Suicidal

[slc]

I'm just overwhelmed by this. I had ten days of relief, but now I'm back to hell.

Sadly, I now have a well-defined plan to end this. If this doesn't get a little bit better by the end of the year, I'm out. I don't want to leave, but enough is enough. I will try to fight for my family and girlfriend, but everybody has a limit. Sadly, I think that I have reached it.

Ten days of relief is pretty phenomenal in and of itself. I fully get knowing that there is a way to end things brings relief. I've been there.

It can be really tough depending upon how severe my tinnitus is (from 4 to 8). Still, I also attempt and can succeed at engaging in activities that I enjoy, even given the tinnitus: gardening, modern dance, swimming, biking...

In addition, I look for ways of calming stress, such as massage, a warm shower using oil on my scalp, soothing and nourishing foods, a craniosacral therapist, speaking to good, understanding friends, sound enrichment, warm milk with turmeric and cardamom before bed, etc.

 

[Tweaker]

Tinnitus can be debilitating. There are no limits to how loud it can become. That's why TRT sound therapy, which is a proven inadequate and hazardous method for treating tinnitus, should not be used. It is senseless to introduce additional sound or medications into an already damaged auditory system, especially for those with any sound sensitivity or unstable tinnitus. Any doctor or individual advocating for this approach has a grave responsibility.

This will be my last post. My auditory system's cries are growing louder and louder. There truly is no limit, which is why many have perished. A catastrophically damaged auditory system should be recognized as a cause of forced suicide, and more preventative measures should be implemented from the start! Proponents of TRT and medications should be restrained to save lives. Protocols should not be dictated by mild cases.

Goodbye. I wish everyone else the best of luck. I hope relief comes soon, and no one else experiences tinnitus as loud and painful as this. It is appalling to have to end this wonderful life due to a damaged auditory system alone. It is unbelievable, and yet, people attribute it to mental issues when it is clearly physical damage that drives individuals to end their lives. The ringing must be over 130 dB—just a guess. Either way, it surpasses the brain's capacity to compensate, with or without protection. It is just insane.

Feel free to share my story widely. We need to take this seriously. Not many cherish life as I have. I always believed nothing could compel me to end my life. I wish I had been aware of the risks of auditory damage earlier. Please, Mother Nature and good-hearted people, look after my animals—Beans, Toby, and Sagan. To the caring and empathetic, I love you all.

Stay with us, Travis. There is always hope. God bless your soul.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Being positive can improve your tinnitus and mental health. However, our reactions and thought patterns can exacerbate these issues. I firmly believe that our mindset can worsen the situation.

You are correct @Supersix, and this is one of the reasons I say tinnitus is an integral part of our mental and emotional well-being and cannot be separated from it. Stress can be a huge factor in affecting the way tinnitus and, to some extent, hyperacusis behave. Therefore, we must try to keep it under control. It is virtually impossible to eliminate all stress from our lives, but we can try to keep it low.

It is not always our fault, of course, because people that we associate with can put undue stress upon us. So we must work on ourselves because we can control this. Try deep relaxation exercises to calm the mind, body, and soul. Many videos on YouTube come with narration that can help someone with tinnitus do this. It takes 30 minutes of one's time 4 to 6 days a week to see positive results. If it's family or friends one has a problem with, try to find an amicable solution to work things out between you because the stress can eat you up inside. Don't let pride get the better by thinking you mustn't show weakness. On the contrary, you're showing that you are the bigger person. In the process, you'll be helping your mental and emotional well-being and hopefully not allowing tinnitus to become so all-consuming that you want to exit this mortal plane before your time.

Life is problematic, and we all have problems. A condition like tinnitus makes it increasingly more difficult. All we can do is try our best. If you can't solve the problem yourself, seek professional help.

Michael

 

[AnthonyMcDonald]

You are correct @Supersix, and this is one of the reasons I say tinnitus is an integral part of our mental and emotional well-being and cannot be separated from it. Stress can be a huge factor in affecting the way tinnitus and, to some extent, hyperacusis behave. Therefore, we must try to keep it under control. It is virtually impossible to eliminate all stress from our lives, but we can try to keep it low.

It is not always our fault, of course, because people that we associate with can put undue stress upon us. So we must work on ourselves because we can control this. Try deep relaxation exercises to calm the mind, body, and soul. Many videos on YouTube come with narration that can help someone with tinnitus do this. It takes 30 minutes of one's time 4 to 6 days a week to see positive results. If it's family or friends one has a problem with, try to find an amicable solution to work things out between you because the stress can eat you up inside. Don't let pride get the better by thinking you mustn't show weakness. On the contrary, you're showing that you are the bigger person. In the process, you'll be helping your mental and emotional well-being and hopefully not allowing tinnitus to become so all-consuming that you want to exit this mortal plane before your time.

