Tryn2BHopeful

I get the visual. The simple pleasures. If I got back to silence, I could do that for one week 24/7. Honest to God. Sounds beautiful. I guess, appreciate what we can still do with our new friend. :)

I know. I'm sorry.

We think alike. Some 1000 days to go until BHV-7000 is out. I have a days counter app counting down the days.

@Tryn2BHopeful I understand all too well. I am so sorry. Keep holding on. We're right here with you.

@Tryn2BHopeful - that’s the problem. Our new normal is not conducive with a wife that does not have a chronic illness. They would have to live as if they had T when you spend time together. They need to compromise a lot when spending time with us. New normal is for the entire family. Difference is we have no choice.

Every day when I wake up and every night going to bed, I ask myself "How can this be my life?" I still don't get it. Almost one year in, and trauma is as fresh as when this hell began

❤️

I also long for rest... brain, mind, mental.. rest... health... ease... calm... for now trying to find distractions, and living healthy, trying to go easy...

I feel this my friend, I really do..

And most people will never be faced with such horrible regrets. I have lost my sympathy for people with no real problems. I simply no longer care.

I concur, bleh.

Feel like it’s been so much longer.

Little things @Tryn2BHopeful Remember those. These moments are important with this process imo - as a reminder that, hey, things can be better. If only for a while. Small "wins" are important. You could even write them down in a journal, and look back on days that you struggle more.

Sucks. ❤️

Oh I noticed it before...it just annoys me more now

I have a leaf blower that clocks in a 57db. Amazingly quiet at 190mph. Has a sound insulated inside

Prior to T I went full electric for all lawn equipment. Blower, trimmer, lawnmower. Now even the electric is too loud for me. Go figure.

No idea, I would be Googling it just like you.

Most drugs have a risk of ototoxity. Trazadone is no exception. Regardless I personally take Trazadone 50mg along with 2mg melatonin 3 to 4 times a week to help me.sleep through the day. I have not personally experienced a significant spike or increase in perception due to that drug. But admittedly results may vary.

You will get there @Tryn2BHopeful

@MindOverMatter just wanted to thank you for many of your positive post for myself and others. While my future may be uncertain these kinds of post keep me looking forward and not back.

Thanks for your kind words @Tryn2BHopeful We are all in this together - one way or another. Its challenging to live this every day, but I try not to fight it. Personally Ive accepted the situation, and I adapt as best possible, and find joy in everyday life. Nothing is certain, as you say, but I choose to look forward. This doesn't mean some days are dimmed, but I do my best not to stay too long in "dark places"

@Tryn2BHopeful Funny we both suggested the same thing. Your comments hadn't loaded when I read the post. Great Minds!! Lol

Do you have to pay for the Oto app for the CBT?

Yes, there is a 7 day trial and 10$ a month afterwards

The one thing I learned when seeing 15 plus consultants this year, NHS and Private, is that NOONE wants to talk. Test and result is all anyone wants to do. Churn and burn with no time for chit chat.

@Tryn2BHopeful probably for the best. My audiologist didn't have the equipment for extended high freq audiograms, so I went to another audiologist who did.

I was doing really well with my tinnitus, but was just curious. Worst thing I could have done. They did more than what I had asked for, and being new to this at the time, didn't know any better.

@kingsfan If I may ask, which part of the "Extended" testing caused your worsening?

@Tryn2BHopeful Acoustic reflex test

I do the same even though it doesn't seem to help much

@SharonBell - sound therapy all the time. Me too. Noise traumas are unavoidable if you try and live. It’s so loud I can’t believe it. It never improves only worsens.

Sure is a bitch ain't it...

I never realized how loud the grocery store was until this. I go now without earplugs and I am ok. It took a few trips to get used to it.

@Tryn2BHopeful I second that notion.

I guess I need to start by not blaming myself. I keep trying to shift that thought but keep coming back to it. I am carrying a great amount of guilt for what this has done to my family and myself. While I know that I was just "doing what my doctor thought was best" for what was going on at the time. I would of never second guessed it until now.

@Tryn2BHopeful I second that.

Reactive T is hard. It’s much different. I wonder, how does T become reactive vs stable. For me personally I think it’s a physically damaged ear that makes mine reactive.

I have had the war ears. Sometimes they burn. I attribute to anxiety. My ear plugs also cause that sensation. It should go away.

I got that the other day too but only in one ear.

I renovated my home 2x. Everything I look at reminds me of a better time. Yes, never a bad time to move on. On and forward if you can. Don’t look back.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Baby steps is key. Keep trying to watch TV with it, relax with it. Try for 15 mins one day, then 30, etc. you'll get there, keep going.
No one said this was easy but you got this.

