked, only the shower helps, but even then I can hear it. My brain is starting to forget about it more, but not today.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    This noise makes my head hurt. Hope y'all are doing well today. Remember; one day at a time and even one moment at a time. ❤️
    SharonBell
    My T is usually the same every day 24/7 unless I'm around noise or eat something I shouldn't. Do y'all have to watch what you eat and drink and have a set bedtime and listen to sound machines at night.I can't be around anything real loud because of my hair cell damage. I couldn't even go to the haunted forest this year with my husband and daughter because of the chainsaw.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    My noise can get louder if I don't use protection and am around loud noise for a long period of time. I don't watch what I eat and drink, no. T sucks no matter what I do, so I don't monitor it in that way. I do have to use sound throughout the day or my head starts to hurt. I have to use low sound though or my T competes.
    SharonBell
    When I lay down it comes from both ears and my head buzzing-static. When It's coming from my brain. Ok you were taking about finding your sound.
    View previous comments…
    SharonBell
    Sarah that is very loud.
    SharonBell
    4Grace do you feel it in your head or just your ears?
    4Grace
    @SharonBell - the physical vibration is only on the right side of my head. Sound is so strong I feel it in my ears too. Like much tighter vibrations in ears but more burning. Sometimes, not always, my entire head is full of sound. Full. With both ears and all of this. I cannot at take listening to that YouTube video not even at lowest level. I would say I have 4, 7 and 9. If I remember correctly. Can't listen again.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Zero sleep last night. This should be a great day. =[
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    Bed time for 5 months was hell. No more then an hour if that for 5 months. No meds worked for me. Sleep came back to me with a few weeks mirt then came off. Sleep stayed. It's the only thing I got going. Only problem is when I wake up can't wait to go back into bed. Even if I stay on my phone. So sad. :(
    SarahMLFlemmer
    @4Grace I still can't get off medication for sleep and I want to so bad. Sometimes I even have to pop 2 pills. I'm glad you're able to at least fall asleep! I wake up often too. Sorry.
    4Grace
    @SarahMLFlemmer - I understand. I actually wish I could take a Med. I need one for the pain and sound. Also to deal with the impact on my life. I know I think about taking something everyday. I know everyone hates takings meds. So sorry too. So sorry.
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