Life is problematic, and we all have problems. A condition like tinnitus makes it increasingly more difficult. All we can do is try our best. If you can't solve the problem yourself, seek professional help.

Michael

Please leave this thread with your nonsense.

 

[Pinhead]

Tinnitus can be debilitating. There are no limits to how loud it can become. That's why TRT sound therapy, which is a proven inadequate and hazardous method for treating tinnitus, should not be used. It is senseless to introduce additional sound or medications into an already damaged auditory system, especially for those with any sound sensitivity or unstable tinnitus. Any doctor or individual advocating for this approach has a grave responsibility.

This will be my last post. My auditory system's cries are growing louder and louder. There truly is no limit, which is why many have perished. A catastrophically damaged auditory system should be recognized as a cause of forced suicide, and more preventative measures should be implemented from the start! Proponents of TRT and medications should be restrained to save lives. Protocols should not be dictated by mild cases.

Goodbye. I wish everyone else the best of luck. I hope relief comes soon, and no one else experiences tinnitus as loud and painful as this. It is appalling to have to end this wonderful life due to a damaged auditory system alone. It is unbelievable, and yet, people attribute it to mental issues when it is clearly physical damage that drives individuals to end their lives. The ringing must be over 130 dB—just a guess. Either way, it surpasses the brain's capacity to compensate, with or without protection. It is just insane.

Feel free to share my story widely. We need to take this seriously. Not many cherish life as I have. I always believed nothing could compel me to end my life. I wish I had been aware of the risks of auditory damage earlier. Please, Mother Nature and good-hearted people, look after my animals—Beans, Toby, and Sagan. To the caring and empathetic, I love you all.

Hi Travis. I've been following every one of your posts since you joined. I want you to know that I care. I'm not even sure if you're reading this, but just know that we understand. You are not alone.

 

[dipp]

Ten days of relief is pretty phenomenal in and of itself. I fully get knowing that there is a way to end things brings relief. I've been there.

It can be really tough depending upon how severe my tinnitus is (from 4 to 8). Still, I also attempt and can succeed at engaging in activities that I enjoy, even given the tinnitus: gardening, modern dance, swimming, biking...

In addition, I look for ways of calming stress, such as massage, a warm shower using oil on my scalp, soothing and nourishing foods, a craniosacral therapist, speaking to good, understanding friends, sound enrichment, warm milk with turmeric and cardamom before bed, etc.

The "relief" that I experienced is nothing close to silence. I still had many sounds and annoyances, but the new electric ultra high-pitched sound was much less severe. I adapted to having sounds all over my head. If I'm suicidal now is because this sound cuts through everything and is impossible to ignore and is awful. I'm still doing things I like, but I get back very little enjoyment from them. Therefore, I'm only here for my family.

Thanks for your advice. I don't know how, but I'll keep trying.

I don't want to get attention now, as @Travis Henry is on the limit. Travis, if you wish to return to the forums anytime, you're more than welcome to do so. I hope that you find some strength to keep going a little more.

 

[Varda]

I found a tinnitus suicide story that hasn't been mentioned here yet.

Karl Peter Stevenson: Suicide Father Was Tortured by Tinnitus

Mr Stevenson, who had a sign-building business, had been fit and healthy all his life, until January 2015 when an appointment with his GP revealed he had high blood pressure.

He was told to monitor it at home, and he did not see a doctor again until September 27 last year. He then prescribed tablets for high BP on October 11.

The tablets, he claimed, were a direct cause of his tinnitus, a condition that would cause him much anxiety and sleep deprivation, leading to a downward spiral.

Mrs Stevenson believes the elevated blood pressure readings may have been down to her late husband having white coat syndrome - a condition which makes a person's blood pressure higher when it is taken in a medical setting than it is when taken at home. This condition was not recorded in the doctor's notes, which has left the family puzzled.

A demonic doctor pushed a blood pressure medication on Karl and didn't bother to warn him that the medication could possibly cause tinnitus. He was denied Informed Consent. There's blood on the doctor's hands.

 

[Chess]

The tragic list goes on:

• Talented University of Portsmouth student took her own life in halls of residence

• Former Greene Sheriff larger than life

 

[JeffToob]

Please leave this thread with your nonsense.

I don't know the history. Why are you vehemently against his advice? Is it because of the language and tone (like a faux doctor), or does the advice go against your own experience?

