Tryn2BHopeful

Tryn2BHopeful

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  • Tryn2BHopeful
    Ugh, I want to give up, but I know I cant. I have to keep going not matter what hell I am experiencing. Ears feel warm inside, a first...
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    4Grace
    Reactive T is hard. It's much different. I wonder, how does T become reactive vs stable. For me personally I think it's a physically damaged ear that makes mine reactive.
    4Grace
    I have had the war ears. Sometimes they burn. I attribute to anxiety. My ear plugs also cause that sensation. It should go away.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    I got that the other day too but only in one ear.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I look around at things I was working on in my house. Stuck in time from when this started. Time to get moving I guess.
    4Grace
    I renovated my home 2x. Everything I look at reminds me of a better time. Yes, never a bad time to move on. On and forward if you can. Don't look back.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    YOU CAN DO IT!
    Tryn2BHopeful
    My life is a joke...Fricken same thing every day. Keeping needlessly busy to ignore the sound. Can't concentrate, not happy, it sucks.
    Mo8409
    Baby steps is key. Keep trying to watch TV with it, relax with it. Try for 15 mins one day, then 30, etc. you'll get there, keep going.
    No one said this was easy but you got this.
    SharonBell
    I feel the same. Mine is nonstop every day. I don't get a break. I can't do like I use to. Can't even go to my daughter's school for the awards ceremony. Can't wear earplugs or headphones for that long. I can wear for a few if I have to but not that long. I'm not happy either, life does suck, I dread going to bed and I dread getting up.
    4Grace
    Hello, I know I have been a poor inspiration to say the least. Spamming like crazy. How have you been doing? I think if your not getting worse it can be done. If it gives you room to live it can be done.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @4Grace thanks for asking. It's a roller coaster of emotion. Overall it hasn't changed much that I can tell. Some days are worse than others but it goes back and forth. I can manage to live but it's bare minimum. I have no aspirations any longer.
    4Grace
    If it has not changed I really feel you have some hope for the future. I understand about the aspirations. :(
    Tryn2BHopeful
    So I got my referral to a better audiologist but they want to send me to neurology as well for imaging. Such horror stories on MRI's on here
    K
    Yeah I have been referee aswell because my tinnitus isn't a constant tone. Even tho I'm positive it's noise induced.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I need something positive to put in this box.
    View previous comments…
    gameover
    Keep fighting, man. I do - between periods when I want to give up. And I honestly believe that drug induced T has better chances of going away. At least your cochleas should be fine! Mine are certifiably fucked.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @gameover Yeah I suppose, of course I want to be sure about that but getting anywhere with the healthcare system is a chore. I barely have the patience for it anymore.
    Mo8409
    It's a hard condition but it doesn't define you or your life. You will get to a point that you'll be okay if it doesn't go away. It's a common condition that half of the world found a way to coexist with it and so will you.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    An update to CBT. The therapist I went to was worthless. Accomplished nothing the OTO app couldn't of accomplished. Yet another fail.
    gameover
    CBT "practitioners" are a fucking joke. Most of them are professional failures, so inept of doing anything useful, and they have the nerve to "help" people. What a scam.
    GG_Ear
    @Tryn2BHopeful I'm starting therapy on Friday via the OTO App. Hope I find it useful.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @gameover fortunately the sessions were free through my company, but it was still useless.

    @GG_Ear There are some good things in the app, there really are. Is it going to fix your tinnitus no. Can it help you build some coping techniques - yes. IMHO it was more helpful than the actual therapist I saw, but mileage may vary on that one. The voice of the woman on there is super soothing though.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Tried to reach out to some other places to help with T, but all require a referral. Now I have to fight with my PCP to get a referral.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I guess I have to go prove to them that I have T. Because I would make up such a horrible condition for myself.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Ugh and no appointments until January. I mean wtf... go in... yes you have T. Here is a referral, why delay me with something you can't help anyway. God I despise doctors. They sent me down this road with medicine and now continue to make my life more hell than it already is.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Why does trying to help my condition have to be made so damn hard by the people who should be helping me. What has happened to this world
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Tried to talk to my wife about T, having a bad week. Met with disgust and disinterest. Why does it seem like the ones we love don't care?
    View previous comments…
    gameover
    Of course I did not imply the T takes responsibility off an unsupportive (or worse) spouse. It is a shitty life test not only for the person suffering from it, as well as the close ones. Some people pass the test, some fail. I am hanging in, but I feel like I am failing. My wife more than rose to the occasion (and do hope she can endure). Many so-called friends - total fail.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @gameover That is unfortunately all true. Not a test any of us wanted to put ourselves or loved ones through, but that's how life works I guess. I have had various health issues since January (all resolved) that finally topped off with T. I imagine they are just as tired as I am. Seems like my 10 year old daughter is the only one that has any empathy. Oddly she seems to get it when nobody else does.
    Mo8409
    @Tryn2BHopeful I'm really sorry to hear this. My husband is very supportive and listens everytime I'd talk about it. Even if I repeat myself he still listens like it's the first time I told him. Marriage is for better or worse and they should be supportive each and every time.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Sorry for spamming... just one of those days. I hope everyone is doing well.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I dont know how I am going to survive this. I dont want to die, but if death came for me would I fight it? I dont know and that scares me.
    View previous comments…
    Mo8409
    @4Grace You do have to keep living and pushing through. I started out with nox. The only way to heal that is with constant exposure but safely do it. All nox is, is the brain saying this noise hurts and the only way to undo that is reminding the brain that it's a safe noise.
    4Grace
    @Mo8409 - hello, thank you for taking the time. Nice to see some people doing better. It's an actual physical pain. I am not afraid of noise and that's the problem. I should have been. My ears are beyond destroyed. Muffled sound. The whistle and cup drop in sink was too much. I began with what you are talking about months ago. I changed my perception about it.
    4Grace
    @Mo8409 - it helped. When I heard a noise I said that wont hurt you. I used sound therapy to cope. Now sound therapy hurts. I did keep living. The way I got T was like no other. I'd bet my life on it. Those people that hurt with the wind blowing. I now understand it.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Still cant believe this is my life now. I feel like I live to survive the day, go to bed just to do it all over again. I miss being happy.
    View previous comments…
    SilverFox
    Feeling same, just survival with no end. I miss being able to relax after the day and sleep peacefully at night.

