Juliane

Juliane

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  • 4Grace
    How are things going? It's scary to think that it has been a long time. I don't think I am any better. Just louder and louder.
    View previous comments…
    object16
    Her house was a storehouse of cocaine. Loneliness. Isolation. She kept her dignity though. @Grace I like your name.
    object16
    My friend did a lot of mental health work with me in an imaginary place called healing temple. Dr Jack Kornfield style. The mind is very powerful.
    object16
    My friend's pain was intervertebral disc. Crushing unimaginable, what we have is serious, but actual pain pain, reach for cocaine.
    Juliane
    My tinnitus is getting worse all the time. Something is seriously wrong
    View previous comments…
    object16
    So I'm on like 6+ meds, and so what if I have music and restful rain soundtrack all night. So I can't get to sleep, all the time. It hasn't killed me yet.
    object16
    The meds are not the best thing to be on, they have side effects, but I'll wait it out. My life is shitty. ok. but so what. what else is new.
    4Grace
    @Juliane - I am so sorry to hear this. Honest to God. When you are carful and still worsen. We love you and wish you better days. I feel that if all my pain goes away I might have a chance at a smile. I wish you well.
    Juliane
    Mild T is not an issue. Sorry if this offends someone. But with mild T there is still so much to enjoy
    RunningMan
    Yeah, I used to have mild T, for quite a few years. Never thought about it much unless it was quiet or was trying to sleep. I didn't like it, but I would love to have that now compared to severe tinnitus that I hear all the time throughout the whole day.
    4Grace
    I could not agree more.
    Juliane
    Part of my problem is that even at my worst like now I am still a perfectionist. I still take on too much of everything
    BellaMia
    Same but look at you, you're still going strong even in the thick of the storm.
    Juliane
    All so predictable. The constant torture and complete lack of joy and sleep will weaken my health until I develop something fatal and die
    4Grace
    I have so much stress related pain it's insane. Destroying my health daily. I have had a painful soar throat for weeks. It's adding to the stress. I love you guys.
    Juliane
    I am not going to make it. Too much horrible suffering. Hate how life has turned out
    View previous comments…
    gameover
    @4Grace, @Juliane is not 24, she is a Gen X, like me. Btw, somehow, among many people here, I relate to her and her suffering the most. I wish we come out on the other side of this, I really hope, but the relentless torture kills hope. I am getting some relief lately from time to time, yet I still don't believe in a lasting improvement, just delaying the inevitable.
    4Grace
    Juliane
    @4Grace I wish I was 24! LOL. A bit older :-) Still hope healing is possible for us in our 40es and 50es
    Juliane
    Had three cups of coffee today. Bad idea.
    BellaMia
    Girl you're brave! I'll have anxiety and zero tolerance for T if I did that. I sip on a soda now or have tea on my good days.
    SharonBell
    @Juliane and @BellaMia I drink a cup of coffee here and there decaf, If I have tea here and there it's decaf, and I drink diet and caffeine free drink. I'm
    So scared the caffeine will make my T worse. I drink
    Water all the time and milk.
    Juliane
    I am seriously considering quitting my job and giving up. People with T should not be working (my personal opinion). No capacity
    View previous comments…
    crescentsky
    I would prefer to not work as well. I can barely get up and work, but no income if not.
    Marshall
    I work with a hand full of people who have bad T (High Freq that can be heard no matter what/no masking) and it doesn't bother them too much lol I'm at that point on my bad days. It feels like whatever.
    Marshall
    I wouldn't of said this a year ago, I used to think the same thing, I couldn't function.
    Juliane
    If there is an after life and if good forces reign, I promise my first question will be if we can all please be cured
    View previous comments…
    ZFire
    Like I said, some of them are really skilled at what they do, and will luck out with accurate guesses from time to time and that's where the confirmation biases starts to set in and then the person starts to give up critical info. If they happen to guess wrong, they swiftly pivot and redirect your attention to another high probability guess.
    ZFire
    Some folks who go see them are grappling with personal tragedies. That's one of the main things they keep in mind when they meet people. There's other things too, but the former is most common.
    ZFire
    "They have. I've seen mediums help with cases". I'm sure they have. If it helps people feel better and provide closure, that's a different thing. Good for them. But saying mediums are evidence of an afterlife is not the way. I take exception to that.

    Anyways, please feel free to disregard what I say if you wish. Have a good day too, @BellaMia
    Juliane
    I hope the people who did this to me got some enjoyment out of ruining my life. Then at least someone did. Well done, you must be so proud
    View previous comments…
    object16
    Very true. They narcissistic so it will never affect them.
    L along the way
    I hope they don't have any enjoyment about it at all, and i hope you may find ease & joy again, delicate lady
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Yeah I get mad at my doctor. Their ignorance to what I was prescribed. Ignorance in how it was handled afterwards and continued ignorance is maddening.
    Juliane
    I am never going to normalize tinnitus. F... that! Nothing normal about hearing a stupid sound 24/7. I can't. Won't.
    L along the way
    I resonate. A friend told me the only choice is to accept this. We had a deep talk about psychology, biology and philosophy regarding this. Somehow, since it is physical, and the brain has also to do with biology, and philosophy.. i find the answer to 'just accept'.. i mean.. i tried, but i cannot just turn on an accept switch or something.
    L along the way
    It just doesn't seem to work like that. I guess.. it's good to hear different perspectives, but ultimately follow the thing that works best for you. I have not found a solution for myself, or peace with it yet, for me.. i only go day by day, having hope things may get better, and living a healthy lifestyle
    Juliane
    I want a deep peaceful sleep. I want a magic wardrobe that leads to another world. I will meet you there.
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    I wish I could sleep at least 7 hours straight or at least wake up so briefly that I don't even remember it. I can never go more than a few hours, at most, before waking up, and usually get more like 5 hours of broken sleep, even with overnight zolpidem.
    4Grace
    I could not sleep for 7 months. Now can't wait to get to bed. Just to shut down for the day.
    Juliane
    @Chess Do you usually sleep well?
    Juliane
    13-month update (almost): T has only gotten worse so far. The outlook is incredibly bleak. No hope left.
    4Grace
    :(
    4Grace
    I am so sorry to hear this. I had hope that you would get better. I thought you were doing a little better. :(
    Juliane
    Dear God, if my T lowers significantly and permanently in volume, I will become a better person.
    Marina Moon
    You're already good and have so much heart and compassion. T or any medical condition is not punishment for being bad (though i totally feel what you're saying, i too have been pleading bargains with God)
    Juliane
    Juliane
    Even if I thought "resolving emotional trauma" would help, I don't even know what it means
    gameover
    Nothing to resolve, fuck that. Try to get busy however you can. I know easier said than done.
    Juliane
    Do you think those of us who are not healing have unresolved emotional trauma or is that BS?
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    I would definitely say that's 100% B.S.
    Juliane
    I agree with all of you. I just read a story of a member here saying resolving his emotional trauma helped him heal. So it got me thinking. But no, mine is noise induced and probably made worse thanks to sleeping pills...
    BB23
    that member is deluding himself. I mean, what else can he do, there is no treatment for this condition!
    Juliane
    Dear new neighbors with all your parties and noisy guests; I wish you'd move far far away from me
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