I agree that our emotional state carries a hell of a lot of weight, but unfortunately, we will never be capable of willing ourselves into lower volumes—not that I've ever experienced.

 

[JeffToob]

I found a tinnitus suicide story that hasn't been mentioned here yet.

Karl Peter Stevenson: Suicide Father Was Tortured by Tinnitus

A demonic doctor pushed a blood pressure medication on Karl and didn't bother to warn him that the medication could possibly cause tinnitus. He was denied Informed Consent. There's blood on the doctor's hands.

I've read the article. Has anyone else timelined the events? Am I correct that he had tinnitus for only 23 days? He was prescribed blood pressure medication on October 11, 2016, and died on November 3, 2016.

He never followed through on going to the emergency room and never took anything to give him sleep. He just walked into a train instead.

Fuck. I think Insomnia did this poor guy in. I can't go that long without mental rest and escape—some reset. I can't say, but just one solid night of rest and he might have lived. If you're not sleeping, you're in a very dangerous place. Get sleep aids, start a tea and breathing routine, and walk until you can't. Nearly every suicide is severely sleep-deprived.

I'm at my worst when sleep is gone. I've tried it all. Do whatever you can to sleep. That's absolutely vital.

 

[kingsfan]

I found a tinnitus suicide story that hasn't been mentioned here yet.

Karl Peter Stevenson: Suicide Father Was Tortured by Tinnitus

A demonic doctor pushed a blood pressure medication on Karl and didn't bother to warn him that the medication could possibly cause tinnitus. He was denied Informed Consent. There's blood on the doctor's hands.

He apparently didn't even need the medication, either. I've been in the same situation. My blood pressure is always elevated at the doctor's office. After a single reading on my first visit, I had a cardiologist prescribe me blood pressure medication. Of course, I decided to buy an at-home monitor and checked my blood pressure twice a day for two weeks. I found it was always within the normal range, so I never picked up the medication.

 

[BlueMoon86]

The tragic list goes on:

• Talented University of Portsmouth student took her own life in halls of residence

• Former Greene Sheriff larger than life

A kid with her whole life ahead of her and a tough man brought to his knees. Two families broken. How many people would be here now if they could just turn down the fucking noise? Intricate surgery on a baby in the womb? No problem. Stopping the brain from producing a fake sound? No can do.

 

[RunningMan]

I've read the article. Has anyone else timelined the events? Am I correct that he had tinnitus for only 23 days? He was prescribed blood pressure medication on October 11, 2016, and died on November 3, 2016.

Sudden severe tinnitus can take someone down quickly. Those with mild tinnitus will never get it and try to blame it on something else.

 

[Chess]

Sudden severe tinnitus can take someone down quickly. Those with mild tinnitus will never get it and try to blame it on something else.

As someone with fluctuating tinnitus, I can speak for both perspectives. On mild days, I'm fine and have hope, but on loud days, I automatically feel despair and have thoughts of "escape". So I can clearly refute that it's not the way of dealing with tinnitus that's the problem and that I'm not depressed per se, but that, as with everything, it's the intensity that causes the suffering.

Recently, a friend broke off contact with me because she couldn't understand that I'm still "annoyed" about T and don't "decide"(!) to "enjoy" life instead.

 

[gameover]

I don't know the history. Why are you vehemently against his advice? Is it because of the language and tone (like a faux doctor), or does the advice go against your own experience?

I agree that our emotional state carries a hell of a lot of weight, but unfortunately, we will never be capable of willing ourselves into lower volumes—not that I've ever experienced.

Because his advice is dangerous.

 

[slc]

The "relief" that I experienced is nothing close to silence. I still had many sounds and annoyances, but the new electric ultra high-pitched sound was much less severe. I adapted to having sounds all over my head. If I'm suicidal now is because this sound cuts through everything and is impossible to ignore and is awful. I'm still doing things I like, but I get back very little enjoyment from them. Therefore, I'm only here for my family.

Thanks for your advice. I don't know how, but I'll keep trying.

I don't want to get attention now, as @Travis Henry is on the limit. Travis, if you wish to return to the forums anytime, you're more than welcome to do so. I hope that you find some strength to keep going a little more.

Good luck with it. I have had reasonable success using Ayurveda, an ancient Indian approach to medicine. There are Ayurvedic hospitals and medical schools in India, plus a fair amount of modern research studies showing benefits.

If you would like to read more about that approach, there is a thread here.

