I was just about to ask you the same thing,
@Jazzer. You seem to be coping very well
As with many of us who suffered severe maternal deprivation (a total lack of bonding) I was able to develop no self-esteem during my childhood. My guilt was constant. I was guilty of drawing breath.
My primary message from my infancy was:
"There is no love. Don't even bother to go looking for it - there is none!"
That has remained a constant companion to me, and a feeling I have to confront every day.
Intellectually, I know myself to be a good, kind, loving person.
But on a primal level - I do not necessarily feel that.
Primary messages absorbed in the first few hours, days, weeks, months, years of life are so resistant to change.
"You can cry your heart out, scream til your lungs burst - I am not coming to pick you up," says a mentally disturbed mother.
This is the major cause of mental illness, depression, schizoid behaviour, alcoholism, narcissism, all addictions, violent behaviour issues. The damage done is indescribably appalling, and unbelievably painful for the unfortunate sufferers.
"The way to develop a better world, a better society, can only begin in the nursery - the primary messages are crucial." (Donald Winnicott.)
Add to this, severe tinnitus, Parkinson's disease, and now the loss of the one person who made me feel that my life is worthwhile.
Sylvie believed in me. I just adored her.
At a time of serious breakdown she used her amazing hypnotherapy skills to give me a treatment, that she simultaneously recorded onto my iPhone. (22 minutes of love.)
Her voice accompanies me when I take my daily walk.
She puts me to sleep every night when I go to bed.
You asked me how I cope Aura.
A combination of Sylvie's encouragement, my daily meditation, and a study of the teachings of one Eckhart Tolle.
Sorry to be so long winded. I didn't know how to cut it down.