Juliane

Not too well for the past two weeks. Took some days off. I was doing okay before, but the couple "traumas", especially the last audiogram fucked me. The brain is disintegrating. This is not tinnitus, it is a form of a brain cancer.

@gameover how was your last audiogram?

Hey @gameover I've read that face massages really helped you. Can you send me a link or you tube video that you use please. Thanks

I've gotten interested in mindfulness.. but the thing with this is.. if there is actual harm to the physical auditory nerves, like... how to find ease & stillness with this condition. The inspiration i've found for natural wellbeing.. feels so disturbed by this one.

Also, if it were just 'annoying sound'.. but it's painful too, something has been truly harmed.. and it may be safe to say, it has a negative effect on our cognitive & emotional wellbeing states. I notice that i get a lot of thoughts around t.. and i feel like.. if i try to stop, and be with the actual experience & sensations, it's just painful and distressing, and i feel the want to escape that.

That's why i maybe always crave for a better tomorrow, because the actual experience with this.. i find it hard to just be and settle within.. because it's just so discomfortable and it feels like it's disturbing more than it just is an 'annoying sound'. I guess.. i say again.. a better day.. i don't really know another way. Wishing it to get well and that we be okay.. pppffffttttt stay strong guys..

Yeah, blow this place up.

I like to think of the sentiment as muscle building. You workout to fatigue, then rest your muscles to get stronger. But you *need* to rest. Tinnitus and its adjacent auditory related conditions do not relent. There is no rest period.

Well, if I ever heal from this, then I guess I can say I've learned a lot and became stronger. That's only if it heals though. If not, then I'd rather never had to go through all this. There has to be a better day awaiting us.

Medical fact: stress makes you die sooner. Tinnitus causes catastrophic amounts of indominable stress. Therefore...

Prob not. ❤️

I tried two hearing aids, neither worked for me. I have the rare reverse slope which is the 1% of hearing loss, while they are made for the 99% high frequency loss. If you have high frequency loss and tinnitus they could help.

Thanks all! As I have reactive T, I guess this is out of the question for me.

@Juliane - if you truly have bad reactive T please continue to be careful. Don’t mean to scare you. I wish I listened but I think mentally I just could not endure.

With dementia, maybe T will seem like a fresh new horrible experience every day.

I read that having T increases probability of having dementia. If that is the case, I wouldn't mind it. Maybe we can go faster than waiting thousand decades with T.

Dementia would possibly just make you unable to word your issue properly. You still experience pain, fear, sadness, etc.

It might offer some relief from anxiety and from the existential burden of being responsible for our own happiness and our own careers. But sadly, if we get dementia, it would shift the burden of our problems onto our loved ones. :(

I think tinnitus just makes other things even more difficult to deal with.

@Juliane - karma yes. I was not a very religious person before this. Sometimes we may suffer due to fact that we live in a fallen world. Suffering can be a result of sin. I was prideful and lived for things of the flesh. Now this may sound insane on here. Like Nox you can’t know until you know. I have had things happen to me that you would not believe. Not for everyone but for me this was 100 percent God.

@Juliane - when I say this was God I mean I did this to myself. I have been thinking of every moment that I did not live in accordance to Gods commandments. Take this as you will. I am as sure as day. 100 percent. I had a hard time changing my ways. I did not realize what I was doing.

@4Grace Thanks for sharing that. But I guess many of us live as sinners according to some religions. I know people who I think have sinned a lot more than me but they don't have tinnitus. I have given up looking for justice. I don't understand the world or God's plan.

Na we just care too much and got screwed not trusting out guts.

@Travis Henry, how are you?

I want it bad.

I don’t think Sarahml coming on here same time as me was a coincidence. I had a million things happen to be that cannot be chalked up to coincidence.

@4Grace I am curious as to why you don't think it was a coincidence that you and Sarah came to TT at the same time?

I by the way feel the same way with many events in my life in recent years. They somehow would have led me here no matter what I did

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I understand this statement so much. Truly feel this statement deep down. Are you in flight or fight during the day ? Experiencing anxiety ? Wondering if it’s getting worse due to stress. Love you. I wish we could do more to help each other.

Sorry to read, i symphatize. When do we get a break from this stuff? It's been harsh beyond words.. How is this endurable i ask myself? The only thing which kinda helps me right now is to give it time. For sleep i've been using meds, which have been helpful. Daily life.. work.. going for walks, distract myself with gaming. Praying for time to make things better