Suicidal

[Contrast]

Daily reminder that the United States Federal Government™ denies disability income 5 times in a row for special needs people with severe health complications. They have successfully shielded the hard working tax payer from damages. Donald Trump's defense mechanism that prevent disabled people from getting disability are EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE. If I can't get disability then it's safe to say NO ONE (outside of Vets) CAN.

 

[Agrajag364]

If only there was a quick and painless method... I always used to hate to say stuff like that on this forum in case it encouraged anyone but oh my God, if there was, how many more people would take that exit.

Lying there listening to my screeching noise every night, unable to sleep, and now with very terrible depression as well, I keep dreaming about a little pill or just somewhere to drift off to sleep and never wake up. If only there was a way.

 

[Agrajag364]

I'm increasingly reaching the same place. COVID-19 has nothing to do with it in my case (and hopefully you will feel better when you aren't so isolated from it). I highly doubt you will be sick enough to need a ventilator, please try not to let that add to your worries. The world does look like shit right now, though, doesn't it? At least i can hopefully add comfort by saying your Lenire spike is most likely temporary based on testimonials I have read here. Hang in there.

But i do relate to some of your sentiments and it worries me. There really is no *reason* for me to keep going other than the fact that I want to wait to try regenerative medicine so I can hopefully hear a song again in my lifetime. But with Macrolide ototoxicity that's way more of an unknown than with noise induced (though I'm confident regen medicine will fix my tinnitus).

I missed my chance at life. I missed my chance to have my own family as I married a self-absorbed man with a cruel streak who left when I was no longer able to keep my job (emotionally first and then physically). I know I have talked about this before but he literally disappeared for 3 days when I lost my hearing more or less to punish me for pleading with him to change his drinking plans with his sister and then, eventually, he wouldn't even look at me or sit next to me and would refuse to turn down music or the TV when I had my initial hyperacusis and then filmed me hyperventilating from crying so hard to show people what a "child" I had become. I even heard him once on the phone laughing to his sister about how i probably belonged in an insane asylum. And since I had both hearing and visual symptoms he accused me of lying and/or just being mentally ill because that's just too improbable apparently. I don't think you can ever recover from loving someone and trusting them with all your heart and then having them be so cruel. I will carry those scars for whatever length of life I have. I just can't "unsee" how this world can be anymore and maybe that's the crux of my problem.

I'm 42 now. If I heal from regenerative medicine in a few years, i will still have to start completely over.

I have decimated my retirement account. And in addition to Erik leaving, my father (who would have been so wonderful and supportive right now like he was when I had Lyme 15 years ago) passed away a decade ago. My mother is completely impatient with me and has even had her friend (who is local to me) stop to take some of her heirlooms back since I wasn't going to have grandkids.

Only two of my long time friends have tried to really relate to the new, sadder me but they have small children and have their own lives. I realize there are some people would miss me if I was gone but I think many more would be glad i was suffering anymore. They really don't know what to say to me anymore and I don't blame them.

I read once that a lot of Holocaust victims killed themselves *after* they were freed. They were the ones who lost their whole families and didn't know how to start over.

I feel that. I don't/wouldn't know how to start over. I'm too traumatized at this point. And I also have substantial neck arthritis that will need invasive surgery within the next 5-10 years so i am potentially facing serious additional health problems.

Really, the only thing that could make me see the beauty in life again is music. And that's because more than my ears have been damaged, it feels like who I am is lost forever.

The problem is that macrolide ototoxicity is unique in that in addition to hair cells, it also damages certain ion channels in the auditory brainstem (not the same ones Dr. Thanos is working on) so music might be the thing I have to live without but it's also the thing I can't live without anymore.

I'm not immediately suicidal but I can't help but think often that this would be a good place to get off this ride. This feeling will hopefully pass but it's real and i can't pretend it's not here and maybe that's why we all come here to talk about it.

I feel for you so much.

 

[dan]

I am in complete agony and distress.
Pls someone help me.

Is your tinnitus maskable?

 

[GlennS]

Telling someone with nerve pain not to take an ACT course

In lieu of a cure, people reach for the best coping mechanisms available. If you discourage people from doing that, what are they left with? Being angry at the medical establishment for not having a cure does not help anyone cope in the day-to-day.

