BellaMia

BellaMia

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  • BellaMia
    I suppose I need a second cover up tattoo Lol..... Thought I was done with tattoos but now I need a cover up.
    MadeleineHope
    Just wanted to say it's nice to see you back! Great to see your smiling face again :)
    View previous comments…
    BellaMia
    @MadeleineHope Absolutely we are. I'm glad to hear your H has improved. I feel as time goes on it will inch it's way to almost non-existent for you or you'll get to a place that you don't mind it.

    Keep pushing forward and when you hit a bump, I'll listen. ❤️ You're far too strong to stop now.
    MadeleineHope
    Thank you! And right back at ya ;)
    MadeleineHope
    Oh, and lovely new photo btw! I admire how well you're still able to take care of yourself despite the tinnitus!
    BellaMia
    Living w/Tinnitus alone is a challenge. Dating in the future will be shit. How in the hell do I get tinnitus & a year later this happens?
    View previous comments…
    Stayinghopeful
    I've had very mild t for 15 years.

    I got covid in 2021 and two weeks after testing positive I got all new noises and reactivity and it's been a roller coaster since then with it.

    I'm slowly getting better at dealing with it emotionally.

    I think when I'm ready to start dating again I'll be sticking to coffee shops and outdoor events haha.
    Juliane
    I know this may sound annoying but what if it is all part of your healing journey? I have a feeling it might be! Your suffering is not forever. Far from it. I see healing in your eyes. :)
    BellaMia
    @Juliane I appreciate the positivity.❤️ I hope we all have healing in our eyes!
    BellaMia
    Dear Susan Shore. Help us.
    View previous comments…
    Mattstarr251
    geez 2026? ive heard possibly summer of 2024
    gameover
    Nope. They have not submitted to FDA yet, or at best just did it. Add 140 days on average for approval (if goes well). They have no employees, the company is still a shell. Just got 2nd round of early funding. 2024 is impossible.
    Utdmad89
    @Mattstarr251 no one knows when it will be available! It's all uneducated speculation!
    BellaMia
    I'm getting a mouth guard made by my dentist. They said they feel some crunching on my right side. Which is my bad T side. Let's hope.
    View previous comments…
    BellaMia
    @just1morething Yikes! I wonder if surgery will make your T go away. Wouldn't that be amazing.
    just1morething
    @BellaMia, Dr. Bolding is quite sure that will solve my left ear tinnitus, but no guarantee. It would be amazing and make me very happy. I hate waking up every morning to left ear noise. I've heard some say my jaw is not related to my tinnitus but I hope they are wrong.
    Marina Moon
    @BellaMia With a TMJ MRI, they'll want to do imaging of your jaw when it is closed and open, and a little movie of you opening and closing your mouth to see, for example, if your discs move/displace.
    SharonBell
    @BellaMia In so sorry you are going through so much at one time. We are here for you when you need to talk.
    BellaMia
    @SharonBell I really appreciate that, thank you. It's not easy by any means but doing my best to make it okay. I hope you're holding up well. How are you doing?
    BellaMia
    Okay so what helps minor ear pain go away? I drink tumeric & ginger tea. Doesn't help like it used to. Tylenol only lasts temporarily.
    View previous comments…
    Utdmad89
    @BellaMia i think i have the same thing! I do get sharp pain for a second or two here and there. I also get bad headaches.
