Suicidal

They are definitely different. Google it. Lol. I have no fear. Anxiety is a response to stimuli that is not emotional and is automatic when thoughts can be on something completely different.

 

An interesting point, but what is the alternative?

 

Suicide. Tinnitus can be hell on earth.

 

I had absolutely no sleep last night. The tinnitus was too blaring to get past. My third worsening in 6 months? My autistic, noise-repulsed brain is not built to cope with this. Mirtazapine has worked for a few weeks but not any longer, so I will stop taking it. What's the point of keeping it in my system? I'm pretty cold and unemotional in my suicidal ideation now. Everyone around me cries, but I don't. They don't seem to see the value in cutting this misery off now before it's all they remember about me.

 

With respect, most of us at Tinnitus Talk know that. I am presently helping to counsel someone with suicidal thoughts because her tinnitus and hyperacusis are so severe. She reached out to me through sheer desperation. I have encouraged her also to seek help from the health professionals mentioned in this thread.

Tinnitus can be a truly devastating condition when severe. Trust me, for I have been there.

Michael

 

There isn't one. That's the point, hence why there is a forum full of suicidal people.

I did Google it. Feelings of fear, dread, and uneasiness may occur as a reaction to stress. An anxious person may sweat, feel restless and tense, and have a rapid heartbeat. Just by saying you put in earplugs to avoid worsening is literal fear. LOL.

 

You mentioned that the higher dose of Mirtazapine hurt your sleep. What did you reduce it to now that it's still not working? I had some nights of no sleep in my early months of severe tinnitus. It's better now, but still not good, despite trying different sleep medications (I haven't tried Mirtazapine).

 

I am very sorry for your suffering; I have suffered too. This line of thinking is very dangerous. There are plenty of good doctors and health practitioners out there.

 

Putting in earplugs isn't fear any more than purchasing homeowner's insurance is fear. It's just taking intelligent precautions. And neither of those things gives me fear or anxiety. LOL.

 

Sadly, I have to agree with you.

 

I didn't need to say fear OR anxiety. They're the same thing. LOL.

 

I asked the AI engine for you, "Are fear and anxiety the same thing?" The AI responded:

You learned something today. LOL.

 

Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or FEAR, that can be mild or severe. Everyone has feelings of anxiety at some point in their life. For example, you may feel worried and anxious about sitting an exam or having a medical test or a job.

I've learned that you will do anything not to admit when you're wrong. I've known this for some time. Lol.

 

Sort of. I mean, I don't think anyone rational who is living in Minnesota is going to buy insurance to protect from hurricanes. Which means some fears are rational and some are not. The use of earplugs can (and should) be a reasonable precaution and, at other times, can be an irrational fear response.

 

There are always exceptions on the fringes that will fear something or have anxiety about something that the vast majority don't. As one example, some people actually have a fear of being in public, even if they don't have any of the hearing-related issues discussed on Tinnitus Talk. Still, I've never known anyone like that. In addition to earplugs, I wear my biking helmet when I go biking, but not because I'm fearful or anxious about it. It's just a standard precaution along with earplugs.

 

The topics of fears, anxiety, and whether or not to use earplugs are all subjective. We are all different, and what may help some may not help others. Do what works for you, and let others do what may help them.

 

I'm starting to think @Michael Leigh doesn't read the titles of the threads before he comments.

Wow, @fishbone is still around! I remember reading your posts when my hell started in 2021.

 

Of course. The discussion about fear vs. anxiety started when @Utdmad89 responded to my post when I said I didn't have any fear of tinnitus but still had an automatic anxiety response when focused on something different. He didn't understand they were not the same thing, even after reading the artificial intelligence explanation. Earplugs only came into the discussion because he thinks you are fearful if you wear earplugs to prevent worsening and gave that as an example of fear. I suppose he frightens easily, so he assumes the same of others.

 

Euthanasia needs to be legal. My tinnitus has to be somewhere around 135 dB. I get no sleep.

All noise is damaging.

 

This is insane.

 

Since seeing your posts on here, I had the impression you're still in shock you worsened. You repeat the same exact thing over and over and over in all threads. You seem stuck and unable to move on. You comment in new sufferers' threads how they - like you - will only get worse.

Of course, you have no ability to speak about anyone but yourself.

I always think this stems from your fear (or anger?) over what happened to you. After 20 mild years it got worse and you voice that fear here ALL THE TIME. Maybe work on accepting what happened to you instead of trying to throw that fear onto other people. Many people never get worse. Leave your misery to yourself.

 

Please give me an example and explain in full instead of writing just one line.

Some people just make one, two or three line comments which I don't think is adequate or helpful. I prefer to express myself in full, especially when it's a subject that interests me. I may tend to go slightly off course at times but this is not deliberate. I am just trying to help people that visit Tinnitus Talk for advice.

Michael

 

I'm just prodding you. The thread is about suicide, and it's therefore implicit that the "other option" would be just that - suicide.

I don't always agree with your advice, but I'm not antagonistic to your desire to help others as much as possible.

 

Sorry to hear about your misunderstanding. Based on your post, I assume you haven't been reading any of my posts, or you would know that you could not be more wrong. My posts are all out there for anyone to see, and I speak on various things, including detailed information on Dr. Shore's device. When discussing tinnitus with someone new to suffering, I often post that they should protect their ears around noise to PREVENT worsening. I will suggest that worsenings could be temporary spikes. So, that's the exact opposite of what you are implying. I suggest you go back and read without trying to cherry-pick a particular post that you think fits your narrative.