 

[Contrast]

In lieu of a cure, people reach for the best coping mechanisms available. If you discourage people from doing that, what are they left with? Being angry at the medical establishment for not having a cure does not help anyone cope in the day-to-day.

Yes. (Kinda).

We don't know how these elite psychologists will respond to criticism. They need to hear the counter argument of what it's like to suffer.

America is a social darwinist country, it allows the disabled, poor and weak to die off.

They can complain all they want, they are still going to die.

 

[GlennS]

America is a social darwinist country, it allows the disabled, poor and weak to die off.

or....Tinnitus is just damn hard to cure. But finding someone to blame is more satisfying.

 

[xyz]

or....Tinnitus is just damn hard to cure. But finding someone to blame is more satisfying.

Tinnitus may be hard to cure. But as a prerequisite some research is needed. And this is quite marginal compared to other disorders like chronic pain, depression. Maybe because some psychologists say CBT, TRT is all the average tinnitus sufferer needs.

 

[Zugzug]

or....Tinnitus is just damn hard to cure. But finding someone to blame is more satisfying.

I just want some of the money that's incorrectly thrown at psychology to be thrown at tinnitus, hyperacusis, fibromyalgia, visual snow, etc. I don't hold all of the same beliefs as Contrast about psychology/psychiatry, but he's right that some of that money should be redirected. Hell, not even all redirection, there's something to be said about simply more government spending into medicine in general.

 

[ASilverLight]

Still having a pretty rough time. I'd say I'm used to it in silence by now - it doesn't scare me or bother me. But I have a hissing sort of noise that is pretty much unmaskable no matter what I do, which makes everything hard to enjoy. Even having music on low (to mask the other noises) it's there... I've completely lost that passion, and while I was always very safe and enjoyed it in moderation, music really was my biggest passion. I'm not sure I'll ever get that same enjoyment out of it, even if my tinnitus got cured...

I just really feel like a different person. The little things that made my life enjoyable are no longer all that enjoyable, and I'm tired all the time. On top of some other crappy health issues that have been building up over the past few months... I live from day to day. Sometimes it's fine. Sometimes it's not. But it's a daily struggle, and I'm tired.

 

[Bartoli]

America is a social darwinist country, it allows the disabled, poor and weak to die off.

If Darwin had his way, Trump wouldn't have any voters left.

 

[Contrast]

I just want some of the money that's incorrectly thrown at psychology to be thrown at tinnitus, hyperacusis, fibromyalgia, visual snow, etc. I don't hold all of the same beliefs as Contrast about psychology/psychiatry, but he's right that some of that money should be redirected. Hell, not even all redirection, there's something to be said about simply more government spending into medicine in general.

The entire system is focused on preventing people from getting disability income. This girl on twitter with fibromygia was making post about it.

 

[Bartoli]

Tinnitus may be hard to cure. But as a prerequisite some research is needed. And this is quite marginal compared to other disorders like chronic pain, depression. Maybe because some psychologists say CBT, TRT is all the average tinnitus sufferer needs.

When you look at it from the outside in the vast majority of people with tinnitus aren't very bothered by it. If most studies point out 98% don't find it a problem, it's not very high on the priority list. That's also 98% of tinnitus sufferers telling others it's not a big deal.

The only thing we've got going for us is that it's SO common, in absolute numbers there's still a significant number of people whose lives are severily impacted by tinnitus.

But... I don't think that there's a link between how badly a disease needs a cure and the probability that a cure is found. There are many horrible things out there for which there isn't a cure as of yet. Think of Parkinson's, dementia, Huntington's, ALS, MS, Cerebral Palsy,...

There's plenty of money in research on very trivial things that happen to be lucrative. I haven't checked, but I'm willing to bet there has been more money in toothpaste than in tinnitus research.

P.S.: toothpaste is still very important if you want to avoid having to go to the dentist. Keep brushin'.

 

[GlennS]

Tinnitus may be hard to cure. But as a prerequisite some research is needed. And this is quite marginal compared to other disorders like chronic pain, depression. Maybe because some psychologists say CBT, TRT is all the average tinnitus sufferer needs.

It hasn't been proven that the reason R&D isn't being spent on tinnitus is because "psychologists say CBT, TRT is all the average tinnitus sufferer needs."

Also, how much money is enough? Is Frequency Therapeutics unfunded? Is Neuromod?