    BellaMia
    Ugh! Guys I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this too. It's just annoying and a very challenging way to live. I know I'm barely keeping up at times.
    Utdmad89
    I'm sorry you're dealing with this! It makes everything harder. And the fact you read stories like Brian's and it scares the crap out of you!
    BellaMia
    Little sleep, little appetite, lost almost 15 lbs, T is blaring. I need a hug and maybe some chocolate.
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    Today started the same, but I took Ativan before noon, and my tinnitus turned into a hiss in another hour or so. So, I'm doing ok now, but the squealing single tone always returns in 1 to 3 days, and it has seemed more intense lately. Hopefully we both see better days.
    BellaMia
    Oh my gosh. I really hope it calms down for you. Do you think the Ativan could be making it worse?
    RunningMan
    Unlikely Ativan. I only took 3 low dose 0.5mg over 2 weeks. Half potency and much shorter half life compared to Clonazepam. I don't know if it helped with softening it to a hiss when I took it yesterday, either, because it cycles between those sounds regularly. The hiss continues today which is easier to deal with.
    BellaMia
    Trying to slow down on my depressing spam but I'm entering the stages of grief now. Here we go again.
    MindOverMatter
    You will overcome this @BellaMia , with time. Grief is a natural process, although consuming at times. But you have the strength within to get through this storm.
    BellaMia
    @MindOverMatter Thank you. I hope to be as successful as possible. I'm scared though. I have to pay for a house that's needs 2 incomes all alone now. I'm terrified. I hope I'll make enough money. My poor mother may have to help. I can't believe this is my reality.
    R
    You got this, this shit sucks but we cant let it take over our life
    BellaMia
    The feeling of having your heart ripped out & a life you loved ripped from you hurts so bad. The emptiness is louder then the T.
    BellaMia
    Who here is a single parent w/Tinnitus? Or just doing this w/o a spouse? My husband was my biggest support system and now I'm alone. Advice?
    View previous comments…
    Stayinghopeful
    Im doing this solo, its very hard at times. I remember my ex partner telling me before we broke up that ''I can't support you in the way you need to be supported'' and i remember thinking that support only really needs to be a hug or a positive sentence. Im sorry your doing this solo.
    BellaMia
    @Stayinghopeful That's horrible! I can't believe someone would do that. My husband made a bad choice that couldn't be taken back or forgiven. So here I am alone too trying to comfort myself. It isn't the same though. What hell this condition is.
    Stayinghopeful
    I'm sorry to hear that, I really am. The best we can do is try be kind to ourselves and try focus on hobbies and other things that interest us while we wait for time to heal the heart.
    BellaMia
    I think I'm not okay and I'm using this site as an outlet because I'm on the verge of a break down. I'm trembling. What do I do. Idk, idk.
    BellaMia
    I'm having a panic attack. How am I going to survive on my own? I'm shaking and completely having a break down. God help please.
    kingsfan
    I'm so sorry. It's daunting enough without Tinnitus. A few years ago my engagement ended abruptly. We weren't married yet, but raised a child together and had finances and everything wrapped up together. It's hard but you can do this.