I feel the same. Mine is nonstop every day. I don’t get a break. I can’t do like I use to. Can’t even go to my daughter’s school for the awards ceremony. Can’t wear earplugs or headphones for that long. I can wear for a few if I have to but not that long. I’m not happy either, life does suck, I dread going to bed and I dread getting up.

@4Grace thanks for asking. It's a roller coaster of emotion. Overall it hasn't changed much that I can tell. Some days are worse than others but it goes back and forth. I can manage to live but it's bare minimum. I have no aspirations any longer.

If it has not changed I really feel you have some hope for the future. I understand about the aspirations. :(

Yeah I have been referee aswell because my tinnitus isn’t a constant tone. Even tho I’m positive it’s noise induced.

Keep fighting, man. I do - between periods when I want to give up. And I honestly believe that drug induced T has better chances of going away. At least your cochleas should be fine! Mine are certifiably fucked.

@gameover Yeah I suppose, of course I want to be sure about that but getting anywhere with the healthcare system is a chore. I barely have the patience for it anymore.

It's a hard condition but it doesn't define you or your life. You will get to a point that you'll be okay if it doesn't go away. It's a common condition that half of the world found a way to coexist with it and so will you.

CBT "practitioners" are a fucking joke. Most of them are professional failures, so inept of doing anything useful, and they have the nerve to "help" people. What a scam.

@Tryn2BHopeful I'm starting therapy on Friday via the OTO App. Hope I find it useful.

@gameover fortunately the sessions were free through my company, but it was still useless.

@GG_Ear There are some good things in the app, there really are. Is it going to fix your tinnitus no. Can it help you build some coping techniques - yes. IMHO it was more helpful than the actual therapist I saw, but mileage may vary on that one. The voice of the woman on there is super soothing though.

I guess I have to go prove to them that I have T. Because I would make up such a horrible condition for myself.

Ugh and no appointments until January. I mean wtf... go in... yes you have T. Here is a referral, why delay me with something you can't help anyway. God I despise doctors. They sent me down this road with medicine and now continue to make my life more hell than it already is.

Why does trying to help my condition have to be made so damn hard by the people who should be helping me. What has happened to this world

Of course I did not imply the T takes responsibility off an unsupportive (or worse) spouse. It is a shitty life test not only for the person suffering from it, as well as the close ones. Some people pass the test, some fail. I am hanging in, but I feel like I am failing. My wife more than rose to the occasion (and do hope she can endure). Many so-called friends - total fail.

@gameover That is unfortunately all true. Not a test any of us wanted to put ourselves or loved ones through, but that's how life works I guess. I have had various health issues since January (all resolved) that finally topped off with T. I imagine they are just as tired as I am. Seems like my 10 year old daughter is the only one that has any empathy. Oddly she seems to get it when nobody else does.

@Tryn2BHopeful I'm really sorry to hear this. My husband is very supportive and listens everytime I'd talk about it. Even if I repeat myself he still listens like it's the first time I told him. Marriage is for better or worse and they should be supportive each and every time.

@TindalosKeeper yeah... a lifetime of regret for taking 2 pills meant to help me...not much we can do now. I gotta let it go but it's not easy.

You're valid to feel the way you do!

@TindalosKeeper You said it perfectly! None of us deserve this crap. It's not like we are monsters! We did normal everyday stuff that people do ALL the time without second thought. I truly hate how unfair this condition is!

@4Grace You do have to keep living and pushing through. I started out with nox. The only way to heal that is with constant exposure but safely do it. All nox is, is the brain saying this noise hurts and the only way to undo that is reminding the brain that it's a safe noise.

@Mo8409 - hello, thank you for taking the time. Nice to see some people doing better. It’s an actual physical pain. I am not afraid of noise and that’s the problem. I should have been. My ears are beyond destroyed. Muffled sound. The whistle and cup drop in sink was too much. I began with what you are talking about months ago. I changed my perception about it.

@Mo8409 - it helped. When I heard a noise I said that wont hurt you. I used sound therapy to cope. Now sound therapy hurts. I did keep living. The way I got T was like no other. I’d bet my life on it. Those people that hurt with the wind blowing. I now understand it.

Feeling same, just survival with no end. I miss being able to relax after the day and sleep peacefully at night.

I wonder how could evolution allow such a condition. It's just neural signals, and the brain is best at adaptation, so why such a horrible malfunction?

It is possible to receive donor hearts and kidneys... Why not donor ears?

@Juliane I thought that same thing the other day... if they could would it even work...