Anyone suffering from an incurable disease is going to think there's never enough money being put into a cure. Not all of them make angry accusations, though.

 

[Contrast]

If Darwin had his way, Trump wouldn't have any voters left.

You are not saying Darwin's theory was wrong are you?

 

[Contrast]

They either make you resilent (through ACT) or docile (through benzos)

At the end of the day it's still behaviorist trying to manipulate you.

 

[Bartoli]

You are not saying Darwin's theory was wrong are you?

How is this the product of tens of thousands of years of evolution? I'm calling BS.

 

[Jazzer]

Big pharma is not stupid.
It obviously knows that inventing a cure, a drug to effectively treat or cure Tinnitus, would be a commercial coup - a bullseye - an incredible success story.
The profits would be huge.
There is no doubt in my mind that people are working on this possibility.
The incentive is clearly there - no question.

I personally do not believe that sufferers, whose lives, professions, incomes, have all been shattered by this curse, should donate their few remaining pennies to research, as if that would make any difference at all.
They should draw some slight pleasure from spending what little they have left on themselves.
Buy that extra cup of coffee.
The prize of a cure is up there for all to see.
But the problem is so complex, the brain, the hearing mechanism so incredibly intricate, that there is no obvious way forward.
We need a genius team with brainwaves to come up with real ideas to tackle this intractable wretched condition.
If it ever happens - they will reap huge rewards.

 

[Bartoli]

Big pharma is not stupid.
It obviously knows that inventing a cure, a drug to effectively treat or cure Tinnitus, would be a commercial coup - a bullseye - an incredible success story.
The profits would be huge.
There is no doubt in my mind that people are working on this possibility.
The incentive is clearly there - no question.

I personally do not believe that sufferers, whose lives, professions, incomes, have all been shattered by this curse, should donate their few remaining pennies to research, as if that would make any difference at all.
They should draw some slight pleasure from spending what little they have left on themselves.
Buy that extra cup of coffee.
The prize of a cure is up there for all to see.
But the problem is so complex, the brain, the hearing mechanism so incredibly intricate, that there is no obvious way forward.
We need a genius team with brainwaves to come up with real ideas to tackle this intractable wretched condition.
If it ever happens - they will reap huge rewards.

I wholeheartedly agree. But I'm not holding my breath.
It has been said on here many times before, but we don't even have something to regrow our actual hair on our scalp. That seems just as lucrative, if not more, and also a great deal simpler to achieve I might imagine.

 

[jasonbourne]

I wholeheartedly agree. But I'm not holding my breath.
It has been said on here many times before, but we don't even have something to regrow our actual hair on our scalp. That seems just as lucrative, if not more, and also a great deal simpler to achieve I might imagine.

I stand by my comment that the cure for cancer will come before balding, and that before hearing loss. However, accidents happen all the time. So who knows. Propecia as a hair loss treatment (finasteride was used previously just for prostate enlargement) was discovered by accident.

 

[FGG]

I wholeheartedly agree. But I'm not holding my breath.
It has been said on here many times before, but we don't even have something to regrow our actual hair on our scalp. That seems just as lucrative, if not more, and also a great deal simpler to achieve I might imagine.

As it turns out, it is simpler to grow an inner ear hair cell than a scalp hair cell because by great luck the inner ear hair cells use similar cell signaling as the cells of the intestinal lining (scalp hair cells do not) which are designed for unlimited regeneration in the body every week for the life of the mammal.

Birds have retained this ability in the inner ear and mammals have the means to do it, too, but those genes (though present) have been "switched off". With the right cell signaling, however, they can be switched back on. That's the whole basis of hair cell regeneration. And it's actually much less complicated than treating pattern baldness.

This goes into more detail:

 

[Contrast]

This is propaganda. The lightning represents nerves sending noxious signals, the woman in the stern concentration face represents mind over matter/resilience BS towards suffering. The goal is to get the person who is suffering to show resilience.

I find resilience pointless, it doesn't help my situation.

 

[GlennS]

I find resilience pointless, it doesn't help my situation.

What does?

 

[Contrast]

As it turns out, it is simpler to grow an inner ear hair cell than a scalp hair cell because by great luck the inner ear hair cells use similar cell signaling as the cells of the intestinal lining (scalp hair cells do not) which are designed for unlimited regeneration in the body every week for the life of the mammal.