    Do you have family or friends to lean on through this?
    BellaMia
    @kingsfan Yes, I have family close by, thankfully. I hope I can afford my house on my own but we will see. I'm trying to get a game plan rolling.
    BellaMia
    Figuring out living arrangements. Who has the money or time for this. Devasted and scared isn't even a word for it. I'm petrified!
    Juliane
    So sorry to hear that
    kingsfan
    Don't make any arrangements until you speak with a lawyer. In the meantime, your spouse should stay with family or something if they are at fault for the divorce, and you two should make a written agreement on a child custody schedule if you have kids.
    BellaMia
    @kingsfan My daughter was his step daughter. So we have no children in common. He most definitely was at fault. I have to talk to him today about who goes here and who can afford what.
    BellaMia
    Well I guess my marriage is over. God protect me as I go through this difficult time.
    BrOKeN_1
    Not sure if this is a condolence or congratulations situation. But I'll pray for you regardless. Take care of yourself first and foremost.
    BellaMia
    The reason for divorce is shocking and devastating. Thank you. I'm scared.
    Barry098
    So sorry to hear...that is really rough on top of having bad tinnitus...
    BellaMia
    I wish I could run away from the life I have now, run away and never look back.
    View previous comments…
    BellaMia
    Painful is right. Switzerland looks pretty.
    4Grace
    Who knew this kind of suffering existed. I have a fire in me to live. To enjoy all of life's blessings as I once did for 50 years. Chronic pain and illness keeps us in an invisible jail. Although I think it's impossible we can't give up. I wish all of you peace of mind and relief from suffering.
    BellaMia
    @4Grace Amen! I wish you the best peace of mind and healing too.
    BellaMia
    Back to U of M Tuesday. I swear I'm there every 4 weeks with a new specialist. Lord
    Tryn2BHopeful
    On the plus side, you might have some of the first access to the Susan Shore device... assuming it works.
    BellaMia
    @Tryn2BHopeful They asked if I wanted to join their Tinnitus research program when I was there back in March. I said I'd think about it. This was when I first got T. We will see. I heard Shore moved to California but I'm not sure.
    HearingHell
    Yeah, Shore is working at University of California, Irvine now. Some people think this might mean it'll release in California first, but we'll have to wait and see.
    BellaMia
    So what's up with T anyway? We have this common condition that has been around forever and many, many people have it but still no treatment?
    View previous comments…
    Marshall
    Luckily we are in the most medically advanced, and researched time period for T so hopefully in our lifetime!
    CBT is one of the biggest reasons research got pushed, not knocking it bc habituation is real, but there are severe cases that are past the point of help.
    RunningMan
    Yeah, most people have mild tinnitus and can habituate so that it doesn't bother them much. I used to have that myself. So there are too few of us (as a %) with severe T that enough effort / money is put into finding a real treatment. TRT, white noise generators, and CBT aren't the answer. A real treatment that helps most people could be many years off. Hopefully Shore device helps many of us.
    BellaMia
    It's just so horrible guys! Great points though.
    BellaMia
    "you can't wait until life isn't hard anymore, before you decide to be happy" Wise words from a cancer patient who passed. This sank in.
    BellaMia
    Idk what that detector did but it reprogrammed my T. One day it's loud, the next at a 1-2. What's going on?!
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    Yeah, I it's intrusive even at its lowest broken static sound, but most intrusive when it's a single tone squeal. I guess part of the issue is those ratings don't mean a whole lot. Who knows what a 10 really is - it can always get worse. When I hear 1 or 2, I think of my mild tinnitus from over 2 years ago.
    BellaMia
    I rate 1-2 where I can barely hear it but still hear it. I rate 10 when it's intrusive and screams. I've been having 10 in the middle of the night ever since that little episode. It's causing a ton of stress. I'm sorry yours became intrusive. I know how that feels. Mine is a constant just below the intrusive line but still loud during the day.
    RunningMan
    Yeah, feels like a 9 or 10 now with the squealing. Only slept 4 hours, and that's with zolpidem. I would probably not rate my tinnitus below a 6 at its lowest these days. I would probably say 2 or 3 going back over 2 years ago. It wasn't much of an issue then.
    BellaMia
    Let's go Susan Shore ❤️ We are waiting ever so patiently.
    gameover
    Not really. It could not go slower. I am really appalled.
    Lurius
    Susan Snore xD
    BellaMia
    Stuff like this takes a long time. I'm sure it could be quicker but still hoping for this summer and if not then there's not much we can do.
    BellaMia
    And stop myself from taking that drug... I'd still be my normal self. Sigh.
    BellaMia
    The safest drug out there to see if it would help. Which led me to Tinnitus. If I could go back in time and trust my hesitation
    BellaMia
    I finally gave up and thought to myself..maybe it was. I didn't feel nervous, I felt like it was inflammation of the heart. Then I asked for
    Juliane
    Did you have a vaccine prior to tachycardia?
    BellaMia
    I've had it before COVID but it seemed that after getting COVID multiple times that it got 10x worse. It was to the point of heart failure symptoms. I was out of breath just taking a shower. I tried ignoring it but it was just beating way too hard.
    BellaMia
    I had it before the vaccine as well.
    BellaMia
    1yr ago today I was at U of M with tachycardia caused by something unknown. They said it was anxiety but it wasn't. A HR of 140 for 3 days.
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