    I wonder how could evolution allow such a condition. It's just neural signals, and the brain is best at adaptation, so why such a horrible malfunction?
    Juliane
    It is possible to receive donor hearts and kidneys... Why not donor ears?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Juliane I thought that same thing the other day... if they could would it even work...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Nothing like piercing high T on a quiet Sunday morning....
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Mo8409 Honesty I think I am accepting my fate and doing more and more normal things. I still don't like it, and it still causes me stress here and there.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I obviously made the mistake of saying I was accepting it better... T has a cruel way of reminding you who is in control.
    Mo8409
    @Tryn2BHopeful Remember T only has as much control as you give it. You will have shit days and good days! Stay busy on the bad. You will get through this. It's a mental game.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    There is no fighting T. There is only accepting what's happening to you and dealing with it the best you can. That is somehow harder...
    Juliane
    T is for the toughest people on earth. That's how it feels. Not that I feel tough, not at all, but I feel it is forcing me to be.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    So I wonder... my T is a little screechy and I have been eating a bunch of Tic Tacs today... I noticed they have Magnesium Stearate in them!
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Therapy is going ok... I guess... but I get upset every time she refers to my T as just "annoying"... Bratty kids are annoying, T is evil.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I should add, she said my personality wouldnt be able to do it. I told her I dont have a choice.
    gameover
    My wife tells me "my brain will get used to it". Somehow I don't believe her. My personality stems from my perfectionist brain. Sadly, there is a choice, just not a good one.
    4Grace
    I feel for you. I really do… The compassion is zero because they keep forgetting the full scope of our problem. So sad for us. Based on your posts I honestly feel like you are the type that can do it. Even if she did not have faith that you can do it, she should have lied. Just my opinion. I am heart broken about the compassion from loved ones.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Keeping an air purifier running in the room seems to prevent the low HUM, but causes a mild reaction to my T... but its better than the hum!
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Isn't it amazing as loud as this thing seems... I can still hear everything... the computer fan, the tinking of chimney flap on the boiler when the wind blows, my cat snoring... but I can hear this on top of everything... I assume its the frequency of the sound... its gotta be above 8khz
    gameover
    Hardly much is above 8kHz. H makes me hear things I do not want to hear. It is nuts. And I have hearing loss starting at 6kHz...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @gameover Yeah I dunno, I had no detectable hearing loss up to 8Khz... who knows what that drug did to me.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Am I the only one that hopes that I will crack my neck, blow my nose or just do something and one day wake up without T? I know its silly!
    View previous comments…
    Buddy123
    I gave up wishing for it to be gone some time ago . . . now just hoping that it will get less and less intrusive and bothersome. The reality is that T will continue to exist to some extent. Those who had it disappear is a rarity. I still have hope that my H gets better. It's probably improved by 50 to 70% since the worst of times.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Buddy123 @gameover My mind gets that completely... and honestly I have been trying to prepare myself for that reality for a while. When it happened, it felt wrong and I was pretty sure at that time this was gonna be permanent. Sometimes I just hope for something to give... I realize its unrealistic.
    4Grace
    I need it to back off a lot. More then anything I need it to stop progressing. I truly don't know how I am sleeping. I have to use sound therapy even though its beginning to aggregate my ears more and more. So sad.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Got to switch off, and realize there is no solution. Time and acceptance seem to be what I got. But how?!
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I cant think of one person in my life that has given me any leeway with this... maybe I shouldn't get any.. I am supposed to function like it isnt happening.. I guess we all are...
    4Grace
    If nobody will, you need to allow leeway to yourself. No question. No shame. I can confirm that I have endured the worlds 2 most difficult things. Incredibly this has impacted me as much for different reasons. You are incredibly kind. You deserve it. Honest. Not just words here. I have seen your posts. Wish you all the best, always.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Started the day pretty quiet...ending it screaming... ugh...
    Juliane
    Sorry to hear. We are always being tortured by the nature of this horrible condition:-(
    4Grace
    I am also sorry to hear. I really hope something turns for the better soon,.. for all of us.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Same thing today. I guess I should be thankful for a few hours of reprieve.
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