Yeah, when the sound gets really intense, it undermines just about everything. Have you tried any sound therapy, such as sleeping with an ocean sound machine or wearing so-called maskers that produce pink noise? When I'm having a really intense day, the maskers will take the edge off. It's not a great improvement, but it can make the difference between functioning or wanting to hide under the covers. However, some people do find that sound enrichment aggravates things. For me, it helps.

You might also read the threads on Clonazepam and Gabapentin. I use both but only at night. I'm not saying you should take those drugs, but the discussion may provide useful background information. The threads might link to research studies.

Best of luck to you. One thing I hang onto is that I've had ups and downs, really miserable months, and much better times where the tinnitus has been moderate or even mild. Hang in there. Here's hoping Susan Shore's research leads to available treatment ASAP.

 

[Norm23]

The worst thing about tinnitus caused by hearing loss is there is no hope of treatment.

 

[RunningMan]

The worst thing about tinnitus caused by hearing loss is there is no hope of treatment.

There's hope. Even Dr. Shore's device is supposed to help those with moderate hearing loss up to 50 dB through a range of the audio spectrum and 55 dB at tinnitus frequencies. And there's always hope from other treatments.

 

[bobvann]

He apparently didn't even need the medication, either. I've been in the same situation. My blood pressure is always elevated at the doctor's office. After a single reading on my first visit, I had a cardiologist prescribe me blood pressure medication. Of course, I decided to buy an at-home monitor and checked my blood pressure twice a day for two weeks. I found it was always within the normal range, so I never picked up the medication.

Same here. A female doctor filling in for my GP tried to push blood pressure medications on me as well.

The other crock of shit in regards to tinnitus is; "it's in your brain, not in your ears." If that's the case, why does my wife see my left ear turning red and purple on a spiky day, and an acupuncturist told me he could see my left ear stiffened when treating me on a spike day? Nothing has changed in 7 years.

 

[JeffToob]

Same here. A female doctor filling in for my GP tried to push blood pressure medications on me as well.

The other crock of shit in regards to tinnitus is; "it's in your brain, not in your ears." If that's the case, why does my wife see my left ear turning red and purple on a spiky day, and an acupuncturist told me he could see my left ear stiffened when treating me on a spike day? Nothing has changed in 7 years.

'A female doctor'. 'Crock of shit'.

This thread has a lot of angry men. Are there women with tinnitus just as bitter for their situation? I'm positive there are women with just as bad, if not worse, catastrophic tinnitus, but I never read them attacking others or needing to point out who's male or female.

 

[BlueMoon86]

'A female doctor'. 'Crock of shit'.

This thread has a lot of angry men. Are there women with tinnitus just as bitter for their situation? I'm positive there are women with just as bad, if not worse, catastrophic tinnitus, but I never read them attacking others or needing to point out who's male or female.

I'm a woman who is very bitter about her situation with hearing loss and catastrophic tinnitus.

I doubt @bobvann harbors any serious misogyny. I have had male doctors dismiss me, try and push SSRI and propranolol, tell me to "just listen to white noise," etc. I don't dislike men because they didn't listen, although I have ranted elsewhere, too. Not many people get it.

The worst thing about tinnitus caused by hearing loss is there is no hope of treatment.

As someone who has also gone through sudden hearing loss, I don't think we are in such a different situation from other tinnitus sufferers regarding cures or treatments. It does suck to be half deaf on top of this din, but it also must suck to have no explanation as to why. Hearing loss treatments also get more attention and funding than just tinnitus, and I'm not sure restoration of hearing would even be enough. I believe after a certain point, tinnitus changes your brain. I have spoken to people who have had complete recovery from SSHL, some of them within weeks, yet the tinnitus persists.

 

[bobvann]

'A female doctor'. 'Crock of shit'.

This thread has a lot of angry men. Are there women with tinnitus just as bitter for their situation? I'm positive there are women with just as bad, if not worse, catastrophic tinnitus, but I never read them attacking others or needing to point out who's male or female.

Where did I say women did not suffer just as badly? I was referring to the female doctor trying to pressure me into taking medications by creating doom-and-gloom scenarios & very aggressively so.

There may be a chicken-and-egg scenario when it comes to blood pressure and tinnitus. Is it the spiking tinnitus that raises blood pressure, or is it the high blood pressure that spikes tinnitus?

 

[JeffToob]

Where did I say women did not suffer just as badly? I was referring to the female doctor trying to pressure me into taking medications by creating doom-and-gloom scenarios & very aggressively so.

There may be a chicken-and-egg scenario when it comes to blood pressure and tinnitus. Is it the spiking tinnitus that raises blood pressure, or is it the high blood pressure that spikes tinnitus?

Thank you for replying. I didn't mean you weren't aware women have it just as bad.

