Tryn2BHopeful

Tryn2BHopeful

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  • Tryn2BHopeful
    When do I reach the other side of this? Are all these things (habituation, etc) they say just ways of keeping me alive? Or is it real?
    View previous comments…
    Marshall
    It took me 2 years to mostly not care even when i have the random few and far between severe day. When it's bad bad it's just background noise, there is no emotion behind it. It's just there, and i never thought i would come to "habituation" i always scoffed at the bullshit people were spewing when they siad that word.
    BellaMia
    I've read people can take years. We aren't even a year in yet. Sometimes I think I might be but then nope! Mine isn't mild it bounces between moderate and severe. Causes anxiety....I've had a few mild days and what a difference! People with mild T have it a lot easier.
    4Grace
    @BellaMia - mild T can become a walk in the park. I can see that now.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    WTF is happening to me today?!?! I gotta breath.
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    We have to stop pending our hope on the sound of T. We have to be happy regardless of what it's doing. That's hard. I so want to see you so better. You are kind and much stronger then me.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @4Grace I am not stronger or kinder than anyone else here. I am just an unlucky bastard that got trapped by T. I have said I want to die more times than I can count. I don't normally post that here.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - as much as I say. I'm holding back. I feel the same my friend. I feel the same. Everyday.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I destroyed the good life I had by taking 2 pills, or by doing something IDFK. Every day is a sprint to the end to go to sleep...Breath....
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    This is my life everyday. Small bits of hope destroyed daily. A marathon to get to the end of each day. Going to bed with hope that tomorrow with be better. I wish you the best always.
    BellaMia
    @Tryn2BHopeful It's sad that I too feel this way. Counting down the days when death will free us.
    4Grace
    @BellaMia - :( I am so sorry to read the above from you. So sad we feel like this.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I didn't know that I would get to witness my own death. This isn't going to ever end. I miss being happy. I am tired of tryn.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I should stay off this site (understandably negative), but staying off this site then there is literally nobody that understands this.
    4Grace
    Just stay away from my profile and you will be okay. This is why I feel so bad. It has to be a place to vent. I am sorry. I think this place saved my life. I can't imagine doing it alone. My condition is not anyone else's.
    Ngo13
    Copy success stories onto an offline doc on your phone. That's what I did and I forced myself to only check those when I was struggling. You have to break the negative thought/reassurance cycle. You can do this. We will all be here when you check back.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    1 year ago I was fighting a monster kidney stone and I thought that was as bad as it could get. Relativity is a bitch.
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - all my past personal problems were nothing compared to this. Know a guy - horrible T - since developed bad vertigo. Tells me V made him much less worried about T.
    cyberspace
    Things keep becoming exponentially worse for me. Tinnitus is the least of my problems now.
    Marina Moon
    Years ago i had very bad abdominal pain for 2 months, and despite going to doctors they didn't know what it was or what to do, but fortunately it went away and never came back. I used to think that was a harrowing experience. Relativity is real and is most certainly without a doubt a total heinous bitch.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Everything I stop mirt a week later everything seems worse.... I literally took so little of it... gotta hang in there I guess.
    View previous comments…
    Juliane
    Sorry if this sounds untactful, but.... Did you not get T from a drug? I hope not from the mirt?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Juliane HAH yes I did, but it was not mirt. I got T from Escitalopram (Lexapro)... After I became insomnious for weeks and desperate I was given Mirt. I honestly knew no better, I will admit without it I might of ended up in a ditch somewhere or worse. At this point I think I could go without it, but I havent been able to get over the hump of withdrawal.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Juliane I think about the ill affects of this drug often and try to keep the dose as low as possible.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    They say tinnitus improves naturally over time... how true is that statement?! Some of the stories on TT seem to show otherwise.