I accept what happened to me, getting severe tinnitus along with hearing loss, reactivity, hyperacusis, TTTS, pain, insomnia, and anxiety. There's no way not to accept it. It is what it is. But it doesn't cause me any fear at all, and I've never felt or stated that at any point that I can recall. I don't even have a psychiatrist. The only medication I take daily is nighttime mild sleeping medication, which usually includes only 1/8th of a Zolpidem pill.

 

@JeffToob is spot on with his post and isn't the only one who has noticed how scared you are and your need for everyone else to feel the same.

What kind of arsehole goes out of his way to try and scare suicidal people just to feel he is right, or uses artificial intelligence to make Dr. Susan Shore's device numbers look less successful? WTF is wrong with you? Telling every new member they will get worse because your mild tinnitus got worse 20 years later.

If I scared easily, I'd be long dead. You wouldn't be able to handle a day of what I've got going on. Count yourself lucky you don't have noxacusis or visual snow syndrome.

 

Guys, there's no need for this. Please keep as calm as you can. I know we are facing difficult situations, but this doesn't help. I wish the best to all of you.

 

I am enduring unimaginable suffering. I can’t believe it. My previous posts were meant to warn others that overprotecting your ears is harmless. Avoiding medications and staying in quiet environments is the best way to prevent severe tinnitus, hyperacusis, and noxacusis. I still have many dreams and a lot of love to offer. Yet, for over two years since January 2022, my condition has worsened daily, and I’ve been confined to my home since April 2022. There are reports suggesting the COVID-19 vaccine might affect the jaw, TMJ, and neck, which could be significant factors for those who developed tinnitus post-vaccination.

I am overwhelmed. I want to complete the renovation of the “ghetto fabulous” bus I purchased in 2015. Unfortunately, I let relationships deter me from pursuing my dream of homesteading. I had everything a man could want, but I lost it all due to being trauma-bonded to a narcissistic family that abused me throughout my life. They made me feel worthless, pushing me to overexercise, work excessively, drink heavily, and seek approval from unappreciative parents. I was never truly free.

If I had gone no contact with my family back in 2014, when my brother first told me to kill myself and my parents did nothing to stop him, I would have avoided so much pain. They were never deserving of my time, but I didn’t understand the concepts of narcissism and gaslighting until 2015, which is when I began to distance myself. Despite my efforts, my mother’s guilt-laden care packages and cards pulled me back in.

I believe there’s a significant link between being a highly sensitive person and suffering from these severe afflictions. Our heightened sensitivity and exposure to narcissistic abuse make us vulnerable. I feel like narcissists outnumber kind-hearted people by a significant margin, perhaps because I come from a family where I was the only one striving to treat others well.

By 2018, I had managed to break free from my family, clear my debts, and live independently—until my mother reappeared in 2021, pressuring me to get the COVID-19 vaccine and reconnect with my father. Soon after, I developed tinnitus and neck pain. Despite the worsening of my symptoms, my girlfriend and even medical professionals downplayed my suffering, advising against the protection and treatments I needed.

My life spiraled downward after an incident in a quiet cabin in Colorado made my tinnitus unbearable. Since then, every attempt to seek help has met with dismissive responses, pushing me further into isolation. Now, I’ve realized that trusting my family has been detrimental, and I’m currently finding solace at a friend’s property.

In conclusion, my journey through a life overshadowed by stress and abuse has led to severe health afflictions. I share this story not just as a cautionary tale but as a heartfelt appeal for understanding and empathy towards those suffering from catastrophic tinnitus and hyperacusis. Recommendations for managing these conditions should prioritize time, quiet, and avoidance of medications. I wish my circumstances were different and that I could’ve pursued the life I dreamed of, free from the influence of toxic relationships.

 

Tinnitus can be debilitating. There are no limits to how loud it can become. That’s why TRT sound therapy, which is a proven inadequate and hazardous method for treating tinnitus, should not be used. It is senseless to introduce additional sound or medications into an already damaged auditory system, especially for those with any sound sensitivity or unstable tinnitus. Any doctor or individual advocating for this approach has a grave responsibility.

This will be my last post. My auditory system’s cries are growing louder and louder. There truly is no limit, which is why many have perished. A catastrophically damaged auditory system should be recognized as a cause of forced suicide, and more preventative measures should be implemented from the start! Proponents of TRT and medications should be restrained to save lives. Protocols should not be dictated by mild cases.

Goodbye. I wish everyone else the best of luck. I hope relief comes soon, and no one else experiences tinnitus as loud and painful as this. It is appalling to have to end this wonderful life due to a damaged auditory system alone. It is unbelievable, and yet, people attribute it to mental issues when it is clearly physical damage that drives individuals to end their lives. The ringing must be over 130 dB—just a guess. Either way, it surpasses the brain’s capacity to compensate, with or without protection. It is just insane.

Feel free to share my story widely. We need to take this seriously. Not many cherish life as I have. I always believed nothing could compel me to end my life. I wish I had been aware of the risks of auditory damage earlier. Please, Mother Nature and good-hearted people, look after my animals—Beans, Toby, and Sagan. To the caring and empathetic, I love you all.

 

I don't know you, but you are obviously a person who feels deeply in a world that seems to have lost its depth and ability to distinguish what matters from mere spectacle. You are suffering, and the universe doesn't care. But I do, and people on here do. I don't know you, but if you do this, I will mourn you. You have suffered through this thing for this long. I hope I'm not too late in asking this, which may seem cruel and impossible, but please endure a bit longer. I hope I get the opportunity to get to know you.

CB

 

Being positive can improve your tinnitus and mental health. However, our reactions and thought patterns can exacerbate these issues. I firmly believe that our mindset can worsen the situation.