Why do you think it's not in the brain? Research supports it.

You said one thing that might be similar to me. Maybe four years before tinnitus, I had several episodes of my ears turning bright red, painful, and hot to touch. I never had another episode until a week before my first tone. I have no idea if there's a connection.

I'm a woman who is very bitter about her situation with hearing loss and catastrophic tinnitus.

I doubt @bobvann harbors any serious misogyny. I have had male doctors dismiss me, try and push SSRI and propranolol, tell me to "just listen to white noise," etc. I don't dislike men because they didn't listen, although I have ranted elsewhere, too. Not many people get it.

As someone who has also gone through sudden hearing loss, I don't think we are in such a different situation from other tinnitus sufferers regarding cures or treatments. It does suck to be half deaf on top of this din, but it also must suck to have no explanation as to why. Hearing loss treatments also get more attention and funding than just tinnitus, and I'm not sure restoration of hearing would even be enough. I believe after a certain point, tinnitus changes your brain. I have spoken to people who have had complete recovery from SSHL, some of them within weeks, yet the tinnitus persists.

I get being bitter! My post said I see many men (in all threads) blaming and attacking others. I can't recall seeing one catastrophic woman doing that. Kudos to you for that!

 

[JimmyStrong]

Euthanasia needs to be legal. My tinnitus has to be somewhere around 135 dB. I get no sleep.

All noise is damaging.

That is so horrifying to hear. The idea of death is so scary but when people suffer the way they do, it has me thinking death might be a mercy.

Sudden severe tinnitus can take someone down quickly. Those with mild tinnitus will never get it and try to blame it on something else.

I don't know if I am still mild or moderate, but I really hope it never gets severe... I don't want to traumatize my family.

 

[Travis Henry]

Tinnitus has no limit. All sounds can become damaging. That is why some die from these afflictions. My head is filled with noise. I get no sleep. All sounds worsen the ringing. It's a physical feeling. Too many tones to count in my brain.

This isn't good. I have no desire to die. I have a healthy enough mind to never die by my own hands... but this has me scared. This fantastic life... lost. One lightning strike after another brought me down. I was given no understanding. Investing trust in humans was a bad, bad mistake. My ringing is well over 100 dB. There is no hope left. I should have retired to quiet right away in January 2022.

 

[Chess]

Tinnitus has no limit. All sounds can become damaging. That is why some die from these afflictions. My head is filled with noise. I get no sleep. All sounds worsen the ringing. It's a physical feeling. Too many tones to count in my brain.

This isn't good. I have no desire to die. I have a healthy enough mind to never die by my own hands... but this has me scared. This fantastic life... lost. One lightning strike after another brought me down. I was given no understanding. Investing trust in humans was a bad, bad mistake. My ringing is well over 100 dB. There is no hope left. I should have retired to quiet right away in January 2022.

It's nice to hear from you again. Let's fight this battle together with this strong community here.

 

[Travis Henry]

It's nice to hear from you again. Let's fight this battle together with this strong community here.

I'm past anyone's limit. No matter how strong one is, tinnitus can kill you. It's nothing mental. It's pure physical torture.

Tinnitus has no limit. No one seems to understand what those words mean. That means death if you don't contain the damage. That's why time, quiet, and no medications should be the number 1 treatment for auditory damage.

 

[BB23]

I get no sleep.

Do you get sleepy at all or are you wired awake all the time? Do you have headaches? How do you stay sane with no sleep at all, never mind the noise?

 

[Mattv]

I'm past anyone's limit. No matter how strong one is, tinnitus can kill you. It's nothing mental. It's pure physical torture.

Tinnitus has no limit. No one seems to understand what those words mean. That means death if you don't contain the damage. That's why time, quiet, and no medications should be the number 1 treatment for auditory damage.

Is there any way you can reduce the stress in your life? I have been working very hard on this aspect of my life since I started to see the link between stress and my tinnitus distress. I'm almost nine years into this, and when I get away from stressors in my life for extended periods, I have started to have some limited periods of quiet. But it's hard to do; I know.

 

[BB23]

Is there any way you can reduce the stress in your life? I have been working very hard on this aspect of my life since I started to see the link between stress and my tinnitus distress. I'm almost nine years into this, and when I get away from stressors in my life for extended periods, I have started to have some limited periods of quiet. But it's hard to do; I know.

Even @Travis Henry's own voice spikes his tinnitus, and the cars passing outside hurt his ears. He can't even talk with an average volume anymore due to this, and he can't leave his house. I don't think managing his stress levels will do much for this kind of damage, even if he can in lieu of his circumstances...