    View previous comments…
    AfroSnowman
    Overwhelming people do better with this over time, sometimes through healing, sometimes through the habituation process
    RunningMan
    That same drug has left me with stomach pain going on two months after I finished off weaning off over 2 weeks after taking 10 mg for 7 weeks. I'm not sure if it has left my tinnitus any worse. It's pretty variable in cycles with no real baseline. It's a piercing squealing high frequency tone today.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - I got mine after many things. It was 5 days after taking that same drug. Also noise trauma around the same time
    Tryn2BHopeful
    7.5 Months, things haven't changed much for better or worse so I guess I should just stop my whining.
    View previous comments…
    L along the way
    Well.. expressing how you feel is not whining i guess...
    4Grace
    If it's not worsening and no pain it's a real positive. Honest, I would give anything for that …. I know it's still very hard for you. I am happiest when the pain subsides.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @4Grace Mostly why I should just stop whining... I know people have it worse than me. I know things could be worse. They could be alot better to. A year ago life was going fantastic... and here we are hanging by a thread.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    2 kids to see finish school, go to college, and grow up to be fine adults. Will I even make it that far?! I feel for those younger than me.
    BrOKeN_1
    Seeing all these young kids behind headphones constantly is concerning as well. This condition is certainly headed in an epidemic direction.
    4Grace
    @BrOKeN_1 - I think the same thing all the time.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    2 Pills and a lot of bad luck changed everything. The future is no more, daily survival is my only goal. Maybe god will throw me a f'n bone.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Habituation.... Acceptance.... CBT... TRT... Fuck. The only thing I have gotten better at is faking being OK.
    L along the way
    I symphatize, i want real healing, the real thing... plenty of rest is how i try to find it, and also just distracting myself sometimes (work, hobby's, games)
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Realizing I don't know how long I have before this condition pushes me off the edge. Going to try to enjoy what I got as much as possible!
    View previous comments…
    gameover
    @Tryn2BHopeful. I know. During my quieter/better moments I manage to enjoy some things. Food, coffee, walking in the woods, watching movie, playing chess, sex. Perhaps the last one is the most effective and allows me to momentarily forget about the torment.
    4Grace
    @gameover - I know what you mean when you say enjoying anything seems impossible. Losing interest in the things I once loved is scary. Very scary. Sex is always great. I agree with that one.
    Pinhead
    @gameover Mine totally disappears during sex and after for a few minutes. I've always wondered why.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Saw another ENT today to get a referral, so I had no choice... again suggested LIPOFlavonoids.. At this point I figure WTF why not...
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Besides 30$ is a drop in the bucket compared to an ent visit...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Starting taking 3 a day over the weekend. Obviously no difference as of yet, good or bad. Trying to ease my body into it, rather then 6 pills a day as recommended.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    So going into second week and upping the dose... no change as expected. Those with glucose meters be aware the amount of vit C will mess up your readings (higher)
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Amazing, they tell you not to accept ignore it as an answer... I try to schedule with an actual Tinnitus clinic... 6-8 month wait min.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    They offer TRT, Maskers, Lenire. However it should be an actual T evaluation, all I get around my area is a hearing test and an apology that they can't help. The Dr. trained under Jasterbroffe. I know there is alot of negative post on TRT and Dr. J but I got to try something whether it's that or something else.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Who knows in 8 months maybe we will be looking at auricle
    Marina Moon
    Always ask to be notified if there's a cancellation/or on their website. That helped me see neuro faster.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    My wife is scheduling our "vacation" all I can think about is if I can handle the drive...
    kingsfan
    When i drove coast to coast, I swapped between my 1of1 custom earplugs with 26db filters, and foam plugs with Bose QC25 over top depending on the road surface. I-70, east of Denver was incredibly loud for some reason.

    Neither pair of Peltors I have helped with road noise as much as the QC25s.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I don't usually wear plugs to drive, and didn't last time we went. That was one month after T started, I had no idea how far this rabbit hole would go. Also didn't have the hummm after I drive yet.