Birds have retained this ability in the inner ear and mammals have the means to do it, too, but those genes (though present) have been "switched off". With the right cell signaling, however, they can be switched back on. That's the whole basis of hair cell regeneration. And it's actually much less complicated than treating pattern baldness.

This goes into more detail:

Lay people talk about hair cell regeneration, neuromodulation, and repairing a damaged cochlea. Medical professionals talk about CBT, TRT and ACT. This is how you know we are living in a clown world.

 

[Contrast]

What does?

Adopting the lifestyle and habits of @JulianBrumbelow

I never got to go to college, or do anything meaningful with my life for the past six years or so. So I might as well act like a mentally retarded adult preschooler on a tinnitus forum. If I don't get what I want in life, and If I know I am being harmed by others. I'm not going to let them throw shit at my face while I keep trying to recover. I will just give up.

I'm not going to slave myself to the system. I'm just going to give up on reality all together.

 

[Autumnly]

If most studies point out 98% don't find it a problem, it's not very high on the priority list. That's also 98% of tinnitus sufferers telling others it's not a big deal.

Do you have any sources for this? Because based on the studies I've seen, far more than 2% are burdened by tinnitus. It's estimated, however, that about 1-2% of the world's population is severely affected by tinnitus.

Methods: The 2007 National Health Interview Survey (raw N=75,764) was analyzed, identifying adults reporting tinnitus in the preceding 12 months.

Regarding subjective severity:

• 7.2% believed it to be a big or a very big problem
• 20.2% thought it was a moderate problem
• 41.6% noted it to be a small problem
• with 31% not bothered by it at all

Most of these surveys are also not based on patients with chronic, constant tinnitus. So if we're saying "x% are fine" we have to be precise about what type of tinnitus population we're talking about.

 

[Bartoli]

It's estimated, however, that about 1-2% of the world's population is severely affected by tinnitus.

It's a number that gets thrown around all the time. In the context of the big pharma having an incentive to develop a cure, which is what the discussion was about, I sort of assumed that the severe group are the ones who will be guaranteed to buy it, pretty much whatever the cost.

I had mild-to-moderate tinnitus in the past. A cure or treatment or even tinnitus was not on my mind most days, so I'm pretty sure I would not have been a potential client for a cure at that point.

I do get your point about the confusing numbers. Some questionnaires consider tinnitus as "having had a ringing sound in your ear for more than 5 minutes in the past year".

 

[Bartoli]

As it turns out, it is simpler to grow an inner ear hair cell than a scalp hair cell because by great luck the inner ear hair cells use similar cell signaling as the cells of the intestinal lining (scalp hair cells do not) which are designed for unlimited regeneration in the body every week for the life of the mammal.

Birds have retained this ability in the inner ear and mammals have the means to do it, too, but those genes (though present) have been "switched off". With the right cell signaling, however, they can be switched back on. That's the whole basis of hair cell regeneration. And it's actually much less complicated than treating pattern baldness.

I hope you're right. We're a great deal different than birds. Even though the ability to regenerate hearing is dormant, do we really know for sure that there is something out there to start that process in humans? I know FX-322 is supposed to do that, but we don't have solid proof at this point. And we can't just look into the cochlea either to verify. I don't mean to be a downer, just see my skepticism as a method of self-preservation.

 

[Contrast]

Daily reminder that science still has no clue how to explain subjectivity of consciousness and denies even the most limited degree of free will. As far as mainstream science is concerned, everything in our world would be 100% the same but without any consciousness. We would be living our lives, going to work, shitposting on a tinnitus forum. But without any inner life. Also if time was reversed 10000 years, every exact event that lead to your existence would have occured because animals and humans are machines obeying mathematical laws. The same would be true if the big bang occured exactly as it did. It's all math.

Is this really the reality we are living in? Or was it a mistake to ignore consciousness from the equation? Someone needs to seriously smack the shit out of me until I stop believing all this new age woo. It's all desperation since there is no hope left. The only thing is I never knew free will and materialism were incompatible. I always took free will for granted and was shocked when all these prominent scientist announced free will is an illusion.

 

[GlennS]

Would answering whether freewill exists change your day to day life in any meaningful way? It's not like any of us can change the nature of the universe. Whatever it is, it is, just like our tinnitus. All you can do is find a way to accept it and move on.