    4Grace
    @kingsfan - every time I hear about wearing earplugs I get depressed. My T is too loud with them on. Unbearable, painful and was too loud. The sound hurts with them on. So frustrating.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Heard this today - It's like having a cut on your body and helplessly watching yourself bleed to death.
    4Grace
    Don't forget that almost everything you do in attempt to heal that cut only makes it worse. :( Your only hope is to convince yourself to be happy to watch it bleed and hope it does not get worse.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I dedicated a year of my life to fighting diabetes and won... just to get Tinnitus. What luck I have.
    cyberspace
    Similar thing happened with me, was on house arrest for two years for a crime that I never committed, case finally ended, did microsuction the literal next day and this happened
    Marina Moon
    Never forget the battles you fought so hard to win! (i tell myself this whenever i feel down) You conquered one beast and you can another. Hang in here!
    Juliane
    House arrest for two years???
    Tryn2BHopeful
    So if my T is from hearing loss, why did it only show up after I took lexapro?!
    RunningMan
    Lexapro was probably a significant factor in yours as you suspected all along. I think Sertraline followed by Lexapro had some effect on my existing tinnitus with more intermittent chirping sounds (days into Sertraline) in my left ear, which have settled since being off Lexapro
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I went to the largest facility around here, could off me nothing more than a masker. I think I am done for.
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    They didn't even try to offer you TRT?
    4Grace
    I still go see different people for help but deep down I kinda already know. So sorry. Time may be are only hope.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan they didn't have it... I asked for a recommendation... was given ata.org... I mean... thanks? Now I need another referral to see someone else. So an apt to get that
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Left ear hurts today. T is blaring. No end in sight
    Utdmad89
    Do you have Hyperacusis?
    4Grace
    When pain happens together with T it sucks. I really feel for you. Words are getting hard to find. I love you guys. Really.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Utdmad89 I think I have had a mild form of it. Left ear acting up since someone accidentally yelled in my ear. Ibuprofen seemed to get rid of the pain oddly enough
    Tryn2BHopeful
    So I have mild hearing loss starting at 9k and dipping down to moderate at 14k and back to normal at 16k. I guess that's my problem?
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    I remember you mentioning the low frequency. I have LF tinnitus as well going back a few years in my left ear - thought it was real sounds originally. There are periods of days where it's minimal and other times annoyingly distracting. Seems so different than my mid and high freq sounds.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan So yeah, I thought I had beat the low frequency T, but it seems to be back again. It might be all of the noise from these holiday gatherings. My extended high frequency loss doesnt really explain the low frequency T, since the sound is usually where your loss is, unless I have loss less then 250Hz
    RunningMan
    Yeah, my low frequency came on separately and unknown cause. I remember going outside trying to figure out where that sound was coming from. Since it's left ear only, was later able to figure out it was tinnitus as it got more noticeable. Crazy. I had previous thought tinnitus was just ringing, like I already had!
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Holidays are feeling depressing, got my birthday wrapped up in there. I want to fight, I want to die, I want my life back, I want....<sigh>
    4Grace
    It's hard. So hard. This condition has changed us for ever. We just have to hope for a miracle. Maybe in a few years. Who knows.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Never in my life had I thought I would type those words into a forum. :( Anymore I am just Tryn2Survive. Little did I know when I joined this forum the extent of hell I would be subjected to. I look at my kids and wife and just push for another OK day with them. I want for nothing else.
    M
    My birthday is the 30th. I feel your pain.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Ugh, I hate that when I type on a keyboard my left ear flutters... its so strange. Why T, Why!?!?! WTF did we do to deserve this?!?
    RunningMan
    That sounds like TTTS. I've never had it from typing. Left ear fluttering I only seem to ever have from voices, and right ear thumps spontaneously occasionally regardless whether there is a sound. Fortunately, it seems to be minor issue for me compared to T & anxiety. Also still dealing with stomach discomfort after about 7 weeks of unhelpful Lexapro that I stopped a few weeks ago.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan Its slightly better today, bad spike yesterday, livable atm. Lexapro is some evil stuff IMO
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